The Convenience Factor & Observations

One of the most underrated, overlooked and overexploited attributes we live with these days is that of convenience. We conveniently forget our beginnings/roots, our friends, our principles, our values, our duties and who we are as people in an attempt to fit in, stand out, or achieve the highest pinnacle of what we consider to be success. Call me naive, a fool or even a tool, but you know it's true, and it's this convenience factor that annoys the crap outta me.

Well I'm sure that the word originally came into being to explain that which makes things easier for us, and perhaps was meant to be applied to inanimate things...Guess now it's become a way of life that applies to both the animate and inanimate sectors of life. It's sad really as to how all things that start with good intentions manage to get modified into twisted extensions of what they were originally meant to be. What gets me more is how after a while we all sit there and accept it without batting an eyelid. Saying this also doesn't mean I'm the epitome of perfection and don't overuse or abuse this convenience factor. Saying that would just make me a ruddy hypocrite now won't it? Which is something I cannot deny either...let's face it everyone in today's day and age is a hypocrite, whether they choose to publicly announce it or live with it with a strong sense of denial.

Let me elucidate just what I mean by this whole convenience factor thing I'm talking about. For instance, I find it highly insulting when people conveniently remember that I have a few (and by few I mean very few) writing skills, especially when they need help figuring out what to write for a report, letter, card, etc...you know all that crap that needs words in there. But then when I want to get an opinion on what people think of something I've written I get this 'Oh send it I'll read it and get back to you' (and they never do) response or, 'Oh yeah I don't like reading stuff much' response. Well hows about next time you have shit to write, you figure it out for yourself then? I'm sure you have a remarkable brain that can figure out how to string a few words together into sentences, 'cuz after-all isn't that your summarized version of what I do? Things in life are a 2 way street people, you need to understand that, or I need to understand that people don't deserve even a fraction of a second of my time, concern or attention as far as their lives are concerned. Just to make it clear, NO I'm not out here trying to push my writing skills, I mean think about it. If I decided to push my skills then trust me it wouldn't be a mere push, it would be a freaking shove and I'd be screaming myself hoarse from every bleeding rooftop. Clearly *sigh* I just needed to air out a few thoughts, opinions, observations and concerns.

This post isn't about evoking some latent or dormant sense of promoting world peace or unity or wonderful schnazz of the sort. If that were the point then I would be working for the UN and I wouldn't be busting my chops oceans away from home for a dream that I'm trying my damndest best to fulfill. The months away from home have brought a few things into focus, and pushed a few things out of focus as well, hence causing the blurred vision and all that jazz. Being away from home gives you a sense of things, it lets you nurture your perspective about the world that's out there, and about the people that live in that world. I know pieces of who I was have chipped away, there's things that I've lost that I can't ever regain. But a loss is not necessarily a bad thing, it's a survival and defense mechanism that slips into place anytime and every single time you encounter something out of your comfort zone. Actually being away has given me an idea of what I may perceive and perhaps want home to be. In fact, every single time I've headed home for a break, there's always been a moment where I see a shift in how I perceive my surroundings...Every time there's just that lil' extra feeling of feeling like a stranger, an outsider, a guest...like somebody who doesn't belong. They aren't in your face changes, it's always the subtle things that pop up and remind you of those changes.

I guess this journey away from home was a required class in the Life program. There's a few things I do know that I don't want attached to my life tag. I don't want to be the sucker who has to deal with all the emotional BS some people go through 'cuz they can't get their act and shit together, even if they themselves know that the BS they're talking about is absolutely ridiculous. I can't be the last person on your list of friends who gets to be used as your first choice when ludicrousness and stupidity is involved...well I would give a damn and would be involved if the same courtesies were extended this way as well. So thank you for the shut eye, plugged ear sessions, where I might as well have spoken to a wall and received the same answers that I received from you. I know I'm an ungrateful fiend, but fudgecakes and fishsticks, I don't care! (You probably might need a lotta minties after that though...I'm just saying, just in case you decided to dip those fishsticks in some garlic sauce or something)

Well in other notes and sidelines...having more than 1 blog is a rather interesting experience. Seeing how I'm trying to keep the focus strictly streamlined to my writing/creative process with my other blog, it's a little difficult sometimes, 'cuz we all know how I get carried away. Heck I proofread those posts the way I used to proofread my term papers :S....which is kinda cool 'cuz sometimes I can clearly see how the segue has nothing to do with the topic at hand. It's been entertaining trying to edit the flow of thoughts generated by brain, somedays it's super hyperactive 'cuz it has ideas for both blogs...however that hyperactivity seems to kick in most, around exam time...which kinda is a bummer. None the less there are a few projects I'm contemplating working on, and it should be interesting to see how they turn out, well depending on if they ever do. At the moment though, working on both blogs feels like I have a dual personality, so while working on 1 I'm consciously editing out anything that might be more pertinent to the other one. I wouldn't be surprised if I wound up being diagnosed with schizophrenia or dissociative identity disorder one of these days.

Well on that note people, have yourselves a wonderful weekend and have a fun time recharging for the week ahead. The next time you interact with someone, try and be genuine in your interactions and try not to think of them as a means to an end....we all are human after all and we have that thing that the mesolimbic system heads up called emotions that tend to get in the way. Yeah and when that crappy thing called emotions gets in the way it's a real pain in the arse 'cuz it makes you think, evaluate, re-evaluate, ponder, reflect and go outta your mind. Don't do that to yourself; save yourself the trouble and try and add essence of genuinity in the way you conduct yourself...and making people feel like a convenience rather than someone worthy of your time and attention gives rise to some serious self-image, self-esteem and self-respect issues. Now that's something you do not want future generations to learn from us, the worst fatalities of such issues are children, and the earlier they start having these self-esteem issues the harder it gets for them to deal with obstacles and challenges that life serves up. To be one with the world, you gotta find if not create that one connection that will allow the world to sync with you...so either find it or create it.

Staccato

These past few days, there have been countless things that have been competing and racing for a spot as far as my attention is concerned, just so that I can channel and focus in on one of 'em and write an elaborate post 'bout the winning thought. Unfortunately, my brain patterns have been very much like the title of this post...well actually that's not a very unfortunate thing, but you know after a while all you hear or rather sense are short bursts of sharp thoughts that have no musical tone whatsoever. Every time I've sat down to dish out something to post on here all I get is a collective piece of staccato notes expressing themselves, and sounding rather dissonant at times.

The past few weeks have zoomed by so fast, that now when I sit down to try and think back to what it was my heart was set on to write about, I can't seem to remember any of them. I attribute this to a general sense of laziness and perhaps a lack of interest in the world and people around and next to me, that seems to have crept up on me. Actually after finishing up my 2nd story (which still needs a little tweaking, there's a little something missing that I haven't had the heart to churn up just yet) I felt perhaps it was the best time to step away from writing. Writing is an art form for those with visions and dreams that can be expressed and delivered in the simplest of hands without the complexity of diction. And me? Well simplicity hasn't exactly been my cuppa tea or coffee, I can't even express the simple action of someone walking out the door exactly as that, it always needs a little more dressing than necessary. But it's been a fun ride so far, so I guess who knows what happens next. I was gonna say maybe next year I'll change my opinion 'bout writing and I might invade the writing pad with a barrage of words...but then again the new year has just a few more days left to go.

It's been a good time, a fortunate time and a thankful one at that as well. The upcoming year is one with definitely a lot of changes, it's just one of those things you can sense in the ether, so all I have to say is look forward to grabbing things by the horns or get outta the way if it seems to be charging towards you at a pace you can't compute or handle...I mean think about it logically, if there's a raging, charging bull coming at you would you stand in front of it and say 'Gee I'm gonna grab it's horns and jump on it's back' or are you gonna get outta the way 'cuz you love your life way too much and doing anything else is just plain stupid? There's a lot of stuff that's made me reflect and internalize things a little too much, internalization is something that I really have to stop doing. Nobody internalizes as much, at least not to the extent I do. It's good at times, but at other times it eats away at you so much, that in a few years time you will turn out like an apple core. You won't even realize how it happened or when it happened, all you'll become is that disjointed browning core. It's a real pain in the arse too because nobody else cares nor is bothered to know what you discovered about yourself, and by the time you finish and come to that epiphany about yourself your brain doesn't care either. It snorts and says 'I told you so'...internalize so as to keep your own self true to yourself, not otherwise, or else you'll turn into your own worst nightmare.

Oh and another epic conclusion for the year would be, the world really is filled with billions of ignorant people, who hold on to notions and conclusions passed down from generations and don't really care to look around and soak up a little more about the world around them. I could do a continent by continent analysis but there are a few I haven't been to yet...but the other ones I've been to I can summarize. But then what's the point? It's not like people are going to start changing the way they see things or approach things. The only time anyone thinks or feels others are ignorant is when they have been affronted on a personal level. It really irritates me how little people know about the world we live in, and knowing the little that they do know how they make complete asses and fools of themselves by trying to glorify their knowledge by stating all the wrong things and thinking nobody else knows what they're talking about. Given this day and age you would think people would know better than to state things without double checking with 'Google' right?

Well not everything has been so disappointing, did I mention how I have finished 2 stories??!! I mean it's a whole 2 stories! That's never happened before, so in a way I guess I can still surprise myself :D. Other than that I've got this internal craving to read up on Indian History, my knowledge on the subject seems to be diminishing and going away from me. There are some things in life that we abhor at a young age because we're forced to go through the motions and learn things...but then with time an interest is culminated and the spark of curiosity ignites the fire of thirst for knowledge. That's when you genuinely get interested in wanting to know what actually happened and wanting to know how things came to be. Off late I've been wanting to get my hands on some poetry, maybe philosophy and definitely world history. Well pretty much get my hands on a book, yes e-books are available and all but I'm a huge fan of the old school way of having a book in your hand, where you can turn the pages and enjoy if not savour every delectable word on every page. It's just something beautiful in it's own way. Upon expressing this desire to my folks the response was, you don't have time to read other useless things, just read the books you need to for school...*sigh*...of course, being the rebel I am, there was a defiant 'NO' that emanated from within and was expressed. All I got in response to that was a few tuts and 'tsk tsks' and amusing laughs at my defiance. Their support of the rebel is always so amusing and entertaining lol.

In addition to being writer extraordinaire and all of that, other great and wonderful things that happened included heart warming reunions with people I cherish, getting news that makes your whole world spin outta excitement and happiness (yesss!!! this was definitely the news I wasn't anticipating but it's the best thing I could've heard in all these months :)...so keeping my fingers and toes crossed) and I think finally getting a handle on being the 3 AM friend. I can't believe I wasted my time listening to some boring drama that I could've read up elsewhere or watched elsewhere and figured out, next time don't worry I have a solution for your problem...'I'm sleepy and tired find someone else to talk to' OR 'I know the number for this great & awesome person who charges by the hour and session to listen, analyze and give you perfect advice and I'm not sure if OHIP covers it, but make sure you get a referral via your family physician!' This one way street of friendship just found it's 'Dead end' and termination zone. I have problems and concerns of my own that may just bury me alive while I'm walking and working through 'em.

Well I've gone on a little more than necessary, it's not really as staccato-ish as a staccato note tends to be. Well 'tis that time of the year, so merry wishes and good cheer to you all and have a fantastic and heart and soul warming time with the people that matter the most to you. Really...don't waste your time with those who don't value it, you'll be glad you didn't. Don't make resolutions...resolve to do things, as it will add more character to the things you do and it will keep you moving forward. All you need is a little resolve, despite everything that comes your way, your resolve will be the burning fire that will push you forward and get you closer to your dreams. Merry Christmas everyone and I hope Santa has a little something for all of you!

Perception & Competition - The Looking Glass Reflections & Refractions

Perception....it's a tricky little thing to put your finger on ya know? It's either the skewed kind, or, the rose tinted kind or something caught somewhere in the middle of the two. It's an uncertainty that people in general love to puff their chests out and scream, rant and shriek with such confidence and clarity that really the beholder or listener wouldn't even know how far from the shadow of truth this illusion falls into. The last few days if not weeks, in particular, have been highly fascinating and have added quite a bit of growth to my ever expanding growth curve. You know how people say that wisdom is something you acquire with age, time (I guess it qualifies if not falls into the same bracket as age) and time? Well...NEWSFLASH....some people just never stand to gain any regardless of those 3 above mentioned factors, it's as if they're stuck in this moment of time that they might never graduate from.

From time immemorial we're always told about the ticking clock...that concept in life 'bout how we're running out of time...time to be the brightest academic genius in our akademik endeavours, or that coveted musical, artsy or sports prodigy that we're supposed to be, or to achieve and fulfill those dreams we've always had (despite having no clue what those ideas or dreams may be at times) or, to have the time of our lives, to fall in love and things of the sort. In not so many words, we're running out of time to revel in that thing called youth and we're plummeting towards this thing called old age...hold still people 'cuz blink and you may just miss your youth. Okay so tell me oh smart ones who believe in the rush rush, hush hush game, why exactly do you have your clocks ticking on all those things that you have your eyes and dreams set on? What happens if there's a sudden change in plans and you get totally blindsided and suddenly realize all that rush to reach the finish line was pointless? I doubt it's going to make you feel like you accomplished anything...in fact I think it's gonna make you bust out a list of things you have left to accomplish, instead of making a list of the things you know you've accomplished and taking comfort and solace from that list. It's human nature I guess, to never quite feel like you've accomplished whatever you've wanted to, 'cuz want is the one appetite we can never satiate.

In addition to leading such racy, pacy lives there is one crucial and critical cofactor, if I may say so, that one cannot ignore nor sideline. It's the one companion that never finds the exit door in our lives, it's the motivational factor and the ultimate destroyer in oh so many ways. Please put your hands together for life's unfailing constant....competition. It's quite intriguing actually, life might be the only equation in the Universe that has such a unique and diverse set of constants. I'm sure you're all aware of this thing called competition, in some of you it brings out the cattiest and bitchiest sides ever, where you'd be willing to sell your soul to the devil and go through irrevocable and irreversible decisions in life and earn colourful names and titles, but then again you're pretty sure you don't care. Try asking that part of your soul that actually still has a bit of a conscience wandering in there, I'm sure it begs to differ. I'm not saying the aggressive nature of being competitive is a bad thing, it sometimes is the catalyst that pushes us towards the brink of a revolutionary, life altering discovery. Let's just be straight up about it and say that no progress would occur without competition...but here's my issue with competition.

Competition is great and all, but you should know how to handle it...you see like I said before life is an equation, and a balanced one at that. All your actions have a cost and a consequence, so you might wanna think twice before you embark on your journey...try and get rid of those blinkers you'd prefer walking around with you know? And hey, this lil' note I'm adding here you REALLY should take into consideration 'cuz you'd be an absolute ignorant idiot to ignore it or even laugh it off. NEVER...never ever underestimate the person sitting next to you, never for a single second in your life believe that the person sitting next to you is an idiot or dumbass with nothing between their ears, regardless of points served up on an IQ test or grades scored on exams, and then some. To underestimate someone is to be a fool, it just means you have sooo much more to observe and so many more lessons to learn that the world has to offer.

I'm no stranger to competition, it's something that's been a part and parcel of my life from a very young age. But, I'll tell you what about this whole competition thing really pissed me off as a kid. See I get the whole thing about parents wanting and needing to be a part of their kids' lives, it's a very natural and human thing to do. I mean c'mon which parent wouldn't want to be part of the growing/wonder years of their kids' lives? I get all of that, but what I don't get is when parents start interfering in places and events where it is absolutely unnecessary. I think it's essential that kids figure out the whole ground rules for being competitive with each other as well as setting standards, ethics and principles for themselves. Parents need to teach their children right from wrong, and how to pick themselves up if and when they fall, because believe it or not sooner or later each and every one of us go through that crushing drop zone, and there never really is a better teacher than experience. And who best can tell you about epxerience besides the recesses of your memories? Well holy jalapenos Batman, there's your parents as well!

I don't think parents should ever get into other kids' faces and tell them that they don't have what it takes to be half as successful nor are they half as talented or skilled as their own. Think about it, you're an adult telling a child that they have no talents or skills and are pretty much stupid, how do you think a kid would feel when they hear something like that? It may seem a little hard to believe, but it's true...there are a few parents who have no stones in saying things of this nature to other people's kids, especially when the parents aren't around. Ya know growing up we all go through stages of uncertainty where we're not quite sure what we're good at and we're just getting to know more about ourselves and all of that fun stuff? Well guess what Sherlock...when you have adults confirming your lil' doubts about things you suck at, I'm not quite sure how that's supposed to make anyone feel any better about themselves. Let's not forget that we're talking about children...and, when they hear adults talking to them they think the grown up knows better than they do 'cuz lets face it we always say grown ups know more and know better than kids. Yeah this is definitely familiar turf for me, this was something I've had a few aunties be kind enough to tell me, how else do you think I got such a sparkling personality?

It's one thing when this happens in childhood, but it's completely different when it still happens when you're an adult. Okay firstly parents doing that is wrong, I've been lucky enough to have folks who don't care for stuff like that, they've always allowed us kids to expand and find our own depths and our own shortcomings, if not they've been kind enough to point 'em out and well you know have a series of jokes going on 'bout it for eternity. Recently, I heard someone's, (falling within the parental bracket might I add), input 'bout a really good friend of mine, and besides being gobsmacked and pissed, there was a part of me that just caused me to shake my head in frustration and disgust at how people have the audacity to say the things they do. How does someone older, and mind you with kids, and apparently mature, have the right to comment on anyone being a fool and a complete brainless idiot without even spending enough time to get to know of their strengths and shortcomings? I mean don't they realize that other people, well forget people...heck their own so called best friends, call and consider their kids to be brainless idiots or worse yet? It's appalling how people never think before they speak, and how their foot finds the way to their mouths faster than their words do.

Perception....it's an art and a skill that one should hone, not waste so foolishly on useless things. It's our gift if not privilege of viewing the world a certain way and working towards that vision. Use it to be a visionary, use it to make a difference in someone's life instead of being a thorn in people's lives, people have too many of those, especially in the kind of world we live in these days. Remember, life is an equation, everything in that equation is meant to be balanced. Variables and constants don't get added to make it look fancy, shmancy and better than anything Newton, Planck, Farraday or Einstein came up with really, they're just the factors we contribute to our own equation and it's the weight of our actions that ultimately end up balancing that equation. Live to make your life count 'cuz end of the day there's nothing like knowing you did what you could to the best of your abilities, and take pride in the little victories as well as the losses.

Stop, Play, Pause...

Well the first week of akademia is done and I'm not quite sure how I feel, I do know that I'm craving to be home sooner than later, sooner as in tomorrow if possible lol. Unfortunately my private jet orders got lost under a pile of other such papers, so yeah it looks like I'm gonna have to wait a while before anything happens. Oh akademia, love it hate it it knows how to make your mind work...which may not necessarily be a bad idea, considering the whole 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop' and all *rolls eyes*. An idle mind is a peaceful, content mind that has received a lotta sleep :D.

Man I manage to catch glimpses of the news every now and then in the midst of studying, seeing how I have my iGoogle page doing that for me and seriously, WHAT THE HELL is wrong with people in the world? No wonder nobody ever has any optimism for peace, compassion or understanding. The world seems to be generating more retarded, backward, narrow minded assholes than is necessary, which in turn just makes our world and our future seem bleak, gloomy and non progressive. And you have school boards and other boards saying how the future for our current generation's future looks bleak and unfriendly and all that other jazz on the one hand and then due to our technological advances and scientific breakthroughs how the future looks friendly. Seriously, get your bloody acts together people. Anyway, before I go into a segue of sorts with school boards and all of them, seriously, what is going on with the world? In order to show them terrorists something you decide to burn the Quran? Really? And that too these are the words of wisdom coming from a pastor? It doesn't matter if he's considered a nobody because he has around 30 followers, the point is not the number of followers he has, its the fact that there are people who harbour if not share his sentiments. I mean what are you going to get outta burning pages? Better yet what are you going to get from burning what sections of the global population consider the book of God? That too by a religious head of a sister faith or one of the branches of the apparent Holy Trinity of faiths? I mean c'mon Christianity, Islam and Judaism are recognized among if not within each other, they recognize each other as true faiths because they follow a religious book of sorts, and the rest of the faiths supposedly don't, but anyway that's not the point. All 3 faiths preach the word of God and the word of the G-man does not say burn the books ye heathens for if thee heart or soul which lies in thy family, thy fellow brethren and thy friends ever be struck by the hand of man or a brother or sister then thou must taketh upon thyself to seek vengeance by condemning them and their beliefs, for they art not my children but the children of sin, and ultimately the children of Satan and therefore everything they believe in must be purged from this world and then the world will be cleansed of the foul existence of such vile creatures.

I mean really c'mon!!! The G-man has better things to do than to have people show their faith in him by doing things that are so ridiculously immature. Have we not seen the world being ripped enough a'ready? Have we not learned anything from history? It's a shame if we haven't, then what's the point of this existence? Besides, lets be realistic, this isn't the first incident in the world where a religious text is/will/has or would have been burned, its happened before, I'm sure the Bible has been burned, as well as the Gita and the Torah and all the other religious texts out there. The only difference is it never received as much coverage as this particular event did, considering how today marks the day where the fanaticism and religious extremism reared it's ugly head. I don't care about the blame game with religions, in fact its not even 'bout religions, which doesn't mean I'm an atheist, oh I'm religious a'ite, I just don't find a need to say how my religion is the coolest of them all and totally kicks everyone else's ass. Somewhere down the line of preaching, religion turned into a political weapon, a weapon to wield to rule nations, to bring down nations, to mindlessly orchestrate genocides, mass murder and trigger horrendous acts that one would never imagine mankind was capable of.

It disgusts me knowing that above that multicultural, diverse layer that all them 'big wigs' preach and boast of there lies a nice thick, dense layer of discrimination and prejudice. Talk is cheap, if you want to make sure that it sticks then you gotta be ready to practise what you preach and take the risks and chances involved in doing so. If we can't do that, and we can't set an example then there is no way that the future is gonna get any friendly and that future generations are gonna learn from the mistakes of our past. The first lesson that children, heck why limit it to the kids, the first lesson people should learn is that of acceptance. Accepting an individual completely and wholly for who they are, for what they believe in, its the concept of acceptance as a whole rather than accepting a few things and rejecting if not discarding the rest that I'm trying to emphasize out here. Nobody should ever have to feel limited nor do they have to ever settle for less for themselves, because that's what they know they're appreciated for. Sky really is the limit, yeah I know I sound like a resident of that place called Utopia, but really how often have you felt limited by what you could or could not do? Acceptance doesn't make you perfect, it allows you to look at people as a whole rather than microscopically. And you know what? It never is too late to learn acceptance, that's just the beauty of being a human being. Your mind, soul, and heart are always constantly evolving, changing and growing. Don't do yourself the injustice of not growing as a person, it adds more colour, vibrance and zest not only to your personality but to every moment and memory you live in and help to create. Right after acceptance, we need to learn to be more Accomodating. Instead of having pissing contests with each other to prove one's ability to be oversmart and sly among other things, we should learn to acknowledge and respect each others' strengths and weaknesses. You never know when sometimes all people need is just someone who will listen to them and not judge them. Humankind's biggest fear is that of judgment, heck to be honest with you yeah I do worry 'bout how people will judge me if I do things a certain other way or if I do certain other things that may not necessarily be at the top of their 'cool' list. I can't help it but hey I do try to work on it. I'm not saying it's something that will *poof* vanish in a day or so, all I'm saying is work with it so it does not give you tunnel vision, and limit you from giving you all into making your life a worthwhile experience. Wouldn't you rather exit stage left from this world, when the time comes, holding on to memories you cherish rather than holding on to regrets, strife and grief?

Anyway, I'm not going to get into this too much, because you guys aren't stupid, and none of these things are unknown nor unheard of to you. It would be nice if there was more hope in this world for people to look forward to and call reality than the gloomy stark gray clouds of bleakness that we currently shake our heads at and accept as reality. On that note, I'm gonna end this post here, however, not without a few other notes :P. Firstly Eid Mubarak everyone, I hope you all had a fantastic time with friends and family and that you all got your eidi..haha...c'mon you know you were lookin' forward to that. Secondly, Happy Ganesh Chaturthi everyone!! Especially you G-man, many happy returns of the day to you and thank you fer everything thus far :D. To everyone getting long weekends as a result of these festivities, have a blast, sleep in, celebrate and have an amazing time. Long weekends come in limited quantities so make the most of 'em :D.

Well that's it folks, take care and I hope all is well with each and everyone of ya, all the very best if you have any big life changing things happening at the moment, though we always do have a lil' bit of a life changing moment every day of our lives that ultimately build into an epic life changing moment :P. Have an amazing weekend people, and here's hoping I can survive and live through these upcoming months, which to be quite frank with you do look quite tortuous and gruelling, but I guess you never really know until you go through it :|. Here's to surviving until I get home, peace out and may the force be with ya'll.

Song(s) of the Day:

Song: Aas Paas Khuda
OST: Anjaana Anjaani
Release Date: Circa, 2010

Song: Mar Jaawan (Remix, even the originals and the original remix is pretty good, original all the way though :D)
OST: Fashion, however remixed by Dj Wardhan ft. Badmash
Release Date: Circa, 2008

Reflections

A'ite so I think I may have missed a day but hey even the G-man took a day off from creating the world, and I ain't the G-man, only human so entitled to be a lil' MIA from time to time...key words being time to time, not a frequent thing. At least I hope I don't make my MIA-ness a frequent thing. Of course I know that would be comforting for a lot of ya'll to not see so many words on your screen, it has a visually traumatizing effect. Well between the last time I posted on here and now, not much has happened besides remembering those long gone but never forgotten, my teams losing their respective matches , going on a Disney blitz by watching classic Disney flicks , spending time with A&A pplz, and lastly worrying and hoping and praying that Nepty doesn't hit the off button on me, then that would make me just sad. Though he's been swimming around a lot more today, anyway I'm sure you all have other things swimming through your heads than the state of my fishy. Today has been a day of many thoughts, perhaps even a day of reflection, though I'm not quite sure what I was reflecting on as I seemed to have an overload of images from times that seem another lifetime ago. In fact they actually make me go huh? Really? I did that? That happened? Why does it all seem like some part of a dream that seemed to never happen but somehow did? I wonder if the age factor is a major contributor of the thought tree. Though in my case, this particular thought tree can reel back anytime it wants to and when it does I'm the one reeling with a crazy ass headache.

You know what I feel like seeing or experiencing today? Something filled with passion, something exuding so much compassion that makes you want to re-evaluate everything you've done so far and makes you wanna strive to do more, strive harder, try harder...completely re-do and over-do everything you've done thus far and raise the bar for your own self, not for anybody else. I wanna feel something that reminds me of the very essence of being a human being and of being alive. Tell me something you've done that you never thought you would ever do...Well I have quite a few 'never thought I would do' items on my list...I think lol. For instance, I never though I'd turn out to be this AWESOME :D...I knew I'd turn out 'ite, but I far surpassed that level... :P....jus' kiddin' no I'm not that self-absorbed or narcissistic just yet. I never thought I'd make it thus far, being where I am chasing one of my many dreams, in other words I never thought I'd try to be my own dreamcatcher. I mean I always wanted to chase this dream of mine and every time I tried there was always something or someone to slot me in a category of 'Not Qualified enough' either 'cuz I wasn't smarter than their kids or I didn't seem to fit the prototype for the kinda ppl you find chasing this dream. It always drove me nuts, honestly, who the bloody hell do you think you are to limit anyone's dreams? or capabilities? or abilities? Is it in your ruddy blood to kill, destroy and demolish people's dreams? Or are you just envious of your inability to dream? I hate this entire system of slotting on the basis of a few criteria, if you don't see or sense the fire of passion burning within a person you're nothing but a daft old door knob whose arse should be kicked for passing judgment in the first place. Does it make me a bitter person for re-visiting those times that I've been be-littled? I dunno maybe...maybe not...sometimes you gotta go knockin' doors down memory lane to re-invigorate yourselves, to re-ignite your hopes...sometimes just to visit that first step you took in a long line of steps to get where you are today. It makes you cherish the journey, and it leaves you in a state of wonder goin' "Damn...I hadn't realized how far I've come." And this lil' trip helps you to re-stash your lil' arsenal of defenses when you meet different avataars of the ignoramuses you've run into time after time. People being people like to put others down, like to beat 'em up till they crack or are completely destroyed/obliterated. Just remember you've faced such morons before and if you haven't and this is your first time runnin' into ignoramuses use the tunnel strategy, take it in through one ear and out the other. Such people aren't worth your time, your energy or even an iota of your understanding, they just don't deserve it...plain and simple. Yeah everyone should be given a chance but some of them sure know how to overstay the welcome mat on chances.

My mother never hesitates to call me a door-mat 'cuz according to her I let people walk all over me and I let 'em get away with a lotta shit. I just tell her 'Mom I'm not a door-mat I just like giving everyone a fair chance regardless of what anyone else says.' ...call me idealistic, oh wait I've been called that too..whee! what joy lol. I do think everyone shud get a fair shot when you first meet them, at least you get some sorta idea as to how they are, being judgmental is easy you're basically letting someone else make your decision for you, I do understand we live in a fast-paced world and all that funky jazz that we keep spouting to each other and reminding each other in oh so many ways Nehoo, moving on I'm saying this stuff 'cuz a lotta times we tend to forget 'bout the basics of being a human being, we think alike...we feel the exact same emotions...so then why the hell do we strive to divide and create differences amongst ourselves? Why do we strive to highlight our differences and create more rifts based on our differences when we should strive instead towards using those very differences to mend old rifts and create new bridge/doorways to safe, secure and brilliant future?

I know one thing for sure, when my number comes up and ya know I gotta go up there and chill with St. Peter or whoever is at the gates...oh wait slight error, I got a ticket down to Hell whoopsies, sorry St. Peter and Co. can't join yer partay just yet, but yeah sorry I digress, wen my number comes up I think if nething I'd be content knowing I made a difference to at least one person's life and that my life wasn't a complete, absolute and utter waste. Oh and on notes of numbers being run et al. I actually have some sort of a playlist worked out I think, it b8r be played at the memorial service or else I will haunt all the ppl. who don't make it happen...that's right perks of goin' down under instead of up-top I guess. Though the play-list might be a work in progress, seeing how there's always new soundtracks and more music coming out every now and then. Oh and I want my comeex to go to someone who will actually appreciate reading 'em...there's one of the clauses to things I own :P...the rest like the play list is a work in progress lol.

Ooh so my Firefox finally updated/upgraded itself and it took me to the whole personas page that Mozilla has for it's self, and I was quite conflicted as to what to pick and choose, I saw some awesome skins though, so I guess I might find myself changing those skins quite often, you know add a bit of variety, change things around, shake things up a bit routine. Oh and going on that "I never thought I'd do" list...well I never thought I'd be able to sing in front of a lotta people, and even to this day I still don't think I can but yeah you should ask me how I'm feeling while I'm singing, its called having a bloody heart attack, my heart literally pumps and beats outside it's rib cage lol. If it could hop, skip and bounce outta there it would do so. A'ite fellow homo sapiens, I gotta take yer leave now, gotta go get me some grub...hungry child needs some actual food instead of some food for thought, which my brain and the rest of me has plenty of on a regular basis...always stocked, you're all more than welcome to grab some :P. Take care all of ya, I hope you guys had a Blessed and wonderful Easter and you found those eggs that bunny hid from you all, and to those of you who decorated the eggs you guys have talent and I hope you had fun decoratin' 'em eggs :D, hmmm I should get myself Kinder eggs :)..now that = true happiness :P. Cheers and catch ya'll whenever I do, same channel...different time :D.

Songs of the Day:

Song: Everybody Loves Me
Artist/Band: OneRepublic
Album: Waking Up
Release Date: Circa, 2009

Song: Mastam Mastam
OST: Yuvvraaj
Release Date: Circa, 2008

Song: Good Life
Artist/Band: OneRepublic
Album: Waking Up
Release Date: Circa, 2009

Song: Chasing Cars
Artist/Band: Snow Patrol
Album: Eyes Open
Release Date: Circa, 2006

Song: Words
Artist/Band: Boyzone
Album: A Different Beat
Release Date: Circa, 1996

Song: With or Without You
Artist/Band: U2
Album: The Joshua Tree
Release Date: Circa, 1987