Iris

Allo allo people! I'm back, yet again!...So...don't groan and roll your eyes...again. Apparently I've been bitten by a bug of sorts, that's causing me to process and produce words out on to my virtual canvas/slate, more often than I have in the recent past. Now this post isn't about that awesome and classic Goo Goo Dolls song titled 'Iris' but it definitely had a role to play with this composition. This post is actually a poem, well in all honesty it's a chapter to a story I've been working on. I'm not sure if you folks remember the post I had on here last year titled 'Numb' which was also a poem & chapter to that story. So without any further delay, I give you 'Iris-Through the Looking Glass' yet another installment of Bells & Whistles. Definitely lemme know what you guys think and have an awesome week up ahead!

Iris 

Chills…

Prickling chills.

Seeking their little
thrills,

Down my spine.

Down through my soul,

Wherein lay a void,

A big gaping hole…

A vice icy grip,

Around a heart;

That lay there…

Broken, shattered,

Crushed and scattered.

It lay around,

Waiting to be collected,

Or else dispersed
and blown…

Out there, into the
unknown.

Shrouding and clouding
my sanity;

Yet, the only welcome
reprieve,

During days so bleak.

Wherein neither heart,

Nor mind,

Had a voice of it’s own to
speak.

The only ember,

The only spark,

That breathed life…

A fire fanning itself,

Into a will…so broken by
defeat,

So overwhelmed, by
failure.

A spark that stoked the
fires,

Till they were raging;

Seeking and screaming!

To fight back!

To never accept defeat.

To reclaim once again,

What once was,

What once belonged.

And to once again,

Walk the path of that road,

Which was meant to be,

And best meant for me.

SJ

Oh and one more thing! Yes copyright conundrums and all, I don't own the pix that I upload on here...I don't have those fancy shutterbug skills yet, so please don't get yer knickers in a knot for use of images. Thank you original creator of these wonderful visual aids/pix for enhancing the personality of my posts.

Cue Card Confessions - The Wave...

Hey guys and gals, it's been a few days since I spread some verbal carnage in the virtual world, so here I am :D. Well actually I wanted to present a lil' bit of a special sum'n I'm working on, well the title of this post pretty much is the title of this new project I'm embarking on. People who know me know my tendency to go crazy in the head space with things I think of. I guess this is just my brain's way of saying it ain't happy with the stimulation it receives. None the less, it's been a stressful and crazy few weeks...I'd go into details about it, but, if I do then I might say a lot of unparliamentry things that I could've avoided saying....it sucks when you're your own censor board...you kinda sorta bleep everything...*sigh, smacks head*....None the less this new project in a way is a challenge for me, since I have a habit of writing long ass poems, so this in a way is a way for me was challenging. My inspiration was my lil' stack of cue cards, that at the moment is kinda sorta scattered all over the place. If anything I hope this is something that grows at least for a little bit, I don't envision much but it's fun when you think of a project and go with the flow and see how far you can go with it. Feedback of any form, shape, size and format is greatly appreciated so go crazy and leave a lil' sum'n in that comments section down below folks, if nething I can give you plenty of virtual cookies :P. Here goes nothing :)....enjoy!

Installment #1 - The Wave

I sit here,

In my corner,

In my place,

Questioning

Oh unanswerable
fate.

Pondering life’s

Twists and turns
off late.

Pens and pencils,

At the ready,

To rewrite,

Re-draw,

All and everything,

On a clean slate.

Whispers and words
Of encouragement,

Making their way;

Ever so gently…

Like soft, lapping
waves,

Amidst the turbulent
undercurrent,

Of despair and hurt,

Residing and
rampaging,

The ground beneath
My feet.

Hold up…hold on…

They say.

Giving up, letting down,

Ain’t the way,

They say.

Let me be your anchor,

Your buoy, they say;

Take my hand!

They say,

Akin to a plea…

A prayer.

Follow my lead,

They say;

Let’s swim ashore,

They say.

A'ite peepz, time for me to go crack the akademia nut, hope all is well with all of you. Wishing all you awesome people only the very best that there is 'cuz you guys deserve it. A'ite I'm off to not only crack the akademia nut but to ponder my next problem....replacement headphones....I HATE it when my headphones die their miserable death...sigh oh well, out with the old in with the new. Must find a way to maintain the peace and equilibrium quotient I oh so selfishly gain from my muzeeekkk!! Right well then kids, I'm off, have a fantastic week and weekend and g'luck for any upcoming Herculean tasks coming your way!

Thirteenth Step

Hey guys and gals...I know I usually just ramble off a really long essay about various things and various permutations and combinations of things causing those various things. It's a vicious cycle of opinions :P...none the less today what I'm about to post is not gonna b an opinion based essay....it's actually going to be a lil' something I created on the eve of a very special day to me. Be forewarned that the following piece is a poem, so for those of you a lil' aversive towards poetry stay away or go read or do something that makes your senses tingle with anticipation and excitement...otherwise check this out and I would really appreciate some feedback :). So be kind and leave a msg down below :D, thunkers and have yourselves a good weekend folks.There will be a post following this, probably some time o'er the weekend, but this is what I have for now, so when you're done reading don't be shy to leave feedback folks...haven't you heard? Feedback is good for the soul :). Thanks for sticking around thus far on this insane ride/journey :), hopefully the wheels keep turning on here for a while before this particular train is outta juice and service...take care peepz!

The Thirteenth Step

Step 1…you take a step
You take a breath,
And you make your
presence felt.
No inhibitions,
Actions of innocence;
An aura of purity felt.
Living life at it’s most
genuine,
And honest best.
Until Step 2 comes around.
Wobbly, shaky,
Hesitant…resistant,
You take your step
anyway.
Moving forward,
Swaying backward,
Shutting your eyes,
While skipping ahead;
CRASH…BOOM
Things falling apart,
The first layers of
An untainted innocence
shed.
Garnished with them
pearly tears,
Learning about
That good old myth
called fear;
Savoring, better yet,

Tasting that very first
Dose of reality…
Confused, bedazzled,
You keep looking ahead.
Not knowing to,

Nor wanting to,
But out of compulsion,
Out of being told to
do so.
Being cajoled into
learning that
Oh so mighty lesson
of bravery.
You know the one,

You’ve heard it before…

The one they call a true
friend,

The one they consider
To be nothing short of
a devastating blow
To many a foe…
Or so you are told,

So you are taught;
Nodding your young
innocent head,

Confused…bewildered,

And wiping away,
The rest of your tears,

You set foot
Onwards to Step 3.

A little less confused,

A little less dazed,

Though life still passes
you by in a haze.

Shedding those layers
Of naivety and purity,
Without realizing,

Without seeing,

You move along,
You carry on…

Trudging…some days,

Racing ahead on any
other given day.

Faster than the gusty
wind,

Racing along with you
With that spirit,
That need, the urge
To grow up faster,

To grow taller faster,

Learn sooner,

Leave earlier,

Live dreams sooner;

And before you know it,
The blink of an eye,

Snap of a finger,

The world you live in,
Comes crashing down,

Up ahead atop your head.

Stuck, broken,

You scream out…

In confusion, agony, pain,

Where did I go wrong?

You question, you ask.

Don’t give up!

You hear the voices
in your head,

Repeating and whispering
unto your self.
Rise above!!
You hear them cheer
you on.
Memories of your long
time friend bravery,

Resurfacing, and,
Finding their way back
to you.

Serving to be the epitome
of loyalty
And all things a friend
should be.
You choke on your tears,

Broken by your fears;
You look up,
To that unknown
ethereal power.
Your angry tears,

Blazing their trails,

Fuelling that fire,

Burning deep inside…

You question, you stare,
You glare…you shatter.

And out of the blue,

You feel a warmth,
Surround you…

Embrace you...blanket
you…

Whispering words of
comfort,
Humming sounds of
hope.
Until…there it is…

That little crack of light,
That little sliver of
hope,

Making it’s presence
felt.

Giving you the strength,

To pick yourself up,

And march onwards,

To Step 4.

Away, away,

You keep walking,

Onward towards

Step 4.

Pondering a way,

To not let the darkness
consume you whole.

You stop a while,

And revisit,

Those lessons of a
time passed.

Memories renewed,

Victories re-savored,

Defeats re-lived,

They jolt you to life.

Suddenly the path
ahead,

Doesn’t seem as scary
anymore.

Those doubts of yours,

Don’t question you
anymore…

You take a big, deep
breath,

You step ahead,

And dive and plunge
on,

Off towards Step number
5.

They say confession is
good for the soul.

What they never say,

Is whose soul,

Feels the coolness,

Or the gentleness
Of that balm of peace,
clarity and serenity.
What they never say,

Is how twisted,

Or wicked,

A soul can be.

To use your pain against
you.

To revel…
In the brutality and
cruelty,

Of crushing yours,
Into infinitely, tiny
pieces.
Neither hindered by
consequences,

Nor perturbed by the
turning hands of time;

Confessed, tried,
Tired and emptied…

You keep walking on,

Head held high,

You stride on,

Off to Step 6 you go.

You find yourself
in a cycle…

Confused, it makes you
wonder,
Makes you contemplate,
and acknowledge,

Those little pranksters,

Consequence, and,
awareness.

You reflect…you ponder,

And then…

It hits you!

Life isn’t about,

Being a bed of roses,

Nor is it

The fiery furnace of hell.

You…like the way of life,

Need both your paradise,

And your hell,

So as to learn, live and
lead.

You realize,

Without chaos,

There is no order.

You learn the simple,

Yet ultimate truth
Of acceptance.

Lesson learned,

Wisdom secured,

You walk ahead.

Filled with a renewed
Sense of humility,

On towards Step 9 you
go.

At Step 9,

You stop…you pause,

And take a look back;

At how far you’ve
traveled,

And wonder

Just how much further
You, have yet to go.

You look back,

At good times had,

At bad times,

You wished never
happened.

You heave a sigh,

Wishing you could
turn back time,
Right your wrongs,

Take away the painful
memories;

Swearing never to

do that ever again.

With your new found
companion Repentance,

You walk together,

Up ahead on that path,

That leads to Step 10.

With promises,

And vows,

Of righting

All those wrongs you
once caused.

Like someone on a
mission,

You march forward,

With promises to keep,

And a conscience to
ease.

At Step 10,

You wait a while,

You find a need
to linger.

To remember,

All you lost,

Yet all that you gained.

Paths walked…
And paths you strayed
away from.
Shaking your head,

At your follies,

Cracking a smile
at your naivety,

You walk on towards
Step 11.

A twang of regret,

Making it’s way
through,

Regretting the loss,

Of an age of innocence,

Of purity…of naivety;

To a world we lost…

At Step 11,

You meet your long lost
friend,

Well forgotten enemy,

Reflection;

A reminder of,

Things you did,

And secrets you hid.

You wonder…you
question,

Whether or If

You could make a
difference.

Questions swirling,

Doubts twirling,

You tread lightly,

Towards Step 12.

At Step 12,

You befriend,

Your long lost friend…
The one piece,

Of that puzzle
you call life;

You meet Redemption,

Hand shaken,

You embrace each other,
Whispering solemnly,

Of sights seen,
Lessons learned,

And ultimately,

You bring up

Your quest for salvation;

From demons,

Too many to scare away,

From ghosts of past,

That have worn you
down to the bone.

To save those,

From the pitfalls,

You once had.

Hand in hand,

Taking almost full
command,

Of this darned thing
called life,

You walk forward,

Boldly, bravely…

With a confidence
anew,

Up, up and away,

You say,

On to Step 13,

Let’s make our way.

At Step 13,

You wonder…

Is this salvation?

Or is my salvation,

The lessons I lived
through,

All those 12 steps ago?

You smile a small,

Yet whole-hearted
smile,

With the knowledge,
Of your salvation

Being the journey you
traveled.

And at Step 13,

You meet the oldest,

Yet closest friend of
all,

The mighty friend we
call Wisdom.

A sense of peace…

Of tranquility,

Seeps through your
pores.

A feeling you never
felt before…

And you finally see,
and feel,

The warmth of that light

You once saw…

That tiny sliver,

That found it’s way,

Into the abyss,

You once fell into.

With a sense of fulfillment,

You savor the light.

Bathing you in it’s
radiance,

You realize then,

How your life,

Has come full circle.

You realize,

You, are your own
cause and effect.

With a realization so
profound,

You set off on a new
journey.

A new path you build,
You create…you walk

To share your

Treasures of wisdom,

And wealth of knowledge.

No longer ignorant,

You walk ahead,

Not with a trace of
hesitation,

Nor overconfidence,

But, with a sense of
purpose,

And a sense of being
one,

Not just with one’s
self,

But also,

With all that around
us,

And all that surrounds
us.

(SJ, April 12, 2011)

Remembrance and Deliverance.

The latest from my Thought Factory, lemme know what you guys think :)

Remembrance and Deliverance

I remember I remember,
Those cold harsh winters
of December.
With people and the world,
Running amok in happiness
and holiday cheer.
Putting aside differences,
Overlooking their fears.
Revisiting un-kept promises,
Reflecting upon unforeseen
consequences.
Vowing to be better,
Vowing to make changes.
Promising yet gentle,
Every demeanor, every
action;
Like the soft and gentle
snow flakes,
Falling to the ground,
Framing my window.
A reminder of all that
was built,
Of all that we had,
And of all that,
Which once is gone,
Can never come back.
While embracing the spirit
Of happiness, peace and unity,
Which brings us together.
We rush to forget however,
Scars, memories and wounds,
Stained, tattooed and branded
By the piercing, barbed,
Razor sharp blades of
difference.
Of hatred and discord.
We choose to forget,
Our past wrongs;
While searching for peace,
While looking for redemption.
Barely registering, nor
regarding,
The consequences of
our actions.
Forgetting the ease
With which it is,
That we sow the seeds
of disagreement,
Of unrest, of discord.
Forgetting the many
sacrifices,
Of life, love and home,
By those long forgotten
heroes
Who walked the treacherous
path
Towards, unity, togetherness
and hope.
The only memories of them,
Coming from faded
pictures,
And treasured photo frames.
Puffy, swollen and distant,
Red eyes…
Eyes filled with a hope,
An anticipation,
A simple expectation of
a miracle,
Only to be shattered by,
Crushing realization and
stark truths.
A realization...A hollowness
Magnified by those tear
tracks,
Appearing on many a weary
face.
With the realization of never
ever being whole.
Forgotten are they,
Like inconvenient truths;
In this jungle of facades,
Bonhomie and fake camaraderie.
In the midst of our yet to be made
Promises and vows,
And prayers for better days
and better lives,
Lets not forget those sacrifices,
Those struggles, those fights,
For peace, for unity,
And happiness unsurpassed.
Lest we take for granted,
Those precious lives whose time had
come to pass.
For they are beacons,
They are our strength,
And they are ultimately,
The very reasons,
If not the core motivation,
To do what’s right.

SJ
(Nov 12, 2010)

Intermission

You know I just realized, this is the 2nd one in a row with a title that starts with an I, well I'm not pulling a K-Jo that's for sure, if I was then all them titles would start with a K. None the less as always the one thing that I can say for sure that's a constant with me is my ability to digress, so lemme get to the point and make your lives a lil' less confusing than the confusion that it already is. Well I decided I'd finally post up one of my poems on here, I'm a lil' skeptical 'bout posting my stuff, well no silly not my opinions that I'm very liberal 'bout posting :P, but my personal written work eh I'm just a tad skeptical, there's that whole plagiarism thing that looms about....Anywhoo, please do check it out and do leave some feedback, I personally am of the belief that my poetry skills with time have depreciated severely but hey everyone is entitled to their own opinion right? Well have fun reading, and if you don't have fun remember the following words.."It was a choice you weren't forced into reading it." :P. A'ite peepz, good luck with everything you're all dealing with at the moment and I hope you all is going well with you guys. Until next time...cheers!

The Downpour

The drops of rain,
Outside falling;
Matching the beats of
my heart,
Beating together,
Beating fast
Tip tip...dlub dlub...
Hand in hand,
Beat to beat,
In synchronicity,
Between thoughts so
many;
Yet so far apart.
Thoughts of reality,
Thoughts of what the
heart sometimes wants;
Thoughts living an
alternate yet parallel
life,
Alongside this current
realm of existence
I thrive in.
Thoughts questioning,
The actions and intentions
of humankind.
Thoughts of betrayal,
Thoughts of how time,
love, conviction and naivety;
Made me the fool,
And mocked my values.
Thoughts and doubts,
Of how the current journey
I'm embarking,
The current path I'm
walking,
Shall bring me any closer
to my visions?
The visions that fuel
my drive;
Visions that have been
labeled foolish by some,
Idealistic by some more,
And that leave most others
speechless.
But not out of awe or
wonder,
But out of uncertainty
and doubt.
Visions which to me,
Are my lifeline;
Are the balms to my wounds.
The comfort to crippling
memories.
The mirror whose reflection,
Can fix someone as broken
as me.
My beacon, my lighthouse,
My watchtower;
That steers me through
stormy and dreary times.
All these thoughts,
And then some;
Dancing...pulsing fiercely,
And passionately.
Keeping pace and tempo to
The beats of my heart.
Faster and faster,
Till they explode;
Thoughts spinning,
Mind reeling.
Slower and slower,
Like gentle breezes,
And tame waves.
Licking and lapping
playfully,
At everything within
it's grasp.
Like the gentle tapping
Of those rain drops.
Against tiles, windows,
And broken souls.
Seeping with life,
comfort and
A message of peace,
And reassurance.
So brief...yet so strong;
So powerful and so
full of clarity,
That it makes the
Journey looming ahead,
Seem less dreary,
Less daunting, less scary,
less gloomy.
Allowing it to be instead,
A journey more endearing,
More adventurous, worthwhile
and enlightening;
Than any traveled before.

SJ (June 1, 2010)

Well I did write it day before yesterday lol. A'ite folks, well there's my few cents of whatever it is that I have up there. Peace out, stay safe and do yourselves a favor and have fun!

That ol' thing called O to-the-pinion

Well I guess today's the day the writer in me is going in overdrive..but I just had this thought while listening to this song...well I wouldn't have listened to this song if it wasn't for the show Lie To Me...so the pilot episode of Lie To Me I thank you for your excellent choice of music for that episode, in particular the end of the episode, in my honest and humble opinion I think the song is just apt for the content and context of the show. So yeah, don't worry kids you'll know what I was listening, just tune in to the end of the post. I guess it's time for me to go back to being pensive...not bitter but a lil' battered from the amusing things and games life tends to play on us. What's happening now...I would never have imagined something like that happening a few years ago. I guess some people just aren't cut out the way you cut 'em out to be. Which when I think 'bout just makes me hope and pray that I don't turn out to be the bitter disappointment and utter contradiction to someone's opinion 'bout me...and by someone I mean people that are close to me. It's hard to say what the future has to bring, but I hope the future doesn't make me the one who brings on the disappointment, well not like I haven't a'ready had a tryst with that aspect of life, but still something like this is definitely much bigger and much more heart achey and heart breaking. It's like watching a glass you don't even touch crack and shatter to smithereens in front of ya...it's surprising and the shards of glass can cut and cause you to bleed.

I guess this is the price you pay for being human, and I guess unless you venture into those realms/aspects of being a mortal being you never really know what kinda person you are or can be. It sorta kinda reminds me of the whole 'When a butterfly flaps it's wings on one side of the world an earthquake occurs on the other' or sum'n along those lines. While you yourself or someone else close to you falls in your eyes, 'cuz trust me you can fall in your own eyes, but before I transition into that area I think I'd like to finish this one up. Where one falls in someone else's eyes another comes up to catch the fallen and rises, and ultimately it makes one wise...or so one would hope. In that case that ain't me at all, I keep depreciating in that wisdom department lol.

Anyway, enough muckin' 'round, I've been having words stuck in my head...well more like words in sentences. So far what I have below has been in my head for a lil' bit, it feels like lyrics to a song, at least the words feel that way but I'm not a song writer...these words I dunno they feel like they belong to something. Maybe I should use 'em and write a poem on Ignorance eh? Whaddaya think?


Surrounded by silver, blinded by gold
I guess what they say is true then
All that glitters ain't jus' silver nor gold


I'm sure I'll figure something glittery to accompany it. A'ite folks, sorry for the delayed posting, life kinda caught up to me in different directions that it had me sit on my stability ball and stop and stare at everything around and wonder where in the midst of the cosmic flow it is that I find myself in. So far I haven't figured that one out, but there's been some interesting music that's popped by as well as some even more interesting tv shows. This post feels a tad too stale, 'cuz that's how long it was open on my mozilla tab listing. A couple reboots, a couple projects, a lot more thoughts, and not very many reflections or deflections later I guess I'm here to crudely wrap it up and move on from here. Time can't always stop and stand still for you right? Regardless of where you decide you want time to stop for you, ultimately it'll stop when it thinks it's the right time to do so. Until then *tick tock tick tock, goes that busy lil' chirpy clock, no time to dock yet still, sturdy, cool, impassive and unmove-able like a rock." Cheers all hope you have a smashin' weekend ahead and good luck with all things coming your way :).

Song(s) through the days

Song: Easier To Lie
Artist/Band: Aqualung
Album: Strange and Beautiful
Release Date: Circa, 2005

Song: Move Along
Artist/Band: The All American Rejects
Album: Move Along
Release Date: Circa, 2006

Song: Wonderwall
Artist/Band: Oasis
Album: (What's the Story) Morning Glory?
Release Date: 1995