Greetings, Felicitiations and Merry New Year

So you know that old adage "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" or some such sweet nothings of the sort? Well it's kinda sorta true, or at least that's the way I feel about coming back here...it's been a while, I think the monstrosity of akademia took over my non existent life. Well and you know some monsters can be slayed, while others you just I guess learn to strike a balance with.

It's been a few tough days, but then again, busting your chops at the beginning of the year I hope is a good sign. Just keeps you working and striving harder for the rest of the year or sum'n like that. Regardless of all the downhill moments I've had so far I'd still like to think I have a hint of optimism left in me. None the less, I do hope you chumps had a fantastic New year or at least a fantastic time celebrating and ringing in the New Year. Mine was a very quaint and different affair, in years we actually rang the new year in with other folks, usually it's the familial unit chilling and ringing in that stroke of the midnight hour. Oh well I guess it's a sign from the universe to shake up my routine a little huh?

Now, this post has been under creation for a while, and I have good reasons for that as well. Things have been a bit rough these last few weeks, since ushering in the 2011 and all. I see people reaching out to do new things creatively, which makes me heave a slight sigh of relief 'cuz I'd like to believe that we all still have the power to create and bring into this world fresh ideas and approaches towards things. It's heart warming I guess, but while on that topic I really wish people would be like these fresh ideas as well. Unfortunately or fortunately you don't always get what you hope and wish for.

Okay I know this is pretty much common knowledge for everyone but in case you didn't notice, I tend to go off on a ramble 'bout friends and friendship and things of the sort when I get into the realm of people and changes and things of the sort. These last few weeks have been something close to disastrous but not so dramatic that I'd call it that, they've been extremely rough ones. They've been chipping away at my soul, my humanity, my conscience and definitely my temper. My anger has transcended the bursts of red to serene, blinding hot silver, sharp enough to cut through anything. Now I'm not the kind of person to stop the next person on the street and sob my heart out, firstly I'd be terribly embarassed and would rather crawl under a rock and disappear for good. I'm also not the person who will badger my friends to take a few minutes outta their lives to listen to my tale of woes, okay maybe I should ask them but I've got my reasons not to do so. Blame it on my childhood I guess, and if you're gonna be thinking 'oh yeah of course blame it on something else and don't take responsibility for your own actions and thought processes' then well hey you're entitled to do that. But to make your miserable thought process a lil' less miserable, I am blaming myself I just don't like being direct with things like that :P, I mean hell where's the suspense then?

None the less, like most things I digress, but I would like to think that when you're so connected with people on levels that transcend that of acquaintances then do you not have the basic courtesy of saying hey u a'ite there? Things don't seem too great with ya and you haven't quite been yourself is everything a'ite? Or did I just get switched into some fuckin' Bizzaro world where nobody really cares how anyone is doing but is just more concerned 'bout milking that cow for what it's worth and then sending it off to the meat packin' factory down the road for the execution and mechanical farewell? Oh hell yeah I'm gonna be spewing quite a bit of acid in this post so if you can't take a heavy dose of spewing 2 words for you mate, PISS OFF. Go do something constructive then. None the less, I must rant my fingers feel mega excited to rather leave imprints on the wall and ripping the concrete and cement and everything else the fuck apart but I'm trying to still stick to my 'Gandhian' ways of Ahimsa. Let's hope no human crosses my anger threshold today to suffer the consequences, I'm just hoping my gob doesn't decide to rack out some shellfire if that were to happen today. 'cuz while actions do leave lasting impressions words leave lasting imprints, forever branded in the depths of our memories. Anyway, getting back to the narrative going on here besides that of a very fitting description of the anger consuming me inside out, a few months ago friend of mine that I do consider family was in 'woe is me' mode where things seemed to fall apart 'cuz hey a relationship fell apart. So, me being the sucker for things tragic and weepy and apparently with a hero complex the 'heroine complex' I swooped in to be the shoulder. Mind you I was being a virtual shoulder to the salt water being shed, and I was spending all this time trying to be there and trying to help fix problems that were beyond my control and grasp. I guess I'll never learn to not be a sucker for stupid things like this. Call me heartless if you must but seriously a relationship beyond repair is not the end of the world, there are more things that need to be repaired and fixed in the world besides matters of the heart. Especially if it's matters of the heart that you're unwilling to compromise and meet someone halfway with, 'cuz heck if you and the other person know it's meant to be and there's nothing else to it then you WILL make it work, Plain and simple, but if you're complicating it up all for your own self that just shows that you clearly have plenty of time on your hands and that you'd rather spend time complicating your life rather than making sense out of it.

Okay before you relationshipped and packaged people pounce on me with your questions, the first answer is no I've never been in one and yes I can still talk 'bout it 'cuz I've seen enough. I actually do keep my eyes open, even if I do have visual problems, my eyes are ears tend to be open most of the time. So yeah I think I do know a thing or 2 about the subject, and trust me especially if you have seen that which I have seen oh fuck yeah you do know a thing or 2 about things. I'm no expert, actually nobody is, even if you are someone who has been in what 7 relationships in the last decade or so yeah no you aren't no expert. However, like I was saying, there's more than just fickle relationships to keep your eyes and ears open out there for. So like I was saying, my friend was down in the dumps and I was trying to check in and make sure things were okay and that they were progressing forward with their life despite the setback of the heart. I think that was another learning period for me, I learned how easy it is to shove the blame onto another friend if you know things weren't as rosy as they used to be or if you aren't as close to people as you used to be. And it's so much easier to do so when you do not make the effort to do so, and it's even easier to attach and tag labels on your friends. I'm not saying it is any one person's fault, friendship is a 2 way street like most things in life and both parties are responsible for the failure in communication. I kinda sorta got dragged into yet another thing that was not my problem to deal with, I have a very uncanny ability of being dragged into things, whether I want to be dragged into it or not. The worst thing to get dragged into however is the additional baggage category of friends, you know, the category where a friend doesn't want to meet another friend or puts off meeting a friend because there's this retarded notion of not being able to see them or do anything with them because there's been no time or yeah there's just no fucking good excuse you can come up with besides being a lazy slob who can't respect what you have. Jaesus, it amazes me how the world is filled with more people that fit this general, myriad description of a human being. No wonder the future seems so bleak, dull and gray to most people, and it's no surprise that optimism died a painful, horrible and gruesome death a while ago. What's worse is that the optimistic ones keep getting teh short end of the stick and squeezed into losing their optimism. If you can't handle optimism that's your problem, why not leave those that are trying to do something better for everyone alone and let them try and attempt at making things a lil' better. Does it not strike anyone that maybe people like being optimistic 'cuz that's the way they deal with their problems, maybe by seeing the light in someone else's eyes or the light in another situation actually gives them the hope and faith to face their fears and fight their battles and demons. But no, that's just ridiculous right? To let anyone else have that shot at happiness if you can't have it.

Anyway, while I was home for to celebrate a time of cheer, happiness, family and love I made sure I paid my respects to all those people and things that made me feel that way. I'm glad I got to meet the few people that are my family, spending even those few hours with them was the healing and energy I needed to keep that fire of determination and hope burning. It was a crazy ass hectic time but it was worth every ounce of it to just bask in the warmth of their love, understanding, company and smiles. And the metaphorical icing on the cake was the bubbling, giggling sound of my niece. Oh man if there was any therapy that could make a heart lighter and a soul brighter it would be that aura of innocence and purity of a child that washes over you. It heals many a crack and fissure in quite the chipped heart, reminds you of the fact that there are things in this world worth living for and heck worth dying for to protect. Anyway, I guess I was the fool to expect said friend to actually turn around and notice and give a shit 'bout things. I forget people like to be wrapped up in their own world. 'Welcome to the real world' you say? Well I guess you're about as disillusioned as the rest of us, what the hell happened to people actually standing up to this shit and not taking things like this? What happened to proving crap like this is redundant and there is something to actually look forward to? I don't think our future needs more bleakness than the media and news tends to cover. Stop looking for facades, hell stop making them in the first place. How far are your facades gonna take you? To that blurry horizon that you see as your future? Ya think? I mean honestly WAKE UP!!! Nothing ever goes the way you think it will, even if you have decided that you are the master of your future, fate and destiny 'cuz you aren't. Whether you like it or not, you really aren't, things are pre-ordained and the paths you take you can think you've beaten your destiny or whatever but you wouldn't be walking it if you weren't meant to walk it. You can keep thinking whatever it is that you keep thinking to make it through the day or night, but believe you me when I say life is and WILL throw a monkey wrench into all your well planned and carefully laid out plans. As much as I'd love to the be precocious arse who says 'I told you so' I take no pleasure in anyone's misery, even if it is someone that I cannot stand.

Well I think that's enough of a start to kick start this year of posts with. They may not be as frequent, or maybe they will be, who knows it's always too early to tell as far as these things are concerned. I hope the year ahead is one filled with insight and reflection for all of ya'll, there's a lotta strife going around in this world, and as much as we love shrugging our shoulders and say too bad it's happening or this can't be helped it was expected it's about time we stopped that shrugging. You know stop and turn around and see how you can help, help in any way, size, shape or format will always make a difference. It will change a life, if not the person you're trying to help out it will change yours. And there is nothing better than change to accept and grab by the horns 'cuz change is one of those guests that likes to call on you frequently whether you're ready for it or not. Cheers everyone and here's wishing you all the very best in everything for the upcoming year.

Song(s)of the day

Song: A Message
Band/Artist: Coldplay
Album: X&Y
Release Date: June 6, Circa 2005

Song: Missing
Band/Artist: Evanescence
Album: Anywhere but Home
Release Date: November 24, Circa 2004

Remembrance and Deliverance.

The latest from my Thought Factory, lemme know what you guys think :)

Remembrance and Deliverance

I remember I remember,
Those cold harsh winters
of December.
With people and the world,
Running amok in happiness
and holiday cheer.
Putting aside differences,
Overlooking their fears.
Revisiting un-kept promises,
Reflecting upon unforeseen
consequences.
Vowing to be better,
Vowing to make changes.
Promising yet gentle,
Every demeanor, every
action;
Like the soft and gentle
snow flakes,
Falling to the ground,
Framing my window.
A reminder of all that
was built,
Of all that we had,
And of all that,
Which once is gone,
Can never come back.
While embracing the spirit
Of happiness, peace and unity,
Which brings us together.
We rush to forget however,
Scars, memories and wounds,
Stained, tattooed and branded
By the piercing, barbed,
Razor sharp blades of
difference.
Of hatred and discord.
We choose to forget,
Our past wrongs;
While searching for peace,
While looking for redemption.
Barely registering, nor
regarding,
The consequences of
our actions.
Forgetting the ease
With which it is,
That we sow the seeds
of disagreement,
Of unrest, of discord.
Forgetting the many
sacrifices,
Of life, love and home,
By those long forgotten
heroes
Who walked the treacherous
path
Towards, unity, togetherness
and hope.
The only memories of them,
Coming from faded
pictures,
And treasured photo frames.
Puffy, swollen and distant,
Red eyes…
Eyes filled with a hope,
An anticipation,
A simple expectation of
a miracle,
Only to be shattered by,
Crushing realization and
stark truths.
A realization...A hollowness
Magnified by those tear
tracks,
Appearing on many a weary
face.
With the realization of never
ever being whole.
Forgotten are they,
Like inconvenient truths;
In this jungle of facades,
Bonhomie and fake camaraderie.
In the midst of our yet to be made
Promises and vows,
And prayers for better days
and better lives,
Lets not forget those sacrifices,
Those struggles, those fights,
For peace, for unity,
And happiness unsurpassed.
Lest we take for granted,
Those precious lives whose time had
come to pass.
For they are beacons,
They are our strength,
And they are ultimately,
The very reasons,
If not the core motivation,
To do what’s right.

SJ
(Nov 12, 2010)

The Thought Mart - This week's special...The Written Word !!

Hey guys n gals...hope all is well with ya'll. Yeah I know I got a bit of a drawl goin' back there, fun things that happen while you're trying to keep your brain in check. Anyway, I had a few thoughts zipping through my head, yes I know go on roll your eyes , about a few elements of that quirky thing called life. I know you've all heard that a person is defined by the sum of their actions or at least I hope some of you have heard of it, and for those of you who haven't well I guess you learned something new today and are waltzin' outta that cocoon of ignorance society revels in today. I mean hey if you don't know 'bout it then why bother right? Besides we have enough junk we gotta know so why should we bother about knowing and learning more right? None the less, I think that we are not just the sum total of our actions, but also the sum total of our sacrifices. Now that doesn't mean we should start keeping track of all that we sacrifice, I mean for some of us that's equivalent to giving up carbs for 2 months and for others it's giving up on all those wondrous dreams to live in this moment of reality. Now I ain't no accountant with the Bank of D&K but every sacrifice besides being another step in the refinement/extraction process of who we are, it has tremendous meaning and significance in the grander scheme of things.

Besides all this fun and fascinating talk 'bout sacrifices and actions, I was recently reminded of my other job as a mere mortal, that I actually forgot about and was pretty glad forgetting about....that of being a friend. Well its not a job to me per se but in a few cases it really does seem like it, that's how much the bond is respected if not cherished. But then again, I shouldn't have expectations, like my madre says my belief in people will be the death of me. But here's where my bone of contention lies, if you don't have faith or belief or rather hope in people, then what's the point in existing? We all live by the balance of hope and faith, whether we believe it or not, its one of those involuntary things. I mean before when I'd realize that nothing changed w.r.t some people I'd be pretty bummed out, I guess I've moved on along in life as well just as they have and I think I'm glad I feel indifferent 'bout it. Now I dunno if that means the next time there's a check in at heartbreak hotel if I'm gonna be available, but I do know this for a fact...they really aren't worth my salt and if experience has taught me nething it's this that they'd be the first deserters at the scene. So, ultimate moral of the story, make sure you turn to yourself first and then to your support system. Sound crappy? Well, too bad, it's useful 'cuz of the nature of the world we live in, it's so fast past paced and perhaps ultra demanding, not to forget competitive as well in that mix that sometimes heck most times our support systems will be involved in their own battles and their problems. I guess some people just don't deserve those many chances huh? And some people just won't change from their own self-absorbing ways, so much so that if they don't receive that 'normal' bite of attention then you know then the person not giving them that attention has turned into a egotistical, narcissistic, self absorbed twat. I mean forgive me if others have a life with real problems that don't go hoverin' around your life nor your wants and needs. So instead of sitting there and claiming and declaring them to be a reflection of yourself, get our arse off that high throne and try and be useful. Try and be that 'friend' that they seek comfort in rather than being the pop up ad that people get annoyed with. Try and be a part of people's lives rather than pushing them away when your quota of 'I have everything I need and then some' is fulfilled, and only going back to them when that dream pops like a soap bubble and you need to find your bearings. I mean honestly have we fallen so much that we don't value everything we have? And only choose to value a few things when the time is right? Next thing you know it'll be valued when the price is right *rolls eyes*, I mean hey it is a scary thought isn't it? To be evaluated by how much you are worth monetarily rather than what you're worth as a person. Perhaps it is my naivety that's bellowing itself out here, but hey that thought does make me sick.

Okay now I feel like that Ask Aunt Alice column from Young Times, for those of you who aren't familiar with Young Times, it used to be and I think still is, this magazine for kids that came once a week, I think Tuesdays, with the paper.

I had the randomest memory w.r.t Young Times the other day, while watching Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman. On one of the episodes they mentioned "Pen Pals" while that had a completely different connotation on the show, well it referred to cell mates and other convicts in prison, it reminded me of this section that the magazine used to have. It brought a smile to my face, 'cuz to me now the concept I guess seems so far fetched to think back to, especially in this day and age where everything is a clikkity clak away. That also reminded me of my English and Hindi classes where we learned how to write formal letters and how to start the letters and the differences between formal and informal letters and how to end those letters. It makes me wonder if this fast paced progress of ours has made us forget the art of writing. Writing goes far beyond being a skill or talent someone has or a gift someone has. It's the thing that brings all of us together, it binds us, our thoughts, dreams and visions. And the beauty of it all is that each and every one of us are blessed with it, we just don't exercise it enough I guess. Doesn't mean that everyone has to go write poetry or the next big novel/series of a lifetime, it just means don't ever consider yourself to be any lesser than anybody else, because everybody is different and brilliantly unique in their own way. It's just sad how we tend to lose focus on the brilliant and unique aspect and choose to instead focus on the different aspect of things. More than that we tend to use this 'difference' as a weapon and as a way to further segregate ourselves rather than as something to bring us together.

I remember last year in one of my classes, while the poor proff was droning on about amino acids I think, I wrote a poem in there and one of my colleagues/friends who read the poem said dude what the hell are you doing here? You should be doing something else, you'd be much better off spending your future writing than being here and enduring this painful nonsense. So when I responded by saying well yeah I will do it after this first journey is over, to which my colleague said 'You can't do both, you can only do one and I think you should be a writer and that this painful road is not worth it.' Maybe she had a point, maybe she didn't but see, I have a small glitch in my system, I'm the kinda person who doesn't like being relegated to one thing...my interests vary far and wide, and I personally believe that people should do whatever and everything it is that they wish to do. I'm not just saying this peepz, I don't say things I don't mean or don't do myself, in fact I'm sure my friends can attest to this attitude of mine. C'mon guys when was the last time I walked down the same old beaten path? and decided hey lets just do it this way :P. I mean heck if the G-man ain't stoppin' ya who are a few people to stop ya right?

Anyway guys, I gotta get back to more pressing issues happening back here on this fun filled journey of my future. To be honest while I do know what path I've set out on, I'm not quite sure what the end of this journey holds and whether this journey will take me to one of my biggest dreams, but hey what's life without wishing and hoping that it works out right? Thanks for riding the tour bus on this journey you guys, and I hope all is going well with all of ya!!! Good luck with everything you got coming your way this week and I hope you guys have a great week ahead!!!

Song(s) of the Day

Song: Afterglow
Singer/Band: INXS ft Sona
Album: Switch
Release Date: Circa, 2005

Song: The Animal Song
OST: The Other Sister
Album: Affirmation
Artist/Band: Savage Garden
Release Date: Circa, 1999

Mind Games - How Mental Can You Get?

Well that takes care of a load of that, I do remember starting this post earlier with something quite intensely reflective I guess, but oh well I guess one can hold onto one's reflections for only so long, be it mentally or virtually. The recent hiatus has not been due to the lack of opinions, oh trust me in this overly opinionated world that we live in I do have quite a lotta opinions, however, the hiatus ha been due to the lack of time to indulge in one of my few fav. pastimes. It's surprising how insufficient 24 hours in a day seems/feels like. Though I wonder if anytime in the near future we will have an overextension of time from 24 hours to 26 hours. I mean can you imagine like a global decree coming out declaring that 26 hours constitutes a day henceforth and that any notion or thought of a 24 hour day will be considered null and void?

Heck that sounds like something I'd see on some show on the tele or some sci-fi/fantasy thing that I'd read or watch. Anyway, I do hope things have been much better for the rest of you guys, life has been a bit tumultuous to say the least. There's this quirky thing 'bout it, in case you're wondering what 'it' refers to the 'it' refers to life in general, but yeah I was saying, it's a quirky thing 'cuz you always will learn something new about yourself and about the world around you on a daily basis. If not you will always learn that there are some solid concrete things about you that can never be changed and it just solidifies your opinions and views about yourself, regardless of how appreciative or depreciative they may be.

You know it's sad, in this world where we're on a constant search mission for heroes we tend to seek and destroy people who attempt to be heroes or rather who attempt to stand up for what the perception of a hero tends to be. I think we find it more convenient and much easier to criticize and put people down in this day and age than we did once upon a time. There's a severe shortage of appreciation coursing through anybody's veins these days, and not a lotta people are willing to have somebody else's back, and if they do, there's always more questions surrounding why a person willingly and voluntarily chooses to help or do something for someone than someone who has a personal agenda to fulfill. Whatever happened to doing things out of the 'goodness of your heart'? I'm sure evolution hasn't evolved us so far that we've lost our instinct to trust nor our instinct for compassion. I've had people ask me what the reason behind me being nice is, and I've often just responded with a confounded and astounded expression. This doesn't mean that I'm glorifying myself in any way, shape or form, heck I know I'm not a nice person, I don't need confirmations or testimonials 'bout that. But it surprises me when a kind act is questioned more than a vile or malicious one. I mean when someone dupes you and uses you as the door mat or stepping stone towards their goals it's much easier to accept it by saying 'Oh yeah I got played, but I guess that's just the way of life. Smarten up or get stabbed in the back time after time.' Why is that? Why is it easy to justify something like that over something that falls in the realm of actions that are polar opposites?

Sure my questions might seem naive, but be honest, have you never thought 'bout it? Or are people just content in being lackadaisical about living in a world where we teach future generations not the essence or richness of harmony but rather hand down that foul smelling, acrid, corrosive element of discord? It is said that the faster you know the ways of the world the faster you grow up, well you know what? I do know a few ways of the world and most of the ways I've seen are nothing short of being immature and stupid. Heck even kids know how to handle situations better than a few "grown ups" do. Nowadays people stop at nothing short of pulling their competition down, instead of growing from the air of competitiveness most people are in the mood to strike at petty, personal things and create a huge scene. It's all about drama and the theatrical flair, heck if you love drama so much, use the damn creativity to create something on the creative scene, don't waste it on being petty and bitter.

Now I know I said in the previous post I'd post up a poem, however, I haven't exactly had a lotta time to work on it, I've got it done 'bout halfway, but knowing me I might just scrap it all and set to work on a new one. None the less, it'll be up whenever it's done and done and ready, that's 'bout all I can say at the moment. Besides that, any of you people artists? Or rather, any of you peepz know how to draw? I kinda would appreciate a few pointers, I've had this entire action sequence stuck in my head and it's moving like the Max Payne bullet time sequence scenes, and yes it is getting a lil' annoying. I guess that's what a hyper-active imagination does to you for free huh? Well it is free entertainment but to me it also is something I feel the need to yank out and put on a piece of paper or sum'n. I feel like it's taking up all this space on the mental hard drive, I'm telling ya I need to get an external for the brain. I think people today get way more information than they used to once upon a time. Well, I should be on my way towards achieving sum'n if not accomplishing sum'n in my life at least for today :P, forget long term planning, that's the one kinda planning I never got into. I'm the kinda person who takes it hard when the small things don't work out at times, so imagine when the big things fall apart? :|...yeah I do admit I have a wide and expansive imagination but even that's too much for my imagination to come up with at this point in time. That's why I dream big, that way even if you get a reality check half way through dreaming you can still pick yourself up and move along. Well, you folks take care of yerselves now, and good luck with all the things coming your way :D, I'll check back in soon.

Yo Yo...Check it out...Here comes the 5-0!! ..

No no people, it's not the cops jeez...I'm not all that morally or principally devoid just yet to have them chase me down just yet lol, heck they'd prolly throw me in for an overuse of words :|. Wow, this post feels like one of those special edition milestone episodes a show reaches. Like one of those milestone 100 or 150th episode, where something special and major happens to the story line. Well fortunately or unfortunately, there's nothing special that's gonna happen here, however, episodes remind me of Smallville!!! This coming Friday, my fav. show in the cosmos will be airing it's 200th episode. My heartiest CONGRATULATIONS to the entire cast, crew and the entire team of SV that's given the fans/audience of the show such an amazing show for the past decade Okay going back to my celebratory mode for reaching the half century mark; So erm...I may have lied when I said that I didn't have anything special planned besides a regular post....this fresh from the oven called my brain, it has had a change of neuronal impulses and has decided to be the mastermind behind a poem. Well, one thing is for sure, it won't be part of this post, perhaps it shall be my next post or the one after. Either way, it won't feature on the half century celebrations.

Unfortunately folks, I might have a lil' problem with updating the virtual space on a regular basis, just 'cuz of the pace and rate at which things keep flying my way, well flying is an understatement....it's more of hurtling towards me like a meteor shower on a regular basis lol. Oh I could add so much more to that sentence, but I'm gonna hold that back for now. When I started this blog I had a completely different outlook/frame of mind, it was more of a festive excited one, I can't necessarily guarantee a fun read nor can I assure one....especially not after a week where I've had frustrating prank buzz calls from the thing outside our apartment at 9 at night saying the whackiest lewd things....seriously I wish people would respect and learn languages out of curiosity and not out of stupidity. And then my housemate and I got leered at by these really old guys/grandpas who got outta the convenience store next to our place holding them beer cans in their hand. Okay maybe I've got it wrong and give myself too much credit :P...perhaps they were leering at the malt/barley? beverage in their hands going all Gabbar Singh on it "Muahahahaha...ab mujhse bachke kahaan jaaogi Basanti?!" Actually my roomie looked like she was ready to clock the 2 old farts more than I was. Aah people, we're an interesting breed aren't we? We're walking, talking contradictions, we find it within, among and around us. Why can't we mitigate that thing called differences and put it aside and learn to grow together, we can all accomplish so much together rather than turning on one another. I know we're not all the same in terms of our strengths, characters, values and principles....but don't we all live and breathe for the same reason? Ultimately aren't we all looking for satisfaction? And aren't we all working towards a purpose? Be that purpose whatever it may be.

None the less, I have a few things I want done this weekend, one of them being the fleshing out of this scene I've had in my head for the last 2 days now, actually I should flesh out more of that story as my mind has been flashing different images for chapters to add to that story. I dunno maybe in time I might post excerpts on here I'm not sure of it just yet though, juc' 'cuz those of ya'll who know me know my penchant for words. The one thing I'm super excited 'bout though is this lil' silly thing I did over 2 days ago...I kinda got myself my Christmas present lol, well unless when I get home I get myself a few books, then that will be my christmas present at that point in time lol. So a few days ago I finally bought something I've been eying for almost the last 3 or 4 years, and, I guess I just have all those fluttery butterflies of anticipation and excitement to get my hands on my package. That way I have something more to look forward to on that yellow brick road home. You see a few years ago I stumbled across these Superman dog tags on the Christopher Reeve Foundation website, I'd keep checking it out time and again, I mean the proceeds go towards research but I hadn't felt like I earned it. I still don't feel that way 'bout it, but it's inspiration enough and sometimes all you need is that sliver and glimmer of hope to get you through. So yes I finally caved in and got it, didn't quite figure out where it was on his foundation website, however I did get it through the Warner brothers website and the proceeds are still going towards a good cause. Christopher Reeves you'll always be the greatest and the original "Superman" the world has ever known!!

A'ite kids I'm gonna head back to my world of factors causing factors and battle my own lil' battles of akademia that like to beat me down quite often. But apparently those battles didn't or I guess haven't yet realized that I wasn't born into the God of War a.k.a Ares' time of the year for no reason. I mean we do put up quite the battle skills all the way to the end....that's how we roll from start to finish. While I'm on my way out, I just had one more thing to share with you guys...this is a blog one of the most amazing and extraordinary visionaries that I'm proud to call a friend, twin and family; has been working on for I guess a year or 2 now. It's a graphic novel which I think has a lot of potential and scope. It has a very interesting story line and I think this is something very relevant in today's times; what with the very interesting political scenarios that we've seen come into play around the world. Here's the link, if my insufficient description piques your curiosity, definitely take a look though and if all is well they'll actually have a web comic up and running soon :D. Yeah I gotta make sure I get my autographs before superstar visionary status is achieved lol.

http://qwixotic.wordpress.com/

I hope you enjoy checkin' the above mentioned link out, 'cuz I know I'm a regular when it comes to reading updates, still working on being a regular commentor on there though. Can't wait for the next update :D. A'ite kids you take care, have yourself an awesome week and an even awesomer weekend. Woohoo!!! Go Smallville!!! Episode #200 I CANNOT freakin' wait...the ONLY silver lining to my accumulation of storm clouds, and one of the only things pulling me through the week. Take care people and good luck with anything and everything you have coming your way this week or the upcoming week, I for a fact know you might actually have a poem headed your way...that's right head for the hills duck under your table before the visual onslaught gets you :P.

Song(s) of the Day:

Song: Save Me From Myself
Artist/Band: Parker Theory
Album: A Reason To Believe
Release Date: April 28, Circa 2009

Song: Pehli Nazar Mein
OST: Race
Release Date: Circa, 2008

Public Privacy? Yeah that dun' make sense to me either

Well whaddaya know, its been a while since I posted on here. Though, to be honest I was gonna post on the 30th of September and then on the 1st but everytime I opened up the tab to write up a new Post, something came up and I got side-tracked. Now for those of you who know me, well u guys know how easily side-tracked I can get, and for those of you who don't know me then I guess you learned something new about me. Well, as those thinkers used to say/still do say or at least are quoted most of the time, its always good to learn something new everyday...in my opinion it needn't just be a skill or talent it can extend to learning sum'n new about people as well. You're able to peel back yet another layer of the metaphorical onion, minus the eye stinging, tear evoking sensations. And referring to the first few lines of this post, well I started it a few days ago, but things and other aspects of life came in the way, let's just say it's been a work in progress :P.

I hope things have been going well with everybody, be it akademian nuts or work or the quest for either 2 or quests for completely different reasons. So very recently, as in last week, I came across this news article on my google page, it was a teen suicide report actually. It was one of the saddest and infuriating things I remember reading. Well forgive me for skipping or adding details, but I'm just running with what I remember. Apparently this young man was a freshman at the University of Rutgers and his suicide was prompted by something his room mate posted online, and yeah a few of the major social networking sites, namely twitter, was involved with all of this as well. None the less, so this 18 year old was apparently a very quiet and to him self kinda guy who was a budding if not a brilliant violinist with quite a bright future and he was gay. Well what does him having to be gay have to do with anything? Well this kid's roomie decided it would be cool to post videos of him making out with some guy online. The kid asked his roomie if he could have the room between certain hours of the day and his roomie agreed, but, the bugger went to his friend/neighbour's place and accessed his webcam from his friend's room. 3 words is all I got for ya, WHAT THE HELL?!?! Whatever happened to the concept of respecting people's privacy? I mean forget the fact that the kid was gay, this isn't about being straight or gay, this is about not meddling into other people's lives and affairs. It's pretty simple and straightforward ya know? Do your own thing and mind your own business, I mean who died and gave you the power to go forth and pry yourself into everyone's business? Nobody should have to ever feel compelled to end their lives because of someone's brown nosing abilities, NOBODY should ever be able to have that much control or influence over one's thoughts, decisions and actions. Granted that the world we live in is a crazy and fast paced one, but that does not entitle one to decide to play the G-man and interfere heck intervene where one is not required.

And to top all of that off, the kid if not his friends wound up saying that he didn't do it because his roomie was gay but that he'd probably still do it if it was a girl that his roomie was spending some QT with. Seriously, WTF? How does that justify anything? And that's your stand on trying to claim your friend's innocence and support his apparently stupid sense of humour? Do these people not know where to draw the line between humour, pranks and reality? Well before I keep going on with my opinion out here, let me get the entire story out to you. So the young man found out about the incident 'cuz I assume everybody and their uncle checked out the social networking posts by the roomie and going by the herd mentality, rumours and bad news travels much faster than optimism these days. The kid found out and went and spoke to his RA or the dude/dudette in charge of that floor of the dorm the kid was at. He asked to be switched outta his current accomodations, though I'm unsure and unclear whether he did that after the first incident or the 2nd one. Yeah you'd think the roomie would shut up after the first incident right? Well, apparently he had the audacity to post up on the social network site that it was going down again, and that his roomie was having someone over between certain hours, and his comment/status said "I dare you to check this link out" during the hours that his roomie had company. I mean seriously? Come on!!! Life as a freshman has definitely gotta be more interesting, and why is it such a big deal as to what the person living next door does?

I'm not here for the whole Be Gay Screw Straight or Be Straight Ban Gay argument here, that's not even something I have the time, hustle nor energy to ponder, wonder, contemplate and argue about. It is what it is, people have the right to do whatever they choose to and don't need to justify their choices and actions once they've been made and taken. The need to justify should only exist if not arise while debating and weighing the pros and cons of said actions and choices. I mean once you've done what you've done you can't really go back in time and alter it, there's a no refund and no exchange policy as far as choices are concerned. What should matter most is the impact of your actions and choices, because each of these things affects people that we know, and we may not realize it but it sets about a ripple effect. At the end of all of this nonsense, there was more loss than gain for everybody involved...I mean forget the civil groups intervening, forget the justice system...look at the core of the matter. The world lost 2 budding souls, 2 thriving individuals who were about to embark on that journey to leave everlasting impressions and foot prints in the world they lived/live in. Now what do we have? 2 lost souls, one lost forever to his family and friends and the other losing out on the opportunity to realize his dreams, but the ultimate losers are the families of both these individuals. Imagine the loss, hurt, anger and pain these families are going through? Judging by how the news reports are going I'm assuming that they aren't even getting the chance to grieve the loss of a piece of their hearts and souls. It is truly heartbreaking as to what the world is capable of, and it saddens me to see the capacities and capabilities of mankind being misused for such idiotic things. It shakes me to my bones to know that we take such pleasure in breaking people and making them feel so trapped and imprisoned in this world that they live in. What do you guys think? How do you feel about all of this?

Well, on that note, I'm gonna finally end this post, as it's been in the making for an entire week, due to my inability to multi-task....and yes the akademian nuts took more prevalence than the mind flow. But, I do hope all is going well with you guys and good luck fer all your upcoming endeavours, I know you guys will kick some major arse in the days and tasks ahead. Take care and stay tuned for more drabbles as and when they come :).

Stoic Stillness

I would like to kick-start this post with a saying from the great Khalil Gibran, he was a man of great wisdom and every word of his is not without deep meaning and they are treasures worth sharing with the world.

"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars."


The last few days have been something along the lines of refractive more than reflective, I was trying to see the 'light' with the lights off, all I learned from that enlightening experience was that I could only get blinder :P. So, I turned on the light and voila gained my simple wisdom with the flick of a switch. That bit of enlightenment isn't something you sit around waiting for expectantly, but at the same time sitting and waiting for it to come on isn't gonna do much good either 'cuz you can keep waiting and you might wait a lifetime before it comes on. So what does my neither here neither there theory with an inconclusive observation have to do with my diffraction and pretty much anything? Well, for one it helped or rather I guess is still helping me through my phase, it's been something that I've been dealing with for a while actually, I just never realized how long my mind was actually at the diffractive dilemma. I guess it got tired and decided to snag my conscious into the scenario in an attempt to stem the flow of darkness and destructive capabilities that I tend to carry with me. As a response to any potential thoughts and opinions contrary to above statements, let me just say that I've witnessed, experienced and seen the trail I've left behind, not a very pretty sight, but I guess thank you for thinking otherwise...I guess one has to witness what they are capable of in order to keep themselves in check, and in order to minimize destruction. Believe that when things go outta control and outta hand and you're left there thinking, what the fuck? how, why and when? and you shake your head in disbelief, there ain't gonna be no 'Yoda' to come pull you out of your conundrums and confusion.

It's easy to say leave the past where the past is at and learn from the past to progress into the future, but honestly, how many of us leave the past behind like the past tense? I'm gonna be bold and assume hardly too many of us. I mean hell, look at the world we're living in currently people. If anything history has shown us the darkest side of ourselves ever imaginable where we've lost all form and sense of our consciences and proceeded to slaughter so many because we as people focussed more on our differences rather than the strands, threads and links that bind us together. The world is still being further divided today, and what the fuck are we all doing 'bout it? That's right, Jack Shit, I'm just as guilty as the rest of the world; the world we live in is so caught up with it's own pace and speed and need to outclass, outdo and outshine that somewhere along that line of overdoing things and ourselves we've forgotten to look at what our initial goals, dreams and targets ever were. We forget the very spark of motivation that once made us believe that life was something worth living for. Anyway, I do digress, but if we haven't learned shit from history then how do we learn from our pasts? I think I may have just contradicted myself with the history issue, 'cuz clearly in this case we HAVE forgotten our pasts and just marched on into the future making the same oopsies and whoopsies that we did before. A few years ago I decided I'd adopt the whole neither forgive nor forget routine of things, the first part of course was the hardest for me, I mean hey mi madre's analogy of the kinda person I am is that I'm the equivalent of a door-mat so I guess you can take a stab at how sorta kinda hard it was for me to not do the forgiving. So, I scrapped that plan and decided I just wouldn't give a damn about things or people anymore, I mean hey that way there's less chances of heart pieces and soul pieces of yourself being ripped to shreds, bits and pieces. You know that way, you stop yourself from being played around with, and being the universe's biggest joke, well okay universe is kinda big but hey everyone's life is their own universe....we're all galaxies and solar systems in motion. So, the genius mind of mine came up with the simplest plan just don't care and nothing can break you more than yourself. So, like the way I've been for most of my current orbitting existence, I became a shadow which wasn't too hard for me to do, 'cuz drifting along unnoticed isn't something I'm new to. What a fool I was, I hadn't realized then that either way it didn't matter 'cuz the world still kept dancing and frolicking away to it's own beat, rhythm and tune. I'm the kinda person who will find every alternative to fix something if it's broken, sadly the only thing I can't seem to fix is myself, you know they have that whole series of how to fix yourself schnazz that those self improv gurus totally profit out of? Maybe one day, some day I might write one of those books, and I'm pretty sure mine will be the non profitable one :P. I spent a few years trying to fix things so they'd go back to being what they were, never realizing I should've bid my adieu's a long time ago 'cuz those moments were never coming back. Instead I spent more time, trying harder, thinking harder, reflecting harder, banishing myself to a self imposed exile, when instead I could've used that time to build more beautiful, blossoming bridges. But oh well, what's done is done 'en it? No regrets either way though. So then why the hell am I going into such long drawn thoughts about what might be nothing to most you...well 'cuz they are my thoughts lol, that you're being subjected to read, so yeah apologies. Recently, I felt I had a chance to atone for some damage and destruction I contributed to at a time and age that feels and seems like a lifetime ago. But, the word atonement is something far easier to say and type out, than it is to process, experience and undergo. Like a happy little puppy, I grabbed onto my chance and didn't see the right hook coming, and *BAM!* knocked me off my ride and was a good reminder of that harsh light of reality that is pretty damn good at picking out the shadows.

Funny, twisted thing about life though is that it gives you that choice of either being suppressed, repressed and restricted by the weight of your sins OR to pick yourself back up with all those chains tying you down and to plow forward and break them chains one at a time until you're as free as the free-est spirit. Of where this journey will take me I'm not sure, but what I do know is that I'm probably one of the luckier shadow travellers who has a lotta love, faith and support coming from some amazing people. I've never understood why and I guess I probably never will, must be one of those cosmic mysteries that none of them astronauts and cosmonauts can solve.

Well folks, this is all I got time for at the moment, I kinda have some pending things to take care of, like the Season Premiere of Smallville :D, woohoo, Season 10 is here, which makes me both happy and sad, seeing as how this is the final season :(. You were well worth the 10 years Smallville and you will be greatly missed, at least by me...perhaps a spin-off might make me happy, but I dunno it's too early to draw any conclusions. Knowing something so amazing is coming to an end makes me sad but hey all good things must come to an end, and I hope it goes out with a fantastic bang :). Until then there's the whole season to enjoy and relish :D. Take care people, and good luck too all of ya'll for tests, exams, work issues, job hunts, hitting dead ends and rutts in life...there is a light, know it don't sit there waiting for it. Work keeps us honest to ourselves and to what and where we see ourselves, so work on seeing the light, must be a fuse problem or the wrong bulb :), but that light will shine it's way down to ya, it's a matter of the right place and the right time. Cheers.

Song(s) of the Day:

Song: One More Day
Singer/Band: VAST
Album: April
Release Date: October 16, Circa 2007

Song: Nature Boy
Singer/Band: Kerli
Album: Smallville Season 10, as featured on the Season 10 promo
Release Date: Well in all it's epic-ness, September 2010