Hey guys!
So yes this post comes eons after my last one. However, with this post I'd like to share something with you guys, that's part of this project I'm working on. By project I mean story idea, yes I'm aware I have a lot of those, but just go with the flow a'ite? Well this project is tentatively titled Bells & Whistles, now if I went into the history of that name we won't finish this post until I guess 2012 so let's just keep it short shall we? I'm experimenting with a new writing style of sorts, and what I'm going to post is one of the chapters from the story/compilation. This project is pretty close to my heart and is a definite work in progress, and I sincerely hope it's sum'n I can finish this year, besides a few other things. I hope you guys will be kind enough to give me some feedback, if not it's all good as well...it comes with the standard disclaimer and warnings with all things related to my writing. Well, have fun and definitely lemme know what you think :).
Here's presenting one of the chapters from Bells & Whistles, titled Numb. Stay tuned to this space for updates on what the hell B & W is about, I will definitely elucidate on the idea in upcoming posts, due to a lil' bit of a time concern I won't be able to elaborate much on the idea at the moment. Happy Reading, and all your time and feedback is greatly appreciated!
Numb
Through the gateway,
Past the passage of
youth,
Of times characterized,
By innocence, purity,
and naivety;
Where the focus of life,
Was all about
Becoming the who,
what and why…
Of dreams of,
Many a day that passed
you by;
When you figured;
Nay, when you though,
You knew…
That nothing could
Stop you now;
That you had faced
Every hurdle, obstacle,
and difficulty,
Life could toss at you;
Just when you,
Were beginning to
settle down.
With the cards dealt,
By the hands of fate,
It hits you,
Smack you and,
Takes you down
by surprise.
Unannounced, Unwelcomed
Unwanted, and Un-needed;
It charges at you,
Like a wild, hungry
beast,
Daunting, with haunting
eyes;
Looming and casting
gloomy shadows.
A stiff reminder,
Of all the lessons yet
to be learned,
Of all those tricks,
That fiendish thing
called Life,
Has yet to unveil.
Broken spirits, broken
souls,
Faiths shaken,
Wandering zombies
of hope,
Waiting to be restored,
Like those wandering
souls,
Residing and roaming
purgatory.
Is this hell?
Is this my punishment?
Of crimes past,
And sins ever present?
Walking past that
gateway,
On that road,
Towards the next phase
of my life…
For the first time,
I felt like a trespasser.
Walking a path,
I should not be
walking;
Perhaps a life,
I shouldn’t be living.
Staring down the
abyss,
Of a beginning, of
change,
Of what I saw as my
ending.
When hope seemed
far out of grasp,
Beyond my reach,
When all the will I
had,
Felt like it was spent,
Trying and fighting.
When all the dreams,
Seemed like they,
Had their fates sealed…
Unfulfilled and broken,
Hurt…possessed by a soul
wilting,
Withering, dying…
Accompanied by the
frigid, stinging wind,
Of heartbreak, guilt,
And betrayal anew.
Shackled by the chains
of disappointment;
Carrier of weights,
Of woeful eyes,
Cause of many a
disappointed sighs,
And words…ever so sharp,
Ever so stark…
Like blades slicing through
the heart.
Like the blistering, dry
winds,
Blowing over many
a vast desert.
Blazing, branding, scorching,
Everything within it’s
path…
Numb…delirious and
lost,
Like the lost nomad,
Wandering that vast,
Barren desert called Life,
Searching for my oasis,
My spark and sign of life.
I fall on my knees,
Head bowed…
Hands spread wide,
In prayer…
Gesturing, asking;
The vast vagueness,
Of life and the Universe,
For that sign,
For that strength,
For that oasis of hope;
Just to keep fighting,
Just to keep looking
forward,
To brighter days,
And a better tomorrow.
SJ (Feb 24, 2011)
Song of the Day:
Song: Numb
Artist/Band: Linkin Park
Album: Meteora
Release Date: September 8, Circa 2003
Bells
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
No One Killed Jessica….Truth, Justice, Bureaucracy and the People.
Welcome to a world that has more democracies than dictatorships, I mean I’d like to believe we live in a world where there’s a very slim chance of having dictatorships coming to the fore-front. But then again, politics is pretty much like sports where the results are always unexpected and unanticipated, unless you’re freaking Australia and you know you’re a sure fire bet for the Finals and heck even the World Cup, and that would be the ICC World Cup. To those unaware of such an event and what the ICC is, well Google it and I’m sure you’ll see what I’m talking about. Well okay it has a lot to do with the amazing game of Cricket. This post however, is highly inappropriate for a full discourse on cricket, because, I can actually go on and on about it for hours. None the less, getting back to the topic at hand…before we get any further let me just make one thing very clear, I am not a political analyst and I have nothing to say with regards to political parties and ridiculous bureaucracy.
When I first saw the promos of this movie, the first thing that got my attention was the plot-line, the racy and gritty cinematography and the most important thing being 2 stellar actresses, in my humble opinion, sharing screen space. I mean come on!! What else can you expect me to say when you see promos featuring Vidya Balan and Rani Mukherjee? Both actresses have proved so much with movies like Parineeta and Black (for instance) and they have so much more to contribute to the world of Indian cinema. The moment the promo got done I had set some expectations as far as this movie was concerned, and this definitely would have been a movie I would’ve gone to a theatre to watch. Unfortunately, my current location doesn’t afford that luxury of being able to go watch a Hindi movie in a theatre, but, that being said, I was completely and absolutely psyched to watch this movie. The general plot-line got me to go Google the movie and of course the ever friendly Wikipedia gave me a gist on what the plot/movie was based on. That only got me further interested and waiting with bated breath for this movie.
Now before I literally nose-dive into this review, there are a few things one should NOT expect from this movie. This is not a movie about political parties and the complications that arise from messing with politicians and things of the sort. You will not see the standard thugs hired by cronies of powerful politicians to take care of business by resorting to vile things like rape and things of the sort. It’s not a Satya, so don’t expect that extent or degree of gritty-ness, neither is this a glamorous depiction of events. This story is basically about truth, justice, unity and the power of the people. I’ll try and summarize the story as much as I can, as much as I don’t really like giving away the plot or anything of the sort. I mean I’d rather tell you what I felt when I watched the movie as opposed to summarizing the entire story, that as all you smarties know are available on numerous websites that do reviews, so you don’t really need to read the story all over again. Here’s the bare minimum, the story is set in Delhi…it all starts with a girl being shot in a high profile bar by a high profile person, who has lots of political power/clout. There are 300 witnesses but by the time the report gets filed down at the police station everyone has a different story and only 7 people are witnesses. The entire case falls apart and the suspects are released, much to the chagrin of the family, and all of this happens in six years. Six years of trying to resolve this case leads to the perpetrator being declared innocent and released, due to the wonderful cons of democracy. Yeah I know you’re probably going to say that’s both ridiculous and impossible that it took six years to resolve this case, but it’s the truth. There’s a short version of the case and trials on Wikipedia…I mean wow it’s just ridiculous as to what that family had to go through. Once the verdict is out, enter enraged journalist who is pissed with the end result justice delivered to what the journalist pretty much declared was an open and shut case due to huge number of witnesses that were there when this incident occurred. This journalist then sets about with a team to do what journalists do, to seek out the truth and present facts to the masses as they are. Ultimately, the case gets a lot of national attention and people are outraged by the incompetence exhibited by many parties that were responsible and involved with this case, and due to much public pressure the case is re-opened and dealt with in the Supreme Court.
Personally the movie lived up to my expectations and then some, I thought the performances were just exemplary and I’m glad this issue was brought up. Another I liked too was the little homage/tribute the movie paid to 'Rang De Basanti' (the word AMAZING is an under-statement when it comes to describing RDB). Nobody should ever have to go through what Jessica and her family had to go through, it has definitely got to be one of the most difficult and frustrating things a family or an individual has to face. All that pain, sadness, frustration, anger, numbness and bitterness is way too much for anybody to carry and I sincerely and truly hope that mistakes of this caliber and crimes of this degree don’t happen in the future. But just as much as this world is filled with enlightened and wiser people, there’s always that fair share of idiots and douches who like to refresh our memories with such horrendous incidents.
The story occurs over a time period when India had just settled down from a huge war that had brought a nation together and was moving forward in the direction of growth, development and progress especially in the whole technology, communications and scientific fields. They don’t or at least I think are not supposed to be inclined to any particular side, as they are the instruments of the people and have a responsibility to those very people to give them the truth and the facts in the purest and most undiluted way possible. Sure it might be a little far fetched and naïve to expect people to not take sides, but if there’s anything one cannot deny, it’s their dedication to hunt and go the extra mile to get to the very bottom of a story. You have to realize though, that this is not a revenge oriented story or one filled with lectures and speeches about what the youth should do or what people should do. This movie is just a reminder that not everything is as simple as it looks, and that there definitely is a lot of hope in this world we live in, because it isn’t always as ignorant as it seems. People should never assume that their actions won’t have consequences and on that very same note they shouldn’t be taken for granted either. There is much power, fervor, passion and ferocity for justice and equality that can be evoked within the common man, because there’s only so much bull shit that anyone can put up with. So if you’re one of those people who think that you can keep screwing people over and none of this is going to get back to you, I’d like to give you the following warning…think before you do something stupid. It might seem like one or two people to you, but if you count all those people you’ve screwed over in the past that’s entirely something else to think about now isn’t it? They’re like the drops of water that over time collect and form an ocean, so watch your words and actions, there’s only so much oppression anyone will take.
The public/general populace is quite the force to contend with, and we must never forget that. We have…in fact; we are the power that is responsible for a lot of important and leading figures to be the people they are. We are what make them (yes I’m using the Us v/s them analogy), and we should never forget that, with that in mind we should never under-estimate all the change we’re capable of bringing about in the world and we should never psych ourselves to believe that there is nothing we can do when we’re shackled by the chains of suppression and oppression. Heck I don’t need to say that to you guys, that’s something History has highlighted time after time, but sometimes we just need someone to hit that ‘reset’ button to remind us of all that we are capable of.
Song of the Day:
Song: Dilli
OST: No One Killed Jessica
Release Date: December 1, Circa 2010
Ps: I love how uninhibited the script is, watch out for swearing, if you're someone who cannot tolerate swearing yet wanna watch the movie jus' ear muff it.
When I first saw the promos of this movie, the first thing that got my attention was the plot-line, the racy and gritty cinematography and the most important thing being 2 stellar actresses, in my humble opinion, sharing screen space. I mean come on!! What else can you expect me to say when you see promos featuring Vidya Balan and Rani Mukherjee? Both actresses have proved so much with movies like Parineeta and Black (for instance) and they have so much more to contribute to the world of Indian cinema. The moment the promo got done I had set some expectations as far as this movie was concerned, and this definitely would have been a movie I would’ve gone to a theatre to watch. Unfortunately, my current location doesn’t afford that luxury of being able to go watch a Hindi movie in a theatre, but, that being said, I was completely and absolutely psyched to watch this movie. The general plot-line got me to go Google the movie and of course the ever friendly Wikipedia gave me a gist on what the plot/movie was based on. That only got me further interested and waiting with bated breath for this movie.
Now before I literally nose-dive into this review, there are a few things one should NOT expect from this movie. This is not a movie about political parties and the complications that arise from messing with politicians and things of the sort. You will not see the standard thugs hired by cronies of powerful politicians to take care of business by resorting to vile things like rape and things of the sort. It’s not a Satya, so don’t expect that extent or degree of gritty-ness, neither is this a glamorous depiction of events. This story is basically about truth, justice, unity and the power of the people. I’ll try and summarize the story as much as I can, as much as I don’t really like giving away the plot or anything of the sort. I mean I’d rather tell you what I felt when I watched the movie as opposed to summarizing the entire story, that as all you smarties know are available on numerous websites that do reviews, so you don’t really need to read the story all over again. Here’s the bare minimum, the story is set in Delhi…it all starts with a girl being shot in a high profile bar by a high profile person, who has lots of political power/clout. There are 300 witnesses but by the time the report gets filed down at the police station everyone has a different story and only 7 people are witnesses. The entire case falls apart and the suspects are released, much to the chagrin of the family, and all of this happens in six years. Six years of trying to resolve this case leads to the perpetrator being declared innocent and released, due to the wonderful cons of democracy. Yeah I know you’re probably going to say that’s both ridiculous and impossible that it took six years to resolve this case, but it’s the truth. There’s a short version of the case and trials on Wikipedia…I mean wow it’s just ridiculous as to what that family had to go through. Once the verdict is out, enter enraged journalist who is pissed with the end result justice delivered to what the journalist pretty much declared was an open and shut case due to huge number of witnesses that were there when this incident occurred. This journalist then sets about with a team to do what journalists do, to seek out the truth and present facts to the masses as they are. Ultimately, the case gets a lot of national attention and people are outraged by the incompetence exhibited by many parties that were responsible and involved with this case, and due to much public pressure the case is re-opened and dealt with in the Supreme Court.
Personally the movie lived up to my expectations and then some, I thought the performances were just exemplary and I’m glad this issue was brought up. Another I liked too was the little homage/tribute the movie paid to 'Rang De Basanti' (the word AMAZING is an under-statement when it comes to describing RDB). Nobody should ever have to go through what Jessica and her family had to go through, it has definitely got to be one of the most difficult and frustrating things a family or an individual has to face. All that pain, sadness, frustration, anger, numbness and bitterness is way too much for anybody to carry and I sincerely and truly hope that mistakes of this caliber and crimes of this degree don’t happen in the future. But just as much as this world is filled with enlightened and wiser people, there’s always that fair share of idiots and douches who like to refresh our memories with such horrendous incidents.
The story occurs over a time period when India had just settled down from a huge war that had brought a nation together and was moving forward in the direction of growth, development and progress especially in the whole technology, communications and scientific fields. They don’t or at least I think are not supposed to be inclined to any particular side, as they are the instruments of the people and have a responsibility to those very people to give them the truth and the facts in the purest and most undiluted way possible. Sure it might be a little far fetched and naïve to expect people to not take sides, but if there’s anything one cannot deny, it’s their dedication to hunt and go the extra mile to get to the very bottom of a story. You have to realize though, that this is not a revenge oriented story or one filled with lectures and speeches about what the youth should do or what people should do. This movie is just a reminder that not everything is as simple as it looks, and that there definitely is a lot of hope in this world we live in, because it isn’t always as ignorant as it seems. People should never assume that their actions won’t have consequences and on that very same note they shouldn’t be taken for granted either. There is much power, fervor, passion and ferocity for justice and equality that can be evoked within the common man, because there’s only so much bull shit that anyone can put up with. So if you’re one of those people who think that you can keep screwing people over and none of this is going to get back to you, I’d like to give you the following warning…think before you do something stupid. It might seem like one or two people to you, but if you count all those people you’ve screwed over in the past that’s entirely something else to think about now isn’t it? They’re like the drops of water that over time collect and form an ocean, so watch your words and actions, there’s only so much oppression anyone will take.
The public/general populace is quite the force to contend with, and we must never forget that. We have…in fact; we are the power that is responsible for a lot of important and leading figures to be the people they are. We are what make them (yes I’m using the Us v/s them analogy), and we should never forget that, with that in mind we should never under-estimate all the change we’re capable of bringing about in the world and we should never psych ourselves to believe that there is nothing we can do when we’re shackled by the chains of suppression and oppression. Heck I don’t need to say that to you guys, that’s something History has highlighted time after time, but sometimes we just need someone to hit that ‘reset’ button to remind us of all that we are capable of.
Song of the Day:
Song: Dilli
OST: No One Killed Jessica
Release Date: December 1, Circa 2010
Ps: I love how uninhibited the script is, watch out for swearing, if you're someone who cannot tolerate swearing yet wanna watch the movie jus' ear muff it.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Candle In the Wind
A major issue these days that I think gets side lined if not stated as a numb statistic and factoid is the case of suicide. The only time it receives crazy attention is if it's something that involves and serves several human rights and welfare groups' agendas. I mean it's stated about as starkly and casually as the casualties of war. I use war in the singular and not the plural because both you and I know there are way too many of them going on for me to rant about. But that's one I shall save for another time.
Here's going back to the topic at hand. I wanted to post about this issue before, around December or so to be honest. I was having one of those crisis of conscience, life, questions about the big picture and fun hints of the sort or well you could also call it procrastination I guess...as I was gearing up for exams around that time. Yea yea I know what the hell was I looking at that made me want to write about suicides right?
Well for starters I was doing some research about study strategies and ways to minimize procrastination and fun things of the sort because as you all know procrastination will be the death of us all. Okay for you "preservation of the English language" groups and you grammar Nazis I know the previous sentence was a wonderful example of repetition. None the less I was in the middle of finding some inspiration and somewhere between browsing for inspiration and catching up on Facebook almost every 2 minutes, which might I add was not a lotta fun as the News Feed kept showing me the same old news again and again. I mean do I really care about people's narcissistic expressions about themselves especially when they have a gazillion pictures of themselves in different poses. Actually no scratch that make that albums dedicated to themselves titled "Me" or "Moments" or some such BS. I mean I know we live in a time of self promotion and then some where we all are our own agents to promote and market ourselves bit a little toning down never hurt anyone, especially my eyes. Anyway I do digress...so this one time that my the feed refreshed if not updated itself I saw a post that went something along the lines of how this friend of mine was apologizing to another friend for not being there for them and for not seeing that something was not right. I mean yeah that seems like no biggie right? But what followed after those lines piqued my curiosity, my friend said something like "If only I had noticed something back then you probably would have been here today to hear and celebrate one of the greatest moments of my life. But now even this news holds no excitement without having you to share it with. I cannot believe it's been 7 months without you." or something along those lines. At first glance it just seems like a regular message between friends who I guess sorta lost touch with each other due to the climbing and growing burdens the world today seems to have fun piling on to us. It was the end of the message that caught me off guard, that last line about being watched over and until we meet again. I think I was hit by a wave of guilt, concern, sadness and a jarring if not glaring sense of awareness. You would think that was all that caught me off guard; following the message was a response to that message by I guess the mother of the dearly departed friend. Now that was definitely heart-breaking, my curiosity got the best of me yet again and I wanted to know if the account was still active or not. So I went into the profile and lo and behold there were all these comments, messages and responses this individual's mother had written.
The thing that hit me the most was how much guilt the parent was harboring. Just seeing those pleas and questions of 'why' and 'how' just broke my heart. Being a child (yes I still am one so you can quit the eye rolling) it's the hardest thing in the world to see parents blaming themselves and considering themselves to be failures as parents. Well more than that it's hard to see them do or accept heck agree to what their kids try not to make them feel. It hurts more when a child sees they weren't able to protect their parents from whatever it was they were trying to protect them from.
I know suicide is one of those delicate matters that isn't condoned by many components of humanity. I mean not a lotta people stop to think of the hows and why's they jump straight to the 'what a coward' aspect of things. It definitely takes more than a coward to finalize that decision and to contiguity with it if you think about it. None the less I'm not here to support or shoot down the topic, I'm in no position whatsoever to do that. Just reading that post got me thinking about what one can do or should do or what we as friends, sisters, brothers, lovers, spouses and parents should look out for. I mean if something happened to someone close to me I'm not sure how I would react. I might hold myself personally responsible for not being there enough or for not sensing something was up.
I think if anything the entire incident had me feeling just how much we take everything for granted and how we don't necessarily realize that until something drastic or unexpected happens. I mean there are some if us who love to broadcast every single problem or low we hit and then there are some of us who tend to tuck away and bottle up all of that and try and put up a real brave and strong face. Bottom line we all hit major lows but sometimes we feel trapped, if not buried alive by our own thoughts of failure and utter disappointment. This holds even more weight for those of us with the 'Black sheep of the family' complex. Yeah so pretty much anything and everything we read these days tell us to reach out to those we know and we can reach out to. But, oh and that's one big but, what makes things worse is when we reach out to people we consider even closer than family and all we get are those standard lines that any random person on the street would give you. That tends to compound and further fracture an already delicate situation, especially if it's someone for whom you would drop most things you're doing just to be there for them. Then you have that proverbial kicking yourself in the ass feeling, i should know personal experience and all. Trust me no amount of saying have zero expectations is going to make a person have zero expectations especially when it comes to matters of the heart. However, going back to what I was saying, not everybody is a walking, talking mood thermostat waiting to divulge any and all info regarding their lives. I know everyone has a crazy ass, hectic life where the only free time if they get any free time us that spent catching up on z's or doing more work. But please take some time outta that life filled win hustle n bustle to just drop a line, message heck even an email to the people that matter to you. You never know, sometimes that one action could be the reprieve if not turning point, heck I would go as far as saying the salvation they needed.
Suicide is no joke, and I don't care if you disagree with me for most part as far as this post goes but I do hope you get that message of not taking anyone for granted. Trust me, even if it's once in I dunno 6 months it makes a helluva difference and it matters. Take the time out to remind those close to you just how amazing they are because you never know how far that little reminder is gonna take them. Well I guess that's it for now folks, I'm not sure if I said enough of what I wanted to say about this issue but if I have more to say then hey there's always that new post option.
If you were expecting a moral, ethical and religious discourse on the issue then I guess I'm sorry to disappoint. Nobody except the G-man and okay maybe the law gets to make a call like that. Well I hope all is going decently well for all of you and if it ain't then just hold out...things are gonna turn around before you know it even if it doesn't seem like it you just gotta believe it will.
Song(s) of the Day:
Song: Dante's Prayer
Artist: Loreena McKennitt
Album: The Book of Secrets
Release Date: September, Circa 1997
Song: Kyun Main Jaagoon
Artist: Shafqat Amanat Ali
Album: Patiala House
Release Date: January 7, Circa 2011
Song: Haunted
Artist: Kelly Clarkson
Album: My December
Release Date: June 22, Circa 2007
Here's going back to the topic at hand. I wanted to post about this issue before, around December or so to be honest. I was having one of those crisis of conscience, life, questions about the big picture and fun hints of the sort or well you could also call it procrastination I guess...as I was gearing up for exams around that time. Yea yea I know what the hell was I looking at that made me want to write about suicides right?
Well for starters I was doing some research about study strategies and ways to minimize procrastination and fun things of the sort because as you all know procrastination will be the death of us all. Okay for you "preservation of the English language" groups and you grammar Nazis I know the previous sentence was a wonderful example of repetition. None the less I was in the middle of finding some inspiration and somewhere between browsing for inspiration and catching up on Facebook almost every 2 minutes, which might I add was not a lotta fun as the News Feed kept showing me the same old news again and again. I mean do I really care about people's narcissistic expressions about themselves especially when they have a gazillion pictures of themselves in different poses. Actually no scratch that make that albums dedicated to themselves titled "Me" or "Moments" or some such BS. I mean I know we live in a time of self promotion and then some where we all are our own agents to promote and market ourselves bit a little toning down never hurt anyone, especially my eyes. Anyway I do digress...so this one time that my the feed refreshed if not updated itself I saw a post that went something along the lines of how this friend of mine was apologizing to another friend for not being there for them and for not seeing that something was not right. I mean yeah that seems like no biggie right? But what followed after those lines piqued my curiosity, my friend said something like "If only I had noticed something back then you probably would have been here today to hear and celebrate one of the greatest moments of my life. But now even this news holds no excitement without having you to share it with. I cannot believe it's been 7 months without you." or something along those lines. At first glance it just seems like a regular message between friends who I guess sorta lost touch with each other due to the climbing and growing burdens the world today seems to have fun piling on to us. It was the end of the message that caught me off guard, that last line about being watched over and until we meet again. I think I was hit by a wave of guilt, concern, sadness and a jarring if not glaring sense of awareness. You would think that was all that caught me off guard; following the message was a response to that message by I guess the mother of the dearly departed friend. Now that was definitely heart-breaking, my curiosity got the best of me yet again and I wanted to know if the account was still active or not. So I went into the profile and lo and behold there were all these comments, messages and responses this individual's mother had written.
The thing that hit me the most was how much guilt the parent was harboring. Just seeing those pleas and questions of 'why' and 'how' just broke my heart. Being a child (yes I still am one so you can quit the eye rolling) it's the hardest thing in the world to see parents blaming themselves and considering themselves to be failures as parents. Well more than that it's hard to see them do or accept heck agree to what their kids try not to make them feel. It hurts more when a child sees they weren't able to protect their parents from whatever it was they were trying to protect them from.
I know suicide is one of those delicate matters that isn't condoned by many components of humanity. I mean not a lotta people stop to think of the hows and why's they jump straight to the 'what a coward' aspect of things. It definitely takes more than a coward to finalize that decision and to contiguity with it if you think about it. None the less I'm not here to support or shoot down the topic, I'm in no position whatsoever to do that. Just reading that post got me thinking about what one can do or should do or what we as friends, sisters, brothers, lovers, spouses and parents should look out for. I mean if something happened to someone close to me I'm not sure how I would react. I might hold myself personally responsible for not being there enough or for not sensing something was up.
I think if anything the entire incident had me feeling just how much we take everything for granted and how we don't necessarily realize that until something drastic or unexpected happens. I mean there are some if us who love to broadcast every single problem or low we hit and then there are some of us who tend to tuck away and bottle up all of that and try and put up a real brave and strong face. Bottom line we all hit major lows but sometimes we feel trapped, if not buried alive by our own thoughts of failure and utter disappointment. This holds even more weight for those of us with the 'Black sheep of the family' complex. Yeah so pretty much anything and everything we read these days tell us to reach out to those we know and we can reach out to. But, oh and that's one big but, what makes things worse is when we reach out to people we consider even closer than family and all we get are those standard lines that any random person on the street would give you. That tends to compound and further fracture an already delicate situation, especially if it's someone for whom you would drop most things you're doing just to be there for them. Then you have that proverbial kicking yourself in the ass feeling, i should know personal experience and all. Trust me no amount of saying have zero expectations is going to make a person have zero expectations especially when it comes to matters of the heart. However, going back to what I was saying, not everybody is a walking, talking mood thermostat waiting to divulge any and all info regarding their lives. I know everyone has a crazy ass, hectic life where the only free time if they get any free time us that spent catching up on z's or doing more work. But please take some time outta that life filled win hustle n bustle to just drop a line, message heck even an email to the people that matter to you. You never know, sometimes that one action could be the reprieve if not turning point, heck I would go as far as saying the salvation they needed.
Suicide is no joke, and I don't care if you disagree with me for most part as far as this post goes but I do hope you get that message of not taking anyone for granted. Trust me, even if it's once in I dunno 6 months it makes a helluva difference and it matters. Take the time out to remind those close to you just how amazing they are because you never know how far that little reminder is gonna take them. Well I guess that's it for now folks, I'm not sure if I said enough of what I wanted to say about this issue but if I have more to say then hey there's always that new post option.
If you were expecting a moral, ethical and religious discourse on the issue then I guess I'm sorry to disappoint. Nobody except the G-man and okay maybe the law gets to make a call like that. Well I hope all is going decently well for all of you and if it ain't then just hold out...things are gonna turn around before you know it even if it doesn't seem like it you just gotta believe it will.
Song(s) of the Day:
Song: Dante's Prayer
Artist: Loreena McKennitt
Album: The Book of Secrets
Release Date: September, Circa 1997
Song: Kyun Main Jaagoon
Artist: Shafqat Amanat Ali
Album: Patiala House
Release Date: January 7, Circa 2011
Song: Haunted
Artist: Kelly Clarkson
Album: My December
Release Date: June 22, Circa 2007
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Of all things Charmed & Dandy
Okay this is a heavy disclaimer, this post has some heavy duty ranting about the TV show Charmed, and if you have never seen it nor have any interest in it step away from this post RIGHT NOW, that's right close the tab, hit the backspace button or just hit the link box and type in another address and go along your merry way. I have had this need to rant about this show for a while now and this is a lotta ranting about the show. Don't say you weren't warned when this is the very first paragraph. If you still however progress to read this and consider this an absolute waste of your time, well your fault you ninny head. Until the next post then peepz...
So there's always those days and moments where you are almost certain that you are going cookie for sure. I mean come on!!!! Who the hell obsesses over TV shows that had the craziest shake up with their cast, my case in point being charmed. Maybe I might be the only one to think so but damn guy that show went to hell....literally. It's like the Source of all evil took over the show and tossed it to like the tacky lower level demons that the show introduced us to over the seasons. First big mistake was to eliminate Prue from the show. If they wanted to eliminate a character it should have been Phoebe. She did get really annoying over the seasons and she cannot act for nuts. So they, the they being the PTB of the show. A few people or maybe many might shoot me for saying this but the truth stings and I sincerely believe that the show just depreciated in content and quality after season 3. Okay season 4 was sorta kinda the beginning of the end. I found it quite depressing and I kept expecting Prue to show up, if not to kick some demon ass (which, she did an awesome job of might I add) then to ease Piper's pain and be there for her. I personally think that of all the sisters the greatest bond was between Prue and Piper, I think if anything they were each other's rock. That last episode of season 3 oh man Prue's reaction to Piper's death was just heart wrenching. Heck I have no words to describe what I thought of that scene. Think about it I think Prue would never have forgiven herself if anything happened to Piper. Is it just me or did Phoebe just seem all oh hey okay Prue is dead and yay we have another sister. I think that really aggravated me and she was sorta responsible for the death of her sister. Yeah sure take a leap of faith in the name of love and all that crap. She seemed absolutely fine after her sister's death which is absolute crap. There was no grieving except that one scene where she seemed to have a breakdown or some bull shit. Yes I am ranting about this show and I shan't stop until I am done ranting. I think the show ran for 8 seasons too long and they had some real shit.
I really tried to watch the show beyond season 3 and by the second episode of the sixth season I gave up. I tossed my hands up and had a "Piper" moment. I thought the episode was going to freeze and my torture would end. The only reason I made it that far was because of Holly Marie Combs; now she was the only saving grace of the show following Shannen Doherty's exit. There was so much potential that one could see in those first three seasons. Then some idiot decided to can 2 very crucial elements of the show. The first being the above mentioned Shannen Doherty and the second being the actual creator of the show, Constance M Burge. My understanding, which may not seem necessarily apt for this situation, is one where I think whoever fired her is was and will always be a bloody tool. Okay some of the complaints which i read up on a few forums hate how childish and demented the show became. The childish aspect I don't mind so much because it gives kids and the rest of us idiot box lovers something to get our minds to actively participate in. Okay sure the show ain't no Jeopardy or Who wants to be a millionaire or any trivia or self improvement show or any of that ultimate fighter stuff. But me being the buff with things varying between the realms if fantasy, mystery and the supernatural shows like this get the cogs in me head turning. My folks think I over obsess and I won't deny that I don't but the idiot box is something that has held my attention and piqued my curiosity since I was a kid. Contrary to popular belief and/or notions I wasn't the popular kid with the friends falling left, right and centre nor was I the kid who had someone to go chill with and talk my problems, cares and concerns with. So sue me for having an opinion about the things I watch.
Going back to what I was talking about earlier, not only did they murder an amazing show, get rid of some of the better creative influences on the show they didn't even have the freaking courtesy of bringing back one of the main people mentioned above for the finale of the show. I mean WHAT THE HELL?!?!? How can you not bring back Prue Halliwell for a series finale, what the hell are you smoking? I read the whole schpiel about budget issues and that's a load of bull. The other thing I read was the guy helming the show and responsible for it's absolute death and destruction, did not even bother calling the actress to reprise her role. What a douche and a half. Anyway the show should have ended at season 7 heck even way before season 7 but while it did run till then that's where it should have ended. At least it had a decent ending that series finale while being nostalgic I just absolutely hated how they completely sidelined one of the primary characters that made this show a household name during her 3 season run on it. Sure call me a disloyal fan for not tuning into the show or heck giving up on it after that 2 episode adventure from season 6. While I do have quite the patience and tolerance level there was none left by the time I got to season 6. What bullshit was that anyway, just thinking of the time spent going through those seasons makes me cringe.
None the less just when I thought the dust on Charmed had settled I read that it has gone the Buffy, Angel and Firefly way or rather the Joss Whedon way. Apparently since last year they have started publishing Charmed Season 9 comic books. While I did groan a little there was also a part of me that got uber excited. I mean can you think of all the cool things they could do? I think the thing that triggered my excitement was when I saw a sketch of....wait for it.....that's right people...Prue Halliwell, by one of the artists working on the comic book version. So I had an absolute fan girl moment and e-mailed the publishers and sent them one of those comments thingymajiggs to pretty please bring Prue back and guess what...They actually freaking responded and said that they have received lots if emails from fans asking to bring Prue back. I mean if anything I think they need to bring her back at least for Piper's sake. She never recovered from losing Prue and the chemistry between the sisters was definitely missing something that the first three seasons had. That does not heifer mean that I have no appreciation for Paige. I think they killed off the wrong sister, apparently creativity got canned and Phoebe's whorey-ness was decidedly the key focus to draw in viewers. None the less I do digress from that e-mail I sent Zenescope (yes that's how attached I get to things, even if the B-man said that attachment is something we need to get rid of as it is the cause of desire and fun things of the sort). Anyhoo after reading that message I was beaming with excitement and I definitely did have my internal squeals of joy. Yes things like this definitely make me happy, it may seem insignificant but I like finding my happiness where I can especially after the ridiculous start this year has taken so far.
Appreciating things like this brings on a different feeling of happiness than you get from doing other things that make you happy. It's almost as if you're saying your thank you'd to the creative part of your brain and you know you need your creativity to sometimes deal with those curve Allston life throws at you. Okay saying curveball sorta doesn't come easily to me because I am more of a cricket girl v/s baseball. So I guess I should rephrase that as googlies versus curvaceous or heck even flippers or doosras. Them flippers and doosras are tricky bastards to face. Right must focus on one thing at a time. Well I think this about covers my rant about Charmed, it has been one that I have had for a few years and that was re-triggered while I was watching a few episodes from the first three seasons. Well I guess I will have to bide my time and make do with those 3 seasons until Prue returns in the graphic world. I sincerely hope she returns as a permanent character, even though we did get a glimpse of the future in that series finale we also know that nothing goes the way it should or as is seen in the future. Prue's death sorta implies that dun' it? Well on that note I'm gonna take off now, and yes for those of y'all who have loved every season of this show watch out for the comics. Apparently every 6 issues is equivalent to an episode. I wonder if they will get Constance Burge to write an episode? I think that would be just an awesome way to pay homage to the creator of this idea/vision/idea.
Well I think I have done my fair share of ranting for the moment. Take care everyone and I hope things are working out for you guys more at this moment than they are for me. Take care of yerselves you minions from both flu like factors and mind boggling factors and so I bid ye farewell in true Charmed fashion...."Blessed Be"
So there's always those days and moments where you are almost certain that you are going cookie for sure. I mean come on!!!! Who the hell obsesses over TV shows that had the craziest shake up with their cast, my case in point being charmed. Maybe I might be the only one to think so but damn guy that show went to hell....literally. It's like the Source of all evil took over the show and tossed it to like the tacky lower level demons that the show introduced us to over the seasons. First big mistake was to eliminate Prue from the show. If they wanted to eliminate a character it should have been Phoebe. She did get really annoying over the seasons and she cannot act for nuts. So they, the they being the PTB of the show. A few people or maybe many might shoot me for saying this but the truth stings and I sincerely believe that the show just depreciated in content and quality after season 3. Okay season 4 was sorta kinda the beginning of the end. I found it quite depressing and I kept expecting Prue to show up, if not to kick some demon ass (which, she did an awesome job of might I add) then to ease Piper's pain and be there for her. I personally think that of all the sisters the greatest bond was between Prue and Piper, I think if anything they were each other's rock. That last episode of season 3 oh man Prue's reaction to Piper's death was just heart wrenching. Heck I have no words to describe what I thought of that scene. Think about it I think Prue would never have forgiven herself if anything happened to Piper. Is it just me or did Phoebe just seem all oh hey okay Prue is dead and yay we have another sister. I think that really aggravated me and she was sorta responsible for the death of her sister. Yeah sure take a leap of faith in the name of love and all that crap. She seemed absolutely fine after her sister's death which is absolute crap. There was no grieving except that one scene where she seemed to have a breakdown or some bull shit. Yes I am ranting about this show and I shan't stop until I am done ranting. I think the show ran for 8 seasons too long and they had some real shit.
I really tried to watch the show beyond season 3 and by the second episode of the sixth season I gave up. I tossed my hands up and had a "Piper" moment. I thought the episode was going to freeze and my torture would end. The only reason I made it that far was because of Holly Marie Combs; now she was the only saving grace of the show following Shannen Doherty's exit. There was so much potential that one could see in those first three seasons. Then some idiot decided to can 2 very crucial elements of the show. The first being the above mentioned Shannen Doherty and the second being the actual creator of the show, Constance M Burge. My understanding, which may not seem necessarily apt for this situation, is one where I think whoever fired her is was and will always be a bloody tool. Okay some of the complaints which i read up on a few forums hate how childish and demented the show became. The childish aspect I don't mind so much because it gives kids and the rest of us idiot box lovers something to get our minds to actively participate in. Okay sure the show ain't no Jeopardy or Who wants to be a millionaire or any trivia or self improvement show or any of that ultimate fighter stuff. But me being the buff with things varying between the realms if fantasy, mystery and the supernatural shows like this get the cogs in me head turning. My folks think I over obsess and I won't deny that I don't but the idiot box is something that has held my attention and piqued my curiosity since I was a kid. Contrary to popular belief and/or notions I wasn't the popular kid with the friends falling left, right and centre nor was I the kid who had someone to go chill with and talk my problems, cares and concerns with. So sue me for having an opinion about the things I watch.
Going back to what I was talking about earlier, not only did they murder an amazing show, get rid of some of the better creative influences on the show they didn't even have the freaking courtesy of bringing back one of the main people mentioned above for the finale of the show. I mean WHAT THE HELL?!?!? How can you not bring back Prue Halliwell for a series finale, what the hell are you smoking? I read the whole schpiel about budget issues and that's a load of bull. The other thing I read was the guy helming the show and responsible for it's absolute death and destruction, did not even bother calling the actress to reprise her role. What a douche and a half. Anyway the show should have ended at season 7 heck even way before season 7 but while it did run till then that's where it should have ended. At least it had a decent ending that series finale while being nostalgic I just absolutely hated how they completely sidelined one of the primary characters that made this show a household name during her 3 season run on it. Sure call me a disloyal fan for not tuning into the show or heck giving up on it after that 2 episode adventure from season 6. While I do have quite the patience and tolerance level there was none left by the time I got to season 6. What bullshit was that anyway, just thinking of the time spent going through those seasons makes me cringe.
None the less just when I thought the dust on Charmed had settled I read that it has gone the Buffy, Angel and Firefly way or rather the Joss Whedon way. Apparently since last year they have started publishing Charmed Season 9 comic books. While I did groan a little there was also a part of me that got uber excited. I mean can you think of all the cool things they could do? I think the thing that triggered my excitement was when I saw a sketch of....wait for it.....that's right people...Prue Halliwell, by one of the artists working on the comic book version. So I had an absolute fan girl moment and e-mailed the publishers and sent them one of those comments thingymajiggs to pretty please bring Prue back and guess what...They actually freaking responded and said that they have received lots if emails from fans asking to bring Prue back. I mean if anything I think they need to bring her back at least for Piper's sake. She never recovered from losing Prue and the chemistry between the sisters was definitely missing something that the first three seasons had. That does not heifer mean that I have no appreciation for Paige. I think they killed off the wrong sister, apparently creativity got canned and Phoebe's whorey-ness was decidedly the key focus to draw in viewers. None the less I do digress from that e-mail I sent Zenescope (yes that's how attached I get to things, even if the B-man said that attachment is something we need to get rid of as it is the cause of desire and fun things of the sort). Anyhoo after reading that message I was beaming with excitement and I definitely did have my internal squeals of joy. Yes things like this definitely make me happy, it may seem insignificant but I like finding my happiness where I can especially after the ridiculous start this year has taken so far.
Appreciating things like this brings on a different feeling of happiness than you get from doing other things that make you happy. It's almost as if you're saying your thank you'd to the creative part of your brain and you know you need your creativity to sometimes deal with those curve Allston life throws at you. Okay saying curveball sorta doesn't come easily to me because I am more of a cricket girl v/s baseball. So I guess I should rephrase that as googlies versus curvaceous or heck even flippers or doosras. Them flippers and doosras are tricky bastards to face. Right must focus on one thing at a time. Well I think this about covers my rant about Charmed, it has been one that I have had for a few years and that was re-triggered while I was watching a few episodes from the first three seasons. Well I guess I will have to bide my time and make do with those 3 seasons until Prue returns in the graphic world. I sincerely hope she returns as a permanent character, even though we did get a glimpse of the future in that series finale we also know that nothing goes the way it should or as is seen in the future. Prue's death sorta implies that dun' it? Well on that note I'm gonna take off now, and yes for those of y'all who have loved every season of this show watch out for the comics. Apparently every 6 issues is equivalent to an episode. I wonder if they will get Constance Burge to write an episode? I think that would be just an awesome way to pay homage to the creator of this idea/vision/idea.
Well I think I have done my fair share of ranting for the moment. Take care everyone and I hope things are working out for you guys more at this moment than they are for me. Take care of yerselves you minions from both flu like factors and mind boggling factors and so I bid ye farewell in true Charmed fashion...."Blessed Be"
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Greetings, Felicitiations and Merry New Year
So you know that old adage "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" or some such sweet nothings of the sort? Well it's kinda sorta true, or at least that's the way I feel about coming back here...it's been a while, I think the monstrosity of akademia took over my non existent life. Well and you know some monsters can be slayed, while others you just I guess learn to strike a balance with.
It's been a few tough days, but then again, busting your chops at the beginning of the year I hope is a good sign. Just keeps you working and striving harder for the rest of the year or sum'n like that. Regardless of all the downhill moments I've had so far I'd still like to think I have a hint of optimism left in me. None the less, I do hope you chumps had a fantastic New year or at least a fantastic time celebrating and ringing in the New Year. Mine was a very quaint and different affair, in years we actually rang the new year in with other folks, usually it's the familial unit chilling and ringing in that stroke of the midnight hour. Oh well I guess it's a sign from the universe to shake up my routine a little huh?
Now, this post has been under creation for a while, and I have good reasons for that as well. Things have been a bit rough these last few weeks, since ushering in the 2011 and all. I see people reaching out to do new things creatively, which makes me heave a slight sigh of relief 'cuz I'd like to believe that we all still have the power to create and bring into this world fresh ideas and approaches towards things. It's heart warming I guess, but while on that topic I really wish people would be like these fresh ideas as well. Unfortunately or fortunately you don't always get what you hope and wish for.
Okay I know this is pretty much common knowledge for everyone but in case you didn't notice, I tend to go off on a ramble 'bout friends and friendship and things of the sort when I get into the realm of people and changes and things of the sort. These last few weeks have been something close to disastrous but not so dramatic that I'd call it that, they've been extremely rough ones. They've been chipping away at my soul, my humanity, my conscience and definitely my temper. My anger has transcended the bursts of red to serene, blinding hot silver, sharp enough to cut through anything. Now I'm not the kind of person to stop the next person on the street and sob my heart out, firstly I'd be terribly embarassed and would rather crawl under a rock and disappear for good. I'm also not the person who will badger my friends to take a few minutes outta their lives to listen to my tale of woes, okay maybe I should ask them but I've got my reasons not to do so. Blame it on my childhood I guess, and if you're gonna be thinking 'oh yeah of course blame it on something else and don't take responsibility for your own actions and thought processes' then well hey you're entitled to do that. But to make your miserable thought process a lil' less miserable, I am blaming myself I just don't like being direct with things like that :P, I mean hell where's the suspense then?
None the less, like most things I digress, but I would like to think that when you're so connected with people on levels that transcend that of acquaintances then do you not have the basic courtesy of saying hey u a'ite there? Things don't seem too great with ya and you haven't quite been yourself is everything a'ite? Or did I just get switched into some fuckin' Bizzaro world where nobody really cares how anyone is doing but is just more concerned 'bout milking that cow for what it's worth and then sending it off to the meat packin' factory down the road for the execution and mechanical farewell? Oh hell yeah I'm gonna be spewing quite a bit of acid in this post so if you can't take a heavy dose of spewing 2 words for you mate, PISS OFF. Go do something constructive then. None the less, I must rant my fingers feel mega excited to rather leave imprints on the wall and ripping the concrete and cement and everything else the fuck apart but I'm trying to still stick to my 'Gandhian' ways of Ahimsa. Let's hope no human crosses my anger threshold today to suffer the consequences, I'm just hoping my gob doesn't decide to rack out some shellfire if that were to happen today. 'cuz while actions do leave lasting impressions words leave lasting imprints, forever branded in the depths of our memories. Anyway, getting back to the narrative going on here besides that of a very fitting description of the anger consuming me inside out, a few months ago friend of mine that I do consider family was in 'woe is me' mode where things seemed to fall apart 'cuz hey a relationship fell apart. So, me being the sucker for things tragic and weepy and apparently with a hero complex the 'heroine complex' I swooped in to be the shoulder. Mind you I was being a virtual shoulder to the salt water being shed, and I was spending all this time trying to be there and trying to help fix problems that were beyond my control and grasp. I guess I'll never learn to not be a sucker for stupid things like this. Call me heartless if you must but seriously a relationship beyond repair is not the end of the world, there are more things that need to be repaired and fixed in the world besides matters of the heart. Especially if it's matters of the heart that you're unwilling to compromise and meet someone halfway with, 'cuz heck if you and the other person know it's meant to be and there's nothing else to it then you WILL make it work, Plain and simple, but if you're complicating it up all for your own self that just shows that you clearly have plenty of time on your hands and that you'd rather spend time complicating your life rather than making sense out of it.
Okay before you relationshipped and packaged people pounce on me with your questions, the first answer is no I've never been in one and yes I can still talk 'bout it 'cuz I've seen enough. I actually do keep my eyes open, even if I do have visual problems, my eyes are ears tend to be open most of the time. So yeah I think I do know a thing or 2 about the subject, and trust me especially if you have seen that which I have seen oh fuck yeah you do know a thing or 2 about things. I'm no expert, actually nobody is, even if you are someone who has been in what 7 relationships in the last decade or so yeah no you aren't no expert. However, like I was saying, there's more than just fickle relationships to keep your eyes and ears open out there for. So like I was saying, my friend was down in the dumps and I was trying to check in and make sure things were okay and that they were progressing forward with their life despite the setback of the heart. I think that was another learning period for me, I learned how easy it is to shove the blame onto another friend if you know things weren't as rosy as they used to be or if you aren't as close to people as you used to be. And it's so much easier to do so when you do not make the effort to do so, and it's even easier to attach and tag labels on your friends. I'm not saying it is any one person's fault, friendship is a 2 way street like most things in life and both parties are responsible for the failure in communication. I kinda sorta got dragged into yet another thing that was not my problem to deal with, I have a very uncanny ability of being dragged into things, whether I want to be dragged into it or not. The worst thing to get dragged into however is the additional baggage category of friends, you know, the category where a friend doesn't want to meet another friend or puts off meeting a friend because there's this retarded notion of not being able to see them or do anything with them because there's been no time or yeah there's just no fucking good excuse you can come up with besides being a lazy slob who can't respect what you have. Jaesus, it amazes me how the world is filled with more people that fit this general, myriad description of a human being. No wonder the future seems so bleak, dull and gray to most people, and it's no surprise that optimism died a painful, horrible and gruesome death a while ago. What's worse is that the optimistic ones keep getting teh short end of the stick and squeezed into losing their optimism. If you can't handle optimism that's your problem, why not leave those that are trying to do something better for everyone alone and let them try and attempt at making things a lil' better. Does it not strike anyone that maybe people like being optimistic 'cuz that's the way they deal with their problems, maybe by seeing the light in someone else's eyes or the light in another situation actually gives them the hope and faith to face their fears and fight their battles and demons. But no, that's just ridiculous right? To let anyone else have that shot at happiness if you can't have it.
Anyway, while I was home for to celebrate a time of cheer, happiness, family and love I made sure I paid my respects to all those people and things that made me feel that way. I'm glad I got to meet the few people that are my family, spending even those few hours with them was the healing and energy I needed to keep that fire of determination and hope burning. It was a crazy ass hectic time but it was worth every ounce of it to just bask in the warmth of their love, understanding, company and smiles. And the metaphorical icing on the cake was the bubbling, giggling sound of my niece. Oh man if there was any therapy that could make a heart lighter and a soul brighter it would be that aura of innocence and purity of a child that washes over you. It heals many a crack and fissure in quite the chipped heart, reminds you of the fact that there are things in this world worth living for and heck worth dying for to protect. Anyway, I guess I was the fool to expect said friend to actually turn around and notice and give a shit 'bout things. I forget people like to be wrapped up in their own world. 'Welcome to the real world' you say? Well I guess you're about as disillusioned as the rest of us, what the hell happened to people actually standing up to this shit and not taking things like this? What happened to proving crap like this is redundant and there is something to actually look forward to? I don't think our future needs more bleakness than the media and news tends to cover. Stop looking for facades, hell stop making them in the first place. How far are your facades gonna take you? To that blurry horizon that you see as your future? Ya think? I mean honestly WAKE UP!!! Nothing ever goes the way you think it will, even if you have decided that you are the master of your future, fate and destiny 'cuz you aren't. Whether you like it or not, you really aren't, things are pre-ordained and the paths you take you can think you've beaten your destiny or whatever but you wouldn't be walking it if you weren't meant to walk it. You can keep thinking whatever it is that you keep thinking to make it through the day or night, but believe you me when I say life is and WILL throw a monkey wrench into all your well planned and carefully laid out plans. As much as I'd love to the be precocious arse who says 'I told you so' I take no pleasure in anyone's misery, even if it is someone that I cannot stand.
Well I think that's enough of a start to kick start this year of posts with. They may not be as frequent, or maybe they will be, who knows it's always too early to tell as far as these things are concerned. I hope the year ahead is one filled with insight and reflection for all of ya'll, there's a lotta strife going around in this world, and as much as we love shrugging our shoulders and say too bad it's happening or this can't be helped it was expected it's about time we stopped that shrugging. You know stop and turn around and see how you can help, help in any way, size, shape or format will always make a difference. It will change a life, if not the person you're trying to help out it will change yours. And there is nothing better than change to accept and grab by the horns 'cuz change is one of those guests that likes to call on you frequently whether you're ready for it or not. Cheers everyone and here's wishing you all the very best in everything for the upcoming year.
Song(s)of the day
Song: A Message
Band/Artist: Coldplay
Album: X&Y
Release Date: June 6, Circa 2005
Song: Missing
Band/Artist: Evanescence
Album: Anywhere but Home
Release Date: November 24, Circa 2004
It's been a few tough days, but then again, busting your chops at the beginning of the year I hope is a good sign. Just keeps you working and striving harder for the rest of the year or sum'n like that. Regardless of all the downhill moments I've had so far I'd still like to think I have a hint of optimism left in me. None the less, I do hope you chumps had a fantastic New year or at least a fantastic time celebrating and ringing in the New Year. Mine was a very quaint and different affair, in years we actually rang the new year in with other folks, usually it's the familial unit chilling and ringing in that stroke of the midnight hour. Oh well I guess it's a sign from the universe to shake up my routine a little huh?
Now, this post has been under creation for a while, and I have good reasons for that as well. Things have been a bit rough these last few weeks, since ushering in the 2011 and all. I see people reaching out to do new things creatively, which makes me heave a slight sigh of relief 'cuz I'd like to believe that we all still have the power to create and bring into this world fresh ideas and approaches towards things. It's heart warming I guess, but while on that topic I really wish people would be like these fresh ideas as well. Unfortunately or fortunately you don't always get what you hope and wish for.
Okay I know this is pretty much common knowledge for everyone but in case you didn't notice, I tend to go off on a ramble 'bout friends and friendship and things of the sort when I get into the realm of people and changes and things of the sort. These last few weeks have been something close to disastrous but not so dramatic that I'd call it that, they've been extremely rough ones. They've been chipping away at my soul, my humanity, my conscience and definitely my temper. My anger has transcended the bursts of red to serene, blinding hot silver, sharp enough to cut through anything. Now I'm not the kind of person to stop the next person on the street and sob my heart out, firstly I'd be terribly embarassed and would rather crawl under a rock and disappear for good. I'm also not the person who will badger my friends to take a few minutes outta their lives to listen to my tale of woes, okay maybe I should ask them but I've got my reasons not to do so. Blame it on my childhood I guess, and if you're gonna be thinking 'oh yeah of course blame it on something else and don't take responsibility for your own actions and thought processes' then well hey you're entitled to do that. But to make your miserable thought process a lil' less miserable, I am blaming myself I just don't like being direct with things like that :P, I mean hell where's the suspense then?
None the less, like most things I digress, but I would like to think that when you're so connected with people on levels that transcend that of acquaintances then do you not have the basic courtesy of saying hey u a'ite there? Things don't seem too great with ya and you haven't quite been yourself is everything a'ite? Or did I just get switched into some fuckin' Bizzaro world where nobody really cares how anyone is doing but is just more concerned 'bout milking that cow for what it's worth and then sending it off to the meat packin' factory down the road for the execution and mechanical farewell? Oh hell yeah I'm gonna be spewing quite a bit of acid in this post so if you can't take a heavy dose of spewing 2 words for you mate, PISS OFF. Go do something constructive then. None the less, I must rant my fingers feel mega excited to rather leave imprints on the wall and ripping the concrete and cement and everything else the fuck apart but I'm trying to still stick to my 'Gandhian' ways of Ahimsa. Let's hope no human crosses my anger threshold today to suffer the consequences, I'm just hoping my gob doesn't decide to rack out some shellfire if that were to happen today. 'cuz while actions do leave lasting impressions words leave lasting imprints, forever branded in the depths of our memories. Anyway, getting back to the narrative going on here besides that of a very fitting description of the anger consuming me inside out, a few months ago friend of mine that I do consider family was in 'woe is me' mode where things seemed to fall apart 'cuz hey a relationship fell apart. So, me being the sucker for things tragic and weepy and apparently with a hero complex
Okay before you relationshipped and packaged people pounce on me with your questions, the first answer is no I've never been in one and yes I can still talk 'bout it 'cuz I've seen enough. I actually do keep my eyes open, even if I do have visual problems, my eyes are ears tend to be open most of the time. So yeah I think I do know a thing or 2 about the subject, and trust me especially if you have seen that which I have seen oh fuck yeah you do know a thing or 2 about things. I'm no expert, actually nobody is, even if you are someone who has been in what 7 relationships in the last decade or so yeah no you aren't no expert. However, like I was saying, there's more than just fickle relationships to keep your eyes and ears open out there for. So like I was saying, my friend was down in the dumps and I was trying to check in and make sure things were okay and that they were progressing forward with their life despite the setback of the heart. I think that was another learning period for me, I learned how easy it is to shove the blame onto another friend if you know things weren't as rosy as they used to be or if you aren't as close to people as you used to be. And it's so much easier to do so when you do not make the effort to do so, and it's even easier to attach and tag labels on your friends. I'm not saying it is any one person's fault, friendship is a 2 way street like most things in life and both parties are responsible for the failure in communication. I kinda sorta got dragged into yet another thing that was not my problem to deal with, I have a very uncanny ability of being dragged into things, whether I want to be dragged into it or not. The worst thing to get dragged into however is the additional baggage category of friends, you know, the category where a friend doesn't want to meet another friend or puts off meeting a friend because there's this retarded notion of not being able to see them or do anything with them because there's been no time or yeah there's just no fucking good excuse you can come up with besides being a lazy slob who can't respect what you have. Jaesus, it amazes me how the world is filled with more people that fit this general, myriad description of a human being. No wonder the future seems so bleak, dull and gray to most people, and it's no surprise that optimism died a painful, horrible and gruesome death a while ago. What's worse is that the optimistic ones keep getting teh short end of the stick and squeezed into losing their optimism. If you can't handle optimism that's your problem, why not leave those that are trying to do something better for everyone alone and let them try and attempt at making things a lil' better. Does it not strike anyone that maybe people like being optimistic 'cuz that's the way they deal with their problems, maybe by seeing the light in someone else's eyes or the light in another situation actually gives them the hope and faith to face their fears and fight their battles and demons. But no, that's just ridiculous right? To let anyone else have that shot at happiness if you can't have it.
Anyway, while I was home for to celebrate a time of cheer, happiness, family and love I made sure I paid my respects to all those people and things that made me feel that way. I'm glad I got to meet the few people that are my family, spending even those few hours with them was the healing and energy I needed to keep that fire of determination and hope burning. It was a crazy ass hectic time but it was worth every ounce of it to just bask in the warmth of their love, understanding, company and smiles. And the metaphorical icing on the cake was the bubbling, giggling sound of my niece. Oh man if there was any therapy that could make a heart lighter and a soul brighter it would be that aura of innocence and purity of a child that washes over you. It heals many a crack and fissure in quite the chipped heart, reminds you of the fact that there are things in this world worth living for and heck worth dying for to protect. Anyway, I guess I was the fool to expect said friend to actually turn around and notice and give a shit 'bout things. I forget people like to be wrapped up in their own world. 'Welcome to the real world' you say? Well I guess you're about as disillusioned as the rest of us, what the hell happened to people actually standing up to this shit and not taking things like this? What happened to proving crap like this is redundant and there is something to actually look forward to? I don't think our future needs more bleakness than the media and news tends to cover. Stop looking for facades, hell stop making them in the first place. How far are your facades gonna take you? To that blurry horizon that you see as your future? Ya think? I mean honestly WAKE UP!!! Nothing ever goes the way you think it will, even if you have decided that you are the master of your future, fate and destiny 'cuz you aren't. Whether you like it or not, you really aren't, things are pre-ordained and the paths you take you can think you've beaten your destiny or whatever but you wouldn't be walking it if you weren't meant to walk it. You can keep thinking whatever it is that you keep thinking to make it through the day or night, but believe you me when I say life is and WILL throw a monkey wrench into all your well planned and carefully laid out plans. As much as I'd love to the be precocious arse who says 'I told you so' I take no pleasure in anyone's misery, even if it is someone that I cannot stand.
Well I think that's enough of a start to kick start this year of posts with. They may not be as frequent, or maybe they will be, who knows it's always too early to tell as far as these things are concerned. I hope the year ahead is one filled with insight and reflection for all of ya'll, there's a lotta strife going around in this world, and as much as we love shrugging our shoulders and say too bad it's happening or this can't be helped it was expected it's about time we stopped that shrugging. You know stop and turn around and see how you can help, help in any way, size, shape or format will always make a difference. It will change a life, if not the person you're trying to help out it will change yours. And there is nothing better than change to accept and grab by the horns 'cuz change is one of those guests that likes to call on you frequently whether you're ready for it or not. Cheers everyone and here's wishing you all the very best in everything for the upcoming year.
Song(s)of the day
Song: A Message
Band/Artist: Coldplay
Album: X&Y
Release Date: June 6, Circa 2005
Song: Missing
Band/Artist: Evanescence
Album: Anywhere but Home
Release Date: November 24, Circa 2004
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Remembrance and Deliverance.
The latest from my Thought Factory, lemme know what you guys think :)
Remembrance and Deliverance
I remember I remember,
Those cold harsh winters
of December.
With people and the world,
Running amok in happiness
and holiday cheer.
Putting aside differences,
Overlooking their fears.
Revisiting un-kept promises,
Reflecting upon unforeseen
consequences.
Vowing to be better,
Vowing to make changes.
Promising yet gentle,
Every demeanor, every
action;
Like the soft and gentle
snow flakes,
Falling to the ground,
Framing my window.
A reminder of all that
was built,
Of all that we had,
And of all that,
Which once is gone,
Can never come back.
While embracing the spirit
Of happiness, peace and unity,
Which brings us together.
We rush to forget however,
Scars, memories and wounds,
Stained, tattooed and branded
By the piercing, barbed,
Razor sharp blades of
difference.
Of hatred and discord.
We choose to forget,
Our past wrongs;
While searching for peace,
While looking for redemption.
Barely registering, nor
regarding,
The consequences of
our actions.
Forgetting the ease
With which it is,
That we sow the seeds
of disagreement,
Of unrest, of discord.
Forgetting the many
sacrifices,
Of life, love and home,
By those long forgotten
heroes
Who walked the treacherous
path
Towards, unity, togetherness
and hope.
The only memories of them,
Coming from faded
pictures,
And treasured photo frames.
Puffy, swollen and distant,
Red eyes…
Eyes filled with a hope,
An anticipation,
A simple expectation of
a miracle,
Only to be shattered by,
Crushing realization and
stark truths.
A realization...A hollowness
Magnified by those tear
tracks,
Appearing on many a weary
face.
With the realization of never
ever being whole.
Forgotten are they,
Like inconvenient truths;
In this jungle of facades,
Bonhomie and fake camaraderie.
In the midst of our yet to be made
Promises and vows,
And prayers for better days
and better lives,
Lets not forget those sacrifices,
Those struggles, those fights,
For peace, for unity,
And happiness unsurpassed.
Lest we take for granted,
Those precious lives whose time had
come to pass.
For they are beacons,
They are our strength,
And they are ultimately,
The very reasons,
If not the core motivation,
To do what’s right.
SJ
(Nov 12, 2010)
Remembrance and Deliverance
I remember I remember,
Those cold harsh winters
of December.
With people and the world,
Running amok in happiness
and holiday cheer.
Putting aside differences,
Overlooking their fears.
Revisiting un-kept promises,
Reflecting upon unforeseen
consequences.
Vowing to be better,
Vowing to make changes.
Promising yet gentle,
Every demeanor, every
action;
Like the soft and gentle
snow flakes,
Falling to the ground,
Framing my window.
A reminder of all that
was built,
Of all that we had,
And of all that,
Which once is gone,
Can never come back.
While embracing the spirit
Of happiness, peace and unity,
Which brings us together.
We rush to forget however,
Scars, memories and wounds,
Stained, tattooed and branded
By the piercing, barbed,
Razor sharp blades of
difference.
Of hatred and discord.
We choose to forget,
Our past wrongs;
While searching for peace,
While looking for redemption.
Barely registering, nor
regarding,
The consequences of
our actions.
Forgetting the ease
With which it is,
That we sow the seeds
of disagreement,
Of unrest, of discord.
Forgetting the many
sacrifices,
Of life, love and home,
By those long forgotten
heroes
Who walked the treacherous
path
Towards, unity, togetherness
and hope.
The only memories of them,
Coming from faded
pictures,
And treasured photo frames.
Puffy, swollen and distant,
Red eyes…
Eyes filled with a hope,
An anticipation,
A simple expectation of
a miracle,
Only to be shattered by,
Crushing realization and
stark truths.
A realization...A hollowness
Magnified by those tear
tracks,
Appearing on many a weary
face.
With the realization of never
ever being whole.
Forgotten are they,
Like inconvenient truths;
In this jungle of facades,
Bonhomie and fake camaraderie.
In the midst of our yet to be made
Promises and vows,
And prayers for better days
and better lives,
Lets not forget those sacrifices,
Those struggles, those fights,
For peace, for unity,
And happiness unsurpassed.
Lest we take for granted,
Those precious lives whose time had
come to pass.
For they are beacons,
They are our strength,
And they are ultimately,
The very reasons,
If not the core motivation,
To do what’s right.
SJ
(Nov 12, 2010)
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
The Thought Mart - This week's special...The Written Word !!
Hey guys n gals...hope all is well with ya'll. Yeah I know I got a bit of a drawl goin' back there, fun things that happen while you're trying to keep your brain in check. Anyway, I had a few thoughts zipping through my head, yes I know go on roll your eyes , about a few elements of that quirky thing called life. I know you've all heard that a person is defined by the sum of their actions or at least I hope some of you have heard of it, and for those of you who haven't well I guess you learned something new today and are waltzin' outta that cocoon of ignorance society revels in today. I mean hey if you don't know 'bout it then why bother right? Besides we have enough junk we gotta know so why should we bother about knowing and learning more right? None the less, I think that we are not just the sum total of our actions, but also the sum total of our sacrifices. Now that doesn't mean we should start keeping track of all that we sacrifice, I mean for some of us that's equivalent to giving up carbs for 2 months and for others it's giving up on all those wondrous dreams to live in this moment of reality. Now I ain't no accountant with the Bank of D&K but every sacrifice besides being another step in the refinement/extraction process of who we are, it has tremendous meaning and significance in the grander scheme of things.
Besides all this fun and fascinating talk 'bout sacrifices and actions, I was recently reminded of my other job as a mere mortal, that I actually forgot about and was pretty glad forgetting about....that of being a friend. Well its not a job to me per se but in a few cases it really does seem like it, that's how much the bond is respected if not cherished. But then again, I shouldn't have expectations, like my madre says my belief in people will be the death of me. But here's where my bone of contention lies, if you don't have faith or belief or rather hope in people, then what's the point in existing? We all live by the balance of hope and faith, whether we believe it or not, its one of those involuntary things. I mean before when I'd realize that nothing changed w.r.t some people I'd be pretty bummed out, I guess I've moved on along in life as well just as they have and I think I'm glad I feel indifferent 'bout it. Now I dunno if that means the next time there's a check in at heartbreak hotel if I'm gonna be available, but I do know this for a fact...they really aren't worth my salt and if experience has taught me nething it's this that they'd be the first deserters at the scene. So, ultimate moral of the story, make sure you turn to yourself first and then to your support system. Sound crappy? Well, too bad, it's useful 'cuz of the nature of the world we live in, it's so fast past paced and perhaps ultra demanding, not to forget competitive as well in that mix that sometimes heck most times our support systems will be involved in their own battles and their problems. I guess some people just don't deserve those many chances huh? And some people just won't change from their own self-absorbing ways, so much so that if they don't receive that 'normal' bite of attention then you know then the person not giving them that attention has turned into a egotistical, narcissistic, self absorbed twat. I mean forgive me if others have a life with real problems that don't go hoverin' around your life nor your wants and needs. So instead of sitting there and claiming and declaring them to be a reflection of yourself, get our arse off that high throne and try and be useful. Try and be that 'friend' that they seek comfort in rather than being the pop up ad that people get annoyed with. Try and be a part of people's lives rather than pushing them away when your quota of 'I have everything I need and then some' is fulfilled, and only going back to them when that dream pops like a soap bubble and you need to find your bearings. I mean honestly have we fallen so much that we don't value everything we have? And only choose to value a few things when the time is right? Next thing you know it'll be valued when the price is right *rolls eyes*, I mean hey it is a scary thought isn't it? To be evaluated by how much you are worth monetarily rather than what you're worth as a person. Perhaps it is my naivety that's bellowing itself out here, but hey that thought does make me sick.
Okay now I feel like that Ask Aunt Alice column from Young Times, for those of you who aren't familiar with Young Times, it used to be and I think still is, this magazine for kids that came once a week, I think Tuesdays, with the paper.
I had the randomest memory w.r.t Young Times the other day, while watching Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman. On one of the episodes they mentioned "Pen Pals" while that had a completely different connotation on the show, well it referred to cell mates and other convicts in prison, it reminded me of this section that the magazine used to have. It brought a smile to my face, 'cuz to me now the concept I guess seems so far fetched to think back to, especially in this day and age where everything is a clikkity clak away. That also reminded me of my English and Hindi classes where we learned how to write formal letters and how to start the letters and the differences between formal and informal letters and how to end those letters. It makes me wonder if this fast paced progress of ours has made us forget the art of writing. Writing goes far beyond being a skill or talent someone has or a gift someone has. It's the thing that brings all of us together, it binds us, our thoughts, dreams and visions. And the beauty of it all is that each and every one of us are blessed with it, we just don't exercise it enough I guess. Doesn't mean that everyone has to go write poetry or the next big novel/series of a lifetime, it just means don't ever consider yourself to be any lesser than anybody else, because everybody is different and brilliantly unique in their own way. It's just sad how we tend to lose focus on the brilliant and unique aspect and choose to instead focus on the different aspect of things. More than that we tend to use this 'difference' as a weapon and as a way to further segregate ourselves rather than as something to bring us together.
I remember last year in one of my classes, while the poor proff was droning on about amino acids I think, I wrote a poem in there and one of my colleagues/friends who read the poem said dude what the hell are you doing here? You should be doing something else, you'd be much better off spending your future writing than being here and enduring this painful nonsense. So when I responded by saying well yeah I will do it after this first journey is over, to which my colleague said 'You can't do both, you can only do one and I think you should be a writer and that this painful road is not worth it.' Maybe she had a point, maybe she didn't but see, I have a small glitch in my system, I'm the kinda person who doesn't like being relegated to one thing...my interests vary far and wide, and I personally believe that people should do whatever and everything it is that they wish to do. I'm not just saying this peepz, I don't say things I don't mean or don't do myself, in fact I'm sure my friends can attest to this attitude of mine. C'mon guys when was the last time I walked down the same old beaten path? and decided hey lets just do it this way :P. I mean heck if the G-man ain't stoppin' ya who are a few people to stop ya right?
Anyway guys, I gotta get back to more pressing issues happening back here on this fun filled journey of my future. To be honest while I do know what path I've set out on, I'm not quite sure what the end of this journey holds and whether this journey will take me to one of my biggest dreams, but hey what's life without wishing and hoping that it works out right? Thanks for riding the tour bus on this journey you guys, and I hope all is going well with all of ya!!! Good luck with everything you got coming your way this week and I hope you guys have a great week ahead!!!
Song(s) of the Day
Song: Afterglow
Singer/Band: INXS ft Sona
Album: Switch
Release Date: Circa, 2005
Song: The Animal Song
OST: The Other Sister
Album: Affirmation
Artist/Band: Savage Garden
Release Date: Circa, 1999
Besides all this fun and fascinating talk 'bout sacrifices and actions, I was recently reminded of my other job as a mere mortal, that I actually forgot about and was pretty glad forgetting about....that of being a friend. Well its not a job to me per se but in a few cases it really does seem like it, that's how much the bond is respected if not cherished. But then again, I shouldn't have expectations, like my madre says my belief in people will be the death of me. But here's where my bone of contention lies, if you don't have faith or belief or rather hope in people, then what's the point in existing? We all live by the balance of hope and faith, whether we believe it or not, its one of those involuntary things. I mean before when I'd realize that nothing changed w.r.t some people I'd be pretty bummed out, I guess I've moved on along in life as well just as they have and I think I'm glad I feel indifferent 'bout it. Now I dunno if that means the next time there's a check in at heartbreak hotel if I'm gonna be available, but I do know this for a fact...they really aren't worth my salt and if experience has taught me nething it's this that they'd be the first deserters at the scene. So, ultimate moral of the story, make sure you turn to yourself first and then to your support system. Sound crappy? Well, too bad, it's useful 'cuz of the nature of the world we live in, it's so fast past paced and perhaps ultra demanding, not to forget competitive as well in that mix that sometimes heck most times our support systems will be involved in their own battles and their problems. I guess some people just don't deserve those many chances huh? And some people just won't change from their own self-absorbing ways, so much so that if they don't receive that 'normal'
Okay now I feel like that Ask Aunt Alice column from Young Times, for those of you who aren't familiar with Young Times, it used to be and I think still is, this magazine for kids that came once a week, I think Tuesdays, with the paper.
I had the randomest memory w.r.t Young Times the other day, while watching Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman. On one of the episodes they mentioned "Pen Pals" while that had a completely different connotation on the show, well it referred to cell mates and other convicts in prison, it reminded me of this section that the magazine used to have. It brought a smile to my face, 'cuz to me now the concept I guess seems so far fetched to think back to, especially in this day and age where everything is a clikkity clak away. That also reminded me of my English and Hindi classes where we learned how to write formal letters and how to start the letters and the differences between formal and informal letters and how to end those letters. It makes me wonder if this fast paced progress of ours has made us forget the art of writing. Writing goes far beyond being a skill or talent someone has or a gift someone has. It's the thing that brings all of us together, it binds us, our thoughts, dreams and visions. And the beauty of it all is that each and every one of us are blessed with it, we just don't exercise it enough I guess. Doesn't mean that everyone has to go write poetry or the next big novel/series of a lifetime, it just means don't ever consider yourself to be any lesser than anybody else, because everybody is different and brilliantly unique in their own way. It's just sad how we tend to lose focus on the brilliant and unique aspect and choose to instead focus on the different aspect of things. More than that we tend to use this 'difference' as a weapon and as a way to further segregate ourselves rather than as something to bring us together.
I remember last year in one of my classes, while the poor proff was droning on about amino acids I think, I wrote a poem in there
Anyway guys, I gotta get back to more pressing issues happening back here on this fun filled journey of my future. To be honest while I do know what path I've set out on, I'm not quite sure what the end of this journey holds and whether this journey will take me to one of my biggest dreams, but hey what's life without wishing and hoping that it works out right? Thanks for riding the tour bus on this journey you guys, and I hope all is going well with all of ya!!! Good luck with everything you got coming your way this week and I hope you guys have a great week ahead!!!
Song(s) of the Day
Song: Afterglow
Singer/Band: INXS ft Sona
Album: Switch
Release Date: Circa, 2005
Song: The Animal Song
OST: The Other Sister
Album: Affirmation
Artist/Band: Savage Garden
Release Date: Circa, 1999
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)