Showing posts with label manipulators. Show all posts
Showing posts with label manipulators. Show all posts

Saturday, January 28, 2012

The Convenience Factor & Observations

One of the most underrated, overlooked and overexploited attributes we live with these days is that of convenience. We conveniently forget our beginnings/roots, our friends, our principles, our values, our duties and who we are as people in an attempt to fit in, stand out, or achieve the highest pinnacle of what we consider to be success. Call me naive, a fool or even a tool, but you know it's true, and it's this convenience factor that annoys the crap outta me.

Well I'm sure that the word originally came into being to explain that which makes things easier for us, and perhaps was meant to be applied to inanimate things...Guess now it's become a way of life that applies to both the animate and inanimate sectors of life. It's sad really as to how all things that start with good intentions manage to get modified into twisted extensions of what they were originally meant to be. What gets me more is how after a while we all sit there and accept it without batting an eyelid. Saying this also doesn't mean I'm the epitome of perfection and don't overuse or abuse this convenience factor. Saying that would just make me a ruddy hypocrite now won't it? Which is something I cannot deny either...let's face it everyone in today's day and age is a hypocrite, whether they choose to publicly announce it or live with it with a strong sense of denial.

Let me elucidate just what I mean by this whole convenience factor thing I'm talking about. For instance, I find it highly insulting when people conveniently remember that I have a few (and by few I mean very few) writing skills, especially when they need help figuring out what to write for a report, letter, card, etc...you know all that crap that needs words in there. But then when I want to get an opinion on what people think of something I've written I get this 'Oh send it I'll read it and get back to you' (and they never do) response or, 'Oh yeah I don't like reading stuff much' response. Well hows about next time you have shit to write, you figure it out for yourself then? I'm sure you have a remarkable brain that can figure out how to string a few words together into sentences, 'cuz after-all isn't that your summarized version of what I do? Things in life are a 2 way street people, you need to understand that, or I need to understand that people don't deserve even a fraction of a second of my time, concern or attention as far as their lives are concerned. Just to make it clear, NO I'm not out here trying to push my writing skills, I mean think about it. If I decided to push my skills then trust me it wouldn't be a mere push, it would be a freaking shove and I'd be screaming myself hoarse from every bleeding rooftop. Clearly *sigh* I just needed to air out a few thoughts, opinions, observations and concerns.

This post isn't about evoking some latent or dormant sense of promoting world peace or unity or wonderful schnazz of the sort. If that were the point then I would be working for the UN and I wouldn't be busting my chops oceans away from home for a dream that I'm trying my damndest best to fulfill. The months away from home have brought a few things into focus, and pushed a few things out of focus as well, hence causing the blurred vision and all that jazz. Being away from home gives you a sense of things, it lets you nurture your perspective about the world that's out there, and about the people that live in that world. I know pieces of who I was have chipped away, there's things that I've lost that I can't ever regain. But a loss is not necessarily a bad thing, it's a survival and defense mechanism that slips into place anytime and every single time you encounter something out of your comfort zone. Actually being away has given me an idea of what I may perceive and perhaps want home to be. In fact, every single time I've headed home for a break, there's always been a moment where I see a shift in how I perceive my surroundings...Every time there's just that lil' extra feeling of feeling like a stranger, an outsider, a guest...like somebody who doesn't belong. They aren't in your face changes, it's always the subtle things that pop up and remind you of those changes.

I guess this journey away from home was a required class in the Life program. There's a few things I do know that I don't want attached to my life tag. I don't want to be the sucker who has to deal with all the emotional BS some people go through 'cuz they can't get their act and shit together, even if they themselves know that the BS they're talking about is absolutely ridiculous. I can't be the last person on your list of friends who gets to be used as your first choice when ludicrousness and stupidity is involved...well I would give a damn and would be involved if the same courtesies were extended this way as well. So thank you for the shut eye, plugged ear sessions, where I might as well have spoken to a wall and received the same answers that I received from you. I know I'm an ungrateful fiend, but fudgecakes and fishsticks, I don't care! (You probably might need a lotta minties after that though...I'm just saying, just in case you decided to dip those fishsticks in some garlic sauce or something)

Well in other notes and sidelines...having more than 1 blog is a rather interesting experience. Seeing how I'm trying to keep the focus strictly streamlined to my writing/creative process with my other blog, it's a little difficult sometimes, 'cuz we all know how I get carried away. Heck I proofread those posts the way I used to proofread my term papers :S....which is kinda cool 'cuz sometimes I can clearly see how the segue has nothing to do with the topic at hand. It's been entertaining trying to edit the flow of thoughts generated by brain, somedays it's super hyperactive 'cuz it has ideas for both blogs...however that hyperactivity seems to kick in most, around exam time...which kinda is a bummer. None the less there are a few projects I'm contemplating working on, and it should be interesting to see how they turn out, well depending on if they ever do. At the moment though, working on both blogs feels like I have a dual personality, so while working on 1 I'm consciously editing out anything that might be more pertinent to the other one. I wouldn't be surprised if I wound up being diagnosed with schizophrenia or dissociative identity disorder one of these days.

Well on that note people, have yourselves a wonderful weekend and have a fun time recharging for the week ahead. The next time you interact with someone, try and be genuine in your interactions and try not to think of them as a means to an end....we all are human after all and we have that thing that the mesolimbic system heads up called emotions that tend to get in the way. Yeah and when that crappy thing called emotions gets in the way it's a real pain in the arse 'cuz it makes you think, evaluate, re-evaluate, ponder, reflect and go outta your mind. Don't do that to yourself; save yourself the trouble and try and add essence of genuinity in the way you conduct yourself...and making people feel like a convenience rather than someone worthy of your time and attention gives rise to some serious self-image, self-esteem and self-respect issues. Now that's something you do not want future generations to learn from us, the worst fatalities of such issues are children, and the earlier they start having these self-esteem issues the harder it gets for them to deal with obstacles and challenges that life serves up. To be one with the world, you gotta find if not create that one connection that will allow the world to sync with you...so either find it or create it.


Sunday, April 11, 2010

The Darker end of the Spectrum

Sometimes one can't help but remark at the ugliness the world is composed of...people who rather flaunt their ugly personalities; ugly dispositions; ugly thoughts; ugly deeds and so goes the list. The slimy bastards that lurk around the corner waiting to leech off and mooch off more than their victims can give, and what's worse? They under-estimate the power of the poor ol' sucker they're suckin' dry. Yo uglies of the world, didn't your mamas ever teach you that what goes around comes around? Or better yet did you not listen to that song by JT when it first hit the air-waves? Well if you didn't do yourself a favour and go listen to it on youtube or something, whether you like the guy's vocals or not. And if you tell me my taste in music sucks, well I guess you're entitled to your own opinions but the point was to listen to the lyrics especially the chorus not to play the song on repeat till you drive yourself insane. Anyway, usually I try to be optimistic 'bout the world we live in but then all of a sudden all that muck and murkiness of people coupled with their jealousy, stupidity and their constant need to feed their superiority complex 'cuz God forbid someone should be better than them at some things. Oh and to that also add that someone appears to live a much better life than said desperate, superiority complex craving, bottom feeding creton....hey moron here's my question to you...How the hell do you know what the other person has been through for you to sit there and judge, evaluate and formulate the supposed story of their lives? Did you forget that part of your mortal existence that said you're a freaking mortal and not the G-man himself. Even the G-man doesn't interfere once the creation process is done, then it's a matter of how things go on from there and how the scales tip and to what side they tip.

Here's another question, before you judge someone do you ever think about things from their perspective? Or perhaps switch/trade places so as to look at the world through their eyes...only briefly? I'm pretty sure you don't, 'cuz people like you corrode yourselves, those around you and even your kids from your sheer stupidity. You believe you're the only one with the sob stories, the tales of woe, the ones who have endured extreme hardship and all that other bullshit. Well, NEWS-freakin-FLASH...jus' cuz people don't go screaming from the bloody roof-tops that life is unfair and that things didn't go as they planned or thought it would doesn't mean they don't feel or have any less of an experience than you do. So, take your fuckin' drama and shove it either down your gullet or well you know the other direction.

It's sad the times we live in, but then again human nature has always had a double edged sheen to it, twist the circumstances, twist the odds and you could possibly twist a person unless they're strong enough to fight and fight back with a bang. It's a world filled with skepticism, and if you're gonna temme it's always been that way and wake up sunshine, please don't...I'm pretty aware of how the world functions, I've seen and had my share of personal trysts with a few of it's twisted and fucked up ways, I don't need a watered down or a concentrated version of reality. I see it everyday but sometimes it's better to not be so bitter 'cuz then that just makes everything all the more depressing and gloomy for everybody else and that ultimately kills the one thing that beats the Energizer bunny when it comes to pushing, surging and rushing forward...that lil' thing called Hope. And of course I know you all have heard of that wonderful saying, 'When it rains, it pours.' Oh hell yeah it does, its called a ruddy downpour when it happens, you might as well start learning how to swim if you don't know how to...well I'm not a huge fan of swimming but I'll make sure I find some drift wood to drift along.

Usually when you fall down and look around to get up you know your family's got your back, more than anybody and everybody else you've met along the way...oh no no I'm not being cynical, in fact I'm being as realistic as I can possibly be. But..what happens when the very family who you've grown up with, who know pretty much everything, not necessarily every single thing, but they pretty much know you inside and out and share a bond greater than all bonds with you...well what happens when they don't have your back? When they give up on you and instead of helping you up, they just walk away? Then what do you do? Do you just sit there and stare in shock and despair? Cry oceans of salt water at the ghastly realization that as much as you mean or maybe meant to them they just walked away shrugging shoulders, nodding their heads in disappointment? Or in some cases stabbing you in the back and walking away patting themselves on the back for a job well done...then what do you do? I mean friends doing the walking away thing I can understand, sometimes its the user/abuser stance where its all 'Oh hey you fell off the ladder of success now I have no use for you so I'm trashing you like yesterday's trash. Adios, cheerio...you're a loser...time to catch up with the next in thing to help me move up in life.' Or sometimes its the clueless nature of 'Oh boy I really don't know how to help or what to do...I don't wanna make things worse and I don't know how to make things better so I'm gonna step back and not put my arse on the line by trying to do anything.' Though that's not to say that there aren't friends who stick around and try to help you up, but end of the day folks you're all you've got. You can sit there and wallow in self pity as long as you bloody want, but that ain't gonna make your problems disappear, you can whine all you want but end of the day all you will hear is your own echo, and hearing it frequently, constantly and repeatedly will annoy, frustrate, vex and drive you crazy...to the extent that you just get up, dust yourself and go fuck this shit, I gotta get outta here and you'll start moving. What matters outta all this is when you do it, the sooner you do it the sooner you'll appreciate it later in the future, the more delayed you are the more you're setting yourself up to kick yourself in the arse time after time, and then a new set of whining arises wherein you're crying over spilt milk and you can't go back in time and fix it. The best you can do is probably say, 'Yeah I should have, I could have but I didn't, no point in thinkin' 'bout things I can't change anymore.'

Anyway, I'm gonna end this here, the ugliness still makes my blood boil, it makes me wanna throttle and jostle someone awake and say 'HEY! Can someone fix that? Its gonna be the thing that breaks us all, somebody do something!' and I know what sorta response I will receive to that jostle...it'll be something along the lines of a shrug and advice along the lines of "If you ignore it then it won't exist, so ignore it." Yeah right, it won't exist, my right and left foot it won't exist...it exists because of that very ignorance that we all can pride ourselves for. I hope you guys are having a decent weekend, yay joy weekend and all that fun jazz that goes with it. Take care and until next time...cheerio.

Songs of the Day:

Song: Shadow Of The Day
Artist/Band: Linkin Park
Album: Minutes to Midnight
Release Date: Circa, 2007

Song: Mausam
OST: The Train
Release Date: Circa, 2007