Served Up

Essence of VD

2012-02-14T14:02:00.000-08:00

Not a cologne, perfume or any form of spraying substance/aerosol that smells nice. VD is just Vomit Day a.k.a Valentine's Day. The day that my gag reflexes are primed to maximum capacity...where cliches go beyond cheesy and corny and the colour Red finds itself used preposterously in all and any forms. Colour me green? Oh no thank you, I'm quite glad without the enhanced sickly coating...it'll just make me appear more sickly than the already pale pallor of my skin from all the blanching and retching the day has caused. The over commercialized and over advertized aspect of this day has pretty much ruined the significance of it all for me anyway...Love is not an emotion, feeling or virtue that appears once a year and then vanishes into thin air. It's something that should be celebrated every single day of your life...love is a moment, an epiphany, it's an expression, and moments, epiphanies and expressions don't happen during a 24 hour time span. I've been over this concept before, and you know what? Sometimes, there's only so much you can scream and shout about...eventually your throat gets tired of saying the same things and you just stay silent and keep your wise thoughts to yourself. However, me being the fiery Arien, apparently shutting up or shutting that voice factor down doesn't seem to be something that will happen anytime soon.

It's been a while since I've been away from home, and there's a few things you learn about yourself when you're away from everyone and everything that usually keeps you grounded and keeps you within your comfort zone (to speak of.) If you thought trying to get your parents to agree to let you do something that requires a lot of persuasion is bureaucratic in of itself, well, then let me say 'Oh boy...' you've got yourself in for quite a surprise. Well of course the rest of us see this bureaucraticness in various forms as we progress from one stage of life to another...as we progress from the training wheel stage of High School and then fall flat on our faces or asses from then on. From what I've seen, there's been a nice cut up b/w being a smooth walker and talker, and being the hermit...apparently you can't be both or the mere thought of being both is quite blasphemous. As much as I'd love to talk about the gossipers and the steady headed people (who are far too rare and far tooooo few a breed in today's world, of this I can assure you) I don't feel quite up to the task of ranting about those strangers and acquaintances. Since it's a day celebrating love, I'd rather talk about those people who I figure fall into that category of emotions that you can actually associate with them. You know the people you love, and those you love to hate 'cuz those are the ones who bring out the fine emotions of anger and hate (which I do find to be too strong an emotion, a clean & pure one though, that could slice through butter, but none the less too strong an emotion.)

Absence does make the heart grow fonder you know...that's the one thing distance has taught me. It's taught me the boundaries and limits of things that I can withstand, and it's kinda sorta given me the ability to call someone out on their BS, especially when the someone is a friend. I'm not exactly one who likes to go looking for fights, or confrontations of any sort...but being away has ebbed and chipped away at some aspects of myself that used to mean a lot to me, but now in hindsight I just look at myself and go 'You dumbass.' I mean I can't believe the things that I've done and allowed myself to be manipulated into doing under the pretext of 'friendship.' There are certain people in my life that I knew, have gotten to know and know will stick with me through thick and thin, and then there are the questionables...situational questionables who claim so and whose actions just dictate something that's entirely different from what they say.

I've often held this claim, if not notion, that back in Undergrad, there was this rather interesting individual who I met through my CT (not the scan) and who I figured would be a rather genuine and nice individual. Yeah well...talk about rerouting thoughts and opinions following interesting episodes of backstabbing...this individual drove a nice hard wedge, b/w a really good friend of mine and myself, turned against me and I became quite the villain (that's always an interesting scenario 'cuz I make a pretty badass villain :D.) I admit I felt like shit initially 'cuz you know when people whisper and send out not so subtle signals verbally and physically 'bout things, and you don't exactly feel all that sunshiney or cheery like a bowl of cheerios. Cut to a few years later...and, Oh hell yeah! I'm glad I don't have to deal with that creton anymore, Jaesus and to think I got reeled into, well to put it more aptly, suckered into doing things (to the extent of doing assignments for classes I didn't even HAVE!) for 'em I'm glad I don't have to deal with those creatures anymore. Too much drama, and very little genuinity to obtain. All quantity, no quality.

Very recently I also discovered how wonderful it was to detach from that entire group of individuals back then, if I'd have stuck around I'd be involved in more gossip and emotional baggage (that didn't belong to me) than I'd want to be part of. A few days ago I stumbled across more interesting epiphanies...there was this chick back in High School who pulled some wannabe gangsta shit on another friend, and it sorta kinda drifted on towards Undergrad. Here's the messed up part, I got cussed out for their delinquency, due to sheer association, and this delinquency snowballed into a huge freaking virtual argument. Curious part, some people involved are back to being friends and I get the blistering cold shoulder...but then again that is fantastic news for me 'cuz one less problem to worry about. I guess the other reason is probably because I have the personality of a clam, so go figure how attractive that is...unless you're some lemon juice and parsley with a hint of garlic...in which case we'd get along just fine.

Now, over the summer I had a rather interesting 'friendular' experience. An old friend visited, and, in the circle of my akademick madness I was able to make some time (which I actually covered for with a buncha reasonable excuses) 'cuz you know when old friends come into town you don't just not go see them right? Well see here's the thing, I was in the dog house with the parental unit on the akademick front 'cuz I had to head back to re-do a semester of a class in the fall, 'cuz my bloody lab T.A couldn't let go of half a point and pass me. Yes this is something I still can't seem to let go of, I don't think anything has pissed me of as much as this idiot T.A's decision. Anyway all good and terrible things do come to an end, eventually...Thankfully that class is done. So yeah, here I am in the doghouse 'cuz you know there's the thought of how obviously I didn't study hard enough or else I wouldn't have had to go back and do a semester of this monster class over again right? In the pursuit of catching up with old friend, I get counter questioned with 'Jaesus dude, aren't you done studying yet? How much more are you going to study? Time to work and settle down and all ya know?' Well here's a side note, apparently my biological and mental clock is a concern for everybody else but me. None the less I go out on a limb to meet up and catch up and drive around like an idiot around and about town or rather towns..and this is my fav part...in a message of thanks and wonderfulness and mentions of all the people that took the time and trouble out to meet, greet and visit I failed to feature on there. I'm not begging for attention, but hey thanks for the lack of acknowledgement, and thanks for playing me and utilizing the loyalist nature of my friendship. Call me petty, but yeah sorry that's not how you do things...so needless to say thanks for dropping by in my life, make sure you shut that door on your way out.

So now that the shit and grit's been dealt with, let's get to the love filled parts shall we? Being away from home has strengthened some of the greatest bonds I've shared with some of the most amazing people in the world. Even though I don't get to see them, talk to them or hang out with them as much, sometimes just hearing their voice for 5 minutes on the phone, or reading 5 lines if not 5 paragraphs of an email from them or getting blog alerts, and forwards with poems like 'Desiderata,' or conversations on Gtalk and FB have been the most uplifting, motivating and inspirational conversations I've had. They've been the right things that I needed at those very moments to make me carry on, to move forward and put one foot in front of the other to get towards my dreams. These guys have shared in my failures and victories and have NEVER turned their backs on me. Now if that's what you call love, then I'm sorry to say the 14th of February just ain't sufficient to celebrate the beautiful and wonderful people they are and the aura they carry about them, nor does it do them any justice.

On that note, vomit out the useless ones sucking you dry of your emotions, who make you think before you utter every word, who make you play out a scenario in your head before you state a decision and stop you from being and expressing who you truly are. Yupp it's Vomit Day so go ahead vomit out all the unnecessary stuff, and toxic people in your life...after all our bodies are smart enough to do that, in order to protect us, when there's something unwanted or toxic in our system so why can't we? Celebrate the beautiful and amazing people in your life who let you be who you are and stand by you, and call you out too, when you do something ridiculously stupid or when you emerge victorious in something you set out to achieve. End of the day you know that's the kinda love you want to be surrounded and nurtured by...'cuz that kinda love can withstand any test of time and any sorta distance or variable that life tosses at it. Like the words on my PJ's...Love, Peace and Happiness...people. Oh yeah, and I don't own the pix in posts, the original creators do, in this case all rights belong to softonic.com. Thanks for infusing colour and life into my post.

The Convenience Factor & Observations

2012-01-28T10:04:00.000-08:00

One of the most underrated, overlooked and overexploited attributes we live with these days is that of convenience. We conveniently forget our beginnings/roots, our friends, our principles, our values, our duties and who we are as people in an attempt to fit in, stand out, or achieve the highest pinnacle of what we consider to be success. Call me naive, a fool or even a tool, but you know it's true, and it's this convenience factor that annoys the crap outta me.

Well I'm sure that the word originally came into being to explain that which makes things easier for us, and perhaps was meant to be applied to inanimate things...Guess now it's become a way of life that applies to both the animate and inanimate sectors of life. It's sad really as to how all things that start with good intentions manage to get modified into twisted extensions of what they were originally meant to be. What gets me more is how after a while we all sit there and accept it without batting an eyelid. Saying this also doesn't mean I'm the epitome of perfection and don't overuse or abuse this convenience factor. Saying that would just make me a ruddy hypocrite now won't it? Which is something I cannot deny either...let's face it everyone in today's day and age is a hypocrite, whether they choose to publicly announce it or live with it with a strong sense of denial.

Let me elucidate just what I mean by this whole convenience factor thing I'm talking about. For instance, I find it highly insulting when people conveniently remember that I have a few (and by few I mean very few) writing skills, especially when they need help figuring out what to write for a report, letter, card, etc...you know all that crap that needs words in there. But then when I want to get an opinion on what people think of something I've written I get this 'Oh send it I'll read it and get back to you' (and they never do) response or, 'Oh yeah I don't like reading stuff much' response. Well hows about next time you have shit to write, you figure it out for yourself then? I'm sure you have a remarkable brain that can figure out how to string a few words together into sentences, 'cuz after-all isn't that your summarized version of what I do? Things in life are a 2 way street people, you need to understand that, or I need to understand that people don't deserve even a fraction of a second of my time, concern or attention as far as their lives are concerned. Just to make it clear, NO I'm not out here trying to push my writing skills, I mean think about it. If I decided to push my skills then trust me it wouldn't be a mere push, it would be a freaking shove and I'd be screaming myself hoarse from every bleeding rooftop. Clearly *sigh* I just needed to air out a few thoughts, opinions, observations and concerns.

This post isn't about evoking some latent or dormant sense of promoting world peace or unity or wonderful schnazz of the sort. If that were the point then I would be working for the UN and I wouldn't be busting my chops oceans away from home for a dream that I'm trying my damndest best to fulfill. The months away from home have brought a few things into focus, and pushed a few things out of focus as well, hence causing the blurred vision and all that jazz. Being away from home gives you a sense of things, it lets you nurture your perspective about the world that's out there, and about the people that live in that world. I know pieces of who I was have chipped away, there's things that I've lost that I can't ever regain. But a loss is not necessarily a bad thing, it's a survival and defense mechanism that slips into place anytime and every single time you encounter something out of your comfort zone. Actually being away has given me an idea of what I may perceive and perhaps want home to be. In fact, every single time I've headed home for a break, there's always been a moment where I see a shift in how I perceive my surroundings...Every time there's just that lil' extra feeling of feeling like a stranger, an outsider, a guest...like somebody who doesn't belong. They aren't in your face changes, it's always the subtle things that pop up and remind you of those changes.

I guess this journey away from home was a required class in the Life program. There's a few things I do know that I don't want attached to my life tag. I don't want to be the sucker who has to deal with all the emotional BS some people go through 'cuz they can't get their act and shit together, even if they themselves know that the BS they're talking about is absolutely ridiculous. I can't be the last person on your list of friends who gets to be used as your first choice when ludicrousness and stupidity is involved...well I would give a damn and would be involved if the same courtesies were extended this way as well. So thank you for the shut eye, plugged ear sessions, where I might as well have spoken to a wall and received the same answers that I received from you. I know I'm an ungrateful fiend, but fudgecakes and fishsticks, I don't care! (You probably might need a lotta minties after that though...I'm just saying, just in case you decided to dip those fishsticks in some garlic sauce or something)

Well in other notes and sidelines...having more than 1 blog is a rather interesting experience. Seeing how I'm trying to keep the focus strictly streamlined to my writing/creative process with my other blog, it's a little difficult sometimes, 'cuz we all know how I get carried away. Heck I proofread those posts the way I used to proofread my term papers :S....which is kinda cool 'cuz sometimes I can clearly see how the segue has nothing to do with the topic at hand. It's been entertaining trying to edit the flow of thoughts generated by brain, somedays it's super hyperactive 'cuz it has ideas for both blogs...however that hyperactivity seems to kick in most, around exam time...which kinda is a bummer. None the less there are a few projects I'm contemplating working on, and it should be interesting to see how they turn out, well depending on if they ever do. At the moment though, working on both blogs feels like I have a dual personality, so while working on 1 I'm consciously editing out anything that might be more pertinent to the other one. I wouldn't be surprised if I wound up being diagnosed with schizophrenia or dissociative identity disorder one of these days.

Well on that note people, have yourselves a wonderful weekend and have a fun time recharging for the week ahead. The next time you interact with someone, try and be genuine in your interactions and try not to think of them as a means to an end....we all are human after all and we have that thing that the mesolimbic system heads up called emotions that tend to get in the way. Yeah and when that crappy thing called emotions gets in the way it's a real pain in the arse 'cuz it makes you think, evaluate, re-evaluate, ponder, reflect and go outta your mind. Don't do that to yourself; save yourself the trouble and try and add essence of genuinity in the way you conduct yourself...and making people feel like a convenience rather than someone worthy of your time and attention gives rise to some serious self-image, self-esteem and self-respect issues. Now that's something you do not want future generations to learn from us, the worst fatalities of such issues are children, and the earlier they start having these self-esteem issues the harder it gets for them to deal with obstacles and challenges that life serves up. To be one with the world, you gotta find if not create that one connection that will allow the world to sync with you...so either find it or create it.

Transitioning Trials

2012-01-19T16:49:00.000-08:00

It's all about change...everything in life always is about change. Without change we'd cease to exist...it's strange but true, the wheels of change are always spinning despite our ignorance, our actions and the consequences of those actions. Now, since I started with such a grand opening statement you'd think I'd have something worthwhile to talk about...yeah..no don't get your hopes up too much there folks. This is me taking a break from the brain bashing I've been undergoing...as much as I'd love to talk about the uncertainty and nervousness said brain bashing exercises are eliciting within, I guess I'll probably save that for another time.

None the less, before I get carried away with too many tangents, I just wanted to make a brief little announcement of sorts. As you all know, I do love wreaking this verbal havoc upon everyone, and so as a result of all that carnage I have decided to expand my blog frontiers. In not so many words, I've started up a blog out at WordPress, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna shut this one out anytime soon, or phase it out for that matter. This year I made a decision of sorts, I'm looking to push my writing a little more, a little more expression, cross a few more boundaries and limits. The blog on WordPress will consist of my inane ramblings, but, it will be more or less for my creative compilations, like my poetry....perhaps my reviews and perhaps stories. I'm still contemplating the story idea, 'cuz let's face it who is gonna sit there and read through a maelstrom of words? I've always had plans as far as my writing was concerned, in terms of completing a set number of poems or at least one story on a yearly basis...but last year after completing a few interesting and unanticipated ideas I decided that this year I just had to try something new...probably something unexpected as well.

So, for those of you who might be interested slightly (hell even if you aren't)...I'll be posting my personal compositions/compilations on there, and feel free to check it out and leave me some feedback. It's gonna take a little time to set up just because I'm in the middle of quite a few things *insert final exam prep*, but it definitely is a fun project for me to work on when I take my study breaks. The link to my other blog is as follows;

http://thotfaktoree.wordpress.com

It's a fascinating yet scary endeavor of sorts for me, but hey it's my first creative adventure for 2012, so I guess that definitely is something to celebrate. Oh and if you're heaving a sigh of relief and going *phew no more of this ranting and rambling here*...ain't happening bub!!! None the less, I just wanted to cue you guys in to this mini update, and I hope you'll join me on this fun adventure out there on WordPress. It'll be a slow and steady process, key words being 'slow' and 'steady.' Updates might take a while on there, but it definitely will happen! I hope you're all having a fantastic week, and hey guess what?! Friday's almost here, and for some of you Friday is already here...so celebrate the Festive Friday spirit and have yourselves a wonderful weekend!!!

Ps: I still don't own any of these images, the creators who make my life easier created 'em. Thank you creators!

Iris

2012-01-16T12:26:00.000-08:00

Allo allo people! I'm back, yet again!...So...don't groan and roll your eyes...again. Apparently I've been bitten by a bug of sorts, that's causing me to process and produce words out on to my virtual canvas/slate, more often than I have in the recent past. Now this post isn't about that awesome and classic Goo Goo Dolls song titled 'Iris' but it definitely had a role to play with this composition. This post is actually a poem, well in all honesty it's a chapter to a story I've been working on. I'm not sure if you folks remember the post I had on here last year titled 'Numb' which was also a poem & chapter to that story. So without any further delay, I give you 'Iris-Through the Looking Glass' yet another installment of Bells & Whistles. Definitely lemme know what you guys think and have an awesome week up ahead!

Iris

Chills…

Prickling chills.

Seeking their little
thrills,

Down my spine.

Down through my soul,

Wherein lay a void,

A big gaping hole…

A vice icy grip,

Around a heart;

That lay there…

Broken, shattered,

Crushed and scattered.

It lay around,

Waiting to be collected,

Or else dispersed
and blown…

Out there, into the
unknown.

Shrouding and clouding
my sanity;

Yet, the only welcome
reprieve,

During days so bleak.

Wherein neither heart,

Nor mind,

Had a voice of it’s own to
speak.

The only ember,

The only spark,

That breathed life…

A fire fanning itself,

Into a will…so broken by
defeat,

So overwhelmed, by
failure.

A spark that stoked the
fires,

Till they were raging;

Seeking and screaming!

To fight back!

To never accept defeat.

To reclaim once again,

What once was,

What once belonged.

And to once again,

Walk the path of that road,

Which was meant to be,

And best meant for me.

SJ

Oh and one more thing! Yes copyright conundrums and all, I don't own the pix that I upload on here...I don't have those fancy shutterbug skills yet, so please don't get yer knickers in a knot for use of images. Thank you original creator of these wonderful visual aids/pix for enhancing the personality of my posts.

The Misfit

2012-01-14T09:18:00.000-08:00

Hey people, here's the 1st creative creation from 2012, just thought I'd share it with ya'll. It's a culmination of thoughts that were brewing through my head last night, and believe me, I was half tempted to write another post but sleep got the better of me. None the less, I hope you guys enjoy it, and those of you'll who check this out on Wattpad, I guess it's nothing new :P, but hey thanks for the curiosity factor. Comments and feedback are always appreciated! Have a fantastic weekend peepz!

Life always tosses you around,

Like a leaf in the wind.

Unknown to any,

To many, or to all.

Make your way!

Find your path!

They scream, they chant,

they say.

With no conviction,

Nor belief,

Nor compassion,

In the words they say.

It's all easier said than done

really,

When you try to make

your own way.

When you try to fit in,

With, all those other dancing
leaves in the wind.

Nobody forewarns you;

Of the mockery, the isolation,

The ridicule, the ignorance

Nor the hours of contemplation,

Spent on introspection,

And reflection.

I thought it would change

with time,

Perhaps they would see me

for me,

And accept me as one of their

kind.

But somehow, anyhow

That never happened,

I could never be, nor belong,

I assumed then,

That through the long and short

of it,

Through the thick, and, thin

of it,

Only fools could fail to see,

How unique we all are,

and can be.

And so,

Somewhere between seeing

and believing

I emerged,

I saw myself rise, reach out

and fly.

And realized that,

One is perfect company.

You don't need,

A murder of crows,

Nor a gaggle of geese,

To be who you are,

Or to dare to see the dreams,

That, you see.

You are, who you are,

Not because of your company,

But because of who,

And what you choose to be.

Live your life,

The way you wish it to be.

Because nobody else lives,

feels or senses,

Your life the way you live,

breathe and see it.

Like the words of an old song,

Live long, stay strong,

And be yourself,

Even when nobody else dares,

Or, chooses to be.

The Blankness of being Blank

2012-01-13T11:08:00.000-08:00

Blank pages, blank spaces, blank minds, blank walls....yeah right about now there are a lotta blanks that need filling up in my head space...or well another way to put it, my mind feels rather blank. You know these past few days I've been crossing paths with a few interesting people, who are rather interesting specimens of the species we belong to. I wish there were application forms or rather criteria for these specimens to talk to me, ugh *shudder*, they reek of attitude and mental games. You sense that toxic aura miles or rather kilometers away, and you know if they approach you for a conversation then it's not about how you're doing or how things have been going...rather you know it's a business transaction is on it's way as well, and you know that's gonna be quite a show to catch.

It's amazing how people perceive you to be a certain way, think they can play you...well actually they're thinking way ahead of that a'ready 'cuz they think they've already played you (which is always interesting), and they think you buy their crap and will go along with what they say. Oh and boy oh boy do they pull out all the stops to make you work with 'em, because they think or rather they feel that they know you'll do what they want. Aah the power of the mind, it really is something to admire...I just wish it could be used for more useful things and acquisitions in the world. Alas, that's like wishing for a unicorn on your 7th birthday and ending up with a dress...2 entirely different realms of what you want and what you get. I was really contemplating calling this kid out on their game, but then that would ruin the entire performance, and I do love me a performance...if it's good. Makes me wonder, why I haven't steered myself into the Entertainment sector yet...perhaps it's coming soon...like the apocalypse...Oh dear wouldn't that be apocalyptic? Well me going into the Entertainment industry would be apocalyptic 'cuz it would mean we have truly run out of entertainers and now any Tom, Dick or Harry or Tara, Debbie or Harriet can waltz right in off the streets and call themselves an entertainer.

As you can tell I've had quite a riveting week...being preoccupied by other sleep stealing things and being a partial insomniac (well let's see how long that lasts before I make the full transformation) and brain popping headaches...Now with all of that, all you need to spice up your life are annoying runts. One of the other things that I solemnly swore to do this year is to not waste time with people, people who are just consumed and obsessed with themselves. I guess in a way I don't wanna put up with me either...woohoo! But yeah I think I've wasted enough time over such people in the form of strangers, acquaintances and friends and I really don't have the mental or soul space for that sorta rubbish anymore. I guess normal people have already reached that plateau phase, unlike me. Oh well better late than never right? I have been told about my guppy personality, I guess it's time for the guppy to not be a guppy anymore and probably progress to being a Clownfish or something, no not a freaking Goldfish. Talk about getting a headstart on my medical career, might as well deal with the yahoos now, get used to 'em and find a way to deal with 'em so they don't exactly get to screw with the head or heart per-se.

In addition to fishy people and fishes and fun things of the sort, the beginning of the year has been a sensational one!!! I've stumbled across books that absolutely rock!!! Well I guess it was inevitable...ever since I read that Rizzoli & Isles was based off of a series of books, oh believe you me, I've wanted to read those books, and now almost 2 years later I've got my hands on 'em!!! What amazing books!!! This is from one of my favourite genres too so just adds to the awesomesauce category of things in life. Tess Gerritsen is just freaking awesome, and she gets you hooked into the characters and plot lines right from the get-go. I'm also looking forward to reading Patricia Cornwell's 'Red Mist'...of course I'd have to re-visit all the books she's written, it's been such a long damn time since I read her books. I'm also looking forward to reading 'The Night Circus' and this other book that's been making news circuits...'The Immortals of Meluha'...it's piqued my curiosity quite a bit, no I haven't Wiki'd it yet, but I hear it's a trilogy and has something to do with Lord Shiva. Well you know me, if I find out anymore info about it I will let you know, and if I do get to read it then you'll get my take on it as well.

Yes, so as you can see, TNT (specific mentions to both Leverage and Rizzoli & Isles, most amazing shows EVER!!! Well you all know 'bout my soft corner for Leverage!!), Tess Gerritsen and an overactive brain have been a source of inspiration, or at least have tried to be a source of inspiration during these crazy times. Actually what's been a tad more fascinating has been the lil' swirlies of ideas twirling around in my head for stories. I haven't been able to spend my time checking out as many tele shows or movies 'cuz time ain't exactly something that's on my side at the moment. I find it quite fascinating as to what people turn to for inspiration...well I'm amused by what inspires me the most during times I need maximal inspiration and motivation, and I'm curious to know what gets your engines all revved up and going.

Well I guess that's it for now, just had a moment and wanted to rant 'bout annoying people who are full of shit and know it. I hope you folks have a fantastic Friday and hey don't be hating the 13th, it's a fantastic and magical number, fantastic things have happened on the 13th you know. Just 'cuz it's the 13th doesn't mean you're going to have a wonky or whacked out day, so just be cool and do things the way you normally do. Have an awesome weekend and you never know, you might find me back on here soon enough...well hopefully not too soon 'cuz then that would mean I'm procrastinating a lot, and I don't think that's a very smart thing to do at the moment. Cheers! Until next time people!

Friendly reminder: I don't own these pictures, the creative geniuses who came up with 'em do. I just like adding 'em along to add a lil' more flavour, spice, colour and personality to my posts.

Jingle sleighs, Merry bells & Preposterously Prosperous New Year wishes!

2012-01-08T12:52:00.000-08:00

So I take it after some reflection most of you have resolved to stick to a few resolutions, for better or for worse? Well that makes them resolutions sound about as purposeful and meaningful as wedding vows now don't it? Thankfully I didn't get into this post the few days ago that I actually started it, then I'd actually have no clue what I had started off on. However, I did have to write it 'cuz I got the kickass title of this post in my head as I was counting sheep trying to sleep, or rather jetlag was drawing me far into that land of blissful sleep.

Well that was until I was up about 2 hours later and couldn't go back to sleep until 4 hours from then. Mind you when I woke up it started getting dark, and this was around 12:30 in the afternoon. One of the few things I absolutely dislike about this wretched place (well my stance on the place stands to change, probably with time or when I get outta here) but for the time being it is a wretched place. Don't you dare start with 3rd world scenarios nor scenarios of mass genocide or anything else to tell me I'm in a b8r place. I am exactly where I'm supposed to be in this time frame and in this particular dimension...the other dimensions, well the other me's know where I'm at and what I'm doing at those particular points in time.

None the less, I wish you all a very happy and joyous 2012! It's not the end of the world, yet. The world ends on an almost daily basis, we don't need a specific day, time or calendar to tell us when it will end. Grim fact of life, every other day there's a piece within each of us, and sometimes the whole individual itself, who dies. Sometimes, our life force ceases, only to re-culminate and be recreated into something else. I'm a believer in that whole reincarnation jazz. I like thinking that life continues, whether you're aware of it or not. Perhaps it's the idealist in me, if not the dreamer and wishful thinker...but believing in something like that keeps me optimistic and at times focused at the tasks I want to do and get done, to make at least this journey as memorable as possible.

So here's to a year full of opportunities...not just you know the career oriented/goal oriented ones, but also those related to self-discovery, stronger bonds and ties to those that matter the most et al. I'd say try and live life with no regrets, but let's talk about more plausible things haha...there's gonna be moments you regret, but that's okay ya know? It's a part and parcel of life, nobody ever lives life perfectly, despite people's perceptions, we all do things that make us roll our eyes at ourselves and go 'Wow I can't believe I did that, what an idiot!' It's alright, accept your regrets, but don't dwell on them too much...what's the point in picking on a scab and not letting your wound(s) heal and in the process inflicting more pain upon yourself? Might as well let the thing heal or let that damn scar form, at least it's painless and you can look at it and maybe grimace initially, but then you'll just learn to live with it later and at times completely forget about it. Oh but fair warning, know that there are some people who love to remind you of your regrets, don't take it to heart, the less you tend to react, the more bored they'll get and stop bugging you 'bout it. But if they don't cease, then they obviously have a mental issue that needs medical attention, so you can heave a sigh of relief and disregard them indefinitely.

Try doing a few things this year that you've wanted to, like taking that road-trip you promised yourself you would go on, or, looking up that program in school you were always interested in but you never thought of looking into 'cuz everyone else laughed at it and considered it to be silly, useless and a waste of time and money. Or go tap into that inner 'Little Chef' of yours and go crazy whipping dishes (well try with small amounts, at least if the first experiment is an utter failure you won't have to waste a whole ton of food right?) left, right and centre, or take up a sport or extra curricular activity you've always thought about from time to time but just never considered it to be the right time to indulge in it. Indulging in those little quirks of your personality is like indulging in some heavenly Lindt chocolates (dammit I miss those chocolates!) or indulging in the most decadent dessert you've had the luxury of indulging in.

I'm not quite sure what the year ahead holds for me, hopefully, this will be the year a few of my spine cracking efforts actually bear fruit. Though, there's a common notion that I don't put in all that much spine cracking effort...trust me after sitting in certain designated spots for remarkably extended periods of time you need to crack that dang spine or else you'll have the worst back-ache of your life (I speak from experience, and hours of being hunched over things). I'm not sure how far or just how enthusiastic the writer in me will be this year to churn out pieces of verbal carnage. It's true that towards the end of 2011, after completing one of the stories/scripts closest to my heart, I had decided I'd stop writing. The decision stemmed from the feeling that there was no more juice left within and that I had lost my ability to string words together to form sensible if not coherent sentences that struck a chord with people. So let's just say that the writing this year will definitely be a work in progress, hopefully it'll be an inspirational year.

Well on that note, I'd like to thank all of you, who have taken a moment of your time to swing by and visit this canvas of words, for stopping by. Whether you love it or hate it, it means a lot to (dare-I-say) a writer if not a pseudo-writer, that someone's cruised by and read these words. Hopefully you'll stick around with me as long as this blog-ful journey lasts and you'll definitely have a few words of wisdom or criticism to impart. Welcome to the other side of 2012 folks, and I'd like to end this blog with my motto for 2012. Yes I don't have resolutions, just random strange mottoes that come to me before I sleep...thankfully my Apple gadget was close by for me to jot these lines down, or else I would've forgotten it by the time I took the express from la-la land to the land of the living and conscious. So, this year I'm...

All about the passion,

Not so much about fashion,

All for egos clashing,

And all about being oh so dashing!

Hell yeah! Well about the fashion, those of you who know me know my fashion sense is equivalent to that of an emu's or a penguin's really...so don't see that changing this year. I guess some things in life are about as constant as say Kepler's constant or the acceleration due to gravity. So, on that note, have a fantastic time celebrating and coming off that New Year high, and, have an amazing time celebrating your plans and steps towards getting closer to those dreams, goals and achievements. May your enthusiasm and spiritedness be your steadfast allies through the coming days, weeks and months!!

And no I don't own images I post in these posts, so these images are the property of those creative and brilliant enough to come up with them.

The Conflicted Conscience

2011-12-28T13:13:00.000-08:00

Hey guys and gals...just posting up one of my new creations on here, nothing too fancy shmancy, and as always, the mantra's the same --> feedback is much appreciated so leave some at your own risk...Have a fantastic holiday season!

Conflicted Conscience

We reflect,
We wonder;
We spend all our
glorious time,
And moments,
Sitting around to
ponder.
Worrying about,
The hows, and whys;
And the maybes,
and sometimes.
Even those annoying
what ifs find a way to cross,
Our ever tangled minds.
Despite the epiphanies,
And conclusions,
And oh so many countless
resolutions...
We never seem to
move on;
Nor, proceed in the
Supposed right direction.
We still drift,
As clueless, aimless
And directionless,
As leaves, dancing
In the confused melody
Of the winds.
We swear, we promise,
Never again, to waste,
Our precious time,
In such fruitless endeavours.
Where, we seem to be,
The only ones who see,
Rather, who choose to see,
What’s become of us,
And those around us,
And seek answers,
To the inexplicable nature,
Of people,
Of friends,
Of emotions,
Of thoughts,
And of life.
How is it a gift?
When it is born
Out of nothing,
Does nothing,
And resolves nothing?
How can we be free?
When our thoughts,
Our wishes,
Our dreams,
Our visions,
And our beliefs,
Seem to always clash,
And be in a state of
conflict,
With the people we are,
And the people we,
Try to blend in with,
And try to be?

SJ

Staccato

2011-12-23T09:26:00.000-08:00

These past few days, there have been countless things that have been competing and racing for a spot as far as my attention is concerned, just so that I can channel and focus in on one of 'em and write an elaborate post 'bout the winning thought. Unfortunately, my brain patterns have been very much like the title of this post...well actually that's not a very unfortunate thing, but you know after a while all you hear or rather sense are short bursts of sharp thoughts that have no musical tone whatsoever. Every time I've sat down to dish out something to post on here all I get is a collective piece of staccato notes expressing themselves, and sounding rather dissonant at times.

The past few weeks have zoomed by so fast, that now when I sit down to try and think back to what it was my heart was set on to write about, I can't seem to remember any of them. I attribute this to a general sense of laziness and perhaps a lack of interest in the world and people around and next to me, that seems to have crept up on me. Actually after finishing up my 2nd story (which still needs a little tweaking, there's a little something missing that I haven't had the heart to churn up just yet) I felt perhaps it was the best time to step away from writing. Writing is an art form for those with visions and dreams that can be expressed and delivered in the simplest of hands without the complexity of diction. And me? Well simplicity hasn't exactly been my cuppa tea or coffee, I can't even express the simple action of someone walking out the door exactly as that, it always needs a little more dressing than necessary. But it's been a fun ride so far, so I guess who knows what happens next. I was gonna say maybe next year I'll change my opinion 'bout writing and I might invade the writing pad with a barrage of words...but then again the new year has just a few more days left to go.

It's been a good time, a fortunate time and a thankful one at that as well. The upcoming year is one with definitely a lot of changes, it's just one of those things you can sense in the ether, so all I have to say is look forward to grabbing things by the horns or get outta the way if it seems to be charging towards you at a pace you can't compute or handle...I mean think about it logically, if there's a raging, charging bull coming at you would you stand in front of it and say 'Gee I'm gonna grab it's horns and jump on it's back' or are you gonna get outta the way 'cuz you love your life way too much and doing anything else is just plain stupid? There's a lot of stuff that's made me reflect and internalize things a little too much, internalization is something that I really have to stop doing. Nobody internalizes as much, at least not to the extent I do. It's good at times, but at other times it eats away at you so much, that in a few years time you will turn out like an apple core. You won't even realize how it happened or when it happened, all you'll become is that disjointed browning core. It's a real pain in the arse too because nobody else cares nor is bothered to know what you discovered about yourself, and by the time you finish and come to that epiphany about yourself your brain doesn't care either. It snorts and says 'I told you so'...internalize so as to keep your own self true to yourself, not otherwise, or else you'll turn into your own worst nightmare.

Oh and another epic conclusion for the year would be, the world really is filled with billions of ignorant people, who hold on to notions and conclusions passed down from generations and don't really care to look around and soak up a little more about the world around them. I could do a continent by continent analysis but there are a few I haven't been to yet...but the other ones I've been to I can summarize. But then what's the point? It's not like people are going to start changing the way they see things or approach things. The only time anyone thinks or feels others are ignorant is when they have been affronted on a personal level. It really irritates me how little people know about the world we live in, and knowing the little that they do know how they make complete asses and fools of themselves by trying to glorify their knowledge by stating all the wrong things and thinking nobody else knows what they're talking about. Given this day and age you would think people would know better than to state things without double checking with 'Google' right?

Well not everything has been so disappointing, did I mention how I have finished 2 stories??!! I mean it's a whole 2 stories! That's never happened before, so in a way I guess I can still surprise myself :D. Other than that I've got this internal craving to read up on Indian History, my knowledge on the subject seems to be diminishing and going away from me. There are some things in life that we abhor at a young age because we're forced to go through the motions and learn things...but then with time an interest is culminated and the spark of curiosity ignites the fire of thirst for knowledge. That's when you genuinely get interested in wanting to know what actually happened and wanting to know how things came to be. Off late I've been wanting to get my hands on some poetry, maybe philosophy and definitely world history. Well pretty much get my hands on a book, yes e-books are available and all but I'm a huge fan of the old school way of having a book in your hand, where you can turn the pages and enjoy if not savour every delectable word on every page. It's just something beautiful in it's own way. Upon expressing this desire to my folks the response was, you don't have time to read other useless things, just read the books you need to for school...*sigh*...of course, being the rebel I am, there was a defiant 'NO' that emanated from within and was expressed. All I got in response to that was a few tuts and 'tsk tsks' and amusing laughs at my defiance. Their support of the rebel is always so amusing and entertaining lol.

In addition to being writer extraordinaire and all of that, other great and wonderful things that happened included heart warming reunions with people I cherish, getting news that makes your whole world spin outta excitement and happiness (yesss!!! this was definitely the news I wasn't anticipating but it's the best thing I could've heard in all these months :)...so keeping my fingers and toes crossed) and I think finally getting a handle on being the 3 AM friend. I can't believe I wasted my time listening to some boring drama that I could've read up elsewhere or watched elsewhere and figured out, next time don't worry I have a solution for your problem...'I'm sleepy and tired find someone else to talk to' OR 'I know the number for this great & awesome person who charges by the hour and session to listen, analyze and give you perfect advice and I'm not sure if OHIP covers it, but make sure you get a referral via your family physician!' This one way street of friendship just found it's 'Dead end' and termination zone. I have problems and concerns of my own that may just bury me alive while I'm walking and working through 'em.

Well I've gone on a little more than necessary, it's not really as staccato-ish as a staccato note tends to be. Well 'tis that time of the year, so merry wishes and good cheer to you all and have a fantastic and heart and soul warming time with the people that matter the most to you. Really...don't waste your time with those who don't value it, you'll be glad you didn't. Don't make resolutions...resolve to do things, as it will add more character to the things you do and it will keep you moving forward. All you need is a little resolve, despite everything that comes your way, your resolve will be the burning fire that will push you forward and get you closer to your dreams. Merry Christmas everyone and I hope Santa has a little something for all of you!

Rockstar - A Review

2011-11-30T12:28:00.001-08:00

Firstly, where the hell are the rocks at?! Let me make this easy and summarize the entire review of this movie into one word - CRAP. Well that's just my humble opinion, this movie was such an utter and absolute waste of time. I literally had to take a freaking break every 10-15 minutes of this movie. I'm really disappointed with the fare Imtiaz Ali has come up with this time. 'Jab We Met' was a whole lotta fun, I didn't really enjoy 'Love Aaj Kal' all that much, it was entertaining but nothing to write home about...but in all honesty, looking back 'Love Aaj Kal' was waaayyyyy better than this torturous movie. This movie definitely goes into the crap bucket of 2011 movies.

As much as I'd like to give you a preview of the story, after watching this movie I'm not quite sure what the main premise of the story is supposed to be. Before watching the movie I assumed it was supposed to be a look into music, the passion, the turmoil, the angst, the very notes that make music and a musician rise and soar. I thought it was gonna b a look into the life of a Rockstar, well in this case an Indi-rocker and the whole love, sex, drugs aspect of the rockstar life, from the Hindi film industry's perspective. The rock genre of music is something that's thriving in the Subcontinent, and you'd be quite amazed and impressed with the rock bands you find out there. I haven't really immersed myself in that scene yet, mostly due to being critically and permanently traumatized by my brother's live shower-time performances from the bathroom...those things kinda tend to have a lifelong impact on you.

There was way too much the screenplay was trying to achieve and I found it to be highly disjointed, disruptive and irregular. Imtiaz Ali would've definitely had a fantastic script and movie at his hands, if it hadn't been for the way the entire damn screenplay was organized or in this case disorganized. For a movie about music, it is quintessential that the story have soul, because music is nothing without soul...if music had no soul then it would be like burnt toast, charred and far beyond comprehension for any of the senses. The beauty of music lies in it's ability to seep and soak through each and every single pore of your mind and body, without considering or paying any attention to trivial things like language. This entire movie though, seemed to be filled with horcruxes, with pieces of the story's soul dispersed here, there and everywhere.

As far as the soundtrack of the film is concerned, well hey it's by A.R. Rahman so the expectations will always be high and people without batting an eyelid will tell you it's AWESOME. The soundtrack is a'ite for an A.R Rahman fare, there were very few songs that caught my attention. Maybe it's one of those soundtracks I need to listen to more often or something in order for it to have any impact. There's probably 2 or 3 songs that I probably like from the entire soundtrack, like I said I might have to give the rest a more patient sit through. That being said though, I am disappointed with the soundtrack of Rockstar...Somehow since 'Rang De Basanti' and probably even 'Guru' there's been a bit of a plateau that the maestro seems to have hit with his compositions. No I did not enjoy the 'Slumdog Millionaire' soundtrack, all though we all love saying 'Jai Ho' at any given moment or occasion, nor did I think the movie was outstanding (that's a whole other issue though). There's something amiss from this track, now I don't know if it's cuz of a Mohit Chauhan (whose songs I do love listening to) overdose or not, but it just feels like a very incomplete and abrupt soundtrack. None the less, my song picks from this soundtrack include,

- 'The Dichotomy of Fame'
- 'Nadaan Parinde'

In terms of performances, they were strictly okay to grating on the nerves. Ranbir Kapoor was a'ite, he was bearable and at times was irritating, I don't know I didn't see the whole 'OMG it's his career best performance yet!!' that people seem to be harping about. I do feel bad for the chap, it would've been great if the movie had a great and solid storyline. Nargis Fakhri...oh boy, well she's got a ways to go that's for sure, she definitely has to work on a few things...perhaps working on those facial expressions and easing up on the dialogue delivery in future films will be fantastic, and not screaming so much. Don't want to over-criticize her in her first film, but I think she just needs a few more projects to get a tad more comfortable in front of them cameras.

Best things about the movie? Well first of all...my FAVORITE thing about the movie was seeing the awesome and amazing Late Shri Shammi Kapoor sir in this movie. Next in line would probably have to be the publicity posters...they are pretty awesome in terms of art concept and all. Yet another cool thing shown in this flick, which I think is a first of it's kind, is portraying and showcasing a Kashmiri Pandit wedding. It definitely was one of the coolest things I've seen! You get to see and learn a few new things I guess.

Well I had to share my take on the 2 hours and 40 minutes of my life that were lost over a span of a day just to watch this movie. Well that's that from the 'Thot Facktoree', here's to optimism and looking forward to substantial entertainment and not half baked goods in the name of entertainment, and those of you who watched this flick do let me know what you thought about the flick. I'd love to hear what you have to say about the movie! Thanks for tuning into another bullet review!

Disclaimers w.r.t copyright laws and schnazz goes in here, I do not own these images, Shree Ashtavinayak, T-Series, Imtiaz Ali and Eros International own the rights to this flick and the posters and everything else...except my opinions.

Resonance

2011-11-15T03:22:00.001-08:00

I had quite a sobering thought yesterday/last night, and perhaps I should've acted on it then and posted it on here right then. It was a battle between exhaustion and writing, clearly the z's won out. That's probably why my thoughts are currently a little more diluted than it was last night and so it doesn't have as much of a resonating effect on me as it did last night.

Just how honest are we being with ourselves or with life for that matter, if there's this absolutely huge hollow space within us, a void, an abyss of nothingness that's been shrieking, crying and screaming for years on end? Those screams set every molecule on fire, and get your hairs to stand on end, yet all you can do is either choose to ignore it and let it live long and prosper or cave in and handle what happens when you fall into the abyss. Either way, are you living a complete and fulfilling life? Or have you just mastered the art of compromise? This hollowness within can swallow you whole, drive you insane and give you insight...it's a brand whose burden and weight apparently only the bearer can withstand.

Which leaves me with that quandry, is this entire thing that's happened so far a lie, where my neuronal networks have just fired together and learned to compensate and now respond to various visual, auditory and tactile stimuli on autopilot as a result of all the compensation that's happened over years? Or are my responses individual and novel and not generated on an autopilot basis? The mind is a real fantastic and freaky place, it's power of suppression is beyond comprehension, in my humble opinion, as to date. We haven't even been able to tap into that aspect yet...I think if we did we'd have some novel forms of therapy for those of us broken beyond repair, and in general probably rebooting our entire mental framework. It would be a breakthrough, but then again like everything in life there are pros and cons. You'd either end up with people hell bent on mind control and zombies/droids or you'd end up with a world of thinkers and doers, people who would be given that chance to move on and achieve whatever they're capable of.

But then again...all that's suppressed and repressed always finds a way out, and when it does...well I guess that's something for you to imagine...For my part? Well...been there and done that.

Oh and one more thing, by ways of copyright laws, these images don't belong to me, they're end results and by-products of other creative people. I'm just borrowing these images to add some colour to these posts, so please don't be offended oh mighty creators.

Journaling the Journey

2011-11-11T17:20:00.001-08:00

Wow...re-reading that subject line makes me question the spelling of journey, actually more than questioning the spelling, it makes me wonder about the origins of the word. This has definitely got to be a record since the blog started...I don't think I've dished out as many words on my virtual canvas on here, than I did back in first year. Of course at that time, the sole intent and purpose was to find time in my ever changing crazy schedule, so I could give you guys a glimpse into the life and times of me, myself and I. You never know when all this verbal carnage will come in handy...Can you imagine it? Me conquering the world, the way I deem fit? Don't worry there should be a minimal chance of stage fright, on my part at least, and also a very slim chance of a corny speech, but I hear corny speeches happen regardless of whether you want them to or not, 'cuz you're overwhelmed by the shock factor of being recognized and awarded. My mirrors (oh and trust me I have quite a few at my place, no it's not really my vanity that's the cause...and believe me I tried the whole 'Mirror mirror on the wall' thing, didn't really work, the mirror chose to be silent....maybe it's 'cuz I asked it in the wrong language...चलो अगली बार हिंदी में पूछ लेती हूँ.) Have I told you just how much I LOVE having that option of using Hindi on here? It just makes my day!

When I first started this blog, I wanted it to be an almost daily reflection of my adventures, trials and tribulations on this fantastic and adventurous journey I've embarked on. To be able to walk the first few steps of that path to the biggest dream you've ever had is something close to a reverent feeling, it's a momentary feeling of being one with the world...well if you've never really felt that I highly recommend you start picking up some meditation techniques. Not that meditation is something I indulge in these days, I find the quiet to be quite noisy, there's a shriek to the silence that defies and pretty much belittles all other shrieks and screams. The quiet just gives rise to more thought processes being stimulated and I kinda lose focus on the most important thing 'bout meditation...i.e gaining and maintaining focus. Initially I was able to share a few interesting adventures via this outlet, but then with time...well especially last year blogging wasn't exactly something I had the time for, and when I did have a little time, trust me it was well spent on sleep and recuperation. Recuperation being quite the quintessential component to maintaining one's sanity...then time passed by and I metamorphosed into a wall or rather a cavern of disappointment and bitterness. I found it highly ridiculous and ludicrous that unethical bullshit, unfair advantages & linguistic advantages were something that played a greater role in the success stories of quite a few people, so far, in the same program I was in, while a few of us believers in that old adage of 'fair and square' quite literally got screwed over. You might think it to be a case of sour grapes and all, but trust me kids, be in my position for a milisecond and you'll sure as hell know the difference between sour grapes and being consumed by a blackhole of rage. There is a deep, dark pit that some people completely overlook in these cases....you see it's one thing to feel the things you feel when certain things happen during a moment and then to let it go when the moment passes, and, it's something else when you clinch on to those things for life. It's extremely toxic to do so, it's not just toxic in terms of a social life but it eats away at your mind, and the most important thing that will help you survive and overcome the general BS of the world is the power of the mind.

I mean c'mon who gives a damn 'bout a social life? A social life and circle is only as existent and dominant as you want it to be. People cannot make or break you, but you on the other hand can definitely make or break them, sounds like a buncha paradoxical bullshit doesn't it? People think they can own you, it's funny the ways and means in which they try to do so, it makes me laugh when people try to exert their control/charm (please it makes me roll my eyes and makes me wanna gag) over me...the best part is waiting for the right moment and zapping them with a sizzling answer...BAZINGA! Aah nothing feels b8r than shooting down a jerk...try it, it's quite therapeutic...oh and when you do add a nice dollop of sarcasm to it too, it gives things a tangy flavour, if not it definitely adds a zing/spice factor into the conversation, and best part, people won't mess with you, unless they're dumb as doorknobs.

All I can foresee for the current, inevitable future, is a journal mostly 'bout the leaps and bounds I've made, from that fresh outta Uni undergrad with a gazillion dreams, hopes and visions in her eyes, to that quiet spectator with a few more years of wisdom, a shorter fuse but with those very same eyes that see those same old dreams and visions (of course some of the visions and dreams have tapered down, on the basis of logic and rationality...I mean c'mon how can I get a unicorn any time now? Unless I knew what would convert stone to life, then that would be a different thing all together). Yes in case you haven't realized...it IS all about me! I'm not sure of my growth as a person, no unfortunately I stopped growing vertically a while back (curse you growth hormones for not doing a more efficient job while I was a blossoming teen...you shattered my dreams and wishes of being 6 feet tall *sigh*) and the horizontal growth is always a work in progress. The more I see on this journey, the more I wonder as to which disillusioned idiot came up with a list of noble traits and characteristics as prerequisites for one of the most noble professions in the world...I wonder what they would have to say if they saw the current bunch of nobilists sullying the very noble profession unto Kingdom come. I've rolled my eyes far too many times, that I think I'm a living, breathing, eye-rolling specimen. Which is not to say the ride so far has not been a fun one, oh trust me it's been a rip-roaring entertainer so far....there are lessons you won't ever forget and then there are people...Oye vey, the people you meet on this journey are unique, special and absolutely priceless in their own way. I'm actually contemplating doing a character sketch of each person I meet/have met over the past few years/months/weeks and posting it up on here. I'm sure you guys must have bumped into similar people while making your way through your respective journeys.

Well I'm gonna end things rather abruptly on this note, I had an incessant need to spew my verbalage out...it's been a super trying day for me and while I would like to rant and bitch about the idiotic morons all around me that make up for a majority of the population, I'm still in the process of modifying my language and diction control so I can try and stay and neutral and diplomatic as possible....though I'd be surprised to know just how long that neutrality is gonna last.Well have a great weekend folks and please take a moment or two to pay your respects to those who sacrificed love and life to save and protect our rights and freedom. They will never be forgotten, they will always be our heroes and most importantly their lives were never lost in vain...they will always be our brightest beacons of hope, justice, peace and freedom. Remember...remember...this Remembrance Day., all that we lost for all that we gained.

Scaling Down

2011-11-08T14:46:00.000-08:00

Allo allo and wats goin on folks? Keeping in line with this post's subject line, let's just see how much I can scale things down by alright? I've been warned, informed & educated about my exhuastive use of words in emails, posts, stories and things of the sort. However, I do have my reasons...I'm not that expressive a person when face-time is brought into the equation, a person's silence isn't something people care too much about, it's either disregarded, ignored or considered to be something the individual excels in. Yes this does make me a quiet person by nature, which I'd like to think I am, but apparently that's also just another theory that I single handedly believe in. I've been told those days of long meaningful letters seems to have left the building, and you know what?! It was most definitely rude on their part for not letting me know while on their way out. Apparently emails should be the equivalent of tweets, subject to character and word limits...how was I the last person to know 'bout this? I just thought it was another way to substitute snail mail, you know minus all that waiting and all. Besides, isn't it a tad more endearing and personal when it's a bit on the longer side of things? Okay maybe with the advent of Skype and what not things get re-defined, but even then, isn't it nice to get a long email every once in a while? Guess I'm in a time warp as far as that's concerned huh?

I guess before I start my email editing and text modifying exercises, I'd rather exercise that task here with this post...which I know is a fantastically amazing source of entertainment for those of you who wander & stumble through here. The rest of you, who are regular readers, you can heave a sigh of relief, but then again that depends on how long this turns out to be. So let's get started already shall we? It's been an interesting week of developments and fizzle outs. For one I've been pretty much announcing this to all and sundry, well especially to those ppl. closest to me so technically yes they are my all and sundry, but, none the less, I've finally finished my first short story in a really long time. The last few happened years ago, let's not start tracking dates, that's just going to make me feel a little outdated and disjointed. None the less, it hasn't undergone any editing yet, perhaps it's something I should do...On the other hand though, I'm one who is always hungry for feedback!! It's an all consuming sorta hunger, so the head's contemplating between Wattpad and the blog in terms of exposure of said story. So yay, check that off of my 'Things to do' list for 2011. It was my greatest wish to finish at least one story this year and it tickles me pink knowing I did something along those lines. No it wasn't a New Year resolution, I personally believe that resolutions are made to be broken, so I stopped making 'em.

These past few weeks, besides being filled with the fun filled, ever energizing, mind altering magick of Pharmacology, I've had a little time to indulge in a few things I personally love indulging in, such as books, flicks, shows and things of the sort. Of course, I've been a lil' behind as far as the shows are concerned due to time constraints and I really do hate having to wait a whole darn week before a new episode arrives, makes things so much easier when one can do marathons. Bam, wham, kazaam it's all right there, none the less the only show I've been watching fairly regularly has been Castle, and, so far it's been interesting...last week's episode was pretty cool. I feel with all the filler stuff and the theme setting for this Season, I have a feeling that they're gonna hit the viewers with an action packed, crazy 43 minutes of television some time soon. So the tele aside, I did watch watch a few movies I wanted to and, as much as I would like to spend some time reviewing them, I'm not gonna get into a detailed review just yet. Instead I'm gonna dazzle you with a bullet review of these flicks I watched. So with the flicks let's start with the superhero ones...2011 has been the year of Superheroes, from both Marvel and DC comics. This is what I thought of them, now correct me if I've missed someone from this superhero list....

-Thor - was meh, usual fare, hot gorgeous brawny dude belonging to another world, exiled by papa dearest, throws tantrums and fits 'bout the ridiculous world he's in, and then has his 'With great power comes great responsibility' moment (yes I know that's from Spiderman and I know the difference) and becomes all superhero-ly and gets his cool weapons 'cuz he earned 'em. Yeah okay, it was 'ite, nothing great.
-X-men First Class - FREAKING AWESOME movie!!!! This was a fantastic take by the writers w.r.t the origin story and laying the foundation/basis for Professor X and Magneto. Bloody brilliant...LOVED IT! A must watch!
-Green Lantern - Ranges between meh and sucked. As much as Ryan Reynolds seemed like a visual fit for Hal Jordan, the movie wasn't all that great. The animated Lanterns were more captivating than Hal Jordan.
-Captain America, the First Avenger - I actually enjoyed this one, it did take me by surprise, I thought it was going to be rather disappointing, but it was pretty good. I'd rate it 2nd in line to X-Men.

Other non superhero related fare that I watched recently, mind you they span back a few years, time hasn't exactly been something I've had a lot of...what with those fun loops, hurdles and commitments life feels almost obligated to toss your way and all.

-Tangled - Haha was freaking amazing as well, had such an awesome time laughing my guts out. It was a fantastic choice after my partial, and it helped me with the sickness blues.
-Tron - Man did this movie suck, it was wayyyy below all my expectations and I smacked myself wondering why I wasted time watching thsi movie. Well the special effects were cool and all but that was 'bout it...I felt as though the dude who played Sam Flynn was trying to win the McBroody award. Oh look how much I brood and pout, jeez kid, if you must learn how to brood perhaps you should've watched the Angel series and picked up a pointer or 2 from David Boreanaz's 'Angel'/Captain broody pants.
-Mausam - Well there's an entire post dedicated to that movie, so if anything check out the previous post.

Well kids, that's all the time we have for now, trying to keep with the new mantra I guess, but we'll just have to see how long that lasts, seeing how I do value my words and how I do value meaning and understanding and all that stuff most people consider mushy and excessive. For what would the world be without words? Nothing but bricks, sands, paintings and mere memories seen through one's eyes, with no way for anyone else to live to see or relive those memories. I'm in the business of words people, and I'm not in the habit of shortchanging anyone, but a little change always goes a long way. So here's to change!!

Mausam - Flavour of Seasons

2011-11-05T05:54:00.000-07:00

Alright first things first, for those of you who don't know Hindi/हिंदी Mausam (मौसम) means Season(s) and in an immediate sense means weather, but, we Indians love things that occur over long periods of time, so in the broader and wider sense it means Season(s). Following this, this also happens to be the title of 2 movies, one that came out back in the 70's, which the 2011 version has nothing to do with, just so we're clear about that...I'm sure the word Mausam has been used in a variety of other movie titles, and it has most definitely been a part of many song lyrics. C'mon people, seasons play an integral part in our love stories, our dramatic scenes as well as fight scenes, how else can you sit there and mock us for running around trees and singing songs? Khair koi baat nahin. Now, I would like to toss in a disclaimer here, just 'cuz I love doing so, and also because, this one I feel is important that you readers are entitled to. I'm not great at reviews, they aren't exactly my forte unlike my supremely talented creative twin, who writes amazing reviews. Check out his link, it should be listed on the right side of my blog page :)...Blank Page Beatdown, check it out, it'll be the best read of your life EVER!

Since I just finished watching this movie, I guess you're being served up with a tawa fresh review. So...when I first watched the theatrical trailer for Mausam it definitely did pique my curiosity. One of the main things that the trailer and the film's tag line emphasized was the classical, eternal, timeless love story between the main protagonists in the movie, portrayed by Shahid Kapoor and Sonam Kapoor. When I first saw the 'First Look', that's where they unveil the poster of the movie, I half groaned at the timeless love story aspect...yes my generation is a lost cause, our concept of love is defined by it's own set of categories, so when you say timeless and classic and all this other schnazz it actually makes the eyebrows get all quirked up and...well you get the point. This movie had it's fair share of troubles to finally be released to the general public, and, throughout the making of the movie shots on set were posted and you see a very dashing Shahid Kapoor in a military Uniform, and then in subsequent snippets it was revealed that he's an Officer with the Indian Air Force. So it got me thinking, wait what? Oh no a military love story? Oye vey...I hope he didn't fall in love with the General's daughter leading to a court martial 'cuz that would not be cool at all.

With the theatrical trailer you catch a glimpse of quite a lot of things that gets your mind spinning and reeling at the possibilities of just what the plot of the movie could be. You see this young carefree dude and chick (Shahid Kapoor and Sonam Kapoor) and suddenly the next shot of her, is in some dance studio and him all dressed up in his wrinkle & crinkle free uniform watching her dance and fun things of the sort. Oh and there's also the music accompanying it that absolutely adds on to the curiosity piquing factor. The first bit, that shows them as young, carefree individuals has the beautiful and lilting beginning of "Rabba Main Toh Mar Gaya Oye" playing in the background, and as you see the shift towards I guess adulthood and a not so naive time the music picks up the pace with the intro bit of the beat worthy, heart pounding, emotionally charged "Aag Lage Us Aag Ko". Initially, I wasn't too stoked to watch this flick, but then once I saw the theatrical trailer I definitely wanted to watch it, it looked attention and performance worthy, and most importantly the movie was directed by Pankaj Kapur...well some people may know him as Shahid Kapoor's father, but, most people know him for his sensational acting skills, he's one of the most renowned actors in India, he's a very distinguished actor in the theatre and film circuits and add the fact that he's one of India's most prolific TV stars. I remember when I was younger, I used to watch this show of his on Zee TV where he used to play a detective/PI on this show called Mohandas B.A.L.L.B. and he was quite a quirky P.I haha...my Mom and I still recall a few lines from that show.

So with these expectations I waited until the movie was released, and all those movie reviews came out to see what the verdict on the movie was. Unfortunately the news and reviews weren't all that great, and while I do take the word of a bonafide film critic for whatever salt the critic might be worth, I still like being able to formulate my own opinion 'bout the flicks I watch. So after probably a month or two? I finally watched the movie, well actually I started watching the movie a while back, but life had more pressing matters that needed to be taken care of as opposed to watching Mausam. Now as some of you might not know, I'm not a huge fan of divulging plot lines, but if you really want to know what the story is and then decide if the movie is worth your time, then hey definitely hit Wikipedia up, it will most definitely give you everything you're looking for.

Before I get all snarky about things I didn't like with regards to the movie, I'd like to laud the Director's efforts into attempting a story of this sort. I definitely liked the incorporation of some of the darker moments from India's recent past that served as the backdrop or rather the springboard for this story to grow and progress on. However, the folly with doing so is that you open up too many story angles, and too many areas of interest that you'd like to focus your energies on and in the process the main plot-line seems to lose it's momentum. The moment you find out the girl is Kashmiri Muslim, and the boy is a Punjabi Sikh fella who prefers the anglicized version of his name, 'Harry', the first thought that pops up is 'Oh crap this is gonna be a religion face-off and it's gonna be a never ending drama between both sides, where either the girl's family hates the boy for his religion and it's all a no-no or it's the other way around, and you have their relatives piling on to the street with an assortment of weapons ranging from pipes to hockey sticks. Thankfully, we've progressed in that area as far as our movies are concerned, and the movie thankfully doesn't waste a whole bunch of time on going through the religious backgrounds and all complications associated with it. Shahid Kapoor's character Harry sums it up very nicely in one of the scenes, when his lady love tells him that her father doesn't think it's the right thing for either of them to be in this relationship, to which Harry says he's right and wrong and ends up telling her how we're all human and in essence the same and follows it up with a very simple yet deep question 'What were we before we were born?' It's the simplicity of such moments that makes the movie almost endearing in far too few sequences. I wish the Director was able to flesh out a more concentrated storyline, the parallels he used were beautiful, and it would have been absolutely poetic, unfortunately instead of a balance there was a lot of displacement that tends to throw the viewer back and forth and wondering about a lot of things. In addition, there was something absolutely beautiful that I learned from the film as well, the meaning of the name "Aayat", it's a very pretty name, and for those of you who like me have no idea what the name means, it means 'Holy couplet'.

So where shall we start with the flaws? For one I'd say the running time of this flick. It definitely could've been shortened by sooooo much more. There were some scenes that were plain unnecessary and just worked to hinder the storyline rather than enhance or establish it. Also, this whole reunion and separation problem between the main protagonists gets really frustrating. The part that got me all frustrated was this whole affair of how one is searching for the other but they just don't know how to get a hold of them and never seem to find a way to know where the hell the other person is. Yeah I understand the internet wasn't the greatest thing in the mid 90's but honestly by the late 90's pretty much anyone and everyone had a freaking e-mail address and everybody and their uncle found their way into your address book even if it was an old classmate of yours from kindergarten. Their lack of communication and their inability to keep in touch had me absolutely frustrated, I was yelling at my laptop 'What the HELL DUDE?!? Call X, Y and Z and you will know!!! It's India ve, especially the village, anybody and everybody living around your house and a few houses down from your house know where you, your immediate family and your distant relative are at and also know what each one of you does for a living and what you do as extracurricular activities!'....yes clearly I put a lot more thought and yelling into it than necessary, as my advice just didn't help *sigh*. Isn't it frustrating when people NEVER listen to you?

In terms of acting, well Shahid Kapoor was brilliant, that guy just keeps moving from strength to strength with each of his films, I guess he's one of the most underrated actors in the Indian movie Industry, and I sincerely hope he has an absolutely bloody brilliant mind blasting mega super-duper blockbuster. I felt bad for the guy, you can tell he's put a lotta effort into the movie, from playing the carefree young punk to the polished and smart Army man, and then some. You can see the transition in his body language, and his facial expressions and you wish for his sake that the movie had been a hit just for his efforts. Sonam Kapoor...now there's someone interesting. She's an a'ite actress for most part, I mean I don't find her mind numbings amazing or anything of the sort. Sometimes she ends up being a tad bit annoying on screen but that is to be expected, I think most actors go through that, but I think she needs to work a little more on her emoting abilities, especially during highly emotionally charged scenes. She either tends to overdo them or underdo them, I'm sure with time she'll figure it out. Her delivery in the emotional scenes was a mixed bag throughout this movie, in some scenes she actually pulled off quite a convincing performance but then of course those scenes were overshadowed by the under or over performance. I must admit that she does have a beautiful smile, and she's one helluva tall chick, but she definitely needs to work on the emotional aspects of her acting and needs to loosen up just a bit with her delivery of such scenes. Oh and she needs to stop giggling unnecessarily 'cuz that really does seem fake and put on lol. In terms of the lead pair chemistry, there was something poetic about it, it is one of those jodis/pairs that has immense potential, but if the narrative hadn't kept hitting so much turbulence I'm sure the director would've been able to fully tap into said chemistry and exploit that potential. However, that being said, I think other directors should try giving this lead pair a shot in the future, there definitely is something there that the audiences will be able to connect to and resonate with.

Oh yes another beautiful aspect of the film, besides a few of the locales and a few camera shots, is the music of the film. There are some absolutely beautiful songs in this movie...yeah no guesses for which one my fav song from the soundtrack is...that's right 'Rabba Main Toh Mar Gaya Oye' and to pep up my mornings quite a bit there's the other groovy shoovy number 'Sajh Dhaj Ke' which just has a remarkable effect on your neurons and your feet, they start tapping to a beat of their own. It's true, I have 2 left feet and they go off on their own tangents when this songs comes on....it's almost insane. I also loved the way that despite having controversial and violent religious upheavals, that unfortunately India has weathered, never is there any finger pointing nor is there a blame game that holds one faith more responsible than the other. When asked who were the ones responsible for the death or loss of a loved one, I found the response to be quite poignant. Aayat asks Harry who those people were who were responsible for all those who died, and his response to her question was, (mind you I'm translating the lines here,) 'Fearsome/scary shadows, who have no names nor faces.' These scenes have been handled with such maturity and finesse and have been painted into the backdrop to the central theme/plot, namely the epic love story, without spending more time than necessary on analyzing the hows, who's or whys to the situations. Topics like the communal riots India has faced and been subjected to, are very sensitive issues, and need to be treated with the utmost care, and all I want to say is hats off Mr. Pankaj Kapur, thank you for not making this movie a religious propaganda.

In conclusion, I wouldn't recommend Mausam as the first movie to go rent out on DVD, it's one of those movies you watch just to kill time or like the popular usage goes, it's just a timepass movie yaar. Of course you would have the advantage of fast forwarding things as well, which will make the proceedings move along just a tad bit faster. If anything watch it for that poor lad Shahid Kapoor, bechara, but only if you've exhausted all other movie and entertainment options, or if you're having a random insomnia episode. Well...that's it for now folks and I'll catchya on here soon, there are a few minor updates that I have to confound y'all with! Cheers, and I hope all is going sensationally and exceptionally well with each and every one of y'all.

Perception & Competition - The Looking Glass Reflections & Refractions

2011-10-14T16:08:00.000-07:00

Perception....it's a tricky little thing to put your finger on ya know? It's either the skewed kind, or, the rose tinted kind or something caught somewhere in the middle of the two. It's an uncertainty that people in general love to puff their chests out and scream, rant and shriek with such confidence and clarity that really the beholder or listener wouldn't even know how far from the shadow of truth this illusion falls into. The last few days if not weeks, in particular, have been highly fascinating and have added quite a bit of growth to my ever expanding growth curve. You know how people say that wisdom is something you acquire with age, time (I guess it qualifies if not falls into the same bracket as age) and time? Well...NEWSFLASH....some people just never stand to gain any regardless of those 3 above mentioned factors, it's as if they're stuck in this moment of time that they might never graduate from.

From time immemorial we're always told about the ticking clock...that concept in life 'bout how we're running out of time...time to be the brightest academic genius in our akademik endeavours, or that coveted musical, artsy or sports prodigy that we're supposed to be, or to achieve and fulfill those dreams we've always had (despite having no clue what those ideas or dreams may be at times) or, to have the time of our lives, to fall in love and things of the sort. In not so many words, we're running out of time to revel in that thing called youth and we're plummeting towards this thing called old age...hold still people 'cuz blink and you may just miss your youth. Okay so tell me oh smart ones who believe in the rush rush, hush hush game, why exactly do you have your clocks ticking on all those things that you have your eyes and dreams set on? What happens if there's a sudden change in plans and you get totally blindsided and suddenly realize all that rush to reach the finish line was pointless? I doubt it's going to make you feel like you accomplished anything...in fact I think it's gonna make you bust out a list of things you have left to accomplish, instead of making a list of the things you know you've accomplished and taking comfort and solace from that list. It's human nature I guess, to never quite feel like you've accomplished whatever you've wanted to, 'cuz want is the one appetite we can never satiate.

In addition to leading such racy, pacy lives there is one crucial and critical cofactor, if I may say so, that one cannot ignore nor sideline. It's the one companion that never finds the exit door in our lives, it's the motivational factor and the ultimate destroyer in oh so many ways. Please put your hands together for life's unfailing constant....competition. It's quite intriguing actually, life might be the only equation in the Universe that has such a unique and diverse set of constants. I'm sure you're all aware of this thing called competition, in some of you it brings out the cattiest and bitchiest sides ever, where you'd be willing to sell your soul to the devil and go through irrevocable and irreversible decisions in life and earn colourful names and titles, but then again you're pretty sure you don't care. Try asking that part of your soul that actually still has a bit of a conscience wandering in there, I'm sure it begs to differ. I'm not saying the aggressive nature of being competitive is a bad thing, it sometimes is the catalyst that pushes us towards the brink of a revolutionary, life altering discovery. Let's just be straight up about it and say that no progress would occur without competition...but here's my issue with competition.

Competition is great and all, but you should know how to handle it...you see like I said before life is an equation, and a balanced one at that. All your actions have a cost and a consequence, so you might wanna think twice before you embark on your journey...try and get rid of those blinkers you'd prefer walking around with you know? And hey, this lil' note I'm adding here you REALLY should take into consideration 'cuz you'd be an absolute ignorant idiot to ignore it or even laugh it off. NEVER...never ever underestimate the person sitting next to you, never for a single second in your life believe that the person sitting next to you is an idiot or dumbass with nothing between their ears, regardless of points served up on an IQ test or grades scored on exams, and then some. To underestimate someone is to be a fool, it just means you have sooo much more to observe and so many more lessons to learn that the world has to offer.

I'm no stranger to competition, it's something that's been a part and parcel of my life from a very young age. But, I'll tell you what about this whole competition thing really pissed me off as a kid. See I get the whole thing about parents wanting and needing to be a part of their kids' lives, it's a very natural and human thing to do. I mean c'mon which parent wouldn't want to be part of the growing/wonder years of their kids' lives? I get all of that, but what I don't get is when parents start interfering in places and events where it is absolutely unnecessary. I think it's essential that kids figure out the whole ground rules for being competitive with each other as well as setting standards, ethics and principles for themselves. Parents need to teach their children right from wrong, and how to pick themselves up if and when they fall, because believe it or not sooner or later each and every one of us go through that crushing drop zone, and there never really is a better teacher than experience. And who best can tell you about epxerience besides the recesses of your memories? Well holy jalapenos Batman, there's your parents as well!

I don't think parents should ever get into other kids' faces and tell them that they don't have what it takes to be half as successful nor are they half as talented or skilled as their own. Think about it, you're an adult telling a child that they have no talents or skills and are pretty much stupid, how do you think a kid would feel when they hear something like that? It may seem a little hard to believe, but it's true...there are a few parents who have no stones in saying things of this nature to other people's kids, especially when the parents aren't around. Ya know growing up we all go through stages of uncertainty where we're not quite sure what we're good at and we're just getting to know more about ourselves and all of that fun stuff? Well guess what Sherlock...when you have adults confirming your lil' doubts about things you suck at, I'm not quite sure how that's supposed to make anyone feel any better about themselves. Let's not forget that we're talking about children...and, when they hear adults talking to them they think the grown up knows better than they do 'cuz lets face it we always say grown ups know more and know better than kids. Yeah this is definitely familiar turf for me, this was something I've had a few aunties be kind enough to tell me, how else do you think I got such a sparkling personality?

It's one thing when this happens in childhood, but it's completely different when it still happens when you're an adult. Okay firstly parents doing that is wrong, I've been lucky enough to have folks who don't care for stuff like that, they've always allowed us kids to expand and find our own depths and our own shortcomings, if not they've been kind enough to point 'em out and well you know have a series of jokes going on 'bout it for eternity. Recently, I heard someone's, (falling within the parental bracket might I add), input 'bout a really good friend of mine, and besides being gobsmacked and pissed, there was a part of me that just caused me to shake my head in frustration and disgust at how people have the audacity to say the things they do. How does someone older, and mind you with kids, and apparently mature, have the right to comment on anyone being a fool and a complete brainless idiot without even spending enough time to get to know of their strengths and shortcomings? I mean don't they realize that other people, well forget people...heck their own so called best friends, call and consider their kids to be brainless idiots or worse yet? It's appalling how people never think before they speak, and how their foot finds the way to their mouths faster than their words do.

Perception....it's an art and a skill that one should hone, not waste so foolishly on useless things. It's our gift if not privilege of viewing the world a certain way and working towards that vision. Use it to be a visionary, use it to make a difference in someone's life instead of being a thorn in people's lives, people have too many of those, especially in the kind of world we live in these days. Remember, life is an equation, everything in that equation is meant to be balanced. Variables and constants don't get added to make it look fancy, shmancy and better than anything Newton, Planck, Farraday or Einstein came up with really, they're just the factors we contribute to our own equation and it's the weight of our actions that ultimately end up balancing that equation. Live to make your life count 'cuz end of the day there's nothing like knowing you did what you could to the best of your abilities, and take pride in the little victories as well as the losses.

Euro-trip memoirs - Auschwitz 1...Of silent screams and shattered dreams

2011-10-09T15:09:00.000-07:00

This is one post that I've put off for a while, not out of procrastination or sheer laziness (which let's admit it I am guilty of like every other human being)...but the sheer weight of this subject is one that I think anybody would think twice about before writing. There are many things in life that have you re-thinking, evaluating and defining your reasoning & approach towards both the simple and complex things in life. This entire subject was triggered while I was being my shallow self and wanting to write a post on Frivolity v/s Substance - A New Age mantra, but, the mind is a mysterious thing. It likes to wander, and when you give it the full liberty of doing so, the things it thinks of just renders one speechless at times...at least mine does depending on which plane of thought it lands up in.

I'm sure I must have mentioned this in posts past, that there was a mini Euro-trip I was going on with my folks marking the official start to my summer break and all those fun things. While I'm starting to think that such a trip was a complete figment of my imagination at this point in time, I actually have pictures that prove otherwise and are evidence that such a trip happened. There might be thoughts or even queries 'bout the adventures on said Euro trip. Well, there were plenty of adventures, in fact it was adventures galore, and well I got some of the best pix of the folks ever!!! So whenever I hit those blues, I just go through those pix, and a couple vids I took on my trusty iPod gadget. Thank you Mr. Steve Jobs for that wonderful creation, here's to more innovators, geniuses and creators who are not afraid to lead and denounce the automated and sedentary life of being a follower.

Moving on from that sidetrack, this post is about one of the most powerful, life changing experiences I was fortunate enough to experience, visit and feel the full effect of. There are few things in life that we wish we could experience and be part of, and then there are those moments that give us sheer goosebumps at the mere thought of imagining it. I'm not a major history buff, compared to Broda...now, that boy has a passion for history that I think he inherited from the folks, my knowledge and recalling abilities as far as history is concerned is...well...not the greatest. But this piece of history I'm sure each and everyone of you is aware of, because, it definitely is one of the most publicized, recognized and horrific travesties that human kind has ever committed in the history of mankind. Not that brutality and bloodshed is anything new to our kind, it's some sort of legacy that we idiots have taken upon ourselves to transfer down through to every generation and spread and proliferate. These are the things that make me question the theory of evolution, how is it that the thirst and wont for violence and bloodshed has played such a rampant and dominant part through the ages? Have we really learned nothing from it all? With the ages, we've only learned to kill each other off in more efficient ways, we've learned and advanced ourselves in the art of delivering unwanted terror and death faster than we have made any medical progress or scientific progress for that matter.

I'd like to share this particular experience with whoever chooses to read this, because, I think it is quintessential that we all have this moment where we stop, question, and ponder what exactly it is we're doing here, what our purpose is and whether we're headed in the right direction or not. No these aren't rhetorical nor philosophical questions, not after this particular experience. These are questions that we should be asking not just ourselves, but our leaders as well, these are questions that will linger, and should linger and be posed to our future generations as well. While this part of the trip was really one of the last things we did before we headed back to HQ where it all began, I don't think I have enough words to express the exact sentiments that coursed through me during that visit. The last city on our travel itinerary, as well as the first, was the city of Krakow in Poland. One of the things that one just has to do while in Krakow is to visit the concentration camp at Auschwitz...yes the very same one that you learned in those History classes some of you dozed off in, or tuned out in. It's a place that's neither for the faintest of hearts nor the strongest of hearts...it's a place that unifies every heartbeat, every thought and every sentiment of whoever chooses to walk through the gates of one of mankind's own creation of Hell.

It all started on a very early and bright Saturday morning. The three of us got ready and we didn't really need alarm clocks, I think internally we were all raring to go because this was the one thing that all of us were really looking forward to. We rushed, scarfed down breakfast and started our road trip to Auschwitz. We did have our reservations with our GPS, the chick (well the voice on the GPS that gives us our directions) would get us sorta kinda close to the place and then have us going in circles while trying to get to our actual destination. Oh Praha was a perfect example of the GPS driving us absolutely nuts. I think my dad has the story and scars to prove it lol, poor papa bear. The day started off nice and sunny, which had us groaning 'cuz of the cruel and merciless heat beatings that the Sun dished out in Praha. Thankfully this time around, the GPS chick didn't have us land up in Ukraine or anything of the sort, we got to our destination and then there were wonderful signs telling us how to get to our destination. Our excitement and a certain sense of anxiety and anticipation, crept in as we got closer to our destination...only we were completely unprepared for what was coming our way, and to be honest, I don't think anyone can ever be prepared.

The group tours started later in the day, but we chose to do the solo tours. As we stepped out of the entrance building, the main reception area and all of the administrative areas...and stepped out into the external area surrounding the camp a certain sense of trepidation started permeating my pores. My senses were growing more aware of the surroundings and my fight and flight sensations seemed to be kicking into high gear as though it was anticipating and sensing some imminent yet unseen threat. The feelings became harder to shrug off as we got closer and closer to the entrance to the concentration camp. The moment we crossed that threshold and entered the concentration camp, it felt as though I was teleported into a different time, a different plane of existence. The hairs on the back of my neck shot up, as did the goosebumps....it was an overwhelming feeling that, to this date, I have not been able to metaphorize nor compare to, and I sincerely hope that day never comes where I actually have something to relate those feelings to. A certain chill crept into my bones, I turned around to see if I had been teleported elsewhere or if it was my mind playing tricks on me...nope there was no teleportation, the world I had left behind at the threshold of Auschwitz was still there; those tourists taking snaps of the motto (that sealed the fate of it's residents) "Arbeit Macht Frei" which roughly translates to (Work makes one free) were still there. It was as if my senses had stretched out up till the entrance and came rushing back to me like waves possessed by the currents, with a force and power that could knock you off your feet. It was overwhelming, to say the least... As I turned around to proceed walking down the path ahead, I looked both ways at the path intersecting the one I was on, to see just how far the path stretched both ways at the entrance. You see after crossing the gate there's a path that goes horizontally, it expands the entire length of the compound, and looking both ways all I could hear was the deafening screams and bloodcurdling roars of silence. It was as if every stone, brick, cement block, leaf, blade of grass, barbed wire, glass and tree was sharing and shedding the tears of those at the receiving end of the horrors and atrocities carried within their gates...their eternal curse, their eternal memory. Right then, in that very moment, you realize that no amount of reading, analytical abilities, rationality or logic can prepare you for what you are about to see.

Now, visitors visiting Auschwitz had access to a few of the blocks located within the camp. The Polish Government has converted these blocks into a museum of sorts, that, houses remnants and possessions of the many inmates/prisoners. This way it not only serves as grim reminders of history, but also so that we will NEVER forget exactly what we are capable of. Reading about the atrocities Hitler, the psychopath (such a bloody understatement), committed is one thing, but to actually walk through those corridors, passageways and hallways truly is something else. What's even more appalling, besides Hitler's twisted notions and theories, is the willingness and conviction with which people followed him and carried out his orders. Sure you can tell me the soldiers within these camps were threatened if they didn't follow orders or would have had their families and themselves executed and what not, but, if you know what you're doing defies common human decency are you telling me you would not do everything in your power to end it? But that is not even a topic up for discussion in this post.

Most of these blocks contained either huge display cases or rooms with maps and documents and presentations about prisoners, the SS guards and survivors of these camps. One of the first display cases was almost filled to the brim with this dark coloured material/substance that looked like unprocessed cotton. Now these display cases were freaking huge and spanned a huge length, they're almost the size and volume of my living room. Now, this material pretty much lined up almost halfway if not a lot more than the halfway mark of the display case, and as we kept walking towards the end, where the display card next to it said that the material was human hair. Hair shaved off of the heads of women prisoners of the camp....this hair was then sent to factories where it was processed and then used to make fabrics (I believe drapes) and other things...and how this fabric was coveted amongst citizens and was actually worth a lot in monetary value. At that point in time, I think I was thinking how breakfast was such a bad idea....just seeing and reading that had invoked such a repulsive reaction from me...I wasn't sure if I was going to last the rest of the trip. With each display case and block that we covered a deeper feeling of disgust and an unfathomable and unshakeable feeling of sorrow and loss gnawed it's way deeper and deeper into my soul. One of the other display cases that shook me to the core of my being, was one that was filled with piles and piles of shoes almost the whole way. The sign next to this display case said that these shoes belonged to all the women and children that were brought to the concentration camps. Usually when people were brought to the concentration camps they were divided into primarily two groups...those capable of doing work and those who were incapable of doing work and were considered useless. That usually constituted 3/4th of the group of people brought to the camp, and the section of the population that fell under this 3/4th category were children, women with children, the old and destitute, and those who were ill. These people upon being brought to Auschwitz, were told to shower and decontaminate themselves...sometimes the facilities were on the train and at other times the infamous gas chambers. The gas chambers were made to seem like actual bathrooms where the SS had placed fake shower heads...and so the prisoners would undress and go to take their showers, which was when the gas chambers would dispense their toxic substances and seal the fates of these unknowing souls. Once the gassing procedure was complete, these SS soldiers would go collect anything of value that might be on the person, such as gold teeth/fillings and things of the sort. None the less, seeing those mountains of shoes that belonged to all those women and children was something beyond heartbreaking. Each display case was just more heartbreaking and soul stirring than the previous one...there was one that housed luggage and prostheses that belonged to the prisoners, yet another housed the dishes used by the inmates and this particular display case was the size of a basketball court and also the volume of one...yet another one was filled with toothbrushes, shoe brushes, razors/blades, and glasses worn by inmates. Other blocks were replicas of the living conditions the prisoners were subjected to and some rooms had pictures and descriptions ranging from portrait paintings to caricatures, to letters written by inmates and sent to allies. These rooms contained the stories of some of the bravest people the world has ever known, who fought until their drying breath to free others and themselves, even if that freedom cost them their lives.

One of the most striking sites, within the camp that has been maintained, is the firing wall. There's a wooden barricade either side of the entrance and there are windows from the blocks overlooking the firing range. The moment you enter that area, there's a jolt of stillness that grips you hard and envelopes you and shuts down the screaming silence. As you stare at that wall, where countless innocents met their end all because some sick sycophant thought it to be a worthy agenda, I kid you not when I say that I could almost hear the echoes of the shots ringing out. It's as if nothing else has penetrated those walls and that entrance since it was first set up. We also got to take a look at the cells where the prisoners were herded if not throw in...there were certain cells that had absolutely no light, some, that were tiny enough so that people could only crawl, and, some where there was only a limited air supply....and then, there were the standing prison cells. These are cells where if one were to stand their heads would hit the ceiling of the cell. People had a little bit of a pit area dug up so that they could stand in them but the pits were neither too deep nor did they have enough of a circumference to allow people to sit, so regardless of what people tried to do they wouldn't be able to sit, and one can only imagine what it would've been like for someone who would've been extremely tall. Add to the fact that each of these standing cells didn't house 1 person but sometimes 4 people to just one of those cells.

With each block we passed, there was this clawing urge to get out and get back to a reality away from this reality, away from the screams, the cries for help, for mercy....Finally unable to see any more, we headed back towards the entrance to Auschwitz...there were a few blocks that we did not visit which were the dispensary blocks that were set up by country/region. The decision to skip the dispensaries/hospital/medical facilities located at Auschwitz 1 was primarily influenced by whatever we had read in the previous block that mentioned Josef Mengele. With all that we had seen, heard and read (as a result of history books, documentaries and later the displays at Auschwitz 1), we were definitely not ready to see any sort of medical evidence or proof of all the sick experiments Mengele deemed fit and a necessity to better understand the human race. I don't think seeing any visual evidence of Mengele's experiments with identical twins, or for that matter, seeing evidence or reports of the medical experiments conducted by any of those unworthy blots in the history of mankind and medicine would have been something we could have handled.

Initially we had planned on going to Auschwitz-Birkineau as well, but by the time we got out of Auschwitz 1 we didn't have it in us to go to Auschwitz-Birkineau. How would the atrocities committed in one place be any different from those carried out at another concentration camp? Walking away from Auschwitz, there were absolutely no words that either of us had, it was a quiet drive the whole way back to the hotel. While we were at Auschwitz 1 the weather had drastically changed as well, compared to how the morning had started out. It had turned cloudy, there was a certain pallor of gloom visible in the skies and the clouds, and while we were at the camp, there was a moment when there was a bit of a light drizzle, that lasted for a few seconds or probably a minute or 3...even the heavens couldn't bear the sight of such a memoir of mankind's darkest hours. No amount of tears from the heavens could possibly cleanse or wash away one of history's starkest and darkest moments.

Just when you think you understand or maybe grasp the extent of what mankind is possibly capable of, you see something that redefines that feeling and that makes you feel so small and insignificant....it reinforces that feeling of just how little it is we know, understand or value our lives or the human experience. I for one know that the entire experience has been burned into the deepest recesses of my memory and is something I will remember and value until the day I die. I strongly recommend that if you do get a chance to visit Auschwitz that you take that chance...if anything, but to experience and see just how low we as human beings can get. Reading about slavery, violence and camps are, as I mentioned earlier in this post, one thing, but seeing and experiencing it first hand is something else by itself. Auschwitz can be seen as the ultimate epitome of human depravity, insanity, cruelty, hatred and evil....but it is also a symbol of bravery, determination, hope, fight, courage and survival. Let us not forget those who died staving off & saving the rest of us from the hands of those hellbent on snuffing the very life out of us. To forget them, their trials and tribulations, and most importantly their pain and suffering isn't just an insult to their memory but it's also an insult to our very natures. They gave up pretty much everything in their lives in the name of humanity, so lets not sully their memories. An experience like this makes you re-think all the things in life you spent bitching and whining about, and it really makes it all seem small and futile and worthless. As if on autopilot, your mind starts sorting events and people out based on how much they help you or hinder you, and things suddenly seem clearer than before.

Don't waste your time with regrets, don't fill your world with hatred, anger and words and actions you know you can never take back...there isn't enough time to waste on such things. We as human beings should learn from the gravest and worst mistakes of our past in order to secure a solid foundation of harmony and coexistence for the future. Why are we so hell bent on the trivial things in life? Why are we so hell bent on bringing each other down, instead of standing shoulder to shoulder? Why is there such an insistence for discord based on differences like race, colour and nowadays that biggie called religion? We're all the same for crying out loud, we all have DNA within us, basic molecules made outta the same damn components/units needed to make DNA, we all believe and wish for the same things...so instead of wasting time trying to separate and segregate you'd think we'd take the time to find out common interests and build something together. Have you ever noticed the following? In a conversation, it's easier for someone to pick out the differences and things they dislike faster than it is for them to find commonalities and similarities. Sounds kinda ridiculous doesn't it? Let's hope the future is one where every other front page headline isn't about bombings (be them suicide or IED's) or military coups....it really is depressing when you only read about the ways in which we're eradicating each other off of the face of the earth. Let the future generations say that we actually paid attention to the past and made the future count.

Beating the Odds

2011-10-04T16:19:00.000-07:00

'It's all about beating the odds, right?' famous words uttered by Detective Kate Beckett on Monday's episode of Castle. Of course there were more words to it than just those, I just don't want to give away anything with the stuff she said before those words. They just kinda stood out, in their own nice, stark, crisp, mulling way. The moment those words were uttered, my mind was flooded with a bunch of images, snapshots of times past...probably it was a subconscious mental sweep to reassure myself that we (as in the collective me) are not strangers to the odds per-se and that we have always been able to fight the odds, maybe not beat them all the time, but it's the essence of that fighting spirit that keeps us going...(in this case I guess the us and the we refer to not just the collective me but the rest of us collectively)

I guess it's important we all have our quotes, our magic motivational potions and our lucky dice, besides probably something stronger than an espresso and more potent than an Irish coffee. Beating the odds is definitely a lot more tiring and draining than we expect or anticipate it to be. I'd like to say I've mastered the art of beating the odds, but, that would be a lie. I'm no gambler, in fact I'm pretty hopeless at it, but I've gotten better at riding the wave that goes with beating the odds. Some days it's a crushing, brutal force that knocks the wind outta you and sucks the life outta you. It does more than make you give up you know? It eats it's way through you from the inside out and at times it just obliterates you and makes you question your very existence.

It isn't just love that's all about beating odds, it's a concept that is weaved in with the whole fabric of life, whether it's the hem or it's the actual shroud of life that's woven, it plays a role. Brings to mind a quote from the Hunger Game series, 'May the odds forever be in your favour'. There's just such power, weight and responsibility that lies behind those words, no not just the quote from HG, it's easier said than analyzed, understood and interpreted. However, like all things that possess great power, they all come with great responsibility (Oh yeah Spiderman would be proud :P), it would be absolutely stupid and ignorant to believe that all odds can be evened out. It would be wiser to assume that all odds exist to strengthen our choices as well as chances with every randomly occurring moment of probability. Be forewarned, probability wasn't really one of my favourite subjects to tackle or handle in school.

There is a certain addictive nature attributed to probability....well perhaps it's a gambling thing. I wonder if gamblers view their lives as a probability problem where they can approximate with a certain degree of accuracy, probably to the 2nd decimal point, the outcomes of the decisions they make. I wonder if they're the kind of people who can plan their moments 40 steps ahead of a non gambler...imagine, if such a thing existed and if it was scientifically proven that gamblers made for efficient decision makers and planners, then I'm pretty sure every kid would get an all access pass to be the best at poker and blackjack by the age of 6. Scary thought 'en it? I think my folks would be stunned if kids who came up to my knees were all *psht, you don't know how to play poker? What's wrong with you?* Or actually knowing them, they'd agree with the kids and I'd be the proverbial 'sore thumb', you gotta love family...they know when to jump the ship to nominate you as the entertainer/regular stand up comedian...even if it's the sleep inducing kind. Now c'mon you know you wanna have the power to induce sleep...I mean imagine knocking people out without physically clocking 'em, but with the power of words...it's almost like uttering a chant or incantation loaded with the power of nature and majick :D.

Yes I'm in Harry Potter withdrawal mode, oh well what the heck can I do about it, except go into a crazy "I shall read all 7 books within the next 2 days mode?" Ooh speaking of books, I'm close to being done with this highly fascinating book, a review will be up as soon as I'm done reading. Anyhow, this post has nothing to do with reviews, it's all about beating the odds.

We all definitely hate those times when the odds don't favour us, thing about those times is they aren't just a one time event, but there's a bunch of them that occur simultaneously and make us feel like we're ready to be sucked into the depths of our own blackholes, never to resurface, never to reappear. Those odds of ours, break us down quite a fair bit, I wouldn't go as far as to say that they mock us, they sting us, especially our souls and our egos, 'cuz you all know we have that crazy egotistical thing going on within us, like freaking bee stings and our reactions vary from anaphylactic shocks to the slightest shadow of hurt, pain and disappointment. None the less, it's not reason enough for us to shrug our shoulders and say no...possibility is the parental figure for the basis/existence/establishment of all hypotheses, as well as the key ingredient in the composition of the delectable nectar of knowledge, and the stepping stone a visionary needs to fulfill and make their visions a reality.

Do yourselves a favour, besides making lemonades galore and downing tequila shots with the lemons life hands you, go with the odds, 'cuz one way or another they're only preparing you to realize your full potential and unleash all that you've got. Remember they may make you think you're weak, but there's nothing more powerful nor stoic than facing your most crushing moments head on, nor looking your failures in the eye and overcoming them. Not a lotta people are lucky enough to do so, so don't you dare hesitate nor feel embarassed while relating or reliving your failures and fears, because nobody is perfect and everybody has a story to tell.And don't you dare gloat and boast nor let your victories get to your head, 'cuz pride always comes with a downfall. For all you know your story and your experiences may give some people the solace, advice, support and strength they never realized they needed, and there's nothing more gratifying nor satisfying than knowing you managed to change someone's life.

Well that's my random schpiel 'bout odds and probabilities, I just had to throw in my 2cents about it. Don't worry nothing cataclysmic nor catastrophic has occurred...take care people and I hope you have a great week ahead!

Reviews and Reviewers - The 43 Minute edition

2011-09-25T06:52:00.000-07:00

*Commencing Transmission*

Hello all,

Welcome to another fine tuned webisode of my verbal onslaught. I would call it Verbalis Mentalis but who knos what the hell that means and who knows when someone is actually going to use that term to start diagnosing people with some life threatening shit? Fun thing about Latin and Medicine, well the Health Industry I guess...if you know a little of both, then you can probably have fun driving up combinations that have people fearing for their lives. Besides, the world capitalizes on fear now, doesn't it? Be it a Capitalist mindset or a Socialist one, fear drives people and causes establishments to thrive. Don't worry, I'm not going to start an aandolan (strike/resistance/movement) against fear, I'm not quite sure if that is possible. None the less, fear is not the main topic of this particular post...clearly can you see fear anywhere in the subject line? Yeah didn't think so.

So what I have for you today is the simple yet dismissive art of reviewing, and on that menu for reviews, there's a few TV shows and movies lined up to get evaluated. Well the movies might find themselves headed for another post, so you can heave a sigh of relief. No don't worry I make no profits outta doing this, and if I did do you actually think I'd let you know? Well....that depends on the profit margin and also on the presents I get myself :D.

So as you all know, fall TV is the time we have new series being launched, old series being renewed and we all wait with bated breath to see what happens next after that 'cliff hanger' moment we had on the season finale of the show back in April/May. Well hello, we've had a busy week, well it's been a busy one for me 'cuz a lot of my fav. shows came back...and some of 'em came back with a BANG! And the others...well they left a bit to the imagination, a bit to the 'hmmmm' part of your curiosity 'cuz you kinda sense a major plot storm brewing or you just get all hyped up, and there's a few patches of disappointment where you feel that a particular situation could've been handled better. But overall it wasn't such a bad week in tele land.

Let's see first up is the season premiere of the most anticipated show (for me), namely 'Castle'. That season finale was one helluva season finale earlier this year. To match pace and tempo with that season finale definitely would have been challenging, because you want to find new ways and means of keeping the audience guessing and reeled in and wondering what happens next. The lighting, cinematography and effects just set the mood and pace for the entire episode, it was terrific. It will definitely be interesting to see how twisted and wound up this season is going to get...the character graphs tend to get a lil' jumpy and hit spots you didn't see coming. Then of course there's the whole Caskett (Castle and Beckett for the newly inducted Castle members) thing that I think a lotta fans are talking about, but in all honesty, I don't really care 'bout the relationship just yet as I do the plot and the writing. The one thing 'bout the writing on Castle that I've truly enjoyed is how snappy, sharp and of course witty, the dialogue tends to get between characters and the character dynamics are also just bloody brilliant. The other cool thing about Castle is how the show is actually expanding on the whole main character and actually gets the books that Castle supposedly writes published in real time. Heck Marvel is even doing a graphic novel for Derrick Storm, one of Castle's major 'cash cows' in terms of character, and a very popular and loved character in the whole murder, mystery, spy thriller genre of things. I'm definitely curious to know just how this season goes.

Next in line we have one of the other shows that I've been absolutely looking forward to since it's finale and since all this casting news that's happened between the end of Season 6 and the Season 7 premiere. That's right people, the brilliance called 'Criminal Minds' was back in full force and action on Wednesday and HOLY SHIT was it AMAZING!!!! It's so bloody brilliant to see everyone back, Season 6 definitely had it's moment, the best story arc being the one involving Prentiss and that whole Lauren arc with Ian Doyle. It was such a well shot and well executed story arc for one of my fav characters on the show, Agent Emily Prentiss! A few of my other fav episodes being JJ and Coda. The action packed, adrenaline pumping season premiere was OUT OF THIS WORLD!!! And I think this is going to be one amazing season of CM! Season 6 saw quite a bit of a falter, and I thought it had quite a few shaky moments, especially towards the end, but hey the rest of the team held it together even with the addition of Rachel Nichols, who yeah the fans absolutely despised 'cuz they figured she was a replacement for our beloved JJ. I must add thought that it is very unfortunate as to how popular a person is due to their character on screen, and we all tend to have that lapse where we forget to differentiate between the character and the actual actor. None the less, thank you Rachel for all your efforts on CM while you were there, however, it would be pretty freaking cool to see you return for a few episodes or a story arc. But other than, oh man did the fans of the show have SO MUCH to rejoice and celebrate 'bout on the season premiere and yeah as an aside, Hotch looked pretty freaking cool with that scruff going on haha. Here's to an amazing season up ahead!

Then we have 'The Mentalist' to follow up on Thursday. Well, the Season finale of 'The Mentalist' was pretty freaking awesome...it was quick, action packed and pretty much outta nowhere. Well I thought the Season premiere was pretty standard. Pretty much Jane and his charm, tricks and his personal story and his personal vendetta to find 'Red John'...sometimes the story line irritates me 'cuz it goes winding around and around and around without touching on anything substantial. I'm not sure if it's something I'd tune into every week, or just wait till the season is done before I do a marathon. Well that's what I did last season, it's not on the top of my must watch list, but hey keeps the mind amused if I'm bored outta my mind with my hectic schedule haha. I guess we'll see how the season goes. However, the one cool thing 'bout the show has to be the episode names, I love how they incorporate 'Red' into pretty much every single episode title, absolutely brilliant work at that.

I decided I'd give 2 new shows that premiered this past week a shot to see how gripping/interesting they would be. The promos looked fairly interesting over the summer. First one up is, 'Unforgettable' with one of the actresses from one of my fav shows, 'Without a Trace', as the main lead. It was refreshing to see Poppy Montgomerey grace the screen yet again, however, I dunno man I thought the premiere of 'Unforgettable' was pretty forgettable...however, that being said I'm not giving up on the show just yet. It's like a mix of 'The Listener' and 'Without a Trace' in terms of the way the show's been edited and put together. Maybe in time it'll turn out to be cooler and I might actually eat my words from this post. Remind me 'bout this post if you happen to find me screaming 'OMG OMG Did you watch that episode!!!??? It was freaking AMAZEBALLS!!!'...well you won't hear me screaming but I guess you can anticipate it with the enunciation in the key strokes and all.

The second new show to premiere this past week was 'Prime Suspect'. Yes it's a cop drama, yes I enjoy cop dramas, they're pretty freaking cool. It was a pretty cool season premiere, to a certain extent it reminded me of 'The Closer' only unlike Kyra Sedgwick's character (Brenda Johnson), the main character on the show definitely doesn't seem like the kinda person who would put someone down/retort and retaliate verbally with the kind of finesse and dare I say Southern hospitality Brenda Johnson does it with. I'm definitely looking forward to the next episode, oh and I definitely dig the main character's, portrayed by Maria Bello, fashion choices haha. So far, I enjoy Maria Bello's portrayal of Jane Timoney. The opening scene had to be one of the best scenes to this pilot episode, the main character trying to kick the cancer stick habit and trying to get a better handle on her health. The way the entire episode went about I think there's a lot more character development that the viewers can look forward to. Right from the get go the creators have made it a point to showcase the layers to Jane Timoney, from the tough and thick skinned cop who is the only source of estrogen in a testosterone filled Homicide Detective division, to the dedicated and efficient cop who puts people in their place and takes no BS in terms of following protocol and getting the work done, to being the street smart NYC chica who doesn't give up getting leads to a case, to the vulnerable woman who shows her colleagues she doesn't get affected by what they say but cracks in the confines of her own personal space...it's refreshingly done.

I have yet to check out 'Ringer' but once I do then my valuable opinions shall make their way here. Shows I'm definitely looking forward to in October include Homeland, Grimm and Once Upon a Time. I cannot wait to see Damian Lewis back on screen, it's such a shame NBC cancelled 'Life', it was such a good show, something I'm sure a lot of Life and NBC fans will never forgive NBC for doing. Well that's it for now folks, have yourselves an awesome weekend, or at least what's left of it. And...watch this space for more stuff. May the power of thought, imagination and progress forever be yours to acquire, gain and possess, for they are the most important ingredients to make this life of yours count. Well on that cheery and dreary note, cheers, adios and all that good stuff.

*Transmission ended*

Hiatus

2011-09-21T07:26:00.000-07:00

Gotta love that word, hell it makes me feel like those prime-time fall shows that go off the air over the summer and come back with a BANG some time around now in the fall. Well here I am, and ready to go through a verbal free fall. So let me start off by saying, how kind of you to tag along and join the ride. I have no spoilers for the season ahead, oh wait, *doh* this ain't a TV show now is it? What do we have on the menu? Nothing in particular, the usual fare, randomness served up with even more randomness and just the general joy and angst of being back to the writing board.

Man did the summer fly by, I mean one moment it's all *bloody hell I hope it's summer soon*, next moment *Boom! Bang! Kabang! Alakazam! Hello summer here we are*, and then *Bam!* the next moment it's all done and it all happened in the blink of an eye, and you honestly do stop, ponder and wonder if all that time really did pass you by. Well I keep bringing back summer like something major happened over the summer, but no, nothing major happened, I mean we had a few major comic book and other novel adaptations on that huge ass silver screen come out this summer, some bigger than others, but of course one thing has to be said about them...The movies never quite live up to the books and I'm not sure how many ever will, but it's still an attempt that should be lauded, and despite saying that, I know, I'll be one of those people lining up to see how they adapted my favourite book on the big screen. Curiosity will always be the biggest draw for such genres of cinema, yes it is a genre 'cuz nowadays it has carved out it's own niche, it has it's own set of viewers who will definitely show up to show their support for said project. However that being said, the screenplays aren't exactly original now are they? They're adapted from the original creator's body of work and given a life of their own. That being said, my summer was a time to recharge the batteries, to re-align and re-design priorities, and to refresh and revel those bonds that matter. Oh yeah I'd love to say that it was also the time I took to rescind those bonds that are just a pure waste of my time and energy, but I didn't exactly get around to doing that. I mean who the hell thinks of stuff like that when they have more important things to take care of? Garbage always finds a way to dispose of itself..

I literally spent my time in my Fortress of Solitude brooding creating, destroying, contemplating and regrouping myself. There's always going to be a point in everybody's lives where the hustle bustle of life literally pops you all out and you just need a lot of time to pick yourself up and do what you think is best for yourself. I'm not sure if it makes sense but picture it this way, you are physically free but your mind is caged in, absolutely trapped and weighed down by the sheer volume of thoughts, actions and plans of action that you keep creating and discarding. People are at peace when they're mentally freed, freedom isn't just about the physical source of being free, where you aren't tied down, or cuffed to a radiator or sum'n, freedom is when given the time of day you don't feel like the wind is being knocked outta you by the right hook your brain assaulted you with. It's not having that feeling of being Atlas or inverse Atlas where the weight of the world resides on your chest and not on your back. The human mind is an amazing tool all by itself, you don't need scientific research to prove that, you just need a few On days and Off days to do so. There isn't a more liberating feeling in the world than to think through everything and find your solution instead of hitting up dead ends and bigger obstacles that you have to find more ways to overcome.

Of course don't ask me what happened, 'cuz I myself didn't see the final result of all that summer fresh brain harvesting. But here I am giving a discourse on freedom and brains and fortresses and things of the sort. There were a few but fabulous events from the summer that I absolutely loved being part of and just feel really special and blessed when I think back to them, and then there were some not so pleasant events. But I guess if you look at it from an astrally projected 3rd person point of view you can't have the good without the bad, but, I must say thank you to my wonderful family/el familio/family outside of immediate family that beats immediate family at being family :D, for being so awesome and supportive. You guys know how to make things right if not better and you make every moment count. Thanks for keeping me in check and keeping that big picture in perspective, we are so totally gonna take over if not dominate the world. Look out world, we're on our way, coming soon to every billboard near you...well if you're not the billboard kinda person then every monitor/screen/device near you. Oh yeah we're that damn good.

Alright so here's the deal, I'm making quick random spurts of acknowledgement to things that I think you all should keep your senses peeled for, 'cuz I think it may blow your mind away.

Firstly, mad props to my boy Shah and his co-creator Gui for bringing their beautiful web comic creation, titled 'Qwixotic', out there for us heathens to revel in and enjoy. I believe it is coming out soon, so watch your spaces for updates 'cuz that's something you will get from me. The artwork is simply bloody brilliant. Congratulations with your Fan-Expo stint, I can only wish you guys all the very best and much success in the upcoming Comic Cons and conventions, You guys deserve nothing but the best for all your hardwork and dedication! In case you have no idea what the hell I'm talking about I strongly encourage and recommend visiting the link following up in the next few lines. So do yourselves a favor and check out,

http://qwixotic.wordpress.com/

Next on the list is the Hunger Games series. It's quite an intense read and not your regular fare sorta tale. It's a fantastical concept and very original and imaginative. I believe the movies are coming out soon, none the less if you can read the books I'd say go ahead and read 'em. They're not your standard fare, well nowadays standard fare would be vampire, werewolves and supernatural tales wouldn't it? But they aren't any of those, to put it simply try imagining it this way...well this is the way the author imagined it, so, try imagining and blending war and reality TV. In essence that's the base if not core foundation, of course you do have so much more to it than just that...but it's the starting point. You may find the beginning boring, but, it gets quite a grip on your attention a few chapters in.

Next on this list is the movie 'Sucker Punch'...holy hell did that movie pack in quite a punch. Such brilliant bloody cinematography and a brilliant script to go with it too. Such beautiful work, really there's a lotta scenes in the movies where the actors didn't have to mouth lines to convey a message, their expressions, gestures and the cameras did a fantastic job of telling the story. It was a brilliant movie that just rocked me to very core, bloody fantastic movie. If you're the faint of heart who cannot bear topics of violence and abuse and the darker and grittier aspects of humanity that isn't delved into too much, or might be overly done in terms of treatment and all of that fun stuff, or the kind who can't stomach the conceptual aspects of Law & Order SVU or Criminal Minds (well it isn't as gruesome) then you might want to think twice about it. Otherwise, take a watch, it's a pretty brilliant flick.

Check out the following shows, if you haven't done so already, they're worth the tele time

-Leverage
-Rizzoli & Isles
-Body of Proof
-Alphas (interesting show/concept, it's Heroes with a more scientific approach and reasoning to things)

New shows I definitely wanna check out that might cause me to rant and rave 'bout it include the following, and you'll hear from me if sucks or totally rocks my socks.

-Ringer (C'mon who can say no to SMG big return to prime-time tele? I know I can't say no to Buffy I mean SMG :P)
-Grimm
-Once Upon a Time

Alright folks, so that's a wrap, I just wanted to make my big bang return to my verbal outflow centre. I hope things are going well with all of ya'll and until next time take care and have yourselves a bloody brilliant time.

Theology + Fiction = Theoction + Ficeology...a potent concoction?

2011-08-05T10:44:00.000-07:00

Special Potions available and brewed only at Hogwarts School of Theology...

'Huh?!' is that your first reaction? Don't worry, you aren't the only one scratching your head there and trying to figure out what one has to do with the other…I did too, when I first wrote the subject line for this post. Alright so now that we have established the fact that theology has nothing to do with the wizarding world of Harry Potter, can someone please explain what the hell the point is of even putting the two topics together? It's not as if Harry woke up one fine day in the middle of the school year and decided to become Catholic or Protestant or Hari the Hindu or Haroun the Muslim or Harmanveer the Sikh...and so on and so forth with all the other faiths out there…so then, what could one possibly consider to be scandalous or controversial from a theological point of view?

Bleeding torch burning, flailing, wielding morons with no sense of appreciation for something so rich, diverse and all encompassing in it's own way. You must have fallen off of, if not, created off of the shitty side of the G-man's disposition. Forget me saying the Dark side of the moon, at least more civilized things came out of there, namely the residents of Cybertron. Anyway, there is nothing more annoying than dragging something, which might I emphasize, has nothing to do with a whole buncha things, through unnecessary mud. And what's worse? When you actually have more dimwits, who actually jump on this bandwagon like a bunch of sniveling, grunting cavemen/cavewomen.

Religion, at least from what I can understand and what I’ve learned, seeks it’s place in reality so as to try and show people that it all makes sense and that everything is connected. Fiction, on the other hand, seeks to liberate people from the confines of rules and regulations and all other things that we’re bound by and sometimes pulled down by. It’s the key to letting our imaginations grow and to appreciate all that we would not have thought of had someone not conjured something so simple yet profound with their magical use of words. So what's got my neurons in a knot? Well how about the unnecessary need for people to drag religion and fiction all together into one dicey, spicy, unnecessary mess? See, my Newsfeed keeps getting inundated with excerpts from scripture, the Quran/Qur’an to be more precise...and you know what, that's cool an all ya know if it helps give meaning and a reflective perspective to Ramadan to those of you seeking it...but honestly, don't be a git and say ridiculous things like, 'Oh you know something is messed up with the world when people spend money and make movies like Harry Potter a blockbuster while there are people in Somalia dying without food or water.' I'm sorry pal but there's nothing wrong with the world and in case you haven't noticed the world's been this same exact, self absorbed way for a very, very long time.

Although I must admit, I'm glad you have some sort of empathy/sympathy coursing through your veins...shows you're still human or at least have a bit of your humanity intact. But here's my question to you, what have you done/contributed towards providing relief or helping out with the drought situation in Somalia lately? Don't sit there and bitch about something that everyday average Joes' and Janes' enjoy partaking in. If you don't wanna be one of them then that's your choice, but please, don't go around making obnoxious statements. If anything maybe you might wanna take a look at the global headlines as well...instead of making all this hullaballoo about how Somalia isn't getting any relief or aid because it's an Islamic nation (IMHO this is definitely the most preposterous thing I've heard so far)...why don't you stop slandering and bringing to light such unfounded statements, and instead, take a nice good long look at the headlines of the papers of the neighboring Islamic states. There was this other post that popped up on my Newsfeed that was an excerpt from I assume, a leading daily in the U.A.E that went on to highlight how approximately 500 tonnes of food (how much freaking food is that?!) finds it's way to trash cans and dumped out. The source of the food dump? Well how do Iftaar buffets organized by hotels sound for a start? (for those who don't know what Iftaar is...it's the time when the fast for the day during Ramadan is broken...for more detailed info hit up Google...I hear reading is good fer ya) People gotta pay quite a bit to be able to sample and enjoy the finest cuisines being dished out at those buffets. Well obviously, after long hours of not eating or drinking anything it's no wonder that a lot of the food cannot be consumed. Your body sorta kinda comes up with a way to handle that sorta thing. So what ends up happening? Hey here's an idea....Hmmm if patrons aren't eating let's chuck that food out cuz hey who else could possibly use it right? Talk about double standards...the city of Dubai besides being known as a tourist's paradise *cough bullshit*, how about melanoma/skin cancer paradise instead? It's definitely the world's biggest farce. Underneath all that glamour you see, remains hidden the stark, naked truth. Anyway my rants about Dubai and that good for nothing place are definitely for another post and not for this one anyway. None the less, you would think that these people would have had the common decency to get this food out to people who can barely afford even one meal during the day...these people would be those at the labour camps who, toil day in and out in ruthless and merciless conditions so as to put up those glass towers in that City of Glass. Yeah those people...don't you think they deserve a bit of the G-man's mercy? And isn't it especially part of the season to give to the needy?

Alright let's forget that and go back to the Somalia issue...so if the rest of the world is being all racist and communalist (no not Communist, the 2 words bear absolutely no resemblance to each other ) about getting relief there then what the hell are the sister and brother nations that are not communalist doing about it? Oh yeah I know they're wasting if not squandering all that potentially relief worthy stuff away. Seriously people think before you start posting your gaffs online...there is nothing more obnoxious and revolting than bringing your obnoxious selves to light. It makes the rest of humanity especially those who still thankfully think, act, represent and carry themselves with grace and dignity hang their heads in shame.

Oh and one other thing, as I've mentioned in a previous post. If you wanna go around raising awareness and doing humanitarian work do it out of the goodness of your heart not out of any religious agenda and don't bring religion into the equation. Yeah don't worry the G-man or whatever other higher power it is you believe in or don't is watching. You don't need to keep a physical tab on it ya know? It kills the whole doing it out of the goodness of your heart notion....it makes what you do seem something that's more of an obligation than a choice.

On that note I bring this post to an end. I figure for some of y'all it's the holy month of Ramadan so Ramadan Kareem to y'all and I hope it's a good and reflective one. For the rest of y'all well I hope things are going well in general and that life has been treating you decently...and well if it hasn't, then there ain't no point in keeping your chin up unless you yourself are convinced that that's what you should be doing. Take a little time off and think things through and you will definitely be surprised by what you find, and believe me life revels in doling out surprises.

How To Save a Life

2011-07-15T08:32:00.000-07:00

Hey people, welcome to another episode of verbal rantage, the perfect place you wanna be in when you have too much built up in your head and the only way to get it out is via the gift of words. Yes it's a non-refundable gift, them gift of words are....none the less, I hope the week has treated you all well. If anything, Happy Harry Potter Day!!! and for those of you alien to the concept of the boy wizard...well Happy Friday to you.

So let's get to the point shall we? Besides loving 'The Fray' 's music....Right, well I was watching the tube yesterday and while going through the guide to see what was on the regular programming list I came across something on the one channel that had NOTHING to do with, thankfully, home improvement, or fashion tips or whatever the hell goes on the tele during the day. Man I'm telling you these darn shows ruin morning tele watching goodness, instead I wind up watching Hannah Montanna and Wizards of Waverly Place and Disney goodness lol. So, I came across this program on the guide, running on one of the channels that said it was an insight into Leprosy. I got all excited 'cuz you know there's this huge stigma 'bout what leprosy is and it's not something commonly seen around the Northern quadrant, except maybe in some very select cases/situations. I couldn't resist the educational experience and tuned in to watch what I thought was a brief documentary or you know of those health show things that is all out to enrich the human learning experience. I switch out to it and I think I was met with quite a fair bit of disappointment....it was like one of those infomercials that was basically asking you to sponsor if not call up and join and donate money on a monthly basis to make sure people get the treatment. I have no beef with the whole collect money to make medical supplies more available to those who are not in a situation to do so. What I dislike majorly and severely is the need to have religious attachments/affiliations to said charitable causes. Seriously, what the hell does religion have to do with saving lives? Then the program went on to show personal life stories of victims of leprosy from Nepal and India (to name a few places, they wouldn't name the rest) and they tossed in shots of people representing pretty much all the age demographics. And the dude doing the whole infomercial thing was all,

"Please call now and please help make a difference. While were talking about X's life story many more people have been diagnosed with leprosy. Every minute 3 people are diagnosed with leprosy. Please call, send money for a good cause so we can stop this disease from ruining more lives."

This was followed by a 'True story' incident thing, where the guy goes on to explain oh next we'll show you a segment 'bout the life of X. Listen to her story and see how she was treated like if not worse than animals by everyone, especially those closest to her heart when the more devastating aspects of this disease ruined her life. This was followed by panning into pretty much filthy surroundings that one would expect a '3rd world' nation if not a developing nation to have. This only adds to the ignorance of the common man living oceans and continents away from said 'Developing nations.' So next thing you know people have the 'Oh this shit only happens in Slumdog Millionaire places, we're good and have nothing to worry about' mentality creep in. On a more personal note...I hated that movie, it was plain garbage, I've seen better Hindi movie adaptations of the concept them lads from the UK were trying to adapt and bring to the big screen. Anyway ranting about that movie is something for another post.

Going back to what I was saying...I think it's necessary that people get a general idea of what leprosy is and know the more debilitating effects of leprosy but stop treating it like something that happens only in some ass backwards place...because it can happen anywhere. I mean it's a freaking bacteria that kickstarts the process, and those bacterial buggers are more resilient than bleeding roaches, they have the possibility and flexibility to mutate and evolve into more hybrid forms...forms that may turn out to be resistant to any form of therapy that's out there in the market today. Honestly...quit playing the ignorance card...I understand the need to set up charitable organizations that enable if not help the needy/poor/destitute from gaining access to medical supplies, but stop tagging religion into something that it has nothing to do with.

Religion is not the poster child for one's humanity and one's compassion. If anything, it guides and highlights that through tales/myths and verses from passages of scripture...regardless of the book you follow. It is not religion that defines humanity but humanity that defines religion. It is because of what we think and feel, that, we interpret faith the way we wish to. Religion is a funny thing, it's malleable yet when asked questions about it we seem to have such concrete answers. Anyway...Humanity isn't all that dead and gone yet ya know? Just appealing to one's compassionate side makes a helluva difference...people should honestly believe in it and try it sometimes, instead of being ignorant ponces who don't use that brain in their heads to think before they act or speak and have that whole foot in mouth syndrome going.

All of that being said though...you gotta give credit where it's due as well. It's a good thing that there's people out there who cares enough 'bout their fellow citizens that they actually try and spread awareness 'bout diseases that most people are lucky enough not to encounter in their lives. I'm big on the awareness spreading and the campaigning that goes into awareness spreading, I'm just not big on the need for religion to do so. Religion gets in the way too often these days for pretty much anything and everything and most of the times it's in the news these days, it's all for the wrong reason. Whatever happened to the messages of peace and love? Are they just a myth? Or just something the hippies were hip and happy with back in the day?

Well that's a wrap for now...and so here's me peacing out...Until next time, hope all is well with you guys and have yourselves an awesome weekend.

Centennial

2011-07-08T14:11:00.000-07:00

Well centennial does call for a celebration now don't it? Who knew I'd hit the 100 mark? Okay fine so this is the 101st post but I hadn't realized it was until I was fiddling around with a few other things that needed to be fiddled around with. I was going through this 'lets change how this blog looks' phase and as you can clearly see....not much happened there. None the less...What started out as a way for me to infuse some sorta humor quotient into my rather uneventful if not sun dried tomato life has definitely grown into my canvas heck playdough for my bouts of verbal carnage....well not without it's share of victims of course especially those of y'all who take the time out to tune in. None the less I wanted to give a huge shout out of thanks and then some to you unshakeable and rather unbreakable soldiers who have marched on through these treacherous trenches of posts. Your grit, courage, stalwarty-ness (I just wanted to use the word...so dear language and grammar Nazis go with the flow if humor and easygoing-ness and cease and desist from throwing objects both real and virtual, thank you) and enthusiasm is definitely worthy if medals if honor and then some.

What can I say about getting yo this point and where it all goes from here? Firstly let me just say this is the first time I've actually hit the 100 mark with anything...okay fine that's not true if you include TV shoes that have reached the 100th episode mark, and word limits...other than that no I don't really recall any other century-tastic things I've done so far. I'm not one for promises and schnazz of the sort but hey a long as life has fun hurling (yeah life skipped the tossing part with me and promoted me to Hurlsville) curveballs and yorkers worthy of Malinga...be certain that I definitely will have a thing or 2 to say about it. So once again thanks for sticking around for those of you who have been arm twisted into reading as well as those of you who fall under the category of brave volunteers....you're all shining beacons emphasizing the importance of literacy :P....and from my part here's to another 50 posts before the next bunch of thank you's pour out.

Well definitely look forward to updates because, with me, one thing is for sure...there always will be something or the other that will be updated...besides my brain i.e....apparently those weren't part of the guarantee, warranty when the prototype was first issued. There are quite a few things I'm looking forward to this summer but hey I can't list 'em all in one go can I? I mean where's the fun in that?! Baby steps people...baby steps, one good small thing at a time! One thing I definitely am looking forward to, though it's somewhere towards the end of August is, the release of the Angel & Faith series by Dark Horse Comics. Two very interesting and awesome characters from the B-verse who were played by equally amazing actors might I add. I always thought that if Angel had gone on for a few more seasons would Faith eventually become a part of the 'Fang gang'? Personally I think she would've been a better fit with the L.A gang than with the Scoobies. Man I definitely would have loved to see the TV show equivalent but hey you make do with what you have and get right? At least there's a comic book coming out with them headlining it...I think it's gonna be an awesome series especially taking into consideration the premise of the series. Buffy season 9 is also something I'm definitely looking forward to but come August 31st I would really love having a copy of the A&F series in my hand...if possible if not just gonna have to wait until I get back. Wheeeee here's to growing libraries and collections!!!!!

A'ite people that's it from me for now. Have yourselves an awesome weekend and here's until next time. Stick around...you never know what just might catch your fancy and attention.

Buffyverse Babbles

2011-06-29T22:13:00.000-07:00

Alright so welcome back kids to another episode of epic rants of things running through my head...perhaps it's 'cuz of the way I've been feeling the last few days...trapped within the confines of my weary, frustrated mind. The feeling probably resounds best with the way a caged animal feels. It's one of those things where your mind is going absolutely nuts with a gazillion ideas, a gazillion thoughts and bajillion feelings about a crazy amount of situations, scenarios and thoughts. Talk 'bout some heavy mental weight lifting...anyway, I think I needed a catalyst to get going here....well actually that's not true, I've had enough things I've wanted to post on here and that I've been or rather I'm working on at the moment. But apparently other thoughts kinda overtake others that you have in your head, but then again that's the way of the mind and the way of inspiration.

So what's on the menu today then folks? Well...how 'bout a dose of rambles, rants, thoughts and opinions on Joss Whedon and Whedonverse (well this one involves more or less the Buffyverse, yes it includes Angel as well, what with it being a spin-off of BtVS and all.) So as a fair warning, if you have no clue about Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel for that matter and don't really care, I suggest you back away from this post right now and I dunno go read a book or watch a show. This post definitely isn't for you as it goes on and on about my thoughts and opinions 'bout the B-verse and then some. Right, now that the warning has been served, lets get down to business shall we?

Now where do I begin 'bout my induction into the Whedon Universe and all things if not most things Whedon-tastic? My first exposure to JW's world was Angel...I find it kinda funny that I watched Angel first, which in turn led the way to me watching BtVS...from what I've heard and read it's the other way around :P considering how BtVS came out first and Angel branched off from the mothership after Season 3. Call me biased, but I personally preferred the first 3 seasons of BtVS as opposed to the last few seasons of Buffy. Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE SMG and I love the reasons behind why Joss created the character, and I love Buffy too!! She was on quite the growth curve and then Seasons 5 through 7 happened where her character growth and development was kinda sorta spotty....there were some great story-lines there and there were some real crappy story-lines that had me going 'Seriously, what the hell were they thinking?' That whole Glory thing was annoying, so was Riley Finn and whatever the hell he was doing, then there was the evolution of Spike and things with Spike...yeah, I'm not a huge Spike fan...well I like him but there's only limited doses of him that I can take. I think I appreciated his presence more on Angel than on BtVS...yeah it's fun to hear that Cockney accent and all but like I said....limited doses dude. Hey don't get me wrong, but seriously wtf was all that 'bout with Buffy for the longest time? Sometimes that seemed to be more or less the focus of an episode than the actual storyline and that really was a put off for me. But...in the same breath doesn't mean that AtS wasn't without it's share of flaws...I mean what the hell was Season 4 all about? While most people might absolutely hate the 5th Season, I think the final season of Angel definitely was b8r than the last season of Buffy....there may be people screaming from the rooftops going I'm outta my mind, but hey opinions differ on the subject and this is mine. In fact that whole Season that involved Jasmine just sucked ass, I mean wat the hell people? I swear it was one of those moments when the writers had a massive brain fart moment and decided *Hey guys let's come up with something absolutely ridiculously retarded 'cuz the viewers will watch and accept just about anything and everything and don't have minds of their own*. I actually enjoyed Season 5 of Angel, contrary to popular belief and thought 'bout this season in particular, the whole handling, infiltrating and dealing with Wolfram & Hart was pretty awesome. Honestly I thought Angel as a show was much darker than Buffy...well I guess it pretty much matched up to that whole dark, murky, mysterious nature of Angel. In addition there was this whole gritty, darkness (that includes humor as well) to the show too...well according to JW Angel is more Film Noir and Buffy is more or less a musical. Despite how much spunk Buffy lost, compared to it's first 3 seasons, the one thing that needs to be applauded is the writing. Okay yeah sure the plot also deals with writing, but I'm talking 'bout the dialogue...especially when a life or death situation or an intensely dramatic situation comes up in the episode and you expect the most cliched line in the history of writing to appear...you're completely caught off guard with something humorous and witty that breaks that momentary air of anticipation and anxiety.

Now JW is quite the master of creativity...I have my reasons. I mean he came up with this wicked cool idea of carrying his TV show over into the graphic novel arena...personally I've never heard of that happening before, I've read of things being adapted from graphic novels. The man is a genius, I mean if anything he gave life to the whole vampire, demons, things that go bump in the night concept on the boob tube. Well at least one of his ideas did, and then there was that other piece of brilliance titled "Firefly" that gave life to the whole idea of a space cowboy with a crew thing or rather a Sci-fi Western? if you may? Yeah sure if you think about it it might seem like a ridiculous idea...and if you haven't watched it I strongly suggest and recommend that you watch it...it's just bloody brilliant. But I digress, going back to the actual things that I want to talk 'bout in this Whedonous post...like I was saying, he's one of the guys who has brought this whole concept of moving TV shows over to the graphic novel arena and why the hell not?! It's still visual but the only difference b/w the shows and graphic novels is not hearing the stars acting the scenes out. Besides, in the graphic novels you can make those characters pull off the craziest action sequences and bring out the craziest demons ever without having to worry 'bout budgets for special effects and costumes and make up and all those fun things. It's a wonderful platform for one's imagination to run rampant and to wreak havoc in Imaginotopia...I liked how he decided to go on with his shows regardless of what the networks decided...now that's dedication. He switched out the medium to broadcast the thoughts wandering in his imagination 'cuz he wasn't done yet. On that note though, bring yourselves back to Earth I'm not spending this entire post on commenting 'bout the awesomeness that is the mind of JW, more or less bringing about an awareness to those of you who have never heard of him, and bitching 'bout him to those of you who know 'bout him. Hopefully there aren't too many people reading this post who don't know who the hell Joss Whedon is, in which case Imma set that mummy from Mutant Enemy that shows up at the end of the credits on you people. I think what would be interesting is if Joss actually decided to go ahead and make BtVS Season 8 and Angel: After the Fall into animated movies with voice overs from the actors who played those characters...it would be the next best thing to get that set loyal fan base back to sum'n they've loved. Yeah I know easier said than done, and that it mostly depends on budgets and schedules and the willingness of the actors to want to do sum'n like that, and taking into consideration if all the moolah that goes into making it will be worth it or not. BtVS Season 8 took 4 years to complete and is about 40 issues long, I'm actually gonna dive into it when I get the chance to. Oh yeah I've stocked up on issues for both BtVS Season 8 and Angel: ATF....I remember when I used to read them religiously, but then life got in the way and I didn't exactly have nor make time to keep up with it....I suddenly and randomly remembered 'bout them comeex while working out and sorting through some mental jetstreams of thought. That's when I decided to do a quick catch up on the series before I set about getting a hold of the issues to read at some point in time. I have this habit of collecting, accumulating and waiting for an opportune moment to read 'em...oh and when the opportune moment arrives I'm pretty much a lost cause and can't be pulled outta it until I'm done. It's one of those things that I think is an integral part of the human condition, the part where you just have this need to feel like part of something you know? To be part of the human experience, and sometimes it's what you dive headlong into in search of inspiration and motivation....believe me I've had quite a few episodes of needing inspiration these past few months. But that's not the focus of this post, so going back to what I was talking about.

So I got the Cliff notes version of what was going on in the Buffyverse and I think when I was done I had a very hard time putting my jaw back together along with my eyeballs and I was going 'Are you kidding me? What the hell? How the hell did I miss out on all of this?' My reactions were as follows, shocked, surprised and infuriated I'm not gonna go into details about what exactly the storyline is all about or what exactly happened to or rather with the story 'cuz there just ain't enough space to dole on 'bout that. Besides if you really wanna find out go ahead and don your "Nancy Drew" and "Hardy Boys" hats on and detect on google, it'll be a much more concise version compared to what I'd write up on here. It left me on this mad search about wat the hell Joss planned on doing with both series...well first things first, though this part of my googling efforts while on the quest for more info didn't really evoke any sorta emotions haha probably because I'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing for Angel to move from IDW to Dark Horse. I guess only time will tell....none the less, first off comic houses changed. I think the second thing that was mentioned was more involvement from JW as far as both series are concerned, apparently he wasn't involved with the storylines and creative aspects of Angel at IDW than he was with Dark Horse and Buffy and all of that fun stuff...so I guess it's definitely something to look forward to, just to see how IDW ties up the whole story arc they've been covering for the past few years with the Angel series and how it ties in with Dark Horse and their take on AtS.

Now if you haven't noticed, I'm a hugggeee fan of Angel and I'm pretty much shocked with what happened with the character in BtVS Season 8....it makes me wonder if Joss hates the character of Angel or just loves the idea/character so much that he keeps throwing monkey wrenches into whatever Angel has done and accomplished so far. I feel the guy NEVER gets a break lol, it's always been one hurdle after another, one campaign after another to not only prove himself but to flex his strength of character and his resolve in being that warrior/champion that he's supposed to be. On the one hand I think the monkey wrenches make Angel not only a very compelling character, but every time he falls he gets up stronger and goes forth with a lotta grit and resolve. Though, I'm not sure how what's happened to him this time around is going to make him stronger or more determined for that matter. So yes I'm very curious to see what happens to Angel in Season 9 and just how he deals with everything...trust me Season 8 ends with quite a bang, but then again what else do you expect from JW right? It wouldn't be Whedon worthy if it didn't end with a bang that had you going "WTF? WTF!!! Where the hell did that come from?!?!"...well in not so many words, a lot of exclaiming, squealing and mouth clamping occurs when you watch a Whedon finale.

From what I hear 'bout upcoming issues, I think there's actually going to be an "Angel and Faith" series and you know what? I think that might actually be a very interesting series to pick up and read. Faith has definitely been a very interesting character and I think Eliza Dushku's portrayal of the character has a lot to do with that. Heck all the actors on those shows respectively created the impact they did due to their portrayal of the characters...I can't imagine anyone else other than David Boreanaz playing Angel, it's one of those solidified images/set in stone things. None the less, like I was saying, Faith's character has always been one of those that definitely piqued my curiosity w.r.t her origins and how she turned into that chick you first saw on BtVS and her constant evolution. Besides her manic tendencies and wild, violent fits of rage and everything else, there's this child-like quality to her, especially when she's manipulated by the Mayor. Yeah she's not huge on the trust factor with anyone, but there's this vulnerability about her, she wants people to see her as a badass who can take care of herself and doesn't give jackshit 'bout anything or anyone around her 'cuz she's never had to depend on anyone her whole life...but in actuality she covets the normalcy that Buffy has...the family, the set of constant friends to keep her grounded and in check. I think Angel is the ideal mentor for her, and I back this up with episodes "5 by 5" and "Sanctuary" from Season 1 of Angel, well along with the episode "Orpheus". She's one of those characters who just believes everybody gives up on her anyway, so what's the point in hoping or thinking anybody would care about her, and it definitely catches her off guard when of all people it's Angel who steps up to the plate to be there for her, despite everything she did to him or both him and Buffy, as well as the gang. I'm definitely stoked about this series, you know I think if AtS were still a show, then they should have definitely thought of adding Faith to the Fang gang, I think it would've been an interesting addition. Yes that would make 2 champions trying to find their way through the fog of guilt and remorse and on the journey to redemption, and it would've added a different dynamic to the group I think. I guess one can only wait and see as to what the future holds, but yeah the "Angel & Faith" series is definitely gonna be a give and take one....actions, belief, trust and faith revisited and returned perhaps? That being said, I'm waiting to see what happens to Angel from here-on....and it should be interesting to see if Joss integrates the Fang gang with the Scooby gang....or perhaps I should adopt the no expectations policy and wait and see just what JW has to toss at us.

This brings me to the next point, and perhaps the concluding point for this post...the way JW treats his characters and the story-line. Usually when people rave about you know amazing characters or character chemistry the creators tend to take a backseat and go "Hmmm should we milk this cow for what it's worth?" or in some cases they go "Let's just stick to the original story plan", it tends to be a case of the former than the latter most often. I think a writer/creator (of pretty much anything) he decides to stick to his/her creative guns and go with the original plan just exudes integrity and balls to go ahead with it. I think some of the best stories told are those where the unexpected happens, well maybe in some remote part of your imagination/mind you thought it would happen but not in your wildest dreams did you actually expect it to happen. A very popular and recent character, in my humble opinion, would be that of Severus Snape from the Harry Potter series I mean that's what the magic and power of writing is all about....so as far as JW is concerned he's sitting very comfortably in that Top 10 list of writers I admire amongst others. I think his shows have the highest number of pivotal character deaths and he makes no bones about it nor is he sorry 'bout it....yeah it's bloody upsetting when he does that, but, it's just something expected with him I guess. I guess without death there is no life and no appreciation for what you have in this life. On that note though, I sincerely hope he doesn't have any immediate intentions of getting Angel killed just yet, yes that's my primary concern haha :P, but oh well if it happens then I guess it happens... :|...maybe Angel just might Shanshu his way through it...who knows right? Another thing that I particularly like with JW's characters is that they're neither black nor white, they're all very stark and sharp shades of gray. They aren't perfect and they never will be perfect, they definitely have their dark, devious sides but at the same time they're all in a constant state of evolution and progress...they're people with principles and it's their principles that define them, mould them and shape them through their trials and tribulations. JW paints excellent gray characters, and I think it's quintessential 'cuz that's something everyone can identify with, nobody is perfect and honey if you think you are, snap outta it, perfection is a very very very high peak to climb up to. Lastly, I think JW finds some of the best actors to essay the roles of the characters he scripts out...think about it!...Nathan Fillion (currently of Castle fame)...nobody would've known of the guy had it not been for Caleb, if not the more popular Whedon avataar --> Captain Malcolm Reynolds, then there's David Boreanaz who has both Angel and Booth as the major roles that changed his life, Alyson Hannigan, Morena Baccarin and so many others that I would mention, but if I did then that would be an entire list of itself, but you guys know who else, you don't need me to repeat names on here. He definitely has tapped out quite a few very talented artists. Oooh, imagine a show starring both Nathan Fillion and David Boreanaz?! How awesome would that be? I know I'd tune in on a very regular basis to watch a show with those 2 in it.

Well on that note I must say that this concludes this part of some Whedonistic rambling, raving and ranting. I know I haven't mentioned much 'bout Joss's other shows like Firefly, Dollhouse, Dr Horrible's singalong blog feature for that matter, but that's all for another post. I just had to go nutso 'bout the way I felt 'bout the Buffyverse at the moment...well here's to future issues from the Buffyverse, may it be strong, steady and consistent and in character if anything. Take care minions and I hope things are going well for all of ya'll, if not hang in there, monkey wrenches are tossed into plans for a reason....or at least I hope they are, otherwise the Universe just has a sick and twisted sense of humor.

Oh yeah and one more thing, the pics below are in no way my creation, all courtesy Google images and wikipedia and what have you...I'm creative just not that artistically creative...yet..

Cue Card Confessions - The Wave...

2011-05-31T11:06:00.000-07:00

Hey guys and gals, it's been a few days since I spread some verbal carnage in the virtual world, so here I am :D. Well actually I wanted to present a lil' bit of a special sum'n I'm working on, well the title of this post pretty much is the title of this new project I'm embarking on. People who know me know my tendency to go crazy in the head space with things I think of. I guess this is just my brain's way of saying it ain't happy with the stimulation it receives. None the less, it's been a stressful and crazy few weeks...I'd go into details about it, but, if I do then I might say a lot of unparliamentry things that I could've avoided saying....it sucks when you're your own censor board...you kinda sorta bleep everything...*sigh, smacks head*....None the less this new project in a way is a challenge for me, since I have a habit of writing long ass poems, so this in a way is a way for me was challenging. My inspiration was my lil' stack of cue cards, that at the moment is kinda sorta scattered all over the place. If anything I hope this is something that grows at least for a little bit, I don't envision much but it's fun when you think of a project and go with the flow and see how far you can go with it. Feedback of any form, shape, size and format is greatly appreciated so go crazy and leave a lil' sum'n in that comments section down below folks, if nething I can give you plenty of virtual cookies :P. Here goes nothing :)....enjoy!

Installment #1 - The Wave

I sit here,

In my corner,

In my place,

Questioning

Oh unanswerable
fate.

Pondering life’s

Twists and turns
off late.

Pens and pencils,

At the ready,

To rewrite,

Re-draw,

All and everything,

On a clean slate.

Whispers and words
Of encouragement,

Making their way;

Ever so gently…

Like soft, lapping
waves,

Amidst the turbulent
undercurrent,

Of despair and hurt,

Residing and
rampaging,

The ground beneath
My feet.

Hold up…hold on…

They say.

Giving up, letting down,

Ain’t the way,

They say.

Let me be your anchor,

Your buoy, they say;

Take my hand!

They say,

Akin to a plea…

A prayer.

Follow my lead,

They say;

Let’s swim ashore,

They say.

A'ite peepz, time for me to go crack the akademia nut, hope all is well with all of you. Wishing all you awesome people only the very best that there is 'cuz you guys deserve it. A'ite I'm off to not only crack the akademia nut but to ponder my next problem....replacement headphones....I HATE it when my headphones die their miserable death...sigh oh well, out with the old in with the new. Must find a way to maintain the peace and equilibrium quotient I oh so selfishly gain from my muzeeekkk!! Right well then kids, I'm off, have a fantastic week and weekend and g'luck for any upcoming Herculean tasks coming your way!

Flickerin' Slivers

2011-05-25T15:41:00.000-07:00

A'ite lets see what I have for you kids today, lets just say the major areas involve comeex, thoughts and tv shows . Right so lets get this started before I lose myself in a prologue to set the stage for this whole thing.

I hope things are going well with ya'll, if not well I'll say the one thing that's said to me often...things will get b8r and just watch out for the silver lining, though technically silver is a lil' over-rated, if you really want a lining aim for platinum, more value for your shares n stocks and all that financial mumbo jumbo that I'm not at all familiar with. See usually when things reach a whirlwind phase in my life there's always something that comes out at that exact moment...it could be an album from a fav group, a movie by a fav actor or even a book or I guess any work of art that makes you feel like there's something out there that captures and understands exactly what you're going through and if anything it "seems" like a sure fire sign from the Universe that you and your trials and tribulations are being watched, monitored and observed and you don't necessarily have to go through it by yourself. Well to be honest I see it as the Universe or whatever you want to call things around you...trying to connect with you, trying to gauge what exactly you're going through and giving you something to turn to and a voice that can express the exact sentiments coursing through your veins, body and mind. It's like all that's imploding, accumulating/aggregating within suddenly found a way to expend itself and suddenly found the "green light" to go on and spread itself in that mysterious ether that's out there.

With that being said and the friendliness of the ether being spread here's me going back to the main point. So back in 2003 when things weren't looking all that great for me, it may seem trivial now, but back then it was a pretty big deal and the repercussions still make their presence known time and again. But yeah back in 2003 when things were headed for a good ol' downward spiral and it just seemed like I was flailing and thrashing in the dark with absolutely no chance of seeing even a sliver of light and with a very very good chance of drowning in that darkness I found inspiration in the most unconventional source. Growing up was for lack of a better word, interesting, for most parts...I spent most of my childhood as a loner, I guess I wasn't the "cool" kid everyone wanted to spend every second with, which I was fine with back then too haha. But yes, the point being, right from the time I was a kid I found other things to ease and appease my turmoils, the 2 things that NEVER left my side and that I knew I could count on were music and writing. Though the writing bug kinda kicked in when I was in Grade 5 or 6...but creative expression was always something that I could lose myself in. I guess that's what some people tag as daydreaming :P, but hey think about it, without dreams who are we really? And more importantly where would we be if it weren't for dreams? So...in '03 this movie "Kal Ho Naa Ho" came out, and for those of you who know me you might chalk it up to me being a super mega huge fan of Shahrukh Khan, sure that's a reason but there was just something in there that clicked, registered and locked itself within, maybe it was the music, maybe it was the time the flick came out, maybe it was the story. But there definitely was something that resonated within and probably was the something I needed to get my mental gears and myself back on track and to keep fighting the uphill fight to get back to the top of that mountain that was determined to see me fall. Sure it seems like something you'd laugh yourself silly or snort yourself away saying "Psht, so a movie changed your life? A bunch of song, dance and melodramatic sequences is what you needed?" Well that's not entirely true, it was a contributing factor, though the major credit goes to some of the most amazing people I met during that time as well as people with whom bonds just further solidified and has grown into perhaps the strongest bonds one can think of. It's almost like the key made out of dwarf star matter that Superman has for his 'Fortress of Solitude' :P...hey it's not my fault I decided to revisit the 'All Star Superman' animated flick haha.

But going back to what I was saying, things have been a little shitty...actually wait that's an understatement...they've been quite frustrating, flummoxing, annoying and aggravating and I'm ready to reorganize a few nasal structures on a few people. But, there's no point in saying any of that 'cuz I'm not gonna act on it, considering how I prefer peace and tranquility over reorganization of structures that can get quite messy. Anyhow while on my downward spiral my brain was kind enough to send memory flashes of me reading the "WONK" series, that's right...WONK...as in World Of New Krypton and so I decided I'd have a lil' bit of an indulgence and finish reading up the series. I'm not sure what people's sentiments 'bout this series are, but, I enjoyed it...maybe 'cuz it was a break from the monotonous and tedious life I lead at the moment, and a lil' bit of colour, dialogue, action and a storyline is what I needed to add that spice to my life :P. But all said and done, I enjoyed the series and the entirety of the story. It's a concept that has been touched on before, and you see a bit of it in the Dean Cain, Teri Hatcher "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman" series, I guess more so twoards the end of Season 3/beginning of Season 4. However that being said, the follow-up Superman solo series titled "Grounded" is one that I'm having an absolute blast reading. This series resonates with my initial statements and sentiments 'bout finding that one thing that just clicks with you and understands you best during certain moments of your life. I guess I found something to keep my footing and keep me grounded with the "Grounded" series, and I know for a fact that this is one of those issues/series that's going on my collector's shelf. It's such a simple premise but every simple problem is layered in complexities that we either see or we miss out on 'cuz we're so caught up in trying to wrap our heads around things that we miss out on finer details. Sometimes the best way to solve the worst problems is to go right back to the very start and approach it with a Tabula Rasa mentality...go right back to the beginning and start it up all over again, and you will definitely see things that you missed out on the first time around. It's all part of the growing and learning process to be honest, sometimes it just really sucks, but we aren't exactly given a choice in the matter are we?

Well peepz time I guess that's it for now, seeing how it's time for me to take off, but I do hope all is going well for all of ya'll. This post was s'posed to be longer but to be honest I don't really remember what I was gonna write for the rest of the post or where my train of thought was headed :P, the price I pay for not finishing up posts the day I start 'em *tsk tsk*. Oh well, end of the day sum'n is b8r than nothing :P and I do have valid reasons to get sidetracked, it's called...Akademia...Take care and keep 'em spirits bolstered, if not find your fix to keep 'em bolstered :).

Checkpoints...Checkmate?

2011-05-19T14:06:00.000-07:00

Well I was feeling a tad bit checkerish...so sue me! Actually hold on to that thought..don't sue me just yet, I'm not sure I can conjure them funds outta the ether just yet. All that alchemy and magick training are only in their initial stages....so when it's time for me to graduate I shall send out a public msg and then you can all get in line to do sue away to glory and beyond!

Anyhoo, moving along...It's funny indeed...lately I've been reading msgs about success and *Phew did it* and *AAAAHHHHH finally done* and lots of reflections & revelations about the long road to success and all that warm, sappy, hallmarky stuff where the predominant feature has been aah there's no point in looking to the past and the future is what it's all about. Not to sound like the buzz kill at the party, but without the shadows of the past licking away like an icy cold chill creeping into your bones every once in a while to remind you of things both done and undone how exactly do you think the future is gonna give you your road signs to get there? Your past doesn't decide your future, that's for sure, I mean hell if it did then I'd be beyond help at the moment...regardless of how awesome or traumatic your past was, it counts in every single way towards making you the person you become. There's this whole adage 'bout never forgetting your roots, what I take from that is never forget where you started from....'cuz you never know when the dice rolls yet again and things change just like that in the blink of an eye and with the snap of a finger....though to be honest that's something I can see happening to me more than the rest of the people I know lol. Must be an inter-life collective debt repayment program :P. Dammit and here I thought with every new life matrix I'm popped into I could just hit the reset button and start out on a clean slate....so much for that theory huh? Reminds me of my student loans, they just can't stop collecting lol, even if there's nothing in my account and then the bank charges me for having no funds and being overdrawn....gah!!! I'm a'ready bankrupt and I've still got miles/kms to go before I walk outta those school hallways, regardless of the avataar of akademia I'm dealing with.

That being said, Congratulations!!!, to all you people heading up to the next phase of your journey...your destination and goal is a very noble one and I hope you all stay true to what that goal embodies and means. The path you're on ain't no joke, so if you're getting your kicks outta this 'cuz of all the wrong reasons then just brace yourself for impact some time either in the here and now or some time in the not so distant future, 'cuz the future comes racing towards you and before you know it what you thought would be eons away is presto holy count of monte cristo right there in front of ya! Sure I could give you a sermon on rising and falling but honestly there isn't anything more for me to say that you don't a'ready know. and if I say anything more 'bout rising and falling I might as well become the High Priestess of Feenixism. But I will say one thing, regardless of what goals and dreams you're trying to achieve...since most of 'em stem from the heart and are the sparks that fuel that hungry fire of passion within you....try not to crush someone else's dreams, hopes and aspirations in the process of getting to yours. The effect of crushing one's dreams is immeasurable, it's a deed so dastardly that unfortunately most people don't realize it until they're told about it or they're in a situation that they could've avoided. Dreams give us visions, gives us the tenacity to push ourselves just a lil' harder, just a step closer, nobody has the right to take yours away from you....and if they do then nobody and no force on this planet should stop you from chasing your dreams down....unless it involves fascism and global dictatorship and domination in which case hell yeah I'm joining whoever is trying to stop you haha. But under normal, non apocalyptic scenarios go as far as you have to and as long as you have to to get to where you've always seen yourself at. Start every new phase of the journey of your life with a clean slate, we all need to hit our own internal reset buttons every once in a while....we owe it to ourselves to view the world we live in with a renewed sense of clarity and purpose whenever we can. Sometimes the smallest freshest perspective can lead to gigantic leaps for many of us, so don't hesitate if you have to take a few steps back 'cuz that just means you're gonna jump 'bout 20 steps ahead!

A'ite well that's it from me for now, next time or some time soon when I actually get some time to sit down and write my soul away, perhaps a few season finale reviews? Or just a few show shoutouts! Hope all is going well with everyone, if not either hang in there or break the hell outta something. Once you're done doing that get yourself a nice big teddy bear to hug and a box of chocolates or take out to celebrate....celebrations work for both successes and failures. Apparently celebrating your failures is just as much fun as celebrating your successes, keeps you level headed and all of that. Besides, there's no greater trait in the world than having a good laugh at yourself, it sorta increases your tolerance to handle criticism and lets you get off of your high horse just a tad bit more gracefully instead of plopping right on to yer face. Cheers fer now peepz and have an awesome week/weekend ahead!

Ps: I just got my hands on Tintin comeex so guess who's over the moon right now and all excited and fired up to read those :D...that's right me!! As well as some Superman comeex, there's nothing greater in the world than letting your imagination run wild and free and having the experience of a lifetime. Gotta luv 'em comeex!!!

2011-05-11T10:10:00.005-07:00

To say this week has been one with quite a few amusing occurences is anything short of amusing....Lets see while I was trying to jam pack my overly packed brain with yet more information

But strangeness and absurdity aside, moments of reflection are often our strongest moments and at times our most defining moments. In my case neither fits the bill today, but I did have a very interesting time reminiscing about High School and just the entire experience. High School was an exciting time for me, well I'd love to generalize and say school was an absolute awesome-tastic train ride...and while that may be true at times, it doesn't bring about the same level of excitement or nostalgia as High School does fer me. It probably is because HS

2011-05-11T10:10:00.004-07:00

2011-05-11T10:10:00.003-07:00

2011-05-11T10:10:00.002-07:00

2011-05-11T10:10:00.001-07:00

To say this week has been one with quite a few amusing occurences is anything short of amusing....Lets see while I was trying to jam pack my overly packed brain with yet more information

Mama Mia!

2011-05-09T05:27:00.000-07:00

Ma, Mama, Mommy, Mum, Amma, Mumsy, Mummy, Madre, Ammi...so many words for the one true amazing creation of God...yes Dad's Incorporated I hear you exclaiming and crying out WHAT?! What about us?...Sorry...mums kinda take that first place, but you guys are right after :)...I mean c'mon you guys a'ready know you're amazing so you don't need verbal affirmations and confirmations :D...the maternal gang likes the verbal and non verbal appreciation a little more. But don't worry Dad squad...all of ya'll dads out there are our Superheroes and that title is irreplaceable and ain't sum'n that can be taken away from you by anybody. So just keep being that awesome superhero you are, besides, that's why there's Father's Day!

I'm not one to go in for the whole commercial aspect of things, for instance there's that annoying day in February when everything turns red outta nowhere and there's a flurry of activity in the chocolate aisle, jewelry stores, florists and wat not...ya know that annoying day called Valentine's Day...Now I'm sure when V day was first celebrated it had quite the sentimental or emotional side to it, then it became and over-commercialized Hallmark card moment, which in my humble opinion really does kill the significance of the whole celebrate love thing. Call me bitter or someone with a severe case of sour grapes, but that is one holiday/occasion/nonsensical day that really annoys me...anyhoo I do digress from the actual point. Mother's Day while it is an overly commercialized holiday/celebration these days, it's actually one that I look forward to. While my mother does love to say "Eh there's nothing special about Mother's Day it's just another day"...deep deep down in there I know she likes the minimal amount of spoilage and pampering she gets from us. It's minimal because a) Mom has restrictions as far as celebrations are concerned and b) it's kinda hard to figure out just what she would like for Mommy's Day...it's one of those trick questions and scenarios you find yourself in many a time in life. I know that's one day Dad breathes a little easier 'cuz he doesn't have to crack his nut to figure out what it is that Mom would LOVE as a present and he also knows he won't be grilled as much if he forgets 'cuz he's got us 2 offsprings to blame :P...Though chances of him forgetting are very slim 'cuz hey you're reminded of the day by practically anything and everything, from radio stations to TV ads to flyers and banners up at stores for major Mother's Day exclusive events and sales and what not.

Usually I try doing something different or something with the limited skill sets I have for my mumsy...in fact I remember this one time back in High School I wrote a poem for her and I showed a teacher or 2 of mine to see what they had to say, yes I love feedback it makes my day so much b8r and brighter *hint hint, nudge nudge*, and they sorta kinda got teary eyed I guess...or I had something in my eye momentarily that got my vision all fuzzy...none the less I gave the poem to my lovely mother and in not so many words she loved it. So when Day of the Mother rolled around the following year, I wrote up another poem and gave it to her and lo and behold this was her reaction..."Hmmm...I liked last year's poem more than this year's." Now there I was mighty pleased with myself as to what it was that I made for her and I think her response kinda blind-sided me...my reaction was more or less "Erm...that's great? But unfortunately, this is what you're getting this year. Sorry it's non refundable and irreplaceable at the moment, please try again next year." :P...now that was when I realized that if you have a wicked ass talent, okay maybe not wicked ass but hey there are some very gifted and talented people out there with their strongest skill sets, and you decide to use it to make something or create something for your mumsy, make sure you change it up a little every year. For instance, if you're an evil mastermind hell bent on taking over the world, and you're just starting out perhaps you should start with a jewelry store heist and give your Mama something from there the first time around, then next time hit a Bank...that way each year she knows there's some progress going on :P. Or if you're like other normal people and you're gifted in the Arts & Crafts department and if you happened to make sum'n involving the crazy ninja skills of Origami this year, then make sure you switch it up next year, paint something or do a glass painting or a tile painting...and that's about the extent of my knowledge about things in the Art world. I've never been one to possess much skills in that department, ask my mum and broda, I'm suer they'll definitely help clarify things and perhaps pitch in an extra unnecessary story or two. The price of clarification *sigh*.

None the less, this post isn't supposed to be the length of the Amazon River, but this is just an appreciation shout out to all you amazing mums out there. Clearly as ppl on here have seen my fb status, I EXCEL in the cheesiness and corny-ness of my lines :D, but I don't care, I mean every single word of those corny lines of mine. Let's face it, moms are amazing, and I'm truly blessed to have an uber cool, kickass, awesomely amazing mother :). Though sometimes it can be questionable as to who says the motherly things in our family, we do indulge in role reversals in our family...it's great, usually I'm the target that everyone sets out to scandalize...*sigh* being the youngest means NEVER catching a break. It's easy to take things for granted ya know? And it's very easy to take your parents for granted, you never really know just how much they do until you're in their position, and it always leaves you amazed and stunned with just how much ease and poise they pull things off...well it makes my heart all warm and fuzzy like hot chocolate with marshmallows :D. So if you haven't had the time yet to wish your mums just go give her the biggest bear hug you can probably muster and tell her you love her :)...even though mums like to state they don't really care either which way Mother's Day goes, it does matter to them and it does count for your love and appreciation to show itself every once in a while :). Which is also not to say that just because it is/was Mother's Day that you just make her feel all sorts of appreciated on that given day...like I said it helps when you keep changing things up...every few weeks do something completely unanticipated, send her to a spa...well if you're in a position to let her go on a shopping spree with a credit card then you let her do that lol, or if it's just one of those "Mum go put yer feet up, I got dinner tonight" scenarios she would appreciate it, unless you're the kinda chef who needs a fire extinguisher on stand by and the next best thing is to order pizza then hey you do that too lol. Maybe she might complain 'bout all the calories and weight gained 'cuz of that pizza later on, but hey the day off from the kitchen is definitely greatly appreciated lol. Yes I'm one of those kids from the camp that likes to say Mother's Day is everyday, my brother on the other hand says that when mom corners him with "Hmph you didn't even wish me" to which he gives her that ultimate look of innocence tossed in with puppy dog eyes and a devilish smirk...usually that ends up with him getting a head slap...which is entertaining to watch :P. I'm telling you people, my family is equivalent to a live action/live telecast version of Cartoon Network...we are Fun Unlimited, well minus the few outbursts here and there which usually resolves itself in yet another comical way.

A'ite boys and girls, you guys take care of yourselves, go give your mamas some love and appreciation and give yer good ol' dads a nice big hug as well just so they don't feel left out haha, though they might think you have other reasons why you're giving them a hug....such as a) borrowing the car, b) moolah, c) allowance raise perhaps, d) getting new gadgets and toys....just to name a few things :P. Well that's it for now from me, I hope you guys had a fantabulous weekend and here's hoping you all have a fantastical week ahead!

Song(s) of the Day:

Song: Mama
Artist/Band: Spice Girls
Album: Spice
Release Date: March 3, Circa 1997

Song: Mother of Mine
Singer: Neil Reid, well there's a certain bit of uncertainty, and I have no idea what album this is from...FYI
Release Date: Circa 1972

I must add this song mentioned above was a complete blast from the past moment, my mom LOVED listening to this song when I was 'bout 5 or 6 I think, and it used to be on the same audio cassette that had a couple other songs that we all loved singing to, such as "How much is that doggy in the window?" Haha good times.

M Waves

2011-05-08T04:28:00.000-07:00

No I'm not exploring the deep dark corners or facets of Physics...not because I don't want to...but probably because if I did then Newton, Einstein, Galileo, Copernicus, Faraday and Planck...to name a few would probably form a United Front, rise from their graves and hunt me down just to kick my ass. With that being said though...there is always madness yet immense meaning to my subjects...narcissistic much? Eh well I observe and learn from the best narcissists that I know...considering how I do know quite a few of 'em...perhaps it's a sign for me to turn all narcissisticy too eh? Oh right and by M waves I meant Mind waves lol, just so we're all on the same page here...and I guess you'll find out why in probably the next few lines/paragraphs and wat not...and no I'm not on any recreational substances that would elicit such thoughts...I think if I did go on these recreational substances they'd have the opposite effect on me...mine's all naturale...I was born this way people! :D...okay though I'm not sure how those around me deal with it precisely lol. Guess you're gonna have to ask 'em eh?

Now...moving along to more important things....the previous post per-se was started when things weren't exactly looking too much on the up and up of things. I couldn't exactly finish constructing my thought train due to technical difficulties as posed by the 'Emotional Railways'...damn you limbic system...damn you. None the less, this post is also to make a quick correction with regards to some information I posted on my previous post. I was under the assumption that the series finale of Smallville would be happening this Friday, as in today, however, the scintillating, exciting, rivetting 2 hour grand finale is happening next week. Though I must say Mr. Tom Welling is one handsome bloke! Okay I lie, he transcends hotness and handsome, so I'm not sure where exactly that puts him but man oh man...and when he's all suited up I think I have a swoon *whoosh* *thud* effect haha. So yes, apologies one and all with the mis-information w.r.t Smallville.

So while I was indulging in the simple complexity of domesticity today vis a vis washing dishes and cleaning up, I had a very random thought. Now hear me out, I do think it's a very valid thought...I think we're all connected in more ways than we can imagine...I think there might actually be a frequency wherein we can tune into each other's thoughts. It might sound ridonculous, but think about it! You know how we have if not claim that whole ESP which might I add he got from the spider> thing when a friend we're thinking of calls us or arrives outta the blue or we get an email or a letter from someone we sit down to send an email to or we sit and ponder going "Hmmm ya know what it's been a while since I heard from him/her and I really miss them." and *BAM* 'You have mail!' I mean what if these aren't just coincidences? What if there's a possibility that our subconscious has actually devised a way to communicate with each other without our knowledge...what if there's a frequency that our minds are attuned to/respond to? I mean it may have been a very crucial thing that we as Homo Sapiens used oh so many many millenia ago, but what if it is something that played a role in our survival? There's research and information w.r.t twin's and their form of communication regardless of how far away they are or how close they are...they're probably more attuned to it probably because of the genetic similarity...but what if it's just something that's been dormant in the rest of us? I mean think about it, it's not like it's something we have to use in this time or age, what with the advent of phones and other devices and technological wonders that just make this whole communicating thing more easier? It is common knowledge that it is the complexity of our brain that separates us from animals and classifies as higher functioning organisms. Can you just imagine the possibilities of the human mind? Okay besides all these telecomm giants suffering from excruciatingly huge losses if this mental frequency and form of communication is ever tapped into...just imagine the possibilities :D....Heck I have more questions, do we all have our own individual frequencies that only very few people can access? Would this access depend on a genetic correlation or genetic key? Or would it have to be a syncing up of frequencies between people to create a unique frequency that isn't exactly accessible to anybody else? Now there's some food for thought if one ever had any...

For those of you pondering/wonderin' "WTF?! More regular blog activity/postage now than there has been in the last few months?! :O" all I have to say is I'm having the worry bugs. Instead of reaching for any potentially toxic substances, which eventually lead to your brain getting all screwed up and your neurons getting far worse than what they were to the point they degenerate and get shortened and all, which subsequently leads to neurodegenerative disorders (like Alzheimers or Parkinson's) or leads to other funky things like an absolute and complete psychotic breakdown....lets just say I'm back on here as a regular feature to ensure the safety of my limited bursts of sanity in an utterly insane world and at an absolutely insane time. And...I also have an incessant need to hurl words into virtual space. And...I'm also trying not to cave into my body and mind's ginormous craving for all things wonderfully chocolatey....trust me it's the only sweet thing around here, the people not so much lol. It's as if the peepz had the 99% dark chocolate deal with a shot of really bitter and strong black tea, since coffee isn't exactly the main beverage out here and all, but just think of the most bitter and strongest thing you've ever had that sent you going "zoinkers" and literally had your eyeballs popping right outta yer sockets and rolling back in all in the matter of a few seconds....now that's what I'm talking about. A'ite chumps, well time for me to get going, hopefully I'll be able to post something up later today, this was supposed to be up and outta here yesterday but due to some brainular technical difficulties things didn't go as planned...well I hope things are going well fer ya'll and good luck with things!

Popcorn Cells

2011-05-05T10:41:00.000-07:00

Well here's a lil' bit of a factoid before proceeding on to upcoming proceedings. Popcorn cells are characteristic cell types/features seen in a form of Hodgkin's Lymphoma well to be more precise for the sake of Science and Medicine, Nodular Lymphocyte Predominant Hodgkin's lymphoma. For further details please contact your nearest health-care professional or oncologist or hit up wikipedia...the place where most quests of curiosity are fulfilled...key word being most. Now however, if you wanna just type up random shyte that does not exist I don't think you're gonna find an answer just yet.

I could really do with some popcorn, hell that reminds me I need to go check out Thor while I can, perhaps Thor wielding mighty Mjollonir and causing some damage might just help ease away some of the frustration and angst...yeah they're actually the trending topics on my list of trending topics if I was twitter...but I guess praise the Lord that I'm not twitter, neither am I an ickle blue bird nor am I a social networking thingymajigg that probably has a limited lifespan until the next big thing appears out there. Social networking is a big booming industry all by itself, I mean c'mon let's be honest with each other, everyone or at least almost everyone wants to know what the heck is going on in everybody else's life despite all the denial. It's the best way to keep up, spread and create juicy gossip and spicy rumours...well the adjectives seem good enough to use in a menu I agree, it's probably 'cuz I'm craving some spicy ass fish curry and I would say juicy steak but I'm not much of a steak person so let's just hypothesize it's a craving for steak. Some people are just natural social butterflies and so don't mind expanding their social networks to one that includes a ginormous amount of people. Then there's the other bit of the population that isn't necessarily as overt with their need for a huge network, but the reason they're even on the social networking scene is usually "So that I can keep in touch with my friends and see what's going on with their lives." Anyhoo I'm not quite sure where the whole social networking discussion part came up from, but, lets just say I'm gonna leave it on that note. There's nothing more to contribute or comment about w.r.t it.

Ya know I wanted to sit and bitch about the injustice of having no scruples, morals or ethics and go on about the cut-throat nature and extreme competitive nature that people possess, and comment on perhaps just how far people will go and just how low they will go to turn someone else's world upside down just to get where they want to. But it feels like a moot point and discussion to bring up, 'cuz face it you guys aren't exactly daft enough to think that this sorta stuff doesn't exist. It's funny and sad that the underhanded and ugly side of our natures are highlighted more often than the side of us that makes a difference and actually does do some sorta good. I guess we're programmed to pick out flaws faster than appreciating the finer aspects of people...at the same time I don't blame people for being the way they are either. We spend as much time analyzing, figuring and appreciating people as we do appraising, admiring and oggling o'er a pair of shoes or that really cute bag you saw that you just had to get or those hot pair of shades that just added more structure and personality to your face. We really are a popcorn generation, 'cuz the amount of time we spend to get to know a person is literally equivalent to the amount of time it takes to pop some popcorn into a bag with all that cholesterolly goodness of butter and what have you. But end of the day the popcorn is the highlight of your day until you're done with it, then time to move on and find something else to capture your attention, craving and fancy.

Ooh this does however bring to me a very interesting yet annoying topic at hand...the fickle friend :D. Those of you who know me long enough know how much I hate that category of 'Turncoat friends'...ya know the ones who choose to walk the path best suited their moods and needs at that given point in time. The friends who decide to have heart to hearts with you when it best suits them and their situation 'cuz nobody else actually gives a rat's arse? But what they don't realize is neither do I, but the only reason I listen is 'cuz I can and choose to and really I have no compunction to....Anyway that aside, what's worse is when you're constantly reminded of being I dunno the bestest shoulder to lean on and cry on and given all that other crap about how you're one of the few ppl who know them inside-out. Yeah well sweetheart nobody ever knows anybody inside out and if they say they do it's an absolute and complete lie. Nothing in this world is absolute, and never fall for multiple choice answers that deal only absolutes. None the less, going back to them pesky leeches...well it would be an insult calling them leeches what with leeches being used in the past for medicinal purposes and all, just kinda kills their entire healing and medical nature...but going back to those imbeciles...worst part is when you're the #1 ear to turn to, to sit and listen to constant whining and bitching, but when it's your turn to do so all of a sudden lunch, dinner, tea time, errands and chores come up. I know I'm a boring person but c'mon chumps you gotta gimme some credit, at least be straight with me and say 'Look I dunno what to say in response to what's worrying you or I can't exactly relate to what you're going through...'...I'm not exactly gonna erupt like a volcano and bust out some old cheesy Hindi movie dialogues sans the mega emotional instrumental accompaniments, I can take care of myself ya know, I wasn't exactly dropped down to planet Earth yesterday, hell I've been taking care of myself for quite a while, I can handle it lol. Just don't gimme all this cockamie, I don't appreciate it, plain and simple. Oh and the best part with them bleeding turncoats is wen things start looking up for 'em and things get b8r, all of a sudden it's yeah sorry no time to talk in the middle of this and that, having the time of my life, lovin' the good good life and then bitching 'bout how much they love the good good life, and really all you need is perhaps 2 minutes of their time to just ya know blow some steam? But then there's time to do bullshit with other people and publicly announce it pretty much anywhere and everywhere there's an opportunity to do so. Ya know you console yourself saying 'Yeah ya know wat, they'll learn or figure it out some day'..yeah perhaps after you've exited stage left on that huge stage called life or until you just exit their life/social scene altogether. It's surprising the things you miss when you're benched and things and life pass you by.

Ooh do I sound like a whiner now? Well...good! 'bout damn fucking time 'en it? That's it, I'm about ready to go build me my 'Fortress of Solitude', only things it'll be missing are the Jor-El holograms and that chamber/area for all things Krypton. Anyhooo...speaking of the family of El and the Fortress of Solitude and all that good stuff, the Season Finale of Smallville airs this Friday folks, so those of you who love the show, or have kept up with it make sure you catch that finale! It's gonna be epic!!! :D...Part of me is excited and another part of me is just kinda sad, I mean now I'm gonna have to wait for a while to get a tele/movie Superman fix...sigh...but!!! There's always comeex!! Which reminds me I'm uber excited to read Action #900, just gonna have to put a day aside to get down to reading it :). Most definitely getting it to add to my budding little library, despite popular demand for electronic books and what have you I actually do enjoy buying my books and reading the actual physical copies. There's just something so magical, otherworldly, ethereal and indescribable about the act of curling up in a chair and getting lost in a world of fiction or non fiction depending on what your tastes are. It's one of the most liberating feelings in the world to be honest.

A'ite kids, well I think I may have exceeded my usual word limit, so I'm gonna push off from here...time to get back to the books and get my brain and soul walloped. But...before I take your leave, I just wanted to say, this has been a very significant News week, I mean we had the Royal Wedding last Friday, followed by Osama Bin freakin' Laden finally getting what he deserved, followed by election results in Cannuckville. It took them long enough to find Bin Laden, and lets hope 05/02 is remembered with as much fervour as 9/11...that piece of crap of an excuse of a human being was responsible for the unwarranted and unnecessary deaths of sooo many people, the deaths he caused blurred lines between religion, politics and basic human nature. Nobody has the right and nobody should have the audacity to point their fingers at any particular section of people and say haha you got what you deserved, 'cuz you know what...nobody deserved what they got due to that man's actions and due to the repercussions of his actions. I know his death won't heal the big gaping wounds nor the empty spaces and empty faces...but I do hope it brings some amount of closure to the families that lost so much on that fateful day almost 10 years ago .

Well folks, you take care of yourselves and I hope everything is going well for each and every one of ya'll. If not hang in there, things happen for a reason and if it's meant to be it will pan out, otherwise you make sure you make it pan out.

Song(s) of the Day:

Song: Sympathy for the Devil (The Neptunes Remix)

Artist/Band: The Rolling Stones
Album: Beggars Banquet
Release Date: December 6, Circa 1968

Song: All We Are
Artist/Band: OneRepublic
Album: Dreaming Out Loud
Release Date: November 20, Circa 2007

Ps: Dammit now I want some popcorn...nice work working up a craving huh?

Of all things Blue Blooded and Royal Purple

2011-04-30T13:41:00.000-07:00

Oh my...perhaps the sun rose in the West today? :O...that makes it almost 2 for 2 without me running the risk of having a few days between posts...huh...either my fingers suffer from ADD or I just have an insane need to get a few words tossed out there. Brace yourselves for some alphabet soup and specialty mixed, tossed word salad :D...ta-da!

So looks like them stiff upper lip Brits had quite a bit of a Royal celebration going on now didn't they? Before you start judging my reactions and comments to the whole Royal Wedding celebrations, do yourselves a favour and stop jumping to conclusions. Excessive jumping is bad for your health, yes both mental and physical, it sorta makes your brain loopy and loopy brains just aren't the easiest things to deal with. I should know, what with mine being loopy and having multiple personalities, or alters, as I believe is the correct technical term to use in psych circles these days.

I know there are a bunch of ya'll out there who are going *yawn, drag..who gives a shit 'bout a Royal Wedding?* and are also spouting things like *Wtf? All that money being spent to cover this event could be used for other useful purposes* or there's the other fav headline running the circles *Who gives a rat's ass about stupid royalty when there's other more important events happening in and around the world?* Well...here's what I have to say to all of you people belonging to those fan fav clubs...that's great that you don't care 'bout it and consider your time well spent watching other things and paying attention to news matters that matter. But...here's the thing that gets me...half of you jackasses spouting this shit are dumb fucks who don't give a damn about the world we live in and couldn't be bothered on any other news day as to what the hell is going on around the world. Hell...you should listen to yourselves spouting geographic profiles, they're about as stupid as dumb as a bag o' nails. Your ignorance is profound, so don't you dare sit around and think you give a damn about the world 'cuz you don't. Gah! I had to get that off of my chest...the one thing, well outta quite a few things, that happens to be one of my pet peeves is ignorance. While it is bliss at times, it really does suck when it is something that's flashed more often than none.

See a few days ago 2 people who were walking with me wanted to know what all the hype and hooplah about cricket was, and they said how even the word cricket sounded so British. Now me being the cricket fanatic that I am, I gave them the briefest history about the game and said that the game was originally invented/created in England. Now, the response I got was then how the hell did it end up in India? I was a little dumbfounded, but I let it pass, and I said well that's probably because India was one of the last colonies that gained independence from the British. To which their collective response was what? really? India was a colony of England and actually fought for independence? Okay now you can't blame me for getting a lil' riled up and feeling a bit indignant about this, a part of me was ready to bitch slap them to New Delhi and back but I bit my tongue and enlightened them that India gained her independence back in 1947 on August 15th. To which the response was *dang girl you know your history and your dates*. Now one of these individuals is an African American and I had half a mind to turn around and say, look chica you and your heritage aren't the only ones with history...that's just your tunnel vision talking. I'm not being racist, but in all honesty I'm pretty sure she has no damndest clue about any form, shape or semblance of the history of Afrika. Heck, I don't even know details about the history of Afrika, except that they got the short end of the imperialist straw. They were the one continent that got screwed over by multiple imperialist powers from Europe who decided it was time to broaden their horizons. Those bloody imperialists had a blast destroying a land and it's people, culture and values. But, getting back to the fact of the matter, you don't have to prove to the world that you're an ignorant dingbat...it's something that's assumed and known...and heck I'm not asking for a miracle wherein you decide to read up on the history of the world, 'cuz lets face it people history isn't something that is everyone's strong suit. But, all I'm asking is that you not walk around with tunnel vision or with your eyes and ears shut, please try and live up to the level of civility and sensibility that we as human beings claim we have. And while you're at it, it wouldn't kill you to respect people as well, especially people and their values you're unfamiliar with. Do as to them as you would do unto yourself, and I'm sure you'll find this in almost any and every religious text out there so don't you dare tell me it's unwarranted for and isn't stated anywhere.

Now going back to the Royal Wedding....now some people who bitched about it are married and this is what I have to say to you. You're groaning about having to watch someone else's wedding, when all it takes is switching channels or watching a movie or hanging out with friends to avoid doing so...at least you have the option of changing the channel, but, imagine the fate of all those people who were kicking themselves to stay awake just to sit through your wedding? Those unfortunate souls didn't even have the option of changing channels with a remote...tsk tsk. Yeah the Royal Wedding was given a lotta press, yeah it was overly hyped, but at the same time there is one thing that needs to be understood. This is the last known 'famous' monarchy that the world knows of, yeah not everybody knows 'bout the kings and queens residing in Spain, Norway, Luxemborg, India (ooh surprise surprise), Brunei (don't look so surprised, there is such a country, go google it up and while you're at it why don't you find out what the capital of Brunei is as well?) and well yeah there's the Middle East as well but that's a whole other kettle of fish to deal with. This royal family in particular has been in and out of the news for quite a few decades and everyone knows how much the paparazzi has been hounding that family, especially those 2 boys since their mother's death. The last big thing about this family that was televised was the funeral of Princess Diana, so how do you not expect the wedding of her first-born to be telecast? Everyone has always been curious about Princess Di's boys, their every move has been observed and scrutinized and splashed across newspapers over time. It's about time something good/happy happening with that family was publicized/given importance to. Yeah it's easier to say who gives a shit 'bout them? But honestly, how many times have you read the paper or read something online over the last decade or 2 that didn't involve the antics of the Royal family?

Now as much as I do dislike them colonialists for all the bloody damage and destruction they brought and delivered to the lands they ruled over, I did tune into the wedding. There were people saying stuff like oh why would you bother about this event when there are wars going on in the world? Here's the thing people, the damn wars have been going on long enough, don't you think it's about time the damn wars stopped? Don't you think we passed that time when we should've pulled out the troops? What good are the troops doing? If you're gonna tell me stability I might kick your ass, what kinda stability do you see? Everyday there's IED related deaths that get printed in the paper, more soldiers are dying, more parents are losing their children, more spouses their better halves and more kids their parents...are you telling me their tears and pleas meant nothing before? That suddenly we should all grow a conscience and a sense of awareness and focus on wars being fought elsewhere? How the hell is it that the one man responsible for wreaking so much havoc and death and destruction has still not been caught? How is it so hard to locate and capture Osama Bin freaking Laden? Wouldn't you agree it's been way too freaking long that this man has been on the goddamn loose? Like I've mentioned in many previous posts, we've all been overexposed to so much news about war and death that now we almost seem to be desensitized to such news, it's like listening to another statistic. War is not a commercial nor an infomercial that you tune into to catch an update on every night on your local news network, it's the beginning and end of many lives and many things.

Going back to what this post is all about, for once it was good to see something happy being over publicized...yeah it was a wedding, no it wasn't mine but there was just something cool about seeing everyone decking up in their traditional uniforms and rocking out those tunics bearing their Coat of Arms. It was cool to see the Rolls Royce phantoms and stage coaches, I mean c'mon!!! You definitely don't see things like that anymore. And in all honesty, I think Lady Diana would've been really really proud of her boys :)...it was a beautiful ceremony and one has to give that girl Kate some serious props. Not only did she carry herself beautifully and gracefully but she handled all this pressure and anxiety sooo well! She looked absolutely gorgeous in her wedding gown I must add and there was just all this grace and charm about her, here's wishing those newly weds all the very best, I really hope the paparazzi doesn't interfere with their lives as much as they did with Princess Di's...or that the paparazzi just doesn't get the satisfaction of getting the best of Kate.Weddings are a big deal, ask pretty much anyone who has been married and I'm sure they'll have quite the interesting tale to share with you about their wedding. Nobody's gonna say eh you know it was only just another day in our lives. Weddings are about celebrating life and basking in that quintessential glow of harmony and not everyone is fortunate nor destined to have a shot at it...so you tell me, what's wrong with sharing that with other people?

A'ite so I think I'm done with my fluff piece for the month :P, it's time for me to snap back to the reality of akademia and all those fun things that have been plaguing me for the last lil' while. It's a crazy feeling when you feel the walls around you closing in on you and making it harder and harder to clamber out of or to find a way to not let the pressure get to you. Coming up next time I think I'd definitely love to share a few opinions and thoughts with you peepz about one of my fav shows....no no not Smallville...not just yet ...in fact Criminal Minds. That show is definitely an awesome show and there's just something about it, which besides making me paranoid, and many a time has left me reeling and at times gagging, at just how dark a human soul and mind can be there are certain elements that just make this show amazing. If anything the highest of the highest honours and credit needs to go to the cast of that show, they do SUCH an AMAZING job in the roles they portray, I can't believe that nobody from that cast has won an Emmy just yet..it's such an absolute and utter shame.

A'ite folks well it's time for me to get going, but I hope all is going well with each and every one of ya'll and I hope you have an amazing and fantastical weekend!!! Cheers until next time! Oh! I forgot to mention one more thing, I think I have the perfect design for a family crest/coat of arms, unless one already exists within my family that I'm unaware of :P...which leads me to this follow up question, I wonder if people have to register their coat of arms in like the world bank of coat of arms so nobody can replicate or duplicate 'em :|...whaddaya think?

Haunted

2011-04-29T13:30:00.000-07:00

Howdy folks...I hope all is going well with each and every one of you :). Most people are probably soaking in the awesome-ness of the long weekend courtesy Easter, well here's wishing you all a happy and blessed Easter...if anything enjoy the time you get to spend with your family and friends and soak in the memories :). You never know when you're gonna need the comfort of those memories to ease and appease your days, it's that snappy, funky, crazy thing about life...it pops you in the nose some days and gives you a huge ass unexpected but very welcome bear hug on others.

Anyway, on other notes, have you guys ever woken up...and in those moments between consciously knowing you're waking up and opening your eyes...you visualize the worst possible repressed/suppressed/worst memories ever? I mean the memories are just so clear, specific and so precise in every detail, it's almost as if you got teleported back to that moment and you're re-living every bloody nano/micro second of it. It's not enough that you do everything in your power to block it out, to forget, to carry on and move along, but it really bites when it sneaks up on you and sucker punches you while you're reeling to get your wits about you. Every time I think I've moved forward I loose my footing and go stumbling down that vortex and to be honest it isn't a lotta fun. Every single time I can just feel yet another piece of me die, naw they don't turn into horcruxes...I'm not into the darkest and most evil form of magic, Voldemort & Co. don't really catch my fancy so eh, I'm part of the task force that would thoroughly enjoy kicking his ass. Speaking of which, for those of you who are as crazy 'bout that series as I am then I would like to inform you that the promo for the concluding part or rather the final chapter of Book 7/Movie 7 is out and HELL YEAH it looks freaking wicked....it's booked and a done deal. Them HP movies just like the books are a family affair as far as my familia is concerned.

None the less, I do digress....I was talking about them ghosts and nightmares that you wish you could either exorcise or forever banish from your thoughts and your mind. Turns out that isn't a very feasible option just yet, yeah there's ways to deal with it, sure see a shrink, talk to people about it, spread, diffuse do what you have to right? Yeah the more you talk 'bout it, the more you confront it the easier it gets to handle it...but end of the day you're still the one bearing your corsses and picking your weeds and living with the weight of your thoughts. Of course you can choose to either let the weight of your thoughts suffocate you and bury you alive...some days it seems like the best thing to do, not because you're a masochist, but, sometimes losing yourself in the darkness of your abyss and feeling the strain of your thoughts brings a new sense of clarity, a new sense of resilience and a certain degree of enlightenment...or at least that's what I try to tell myself. That's not to say there are some days where I just sit and try to sift through the remnants of myself, heck I'd rather call it shrapnel as opposed to remnants....there is nothing to remember in those tiny itty bitty memory pieces. It's easy to say 'get over it', 'move on with your life' or 'it happened so long ago it makes no difference now', but, it's a completely different story when theory is in the process of being applied. Yeah it's easy to move on, but really what the hell does it even mean to move on? Isn't it just the general concept and embodiment that's you coming to terms with the situation that's driving you up the wall? Isn't it basically your mind and senses syncing up and calling a truce? Well guess what kids, there are some things in life that may take an entire lifetime before you end up coming to a truce with yourself. Wanna know what you do in the mean time? In the meantime you can choose the oft traveled path of ignorance, which might I add, is a very very popular path that people often tend to tread...especially in this day and age. We find it easier to switch off our thought processes and run far away from things that could potentially be labelled as our shortcomings. We love seeing that part of the reflection that enhances our concept of perfection, I mean it's all we see or it's all we'd rather see. I don't exactly blame anyone in particular, except for ourselves. We're so obsessed on marketing ourselves as the next best thing, if not THE BEST thing out there that somewhere along the line we forget that we're just as delicate and fragile as that exquisite and crazy pricey Swarovski piece that just makes everything else look soooooo much better. Yes I'm surrounded by people who love absolutely anything and everything Swarovski (myself included)...though with me it depends on the piece, just cuz the name's Swarovski doesn't mean I'm going gaga o'er it...& before u ask yes I do like Lady Gaga as well, but I haven't heard anything new so pls do me a favour and don't decide to gimme a preview and sing sum'n that sounds nothing like the original. At least by doing so you can spare me the agony of going deaf just yet, I mean I know it's written in the cards and is bound to happen somewhere down the line in the future but I would much rather prefer my deafness being the result of my wicked ways of cranking up the volume with the muzaaakkk rather than have some third party kill my hearing with their vocals....for instance, my lovely brother pulling an LG would be very injurious to my health. That being said though, there was this moment last year when I was on the phone with him and he started singing the sound effects part of 'Poker face'...it was a very interesting conversation 'cuz at first I thought I was losing my mind 'cuz I wasn't able to understand the words coming outta his mouth, then I realized he was singing....so I did the next best thing...I joined in. I'm sure mum thought we lost our minds 'cuz at the end of it broda was giggling lol. Oh well losing minds is a genetic thing, I mean we had to pick it up from the folks :P.

The power of memory is both crushing and gratifying, in a way it's the boon and the bane that humanity signed up for I guess. Like the power of choice wasn't good enough for us to screw each other and ourselves over with, sure lets give these humans the power to recall and relive things and see just how they fare. Higher cognitive functioning mumbo jumbo nonsense...how are we any superior than all the other living systems if we don't use the lessons of our past to solidify and secure our future? Hell we're still following Hammurabi's code aren't we? Eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth? Sometimes the greatest scars inflicted upon a soul are those that are self-inflicted...sometimes that act of self infliction is not one that we consciously go about, but it's that very power of memory that can either have us standing taller than the tallest structure in the world and sometimes it's the very thing that reduces us to nothing but ashes in the blink of an eye. The M&M factor is a dangerous thing (Mind and memory not the chocolates but damn I could do with a pack of 'em right 'bout now) so do me a favour and try not to just bring out it's ruthless side out...people these days are strapped for hope and it would actually be refreshing to see that not everyone is a conniving son-of-a-bitch with an agenda of their own who is trying to pull the other down. Sometimes a lil' compassion goes a long way, sometimes it could literally be the difference between life and death. I know these all seem like such grandoise statements and repetitions of things echoed in the past but it's just ridiculous, repulsive and annoying to keep running into the same bullshit on a constant basis. But that's a tirade for another time and another day, if I ever remember to go on a mindless rant about it later then I think there most definitely will be something that I say then.

A'ite kids I think I'm gonna sign off on this post right 'bout now, there was a good span of a few days between when I started this and when I've finished this so if anything the thought process is a lil' all over the place, but hopefully the next one won't be quite as much. I have too many shadows and ghosts lingering around me, sometimes and some days some ghosts like to rear their ugly heads a lil' more often than I'd like them to. It's just difficult some days to sit there and verbalize your demons when just visualizing them paralyzes and cripples you in any and every possible way. It literally sucks the very life outta you that it becomes really difficult to put verbalize and vocalize it. No amount of dream catchers are gonna be able to do anything about the nightmares I have, but like they say life ain't a bed of roses....if it ain't a bed of roses for the living then whaddaya think it is for the living dead? That brings me to the next lil' bit here, I have sum'n that's the start of a poem, tel ya what, if and when I get done and done with it I might just post it on here, not sure though, we'll see how it goes. Well on that note boys and girls I'm gonna exit stage right or left, whichever direction suits your needs :P and try and make my way through that long winded path that pretty much is the way to my dreams. I hope all is well with ya'll and life ain't handing you down too much of a beating...someone once told me that life only gives you what you can handle...so don't worry you've got this under control and you'll get through this, it's why you're here and it's why you are who you are and nobody can take that away from you ever! Take care kids and here's until next time!

We are not all born innocent,
We are not all born guilty,
Redemption is for those
seeking answers,
While salvation...
Is for those seeking
the truth.

Song(s) of the Day:

Song: Broken
Artist/Band: Lifehouse
Album: Who We Are
Release Date: July 8, Circa 2008

Song: Apologize
Artist/Band: OneRepublic
Album: Dreaming Out Loud
Release Date: November 20, Circa 2007

Thirteenth Step

2011-04-15T12:25:00.000-07:00

Hey guys and gals...I know I usually just ramble off a really long essay about various things and various permutations and combinations of things causing those various things. It's a vicious cycle of opinions :P...none the less today what I'm about to post is not gonna b an opinion based essay....it's actually going to be a lil' something I created on the eve of a very special day to me. Be forewarned that the following piece is a poem, so for those of you a lil' aversive towards poetry stay away or go read or do something that makes your senses tingle with anticipation and excitement...otherwise check this out and I would really appreciate some feedback :). So be kind and leave a msg down below :D, thunkers and have yourselves a good weekend folks.There will be a post following this, probably some time o'er the weekend, but this is what I have for now, so when you're done reading don't be shy to leave feedback folks...haven't you heard? Feedback is good for the soul :). Thanks for sticking around thus far on this insane ride/journey :), hopefully the wheels keep turning on here for a while before this particular train is outta juice and service...take care peepz!

The Thirteenth Step

Step 1…you take a step
You take a breath,
And you make your
presence felt.
No inhibitions,
Actions of innocence;
An aura of purity felt.
Living life at it’s most
genuine,
And honest best.
Until Step 2 comes around.
Wobbly, shaky,
Hesitant…resistant,
You take your step
anyway.
Moving forward,
Swaying backward,
Shutting your eyes,
While skipping ahead;
CRASH…BOOM
Things falling apart,
The first layers of
An untainted innocence
shed.
Garnished with them
pearly tears,
Learning about
That good old myth
called fear;
Savoring, better yet,

Tasting that very first
Dose of reality…
Confused, bedazzled,
You keep looking ahead.
Not knowing to,

Nor wanting to,
But out of compulsion,
Out of being told to
do so.
Being cajoled into
learning that
Oh so mighty lesson
of bravery.
You know the one,

You’ve heard it before…

The one they call a true
friend,

The one they consider
To be nothing short of
a devastating blow
To many a foe…
Or so you are told,

So you are taught;
Nodding your young
innocent head,

Confused…bewildered,

And wiping away,
The rest of your tears,

You set foot
Onwards to Step 3.

A little less confused,

A little less dazed,

Though life still passes
you by in a haze.

Shedding those layers
Of naivety and purity,
Without realizing,

Without seeing,

You move along,
You carry on…

Trudging…some days,

Racing ahead on any
other given day.

Faster than the gusty
wind,

Racing along with you
With that spirit,
That need, the urge
To grow up faster,

To grow taller faster,

Learn sooner,

Leave earlier,

Live dreams sooner;

And before you know it,
The blink of an eye,

Snap of a finger,

The world you live in,
Comes crashing down,

Up ahead atop your head.

Stuck, broken,

You scream out…

In confusion, agony, pain,

Where did I go wrong?

You question, you ask.

Don’t give up!

You hear the voices
in your head,

Repeating and whispering
unto your self.
Rise above!!
You hear them cheer
you on.
Memories of your long
time friend bravery,

Resurfacing, and,
Finding their way back
to you.

Serving to be the epitome
of loyalty
And all things a friend
should be.
You choke on your tears,

Broken by your fears;
You look up,
To that unknown
ethereal power.
Your angry tears,

Blazing their trails,

Fuelling that fire,

Burning deep inside…

You question, you stare,
You glare…you shatter.

And out of the blue,

You feel a warmth,
Surround you…

Embrace you...blanket
you…

Whispering words of
comfort,
Humming sounds of
hope.
Until…there it is…

That little crack of light,
That little sliver of
hope,

Making it’s presence
felt.

Giving you the strength,

To pick yourself up,

And march onwards,

To Step 4.

Away, away,

You keep walking,

Onward towards

Step 4.

Pondering a way,

To not let the darkness
consume you whole.

You stop a while,

And revisit,

Those lessons of a
time passed.

Memories renewed,

Victories re-savored,

Defeats re-lived,

They jolt you to life.

Suddenly the path
ahead,

Doesn’t seem as scary
anymore.

Those doubts of yours,

Don’t question you
anymore…

You take a big, deep
breath,

You step ahead,

And dive and plunge
on,

Off towards Step number
5.

They say confession is
good for the soul.

What they never say,

Is whose soul,

Feels the coolness,

Or the gentleness
Of that balm of peace,
clarity and serenity.
What they never say,

Is how twisted,

Or wicked,

A soul can be.

To use your pain against
you.

To revel…
In the brutality and
cruelty,

Of crushing yours,
Into infinitely, tiny
pieces.
Neither hindered by
consequences,

Nor perturbed by the
turning hands of time;

Confessed, tried,
Tired and emptied…

You keep walking on,

Head held high,

You stride on,

Off to Step 6 you go.

You find yourself
in a cycle…

Confused, it makes you
wonder,
Makes you contemplate,
and acknowledge,

Those little pranksters,

Consequence, and,
awareness.

You reflect…you ponder,

And then…

It hits you!

Life isn’t about,

Being a bed of roses,

Nor is it

The fiery furnace of hell.

You…like the way of life,

Need both your paradise,

And your hell,

So as to learn, live and
lead.

You realize,

Without chaos,

There is no order.

You learn the simple,

Yet ultimate truth
Of acceptance.

Lesson learned,

Wisdom secured,

You walk ahead.

Filled with a renewed
Sense of humility,

On towards Step 9 you
go.

At Step 9,

You stop…you pause,

And take a look back;

At how far you’ve
traveled,

And wonder

Just how much further
You, have yet to go.

You look back,

At good times had,

At bad times,

You wished never
happened.

You heave a sigh,

Wishing you could
turn back time,
Right your wrongs,

Take away the painful
memories;

Swearing never to

do that ever again.

With your new found
companion Repentance,

You walk together,

Up ahead on that path,

That leads to Step 10.

With promises,

And vows,

Of righting

All those wrongs you
once caused.

Like someone on a
mission,

You march forward,

With promises to keep,

And a conscience to
ease.

At Step 10,

You wait a while,

You find a need
to linger.

To remember,

All you lost,

Yet all that you gained.

Paths walked…
And paths you strayed
away from.
Shaking your head,

At your follies,

Cracking a smile
at your naivety,

You walk on towards
Step 11.

A twang of regret,

Making it’s way
through,

Regretting the loss,

Of an age of innocence,

Of purity…of naivety;

To a world we lost…

At Step 11,

You meet your long lost
friend,

Well forgotten enemy,

Reflection;

A reminder of,

Things you did,

And secrets you hid.

You wonder…you
question,

Whether or If

You could make a
difference.

Questions swirling,

Doubts twirling,

You tread lightly,

Towards Step 12.

At Step 12,

You befriend,

Your long lost friend…
The one piece,

Of that puzzle
you call life;

You meet Redemption,

Hand shaken,

You embrace each other,
Whispering solemnly,

Of sights seen,
Lessons learned,

And ultimately,

You bring up

Your quest for salvation;

From demons,

Too many to scare away,

From ghosts of past,

That have worn you
down to the bone.

To save those,

From the pitfalls,

You once had.

Hand in hand,

Taking almost full
command,

Of this darned thing
called life,

You walk forward,

Boldly, bravely…

With a confidence
anew,

Up, up and away,

You say,

On to Step 13,

Let’s make our way.

At Step 13,

You wonder…

Is this salvation?

Or is my salvation,

The lessons I lived
through,

All those 12 steps ago?

You smile a small,

Yet whole-hearted
smile,

With the knowledge,
Of your salvation

Being the journey you
traveled.

And at Step 13,

You meet the oldest,

Yet closest friend of
all,

The mighty friend we
call Wisdom.

A sense of peace…

Of tranquility,

Seeps through your
pores.

A feeling you never
felt before…

And you finally see,
and feel,

The warmth of that light

You once saw…

That tiny sliver,

That found it’s way,

Into the abyss,

You once fell into.

With a sense of fulfillment,

You savor the light.

Bathing you in it’s
radiance,

You realize then,

How your life,

Has come full circle.

You realize,

You, are your own
cause and effect.

With a realization so
profound,

You set off on a new
journey.

A new path you build,
You create…you walk

To share your

Treasures of wisdom,

And wealth of knowledge.

No longer ignorant,

You walk ahead,

Not with a trace of
hesitation,

Nor overconfidence,

But, with a sense of
purpose,

And a sense of being
one,

Not just with one’s
self,

But also,

With all that around
us,

And all that surrounds
us.

(SJ, April 12, 2011)

Rambles, Jambles and Countless Brambles

2011-04-10T11:10:00.000-07:00

I've always loved that word brambles, a tingle of excitement rushes up my spine when I read that word, for some reason it always reminds me of Enid Blyton's Famous Five...for those uninitiated all I have to say is you kids (I don't care how old you are) have been seriously deprived. Gimme her books to read ANY DAY and I will curl up in a corner and spend my time reading those books. I used to LOVE (and still do) reading that Famous 5 series along with her collection of short stories. They dealt with pixies and fairies and gnomes and awesome things!! Now that's what a child's imagination needs a lotta exposure to. That whole concept of free your soul free your mind, there's just something about reading and music that can do that and I highly recommend that this revolutionary freedom movement be started at a young age. You'd be surprised at how much you can stand to learn from kids and how much more they can stand to learn from you. No I'm not a parent and yes it's very easy for me to dish out advice like this, next thing you know I'm gonna b getting these emails saying great so we freed their souls and minds and now they're wreaking havoc that involves cleaning up after them 24 hours a day...thanks we were used to doing so only 16 hours.

Anyhoo it's been a while since I came on here and let out some verbal steam :P...oh woe is you indeed. For most part it was to rant about a plethora of things, but for the life of me I can't remember a lotta things that I wanted to go on about. Well if anything I'm sure it included akademia seeing how a majority of the pain in the arses arise from there, and then I guess I'll find my way from there.

Ya know all those people you see cutting corners and who pretty much entice you into wanting to say 'screw it' to your values and principles? And I guess pretty much has you wanting and wishing for that thing called 'karma' to kick in full force pretty much any time now? Well I kinda had that moment or rather I've been having more frequent episodes of that moment these past few months, but end of the day I can't abandon my value, ethics or principles for sum'n low and underhanded. However, I'm no saint and I'm not gonna say I don't wish sometimes the people around bitching and whining 'bout things, even though they go about achieving said things in the most unworthy manner, get dealt the hand they deserve. But then again, who am I to decide who deserves what and how they deserve it. However, this past week something along the lines of a miracle happened lol, so all those unscrupulous gits who get by on copying and cheating off of each other (don't gimme the it's a highly competitive atmosphere so you gotta do what you gotta do bullshit, 'cuz that ain't gonna win you any sympathy from me) finally...I mean FINALLY got deprived of a few things. Apparently while doing our test while some people were using the sharing is caring policy, the teachers swiped their answer sheets from right under their noses...funny thing is that they did this for the last test :|...wat the hell were they doing the rest of the year? :|...Hey maybe there were a few ppl who weren't cheating and musta looked around staring aimlessly at some point of the room to gather and collect their thoughts. I know I stare at the whiteboard or the ceiling, I mean honestly I'm 'bout as blind as a bat and I clearly don't have enough time nor skills to break into a building more likely a lab and plant answers at distant spaces :|...Besides that, this particular class we have one of the profs who comes in to administer/proctor the tests has like twitching problems when it comes to putting up slides for us to identify. The speed at which he zooms around a slide to get us to ID it gets me all nauseous...it's like I have freaking motion sickness from him zooming all over the dang slide. Anyway, he hates us and our guts, but the unfortunate part is that he hates the rest of us because of the actions of a few. Yeah I understand he can be and is a total dick as far as allotting points and things are concerned but that does not warrant neither does it excuse the kinda behavior some people exhibit. I mean gimme a break, this guy has dealt with this area for years! To try and strong arm him in his area of expertise, which might I add you've only been studying for a year, is just bullshit and absolutely ridiculous. I think people forget at times, that regardless of where they get to in life or what they are in life respect is something that is earned, deserved and given to people regardless of the situation you're in. Throwing a shit fit or a tantrum does not warrant nor justify your demanding nature. I mean didn't you learn that when you were a kid? If you didn't jeez someone needs to slap you now. Believe me, nobody gives a fuck as to who you are...status is something that is a very fickle thing, you may be someone today or you may think you are someone today but tomorrow you will be about as obscure as a grain of sand...and darling thing about grains of sand is that it can be blown away pretty much anytime without fore-warning. Never forget the value or worth of respect wherever you are...I mean hey I'm not one of those alpha-females who tries to call the shots or believes they are far better than anyone else and I'm also not one of 'em turncoats who flows with the stronger current because they're too afraid to try and stay afloat on their own and make it through...nor am I the one to go for cliques, the whole clique mentality is a real life stunting ordeal if you ask me and I'm all for individual growth instead of being a groupie. That doesn't mean that there won't be times when you sway for the groupie effect 'cuz sometimes it just makes more sense than your individual stance and more importantly it depends on the situation you find yourself in. I'd love to tackle the leader and follower paradigm as I think it's a concept that is misunderstood. A true leader isn't one who holds himself or herself in any for of superiority complex, they are people who value and respect anyone and everyone's opinion. They never put their needs and agendas above everyone else...they are the epitome of loyalty that too of a very fiery kind. You mess with that you're asking for trouble pal, you might as well wish you were in the 7th or 8th realm of hell. They give you a hand when you fall instead of walking away and letting you be trampled all over the place...for them nobody ever gets left behind. They need not be living examples of peace and tranquility but they have absolute faith and conviction in what they believe in and the best part? They see everybody as equals, they don't let it get to their heads that they're leaders. Words aren't the only things that make a person, actions and mannerisms do as well.

This journey I'm on at the moment, I set out on it with hopes, dreams and aspirations to help others in a much larger capacity...no I'm not aiming for Nobel Prize speech :P psht! Then you'd really have to get the Committee's head checked lol...one of my backup akademik options was Law, however when I told my parental units about my interest in Law and how I was thinking about it, the first comment outta their mouths was "Oh hell no you aren't cut out for law, you'd be an absolute door-mat." I was quite befuddled with their response, I mean here I thought I had made a giant leap into something substantial only to realize that I was falling short of my safety net to land in and instead I'd have to brace for impact for the impending fall. Yeah crashing and boomin' ain't exactly the most beautiful thing in the world, but hey with every fall you only get to learn how far off you are from the landing zone, or at least that's what I keep telling myself. You know how when a gadget doesn't work you ultimately throw your hands up in despair and frustration and just smack the object that's your bone of contention? Well one of these days Imma be doing that with my head, if my brain doesn't shut up with silly and corny anecdotes I'm definitely smacking it lol. Not that I don't, but this might be on a more repetitive basis :|. But like I was saying before I went all tangential, was that, apparently to be on this current journey involves quite a bit of politics and a bit of a business acumen 'cuz apparently there's a worth limit for everybody that gets calculated pretty much the first day you start. And your market value is like the stock exchange, and by market value I'm not talking 'bout your relationship status, it extends from pretty much the social networks you possess, how many people you know that you can squeeze for information access. Trading is equivalent to how much gossip a person is worth, I'm assuming the higher the gossip the greater the status 'cuz bloody hell you're all everyone ever talks about which means you have some sorta standing I assume within the community. Even if you're called the biggest bitch everyone wants to be your BFF 'cuz knowing you = sharing the same frame/picture/space thereby getting into everyone other all access pass's lil' contact book. So apparently now to be able to help people I gotta be a fucking politician, business person, liar I mean lawyer, and a stock trader? WTF?! Clearly I've avoided the above mentioned paths mostly due to my slight shortcomings in those respective areas lol. Ai karamba....I'm screwed aren't I?

My folks always tell me that I tend to be an idealist and that the real world is a pretty feisty, crooked and messed up place...and that I'm still too naive. I think what they don't realize is I've seen quite a fair share of the ugliness the world has to offer, 'cuz that tends to pop out more often and be highlighted more often than the beauty the world does offer. I'd rather be a delusional idealist and optimist than turn into a jaded pessimist just yet, yeah sure I'm a bit jaded, but I still believe in the good that we have within us. There's always a lil' sum'n hidden within each of us, some people prefer resorting to their not so awesome natures for quite a few reasons. One of those reasons being it's easier for them to snap at and dismiss people than it is to give them a shot and value them for who they are. Another reason is the 'it happened to me, so someone else deserves it' mentality. I mean are you people just too stupid to realize that by doing so you aren't helping anyone out and it's always gonna be a vicious cycle. Wouldn't you rather break it than allow it to go on? I mean we're homo sapiens, we're the most developed of all species...yet we're so retarded :|..it's amazing. You have the chance to break stereotypes, to break down walls holding you down, to make things b8r if not simpler for those after you, for teaching and setting examples for those to follow. Yet we choose not to...the question as to why we hesitate to do something that would benefit so many as opposed to ourselves is perhaps one of those mysteries of life questions a.k.a the big questions that many more besides myself will ponder. I mean I see it everyday where I'm at at the moment, people refusing to share information with others 'cuz God forbid everybody is on or at the same playing field...I'm telling ya life is one big circus, just looking at these clowns trying to strut their authority o'er others outta some hormonal imbalance or a sense of impotency is just freaking hilarious.

Well I guess I should end on this note, all I'm trying to say folks is that try and live your lives with as open a mind as possible. Try to live your lives blinder free if anything or if you do try taking a break from it from time to time, the littlest things always contribute to the biggest changes. It's like the old adage, it takes droplets of water to make an ocean...we're all connected you know? You and I...I dunno how, when or why, but our paths will cross at some point in time and for those whom we've already crossed paths with...if we're still in touch I hope we never take each other for granted. Try thinking of an alternative scenario...what do you think would've happened if our paths never crossed? Would you still be where you are? Doing whatever it is you're doing? Would you still be the person you are? There's some food fer thought now :)...well I hope all is well with everyone and I hope everyone has/had an awesome weekend...here's wishing ya a rockin' week ahead. Hey I know the week ahead is gonna be an awesome one for me :), reasons will follow later :D..haha. Cheers!

Song(s) of the Day:

Song: Piano piece from Criminal Minds episode titled Coda
Artist: Composers of the CM soundtrack
OST: Criminal Minds (Season 6)
Release Date: Well the date it aired was February 23rd, Circa 2011 <& it was a pretty awesome episode>

Song: Illuminated
Artist/Band: Hurts
Album: Happiness
Release Date: September 6, Circa 2010

Experiments & Ottobiographies

2011-03-22T08:39:00.000-07:00

Allo allo everybody,
It's that time of the day/week/month/year/time frame of choice that you'd prefer having. So for those of ya'll tunin' into this whole blog thing of mine, well today is your lucky day...this probably might be the shortest blog entry I've ever written :D, yes I'm excited 'bout that fact as well. I do have a longer one, though that still is a work in progress in my head space...but worry not the moment I have that 'bursting at the seams' urge goin' on in my head space to the point where my fingers literally get all jittery and twitchy, you will get that monster post :D...whether you like it or not.

None the less, this one is more of a post for the moment, I guess it sparked a few thoughts...but a lil' birdy, yes literally or I guess virtually a lil' birdy (it's a little hard to work on the literal difference between the 2 at this point, trust me the source will have you about as flummoxed as I am, with regards to how the contextualize this birdy, but going back to the topic at hand)...so literally I found out through a lil' birdy that the maestro A.R. Rahman will have an autobiography out soon. In addition to that, I believe Mr. Mani Ratnam (one of India's finest film-makers) will be doing the honours at the book launch party. See me being the idiot I am I decided to send a response tweet to the guy who posted this up on twitter (yes that's the lil' birdy I was talkin' bout) and tol' him 'Hey u know wat else wud b awesome? If the man released a composition tracing the highlights of his life.' I proceeded to read the article, yes the guy is a reporter for a Bollywood website...to hell with being politically correct or not, but I've been saying Bollywood since I was a kid so screw you if you think I'm not bein' propah and wat not. But goin' back to wat I was saying, I went and read a more elaborate version of the tweet and almost hit my head, 'cuz apparently there's CD with 8 tracks composed by him...now I sincerely hope it's not just from his movies, 'cuz c'mon that would sorta kinda b a rip off and it would be really difficult to pick only 8 tracks from the 198342193875098772345 tracks you've composed. So those of you buying his ottobiography I hope you guys get some fresh & original muzaak in there.

But yeah, can you imagine if his ottobiography was only a set of CD's with a composition that he thought was befitting for the story of his life..I mean can you imagine fresh and creative new ways of weaving in tunes from Roja, Bombay, Dil Se, Taal, Lagaan, Guru (just to name a few), oh right and Slumdog Millionaire in along with your compositions? AAAhhhh...thinking of ways to play around with all of that is sending me to music heaven...I would say nirvana or moksha, but technically that would mean nothing-ness and believe me when I say music, especially Rahman's compositions do not take you to a place of nothing-ness, they take you to newer planes, realms and dimensions. This man is a pioneer if anything and he has definitely raised the bar as far as music compositions and the quality of music is concerned. Not only that, he has also inspired a whole slew of people heck generations of people from all walks of life to be part of that divine revolution called Music.

But yeah, if I was a music composer, that's how I'd release my autobiography...as an epic composition. Maybe it sounds narcissistic or self-centred, but, some people are best at expressing themselves the way they've always expressed themselves...not everybody is a talker, not everybody comes with an arsenal of rapier wit and enchanting words. Expression is what makes us unique, and appreciation or criticism (I guess you gotta take both the good & the bad together for this one, one doesn't and cannot exist without the other) for this form of expression is what makes us, as human beings, come together. Well kids that's 'bout it for now, I just wanted to share this piece of news with all you Rahmaniites and I wanted to share my idea for a musical ottobiography with all you music afficandos out there. What do you guys think? Wouldn't that be a wicked cool idea? Or did someone already beat me to the punch with that idea? I wouldn't be surprised if they did...so here's my question to you, how would you compose/create (think outside or inside any box you want to, this ain't just limited to music) your autobiography? Take care peeps and I hope all is well with each and every one of you, until next time keep yer chin up & head up high 'cuz b8r days are always rite 'round the corner :). Cheers!

Song of the Day:

Song: Music
Artist: Madonna
Album: Music
Release Date: August 21, Circa 2000

Of Realities Alternate and Otherwise...The Truth really is out there somewhere

2011-03-13T13:31:00.000-07:00

As X-Filesy as this sounds, it definitely is not a take on our friendly extra terrestrials or anything of the sort. Besides, if I did start then I'd go into this whole spiralling tangent about CK a.k.a Superman and you know it would take quite a lotta virtual space before I finally ended the post :P. Now, before I digress into superheroes and all, what with this year being the Year of Superheroes (as far as movies are concerned) and all, there definitely will be a post 'bout it later on this year for sure. However, for now, this one is more a trip down the path of warped-ness...a path I am particularly fond of :). Yes...I can already hear those huge sighs of exasperation...well buck up and inhale all that you have to and have fun...is all I have to say :P.

What would happen if there were parallel universes? No…scratch that, what would happen if all our forms of existence on every alternate dimension/parallel universe thought the exact same thing at the exact same moment? What would happen then? Would it be one universal synchronous feeling of harmony? Or would it be one of those moments in life where things click into place and because it clicks into place a sense if not the epitome of perfection has been attained, and knowing that perfection and attainment aren’t exactly permanent concepts, something has to end…would that perfection be the fateful gong that marks the hour if not the end, that seals all our fates?

You know how we keep looking for signs from the ‘Universe’? What if the signs we are looking for are simply imprints left by all our other avatars…okay to make it simpler, what if those signs are basically just the entirety of our selves (including all the fragments from all realms of existence) connecting with us and guiding us towards what we are truly here to do…I mean think about it, what if that entire concept of gut feelings et al. is just the entirety of your being/self (heck you can call it soul if you want to) reaching out to you, nudging your memory towards the direction of lessons learned, not necessarily events precipitating the lessons.

This also leads me back to that fascinating yet ominous realm of dreams. For centuries dreams have been the centre of much mystery, interest and fascination. I have a take on the concept, sure maybe it’s inspired by my idea for a graphic novel and it may seem influenced by them lovely comeex as well, but I think our dreams are the bridges that link our different realms of existence together. I mean just think about it, the dreams you’ve had of yourself, what if that was you in a different realm of reality? Or a different heck even past life? Or an alternate universe per-se? Is it not possible? I mean the human mind after-all IS considered to be quite a complex structure…it isn’t exactly something that science has mapped out nor figured out completely. Nobody knows how much of our brainular energy it is that we use, nor where or what stimulates the thoughts we have, nor just how much our brain is capable of doing or whether there’s a particular frequency at which our brain functions best at and if so what that frequency is and how it differs from other living organisms. I’m not calling it a time-machine for one, but what if it was something that was the all access pass through space and time? How awesome would that be? Maybe that’s why we don’t remember our dreams…perhaps it’s the law of the Universe to not be able to possess memories of yourself from the different realms you just astrally projected into.

Heck maybe that’s what the whole feeling of déjà vu is all about you know? That sense of familiarity of having been somewhere or doing a task that some part of your mind feels like it has already done or been through. Sure it’s creepy but doesn’t it just make you wonder? Maybe we live in a world where everything is fast-paced and all but you can’t tell me that it has stopped you from thinking about random and bizarre occurrences. I mean maybe this is the foundation of that whole concept of soul-mates or that concept of having that feeling of knowing someone your whole life.

On that note, that should be enough soul food for the time being…it definitely has me thinking…perhaps this is one of those secrets of the Universe that we may never discover. I think I’d prefer it to be that way too, ‘cuz there just are some mysteries that should remain as they are not and not be uncovered. Definitely makes life a lot more interesting, fascinating and gives it the whole multi-faceted dimension and best of all…gives one’s imagination plenty of splendiforous things to go crazy about!! And you all know how much of a sucker I am as far as freeing the imagination is concerned. Heck it’s in you to free and unleash!!! Well on that note, I hope everything is well with everyone and if anything…Carpe both the Diem and Noctum depending which one intrigues you more. Don’t stop dreaming or believing, it really is what makes us who we are.

Numb - A Bells & Whistles Installment & Preview

2011-02-27T16:52:00.000-08:00

Hey guys!
So yes this post comes eons after my last one. However, with this post I'd like to share something with you guys, that's part of this project I'm working on. By project I mean story idea, yes I'm aware I have a lot of those, but just go with the flow a'ite? Well this project is tentatively titled Bells & Whistles, now if I went into the history of that name we won't finish this post until I guess 2012 so let's just keep it short shall we? I'm experimenting with a new writing style of sorts, and what I'm going to post is one of the chapters from the story/compilation. This project is pretty close to my heart and is a definite work in progress, and I sincerely hope it's sum'n I can finish this year, besides a few other things. I hope you guys will be kind enough to give me some feedback, if not it's all good as well...it comes with the standard disclaimer and warnings with all things related to my writing. Well, have fun and definitely lemme know what you think :).

Here's presenting one of the chapters from Bells & Whistles, titled Numb. Stay tuned to this space for updates on what the hell B & W is about, I will definitely elucidate on the idea in upcoming posts, due to a lil' bit of a time concern I won't be able to elaborate much on the idea at the moment. Happy Reading, and all your time and feedback is greatly appreciated!

Numb

Through the gateway,
Past the passage of
youth,
Of times characterized,
By innocence, purity,
and naivety;
Where the focus of life,
Was all about
Becoming the who,
what and why…
Of dreams of,
Many a day that passed
you by;
When you figured;
Nay, when you though,
You knew…
That nothing could
Stop you now;
That you had faced
Every hurdle, obstacle,
and difficulty,
Life could toss at you;
Just when you,
Were beginning to
settle down.
With the cards dealt,
By the hands of fate,
It hits you,
Smack you and,
Takes you down
by surprise.
Unannounced, Unwelcomed
Unwanted, and Un-needed;
It charges at you,
Like a wild, hungry
beast,
Daunting, with haunting
eyes;
Looming and casting
gloomy shadows.
A stiff reminder,
Of all the lessons yet
to be learned,
Of all those tricks,
That fiendish thing
called Life,
Has yet to unveil.
Broken spirits, broken
souls,
Faiths shaken,
Wandering zombies
of hope,
Waiting to be restored,
Like those wandering
souls,
Residing and roaming
purgatory.
Is this hell?
Is this my punishment?
Of crimes past,
And sins ever present?
Walking past that
gateway,
On that road,
Towards the next phase
of my life…
For the first time,
I felt like a trespasser.
Walking a path,
I should not be
walking;
Perhaps a life,
I shouldn’t be living.
Staring down the
abyss,
Of a beginning, of
change,
Of what I saw as my
ending.
When hope seemed
far out of grasp,
Beyond my reach,
When all the will I
had,
Felt like it was spent,
Trying and fighting.
When all the dreams,
Seemed like they,
Had their fates sealed…
Unfulfilled and broken,
Hurt…possessed by a soul
wilting,
Withering, dying…
Accompanied by the
frigid, stinging wind,
Of heartbreak, guilt,
And betrayal anew.
Shackled by the chains
of disappointment;
Carrier of weights,
Of woeful eyes,
Cause of many a
disappointed sighs,
And words…ever so sharp,
Ever so stark…
Like blades slicing through
the heart.
Like the blistering, dry
winds,
Blowing over many
a vast desert.
Blazing, branding, scorching,
Everything within it’s
path…
Numb…delirious and
lost,
Like the lost nomad,
Wandering that vast,
Barren desert called Life,
Searching for my oasis,
My spark and sign of life.
I fall on my knees,
Head bowed…
Hands spread wide,
In prayer…
Gesturing, asking;
The vast vagueness,
Of life and the Universe,
For that sign,
For that strength,
For that oasis of hope;
Just to keep fighting,
Just to keep looking
forward,
To brighter days,
And a better tomorrow.

SJ (Feb 24, 2011)

Song of the Day:

Song: Numb
Artist/Band: Linkin Park
Album: Meteora
Release Date: September 8, Circa 2003
Bells

No One Killed Jessica….Truth, Justice, Bureaucracy and the People.

2011-02-20T06:09:00.000-08:00

Welcome to a world that has more democracies than dictatorships, I mean I’d like to believe we live in a world where there’s a very slim chance of having dictatorships coming to the fore-front. But then again, politics is pretty much like sports where the results are always unexpected and unanticipated, unless you’re freaking Australia and you know you’re a sure fire bet for the Finals and heck even the World Cup, and that would be the ICC World Cup. To those unaware of such an event and what the ICC is, well Google it and I’m sure you’ll see what I’m talking about. Well okay it has a lot to do with the amazing game of Cricket. This post however, is highly inappropriate for a full discourse on cricket, because, I can actually go on and on about it for hours. None the less, getting back to the topic at hand…before we get any further let me just make one thing very clear, I am not a political analyst and I have nothing to say with regards to political parties and ridiculous bureaucracy.

When I first saw the promos of this movie, the first thing that got my attention was the plot-line, the racy and gritty cinematography and the most important thing being 2 stellar actresses, in my humble opinion, sharing screen space. I mean come on!! What else can you expect me to say when you see promos featuring Vidya Balan and Rani Mukherjee? Both actresses have proved so much with movies like Parineeta and Black (for instance) and they have so much more to contribute to the world of Indian cinema. The moment the promo got done I had set some expectations as far as this movie was concerned, and this definitely would have been a movie I would’ve gone to a theatre to watch. Unfortunately, my current location doesn’t afford that luxury of being able to go watch a Hindi movie in a theatre, but, that being said, I was completely and absolutely psyched to watch this movie. The general plot-line got me to go Google the movie and of course the ever friendly Wikipedia gave me a gist on what the plot/movie was based on. That only got me further interested and waiting with bated breath for this movie.

Now before I literally nose-dive into this review, there are a few things one should NOT expect from this movie. This is not a movie about political parties and the complications that arise from messing with politicians and things of the sort. You will not see the standard thugs hired by cronies of powerful politicians to take care of business by resorting to vile things like rape and things of the sort. It’s not a Satya, so don’t expect that extent or degree of gritty-ness, neither is this a glamorous depiction of events. This story is basically about truth, justice, unity and the power of the people. I’ll try and summarize the story as much as I can, as much as I don’t really like giving away the plot or anything of the sort. I mean I’d rather tell you what I felt when I watched the movie as opposed to summarizing the entire story, that as all you smarties know are available on numerous websites that do reviews, so you don’t really need to read the story all over again. Here’s the bare minimum, the story is set in Delhi…it all starts with a girl being shot in a high profile bar by a high profile person, who has lots of political power/clout. There are 300 witnesses but by the time the report gets filed down at the police station everyone has a different story and only 7 people are witnesses. The entire case falls apart and the suspects are released, much to the chagrin of the family, and all of this happens in six years. Six years of trying to resolve this case leads to the perpetrator being declared innocent and released, due to the wonderful cons of democracy. Yeah I know you’re probably going to say that’s both ridiculous and impossible that it took six years to resolve this case, but it’s the truth. There’s a short version of the case and trials on Wikipedia…I mean wow it’s just ridiculous as to what that family had to go through. Once the verdict is out, enter enraged journalist who is pissed with the end result justice delivered to what the journalist pretty much declared was an open and shut case due to huge number of witnesses that were there when this incident occurred. This journalist then sets about with a team to do what journalists do, to seek out the truth and present facts to the masses as they are. Ultimately, the case gets a lot of national attention and people are outraged by the incompetence exhibited by many parties that were responsible and involved with this case, and due to much public pressure the case is re-opened and dealt with in the Supreme Court.

Personally the movie lived up to my expectations and then some, I thought the performances were just exemplary and I’m glad this issue was brought up. Another I liked too was the little homage/tribute the movie paid to 'Rang De Basanti' (the word AMAZING is an under-statement when it comes to describing RDB). Nobody should ever have to go through what Jessica and her family had to go through, it has definitely got to be one of the most difficult and frustrating things a family or an individual has to face. All that pain, sadness, frustration, anger, numbness and bitterness is way too much for anybody to carry and I sincerely and truly hope that mistakes of this caliber and crimes of this degree don’t happen in the future. But just as much as this world is filled with enlightened and wiser people, there’s always that fair share of idiots and douches who like to refresh our memories with such horrendous incidents.

The story occurs over a time period when India had just settled down from a huge war that had brought a nation together and was moving forward in the direction of growth, development and progress especially in the whole technology, communications and scientific fields. They don’t or at least I think are not supposed to be inclined to any particular side, as they are the instruments of the people and have a responsibility to those very people to give them the truth and the facts in the purest and most undiluted way possible. Sure it might be a little far fetched and naïve to expect people to not take sides, but if there’s anything one cannot deny, it’s their dedication to hunt and go the extra mile to get to the very bottom of a story. You have to realize though, that this is not a revenge oriented story or one filled with lectures and speeches about what the youth should do or what people should do. This movie is just a reminder that not everything is as simple as it looks, and that there definitely is a lot of hope in this world we live in, because it isn’t always as ignorant as it seems. People should never assume that their actions won’t have consequences and on that very same note they shouldn’t be taken for granted either. There is much power, fervor, passion and ferocity for justice and equality that can be evoked within the common man, because there’s only so much bull shit that anyone can put up with. So if you’re one of those people who think that you can keep screwing people over and none of this is going to get back to you, I’d like to give you the following warning…think before you do something stupid. It might seem like one or two people to you, but if you count all those people you’ve screwed over in the past that’s entirely something else to think about now isn’t it? They’re like the drops of water that over time collect and form an ocean, so watch your words and actions, there’s only so much oppression anyone will take.

The public/general populace is quite the force to contend with, and we must never forget that. We have…in fact; we are the power that is responsible for a lot of important and leading figures to be the people they are. We are what make them (yes I’m using the Us v/s them analogy), and we should never forget that, with that in mind we should never under-estimate all the change we’re capable of bringing about in the world and we should never psych ourselves to believe that there is nothing we can do when we’re shackled by the chains of suppression and oppression. Heck I don’t need to say that to you guys, that’s something History has highlighted time after time, but sometimes we just need someone to hit that ‘reset’ button to remind us of all that we are capable of.

Song of the Day:

Song: Dilli
OST: No One Killed Jessica
Release Date: December 1, Circa 2010

Ps: I love how uninhibited the script is, watch out for swearing, if you're someone who cannot tolerate swearing yet wanna watch the movie jus' ear muff it.

Candle In the Wind

2011-02-05T11:13:00.000-08:00

A major issue these days that I think gets side lined if not stated as a numb statistic and factoid is the case of suicide. The only time it receives crazy attention is if it's something that involves and serves several human rights and welfare groups' agendas. I mean it's stated about as starkly and casually as the casualties of war. I use war in the singular and not the plural because both you and I know there are way too many of them going on for me to rant about. But that's one I shall save for another time.

Here's going back to the topic at hand. I wanted to post about this issue before, around December or so to be honest. I was having one of those crisis of conscience, life, questions about the big picture and fun hints of the sort or well you could also call it procrastination I guess...as I was gearing up for exams around that time. Yea yea I know what the hell was I looking at that made me want to write about suicides right?

Well for starters I was doing some research about study strategies and ways to minimize procrastination and fun things of the sort because as you all know procrastination will be the death of us all. Okay for you "preservation of the English language" groups and you grammar Nazis I know the previous sentence was a wonderful example of repetition. None the less I was in the middle of finding some inspiration and somewhere between browsing for inspiration and catching up on Facebook almost every 2 minutes, which might I add was not a lotta fun as the News Feed kept showing me the same old news again and again. I mean do I really care about people's narcissistic expressions about themselves especially when they have a gazillion pictures of themselves in different poses. Actually no scratch that make that albums dedicated to themselves titled "Me" or "Moments" or some such BS. I mean I know we live in a time of self promotion and then some where we all are our own agents to promote and market ourselves bit a little toning down never hurt anyone, especially my eyes. Anyway I do digress...so this one time that my the feed refreshed if not updated itself I saw a post that went something along the lines of how this friend of mine was apologizing to another friend for not being there for them and for not seeing that something was not right. I mean yeah that seems like no biggie right? But what followed after those lines piqued my curiosity, my friend said something like "If only I had noticed something back then you probably would have been here today to hear and celebrate one of the greatest moments of my life. But now even this news holds no excitement without having you to share it with. I cannot believe it's been 7 months without you." or something along those lines. At first glance it just seems like a regular message between friends who I guess sorta lost touch with each other due to the climbing and growing burdens the world today seems to have fun piling on to us. It was the end of the message that caught me off guard, that last line about being watched over and until we meet again. I think I was hit by a wave of guilt, concern, sadness and a jarring if not glaring sense of awareness. You would think that was all that caught me off guard; following the message was a response to that message by I guess the mother of the dearly departed friend. Now that was definitely heart-breaking, my curiosity got the best of me yet again and I wanted to know if the account was still active or not. So I went into the profile and lo and behold there were all these comments, messages and responses this individual's mother had written.

The thing that hit me the most was how much guilt the parent was harboring. Just seeing those pleas and questions of 'why' and 'how' just broke my heart. Being a child (yes I still am one so you can quit the eye rolling) it's the hardest thing in the world to see parents blaming themselves and considering themselves to be failures as parents. Well more than that it's hard to see them do or accept heck agree to what their kids try not to make them feel. It hurts more when a child sees they weren't able to protect their parents from whatever it was they were trying to protect them from.

I know suicide is one of those delicate matters that isn't condoned by many components of humanity. I mean not a lotta people stop to think of the hows and why's they jump straight to the 'what a coward' aspect of things. It definitely takes more than a coward to finalize that decision and to contiguity with it if you think about it. None the less I'm not here to support or shoot down the topic, I'm in no position whatsoever to do that. Just reading that post got me thinking about what one can do or should do or what we as friends, sisters, brothers, lovers, spouses and parents should look out for. I mean if something happened to someone close to me I'm not sure how I would react. I might hold myself personally responsible for not being there enough or for not sensing something was up.

I think if anything the entire incident had me feeling just how much we take everything for granted and how we don't necessarily realize that until something drastic or unexpected happens. I mean there are some if us who love to broadcast every single problem or low we hit and then there are some of us who tend to tuck away and bottle up all of that and try and put up a real brave and strong face. Bottom line we all hit major lows but sometimes we feel trapped, if not buried alive by our own thoughts of failure and utter disappointment. This holds even more weight for those of us with the 'Black sheep of the family' complex. Yeah so pretty much anything and everything we read these days tell us to reach out to those we know and we can reach out to. But, oh and that's one big but, what makes things worse is when we reach out to people we consider even closer than family and all we get are those standard lines that any random person on the street would give you. That tends to compound and further fracture an already delicate situation, especially if it's someone for whom you would drop most things you're doing just to be there for them. Then you have that proverbial kicking yourself in the ass feeling, i should know personal experience and all. Trust me no amount of saying have zero expectations is going to make a person have zero expectations especially when it comes to matters of the heart. However, going back to what I was saying, not everybody is a walking, talking mood thermostat waiting to divulge any and all info regarding their lives. I know everyone has a crazy ass, hectic life where the only free time if they get any free time us that spent catching up on z's or doing more work. But please take some time outta that life filled win hustle n bustle to just drop a line, message heck even an email to the people that matter to you. You never know, sometimes that one action could be the reprieve if not turning point, heck I would go as far as saying the salvation they needed.

Suicide is no joke, and I don't care if you disagree with me for most part as far as this post goes but I do hope you get that message of not taking anyone for granted. Trust me, even if it's once in I dunno 6 months it makes a helluva difference and it matters. Take the time out to remind those close to you just how amazing they are because you never know how far that little reminder is gonna take them. Well I guess that's it for now folks, I'm not sure if I said enough of what I wanted to say about this issue but if I have more to say then hey there's always that new post option.

If you were expecting a moral, ethical and religious discourse on the issue then I guess I'm sorry to disappoint. Nobody except the G-man and okay maybe the law gets to make a call like that. Well I hope all is going decently well for all of you and if it ain't then just hold out...things are gonna turn around before you know it even if it doesn't seem like it you just gotta believe it will.

Song(s) of the Day:

Song: Dante's Prayer
Artist: Loreena McKennitt
Album: The Book of Secrets
Release Date: September, Circa 1997

Song: Kyun Main Jaagoon
Artist: Shafqat Amanat Ali
Album: Patiala House
Release Date: January 7, Circa 2011

Song: Haunted
Artist: Kelly Clarkson
Album: My December
Release Date: June 22, Circa 2007

Of all things Charmed & Dandy

2011-01-20T16:28:00.000-08:00

Okay this is a heavy disclaimer, this post has some heavy duty ranting about the TV show Charmed, and if you have never seen it nor have any interest in it step away from this post RIGHT NOW, that's right close the tab, hit the backspace button or just hit the link box and type in another address and go along your merry way. I have had this need to rant about this show for a while now and this is a lotta ranting about the show. Don't say you weren't warned when this is the very first paragraph. If you still however progress to read this and consider this an absolute waste of your time, well your fault you ninny head. Until the next post then peepz...

So there's always those days and moments where you are almost certain that you are going cookie for sure. I mean come on!!!! Who the hell obsesses over TV shows that had the craziest shake up with their cast, my case in point being charmed. Maybe I might be the only one to think so but damn guy that show went to hell....literally. It's like the Source of all evil took over the show and tossed it to like the tacky lower level demons that the show introduced us to over the seasons. First big mistake was to eliminate Prue from the show. If they wanted to eliminate a character it should have been Phoebe. She did get really annoying over the seasons and she cannot act for nuts. So they, the they being the PTB of the show. A few people or maybe many might shoot me for saying this but the truth stings and I sincerely believe that the show just depreciated in content and quality after season 3. Okay season 4 was sorta kinda the beginning of the end. I found it quite depressing and I kept expecting Prue to show up, if not to kick some demon ass (which, she did an awesome job of might I add) then to ease Piper's pain and be there for her. I personally think that of all the sisters the greatest bond was between Prue and Piper, I think if anything they were each other's rock. That last episode of season 3 oh man Prue's reaction to Piper's death was just heart wrenching. Heck I have no words to describe what I thought of that scene. Think about it I think Prue would never have forgiven herself if anything happened to Piper. Is it just me or did Phoebe just seem all oh hey okay Prue is dead and yay we have another sister. I think that really aggravated me and she was sorta responsible for the death of her sister. Yeah sure take a leap of faith in the name of love and all that crap. She seemed absolutely fine after her sister's death which is absolute crap. There was no grieving except that one scene where she seemed to have a breakdown or some bull shit. Yes I am ranting about this show and I shan't stop until I am done ranting. I think the show ran for 8 seasons too long and they had some real shit.

I really tried to watch the show beyond season 3 and by the second episode of the sixth season I gave up. I tossed my hands up and had a "Piper" moment. I thought the episode was going to freeze and my torture would end. The only reason I made it that far was because of Holly Marie Combs; now she was the only saving grace of the show following Shannen Doherty's exit. There was so much potential that one could see in those first three seasons. Then some idiot decided to can 2 very crucial elements of the show. The first being the above mentioned Shannen Doherty and the second being the actual creator of the show, Constance M Burge. My understanding, which may not seem necessarily apt for this situation, is one where I think whoever fired her is was and will always be a bloody tool. Okay some of the complaints which i read up on a few forums hate how childish and demented the show became. The childish aspect I don't mind so much because it gives kids and the rest of us idiot box lovers something to get our minds to actively participate in. Okay sure the show ain't no Jeopardy or Who wants to be a millionaire or any trivia or self improvement show or any of that ultimate fighter stuff. But me being the buff with things varying between the realms if fantasy, mystery and the supernatural shows like this get the cogs in me head turning. My folks think I over obsess and I won't deny that I don't but the idiot box is something that has held my attention and piqued my curiosity since I was a kid. Contrary to popular belief and/or notions I wasn't the popular kid with the friends falling left, right and centre nor was I the kid who had someone to go chill with and talk my problems, cares and concerns with. So sue me for having an opinion about the things I watch.

Going back to what I was talking about earlier, not only did they murder an amazing show, get rid of some of the better creative influences on the show they didn't even have the freaking courtesy of bringing back one of the main people mentioned above for the finale of the show. I mean WHAT THE HELL?!?!? How can you not bring back Prue Halliwell for a series finale, what the hell are you smoking? I read the whole schpiel about budget issues and that's a load of bull. The other thing I read was the guy helming the show and responsible for it's absolute death and destruction, did not even bother calling the actress to reprise her role. What a douche and a half. Anyway the show should have ended at season 7 heck even way before season 7 but while it did run till then that's where it should have ended. At least it had a decent ending that series finale while being nostalgic I just absolutely hated how they completely sidelined one of the primary characters that made this show a household name during her 3 season run on it. Sure call me a disloyal fan for not tuning into the show or heck giving up on it after that 2 episode adventure from season 6. While I do have quite the patience and tolerance level there was none left by the time I got to season 6. What bullshit was that anyway, just thinking of the time spent going through those seasons makes me cringe.

None the less just when I thought the dust on Charmed had settled I read that it has gone the Buffy, Angel and Firefly way or rather the Joss Whedon way. Apparently since last year they have started publishing Charmed Season 9 comic books. While I did groan a little there was also a part of me that got uber excited. I mean can you think of all the cool things they could do? I think the thing that triggered my excitement was when I saw a sketch of....wait for it.....that's right people...Prue Halliwell, by one of the artists working on the comic book version. So I had an absolute fan girl moment and e-mailed the publishers and sent them one of those comments thingymajiggs to pretty please bring Prue back and guess what...They actually freaking responded and said that they have received lots if emails from fans asking to bring Prue back. I mean if anything I think they need to bring her back at least for Piper's sake. She never recovered from losing Prue and the chemistry between the sisters was definitely missing something that the first three seasons had. That does not heifer mean that I have no appreciation for Paige. I think they killed off the wrong sister, apparently creativity got canned and Phoebe's whorey-ness was decidedly the key focus to draw in viewers. None the less I do digress from that e-mail I sent Zenescope (yes that's how attached I get to things, even if the B-man said that attachment is something we need to get rid of as it is the cause of desire and fun things of the sort). Anyhoo after reading that message I was beaming with excitement and I definitely did have my internal squeals of joy. Yes things like this definitely make me happy, it may seem insignificant but I like finding my happiness where I can especially after the ridiculous start this year has taken so far.

Appreciating things like this brings on a different feeling of happiness than you get from doing other things that make you happy. It's almost as if you're saying your thank you'd to the creative part of your brain and you know you need your creativity to sometimes deal with those curve Allston life throws at you. Okay saying curveball sorta doesn't come easily to me because I am more of a cricket girl v/s baseball. So I guess I should rephrase that as googlies versus curvaceous or heck even flippers or doosras. Them flippers and doosras are tricky bastards to face. Right must focus on one thing at a time. Well I think this about covers my rant about Charmed, it has been one that I have had for a few years and that was re-triggered while I was watching a few episodes from the first three seasons. Well I guess I will have to bide my time and make do with those 3 seasons until Prue returns in the graphic world. I sincerely hope she returns as a permanent character, even though we did get a glimpse of the future in that series finale we also know that nothing goes the way it should or as is seen in the future. Prue's death sorta implies that dun' it? Well on that note I'm gonna take off now, and yes for those of y'all who have loved every season of this show watch out for the comics. Apparently every 6 issues is equivalent to an episode. I wonder if they will get Constance Burge to write an episode? I think that would be just an awesome way to pay homage to the creator of this idea/vision/idea.

Well I think I have done my fair share of ranting for the moment. Take care everyone and I hope things are working out for you guys more at this moment than they are for me. Take care of yerselves you minions from both flu like factors and mind boggling factors and so I bid ye farewell in true Charmed fashion...."Blessed Be"

Greetings, Felicitiations and Merry New Year

2011-01-19T01:22:00.000-08:00

So you know that old adage "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" or some such sweet nothings of the sort? Well it's kinda sorta true, or at least that's the way I feel about coming back here...it's been a while, I think the monstrosity of akademia took over my non existent life. Well and you know some monsters can be slayed, while others you just I guess learn to strike a balance with.

It's been a few tough days, but then again, busting your chops at the beginning of the year I hope is a good sign. Just keeps you working and striving harder for the rest of the year or sum'n like that. Regardless of all the downhill moments I've had so far I'd still like to think I have a hint of optimism left in me. None the less, I do hope you chumps had a fantastic New year or at least a fantastic time celebrating and ringing in the New Year. Mine was a very quaint and different affair, in years we actually rang the new year in with other folks, usually it's the familial unit chilling and ringing in that stroke of the midnight hour. Oh well I guess it's a sign from the universe to shake up my routine a little huh?

Now, this post has been under creation for a while, and I have good reasons for that as well. Things have been a bit rough these last few weeks, since ushering in the 2011 and all. I see people reaching out to do new things creatively, which makes me heave a slight sigh of relief 'cuz I'd like to believe that we all still have the power to create and bring into this world fresh ideas and approaches towards things. It's heart warming I guess, but while on that topic I really wish people would be like these fresh ideas as well. Unfortunately or fortunately you don't always get what you hope and wish for.

Okay I know this is pretty much common knowledge for everyone but in case you didn't notice, I tend to go off on a ramble 'bout friends and friendship and things of the sort when I get into the realm of people and changes and things of the sort. These last few weeks have been something close to disastrous but not so dramatic that I'd call it that, they've been extremely rough ones. They've been chipping away at my soul, my humanity, my conscience and definitely my temper. My anger has transcended the bursts of red to serene, blinding hot silver, sharp enough to cut through anything. Now I'm not the kind of person to stop the next person on the street and sob my heart out, firstly I'd be terribly embarassed and would rather crawl under a rock and disappear for good. I'm also not the person who will badger my friends to take a few minutes outta their lives to listen to my tale of woes, okay maybe I should ask them but I've got my reasons not to do so. Blame it on my childhood I guess, and if you're gonna be thinking 'oh yeah of course blame it on something else and don't take responsibility for your own actions and thought processes' then well hey you're entitled to do that. But to make your miserable thought process a lil' less miserable, I am blaming myself I just don't like being direct with things like that :P, I mean hell where's the suspense then?

None the less, like most things I digress, but I would like to think that when you're so connected with people on levels that transcend that of acquaintances then do you not have the basic courtesy of saying hey u a'ite there? Things don't seem too great with ya and you haven't quite been yourself is everything a'ite? Or did I just get switched into some fuckin' Bizzaro world where nobody really cares how anyone is doing but is just more concerned 'bout milking that cow for what it's worth and then sending it off to the meat packin' factory down the road for the execution and mechanical farewell? Oh hell yeah I'm gonna be spewing quite a bit of acid in this post so if you can't take a heavy dose of spewing 2 words for you mate, PISS OFF. Go do something constructive then. None the less, I must rant my fingers feel mega excited to rather leave imprints on the wall and ripping the concrete and cement and everything else the fuck apart but I'm trying to still stick to my 'Gandhian' ways of Ahimsa. Let's hope no human crosses my anger threshold today to suffer the consequences, I'm just hoping my gob doesn't decide to rack out some shellfire if that were to happen today. 'cuz while actions do leave lasting impressions words leave lasting imprints, forever branded in the depths of our memories. Anyway, getting back to the narrative going on here besides that of a very fitting description of the anger consuming me inside out, a few months ago friend of mine that I do consider family was in 'woe is me' mode where things seemed to fall apart 'cuz hey a relationship fell apart. So, me being the sucker for things tragic and weepy and apparently with a hero complex the 'heroine complex' I swooped in to be the shoulder. Mind you I was being a virtual shoulder to the salt water being shed, and I was spending all this time trying to be there and trying to help fix problems that were beyond my control and grasp. I guess I'll never learn to not be a sucker for stupid things like this. Call me heartless if you must but seriously a relationship beyond repair is not the end of the world, there are more things that need to be repaired and fixed in the world besides matters of the heart. Especially if it's matters of the heart that you're unwilling to compromise and meet someone halfway with, 'cuz heck if you and the other person know it's meant to be and there's nothing else to it then you WILL make it work, Plain and simple, but if you're complicating it up all for your own self that just shows that you clearly have plenty of time on your hands and that you'd rather spend time complicating your life rather than making sense out of it.

Okay before you relationshipped and packaged people pounce on me with your questions, the first answer is no I've never been in one and yes I can still talk 'bout it 'cuz I've seen enough. I actually do keep my eyes open, even if I do have visual problems, my eyes are ears tend to be open most of the time. So yeah I think I do know a thing or 2 about the subject, and trust me especially if you have seen that which I have seen oh fuck yeah you do know a thing or 2 about things. I'm no expert, actually nobody is, even if you are someone who has been in what 7 relationships in the last decade or so yeah no you aren't no expert. However, like I was saying, there's more than just fickle relationships to keep your eyes and ears open out there for. So like I was saying, my friend was down in the dumps and I was trying to check in and make sure things were okay and that they were progressing forward with their life despite the setback of the heart. I think that was another learning period for me, I learned how easy it is to shove the blame onto another friend if you know things weren't as rosy as they used to be or if you aren't as close to people as you used to be. And it's so much easier to do so when you do not make the effort to do so, and it's even easier to attach and tag labels on your friends. I'm not saying it is any one person's fault, friendship is a 2 way street like most things in life and both parties are responsible for the failure in communication. I kinda sorta got dragged into yet another thing that was not my problem to deal with, I have a very uncanny ability of being dragged into things, whether I want to be dragged into it or not. The worst thing to get dragged into however is the additional baggage category of friends, you know, the category where a friend doesn't want to meet another friend or puts off meeting a friend because there's this retarded notion of not being able to see them or do anything with them because there's been no time or yeah there's just no fucking good excuse you can come up with besides being a lazy slob who can't respect what you have. Jaesus, it amazes me how the world is filled with more people that fit this general, myriad description of a human being. No wonder the future seems so bleak, dull and gray to most people, and it's no surprise that optimism died a painful, horrible and gruesome death a while ago. What's worse is that the optimistic ones keep getting teh short end of the stick and squeezed into losing their optimism. If you can't handle optimism that's your problem, why not leave those that are trying to do something better for everyone alone and let them try and attempt at making things a lil' better. Does it not strike anyone that maybe people like being optimistic 'cuz that's the way they deal with their problems, maybe by seeing the light in someone else's eyes or the light in another situation actually gives them the hope and faith to face their fears and fight their battles and demons. But no, that's just ridiculous right? To let anyone else have that shot at happiness if you can't have it.

Anyway, while I was home for to celebrate a time of cheer, happiness, family and love I made sure I paid my respects to all those people and things that made me feel that way. I'm glad I got to meet the few people that are my family, spending even those few hours with them was the healing and energy I needed to keep that fire of determination and hope burning. It was a crazy ass hectic time but it was worth every ounce of it to just bask in the warmth of their love, understanding, company and smiles. And the metaphorical icing on the cake was the bubbling, giggling sound of my niece. Oh man if there was any therapy that could make a heart lighter and a soul brighter it would be that aura of innocence and purity of a child that washes over you. It heals many a crack and fissure in quite the chipped heart, reminds you of the fact that there are things in this world worth living for and heck worth dying for to protect. Anyway, I guess I was the fool to expect said friend to actually turn around and notice and give a shit 'bout things. I forget people like to be wrapped up in their own world. 'Welcome to the real world' you say? Well I guess you're about as disillusioned as the rest of us, what the hell happened to people actually standing up to this shit and not taking things like this? What happened to proving crap like this is redundant and there is something to actually look forward to? I don't think our future needs more bleakness than the media and news tends to cover. Stop looking for facades, hell stop making them in the first place. How far are your facades gonna take you? To that blurry horizon that you see as your future? Ya think? I mean honestly WAKE UP!!! Nothing ever goes the way you think it will, even if you have decided that you are the master of your future, fate and destiny 'cuz you aren't. Whether you like it or not, you really aren't, things are pre-ordained and the paths you take you can think you've beaten your destiny or whatever but you wouldn't be walking it if you weren't meant to walk it. You can keep thinking whatever it is that you keep thinking to make it through the day or night, but believe you me when I say life is and WILL throw a monkey wrench into all your well planned and carefully laid out plans. As much as I'd love to the be precocious arse who says 'I told you so' I take no pleasure in anyone's misery, even if it is someone that I cannot stand.

Well I think that's enough of a start to kick start this year of posts with. They may not be as frequent, or maybe they will be, who knows it's always too early to tell as far as these things are concerned. I hope the year ahead is one filled with insight and reflection for all of ya'll, there's a lotta strife going around in this world, and as much as we love shrugging our shoulders and say too bad it's happening or this can't be helped it was expected it's about time we stopped that shrugging. You know stop and turn around and see how you can help, help in any way, size, shape or format will always make a difference. It will change a life, if not the person you're trying to help out it will change yours. And there is nothing better than change to accept and grab by the horns 'cuz change is one of those guests that likes to call on you frequently whether you're ready for it or not. Cheers everyone and here's wishing you all the very best in everything for the upcoming year.

Song(s)of the day

Song: A Message
Band/Artist: Coldplay
Album: X&Y
Release Date: June 6, Circa 2005

Song: Missing
Band/Artist: Evanescence
Album: Anywhere but Home
Release Date: November 24, Circa 2004

Remembrance and Deliverance.

2010-11-13T02:13:00.000-08:00

The latest from my Thought Factory, lemme know what you guys think :)

Remembrance and Deliverance

I remember I remember,
Those cold harsh winters
of December.
With people and the world,
Running amok in happiness
and holiday cheer.
Putting aside differences,
Overlooking their fears.
Revisiting un-kept promises,
Reflecting upon unforeseen
consequences.
Vowing to be better,
Vowing to make changes.
Promising yet gentle,
Every demeanor, every
action;
Like the soft and gentle
snow flakes,
Falling to the ground,
Framing my window.
A reminder of all that
was built,
Of all that we had,
And of all that,
Which once is gone,
Can never come back.
While embracing the spirit
Of happiness, peace and unity,
Which brings us together.
We rush to forget however,
Scars, memories and wounds,
Stained, tattooed and branded
By the piercing, barbed,
Razor sharp blades of
difference.
Of hatred and discord.
We choose to forget,
Our past wrongs;
While searching for peace,
While looking for redemption.
Barely registering, nor
regarding,
The consequences of
our actions.
Forgetting the ease
With which it is,
That we sow the seeds
of disagreement,
Of unrest, of discord.
Forgetting the many
sacrifices,
Of life, love and home,
By those long forgotten
heroes
Who walked the treacherous
path
Towards, unity, togetherness
and hope.
The only memories of them,
Coming from faded
pictures,
And treasured photo frames.
Puffy, swollen and distant,
Red eyes…
Eyes filled with a hope,
An anticipation,
A simple expectation of
a miracle,
Only to be shattered by,
Crushing realization and
stark truths.
A realization...A hollowness
Magnified by those tear
tracks,
Appearing on many a weary
face.
With the realization of never
ever being whole.
Forgotten are they,
Like inconvenient truths;
In this jungle of facades,
Bonhomie and fake camaraderie.
In the midst of our yet to be made
Promises and vows,
And prayers for better days
and better lives,
Lets not forget those sacrifices,
Those struggles, those fights,
For peace, for unity,
And happiness unsurpassed.
Lest we take for granted,
Those precious lives whose time had
come to pass.
For they are beacons,
They are our strength,
And they are ultimately,
The very reasons,
If not the core motivation,
To do what’s right.

SJ
(Nov 12, 2010)

The Thought Mart - This week's special...The Written Word !!

2010-11-09T07:20:00.000-08:00

Hey guys n gals...hope all is well with ya'll. Yeah I know I got a bit of a drawl goin' back there, fun things that happen while you're trying to keep your brain in check. Anyway, I had a few thoughts zipping through my head, yes I know go on roll your eyes , about a few elements of that quirky thing called life. I know you've all heard that a person is defined by the sum of their actions or at least I hope some of you have heard of it, and for those of you who haven't well I guess you learned something new today and are waltzin' outta that cocoon of ignorance society revels in today. I mean hey if you don't know 'bout it then why bother right? Besides we have enough junk we gotta know so why should we bother about knowing and learning more right? None the less, I think that we are not just the sum total of our actions, but also the sum total of our sacrifices. Now that doesn't mean we should start keeping track of all that we sacrifice, I mean for some of us that's equivalent to giving up carbs for 2 months and for others it's giving up on all those wondrous dreams to live in this moment of reality. Now I ain't no accountant with the Bank of D&K but every sacrifice besides being another step in the refinement/extraction process of who we are, it has tremendous meaning and significance in the grander scheme of things.

Besides all this fun and fascinating talk 'bout sacrifices and actions, I was recently reminded of my other job as a mere mortal, that I actually forgot about and was pretty glad forgetting about....that of being a friend. Well its not a job to me per se but in a few cases it really does seem like it, that's how much the bond is respected if not cherished. But then again, I shouldn't have expectations, like my madre says my belief in people will be the death of me. But here's where my bone of contention lies, if you don't have faith or belief or rather hope in people, then what's the point in existing? We all live by the balance of hope and faith, whether we believe it or not, its one of those involuntary things. I mean before when I'd realize that nothing changed w.r.t some people I'd be pretty bummed out, I guess I've moved on along in life as well just as they have and I think I'm glad I feel indifferent 'bout it. Now I dunno if that means the next time there's a check in at heartbreak hotel if I'm gonna be available, but I do know this for a fact...they really aren't worth my salt and if experience has taught me nething it's this that they'd be the first deserters at the scene. So, ultimate moral of the story, make sure you turn to yourself first and then to your support system. Sound crappy? Well, too bad, it's useful 'cuz of the nature of the world we live in, it's so fast past paced and perhaps ultra demanding, not to forget competitive as well in that mix that sometimes heck most times our support systems will be involved in their own battles and their problems. I guess some people just don't deserve those many chances huh? And some people just won't change from their own self-absorbing ways, so much so that if they don't receive that 'normal' bite of attention then you know then the person not giving them that attention has turned into a egotistical, narcissistic, self absorbed twat. I mean forgive me if others have a life with real problems that don't go hoverin' around your life nor your wants and needs. So instead of sitting there and claiming and declaring them to be a reflection of yourself, get our arse off that high throne and try and be useful. Try and be that 'friend' that they seek comfort in rather than being the pop up ad that people get annoyed with. Try and be a part of people's lives rather than pushing them away when your quota of 'I have everything I need and then some' is fulfilled, and only going back to them when that dream pops like a soap bubble and you need to find your bearings. I mean honestly have we fallen so much that we don't value everything we have? And only choose to value a few things when the time is right? Next thing you know it'll be valued when the price is right *rolls eyes*, I mean hey it is a scary thought isn't it? To be evaluated by how much you are worth monetarily rather than what you're worth as a person. Perhaps it is my naivety that's bellowing itself out here, but hey that thought does make me sick.

Okay now I feel like that Ask Aunt Alice column from Young Times, for those of you who aren't familiar with Young Times, it used to be and I think still is, this magazine for kids that came once a week, I think Tuesdays, with the paper.

I had the randomest memory w.r.t Young Times the other day, while watching Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman. On one of the episodes they mentioned "Pen Pals" while that had a completely different connotation on the show, well it referred to cell mates and other convicts in prison, it reminded me of this section that the magazine used to have. It brought a smile to my face, 'cuz to me now the concept I guess seems so far fetched to think back to, especially in this day and age where everything is a clikkity clak away. That also reminded me of my English and Hindi classes where we learned how to write formal letters and how to start the letters and the differences between formal and informal letters and how to end those letters. It makes me wonder if this fast paced progress of ours has made us forget the art of writing. Writing goes far beyond being a skill or talent someone has or a gift someone has. It's the thing that brings all of us together, it binds us, our thoughts, dreams and visions. And the beauty of it all is that each and every one of us are blessed with it, we just don't exercise it enough I guess. Doesn't mean that everyone has to go write poetry or the next big novel/series of a lifetime, it just means don't ever consider yourself to be any lesser than anybody else, because everybody is different and brilliantly unique in their own way. It's just sad how we tend to lose focus on the brilliant and unique aspect and choose to instead focus on the different aspect of things. More than that we tend to use this 'difference' as a weapon and as a way to further segregate ourselves rather than as something to bring us together.

I remember last year in one of my classes, while the poor proff was droning on about amino acids I think, I wrote a poem in there and one of my colleagues/friends who read the poem said dude what the hell are you doing here? You should be doing something else, you'd be much better off spending your future writing than being here and enduring this painful nonsense. So when I responded by saying well yeah I will do it after this first journey is over, to which my colleague said 'You can't do both, you can only do one and I think you should be a writer and that this painful road is not worth it.' Maybe she had a point, maybe she didn't but see, I have a small glitch in my system, I'm the kinda person who doesn't like being relegated to one thing...my interests vary far and wide, and I personally believe that people should do whatever and everything it is that they wish to do. I'm not just saying this peepz, I don't say things I don't mean or don't do myself, in fact I'm sure my friends can attest to this attitude of mine. C'mon guys when was the last time I walked down the same old beaten path? and decided hey lets just do it this way :P. I mean heck if the G-man ain't stoppin' ya who are a few people to stop ya right?

Anyway guys, I gotta get back to more pressing issues happening back here on this fun filled journey of my future. To be honest while I do know what path I've set out on, I'm not quite sure what the end of this journey holds and whether this journey will take me to one of my biggest dreams, but hey what's life without wishing and hoping that it works out right? Thanks for riding the tour bus on this journey you guys, and I hope all is going well with all of ya!!! Good luck with everything you got coming your way this week and I hope you guys have a great week ahead!!!

Song(s) of the Day

Song: Afterglow
Singer/Band: INXS ft Sona
Album: Switch
Release Date: Circa, 2005

Song: The Animal Song
OST: The Other Sister
Album: Affirmation
Artist/Band: Savage Garden
Release Date: Circa, 1999

Mind Games - How Mental Can You Get?

2010-10-31T04:45:00.000-07:00
Well that takes care of a load of that, I do remember starting this post earlier with something quite intensely reflective I guess, but oh well I guess one can hold onto one's reflections for only so long, be it mentally or virtually. The recent hiatus has not been due to the lack of opinions, oh trust me in this overly opinionated world that we live in I do have quite a lotta opinions, however, the hiatus ha been due to the lack of time to indulge in one of my few fav. pastimes. It's surprising how insufficient 24 hours in a day seems/feels like. Though I wonder if anytime in the near future we will have an overextension of time from 24 hours to 26 hours. I mean can you imagine like a global decree coming out declaring that 26 hours constitutes a day henceforth and that any notion or thought of a 24 hour day will be considered null and void?

Heck that sounds like something I'd see on some show on the tele or some sci-fi/fantasy thing that I'd read or watch. Anyway, I do hope things have been much better for the rest of you guys, life has been a bit tumultuous to say the least. There's this quirky thing 'bout it, in case you're wondering what 'it' refers to the 'it' refers to life in general, but yeah I was saying, it's a quirky thing 'cuz you always will learn something new about yourself and about the world around you on a daily basis. If not you will always learn that there are some solid concrete things about you that can never be changed and it just solidifies your opinions and views about yourself, regardless of how appreciative or depreciative they may be.

You know it's sad, in this world where we're on a constant search mission for heroes we tend to seek and destroy people who attempt to be heroes or rather who attempt to stand up for what the perception of a hero tends to be. I think we find it more convenient and much easier to criticize and put people down in this day and age than we did once upon a time. There's a severe shortage of appreciation coursing through anybody's veins these days, and not a lotta people are willing to have somebody else's back, and if they do, there's always more questions surrounding why a person willingly and voluntarily chooses to help or do something for someone than someone who has a personal agenda to fulfill. Whatever happened to doing things out of the 'goodness of your heart'? I'm sure evolution hasn't evolved us so far that we've lost our instinct to trust nor our instinct for compassion. I've had people ask me what the reason behind me being nice is, and I've often just responded with a confounded and astounded expression. This doesn't mean that I'm glorifying myself in any way, shape or form, heck I know I'm not a nice person, I don't need confirmations or testimonials 'bout that. But it surprises me when a kind act is questioned more than a vile or malicious one. I mean when someone dupes you and uses you as the door mat or stepping stone towards their goals it's much easier to accept it by saying 'Oh yeah I got played, but I guess that's just the way of life. Smarten up or get stabbed in the back time after time.' Why is that? Why is it easy to justify something like that over something that falls in the realm of actions that are polar opposites?

Sure my questions might seem naive, but be honest, have you never thought 'bout it? Or are people just content in being lackadaisical about living in a world where we teach future generations not the essence or richness of harmony but rather hand down that foul smelling, acrid, corrosive element of discord? It is said that the faster you know the ways of the world the faster you grow up, well you know what? I do know a few ways of the world and most of the ways I've seen are nothing short of being immature and stupid. Heck even kids know how to handle situations better than a few "grown ups" do. Nowadays people stop at nothing short of pulling their competition down, instead of growing from the air of competitiveness most people are in the mood to strike at petty, personal things and create a huge scene. It's all about drama and the theatrical flair, heck if you love drama so much, use the damn creativity to create something on the creative scene, don't waste it on being petty and bitter.

Now I know I said in the previous post I'd post up a poem, however, I haven't exactly had a lotta time to work on it, I've got it done 'bout halfway, but knowing me I might just scrap it all and set to work on a new one. None the less, it'll be up whenever it's done and done and ready, that's 'bout all I can say at the moment. Besides that, any of you people artists? Or rather, any of you peepz know how to draw? I kinda would appreciate a few pointers, I've had this entire action sequence stuck in my head and it's moving like the Max Payne bullet time sequence scenes, and yes it is getting a lil' annoying. I guess that's what a hyper-active imagination does to you for free huh? Well it is free entertainment but to me it also is something I feel the need to yank out and put on a piece of paper or sum'n. I feel like it's taking up all this space on the mental hard drive, I'm telling ya I need to get an external for the brain. I think people today get way more information than they used to once upon a time. Well, I should be on my way towards achieving sum'n if not accomplishing sum'n in my life at least for today :P, forget long term planning, that's the one kinda planning I never got into. I'm the kinda person who takes it hard when the small things don't work out at times, so imagine when the big things fall apart? :|...yeah I do admit I have a wide and expansive imagination but even that's too much for my imagination to come up with at this point in time. That's why I dream big, that way even if you get a reality check half way through dreaming you can still pick yourself up and move along. Well, you folks take care of yerselves now, and good luck with all the things coming your way :D, I'll check back in soon.

Yo Yo...Check it out...Here comes the 5-0!! ..

2010-10-14T14:54:00.000-07:00
No no people, it's not the cops jeez...I'm not all that morally or principally devoid just yet to have them chase me down just yet lol, heck they'd prolly throw me in for an overuse of words :|. Wow, this post feels like one of those special edition milestone episodes a show reaches. Like one of those milestone 100 or 150th episode, where something special and major happens to the story line. Well fortunately or unfortunately, there's nothing special that's gonna happen here, however, episodes remind me of Smallville!!! This coming Friday, my fav. show in the cosmos will be airing it's 200th episode. My heartiest CONGRATULATIONS to the entire cast, crew and the entire team of SV that's given the fans/audience of the show such an amazing show for the past decade Okay going back to my celebratory mode for reaching the half century mark; So erm...I may have lied when I said that I didn't have anything special planned besides a regular post....this fresh from the oven called my brain, it has had a change of neuronal impulses and has decided to be the mastermind behind a poem. Well, one thing is for sure, it won't be part of this post, perhaps it shall be my next post or the one after. Either way, it won't feature on the half century celebrations.

Unfortunately folks, I might have a lil' problem with updating the virtual space on a regular basis, just 'cuz of the pace and rate at which things keep flying my way, well flying is an understatement....it's more of hurtling towards me like a meteor shower on a regular basis lol. Oh I could add so much more to that sentence, but I'm gonna hold that back for now. When I started this blog I had a completely different outlook/frame of mind, it was more of a festive excited one, I can't necessarily guarantee a fun read nor can I assure one....especially not after a week where I've had frustrating prank buzz calls from the thing outside our apartment at 9 at night saying the whackiest lewd things....seriously I wish people would respect and learn languages out of curiosity and not out of stupidity. And then my housemate and I got leered at by these really old guys/grandpas who got outta the convenience store next to our place holding them beer cans in their hand. Okay maybe I've got it wrong and give myself too much credit :P...perhaps they were leering at the malt/barley? beverage in their hands going all Gabbar Singh on it "Muahahahaha...ab mujhse bachke kahaan jaaogi Basanti?!" Actually my roomie looked like she was ready to clock the 2 old farts more than I was. Aah people, we're an interesting breed aren't we? We're walking, talking contradictions, we find it within, among and around us. Why can't we mitigate that thing called differences and put it aside and learn to grow together, we can all accomplish so much together rather than turning on one another. I know we're not all the same in terms of our strengths, characters, values and principles....but don't we all live and breathe for the same reason? Ultimately aren't we all looking for satisfaction? And aren't we all working towards a purpose? Be that purpose whatever it may be.

None the less, I have a few things I want done this weekend, one of them being the fleshing out of this scene I've had in my head for the last 2 days now, actually I should flesh out more of that story as my mind has been flashing different images for chapters to add to that story. I dunno maybe in time I might post excerpts on here I'm not sure of it just yet though, juc' 'cuz those of ya'll who know me know my penchant for words. The one thing I'm super excited 'bout though is this lil' silly thing I did over 2 days ago...I kinda got myself my Christmas present lol, well unless when I get home I get myself a few books, then that will be my christmas present at that point in time lol. So a few days ago I finally bought something I've been eying for almost the last 3 or 4 years, and, I guess I just have all those fluttery butterflies of anticipation and excitement to get my hands on my package. That way I have something more to look forward to on that yellow brick road home. You see a few years ago I stumbled across these Superman dog tags on the Christopher Reeve Foundation website, I'd keep checking it out time and again, I mean the proceeds go towards research but I hadn't felt like I earned it. I still don't feel that way 'bout it, but it's inspiration enough and sometimes all you need is that sliver and glimmer of hope to get you through. So yes I finally caved in and got it, didn't quite figure out where it was on his foundation website, however I did get it through the Warner brothers website and the proceeds are still going towards a good cause. Christopher Reeves you'll always be the greatest and the original "Superman" the world has ever known!!

A'ite kids I'm gonna head back to my world of factors causing factors and battle my own lil' battles of akademia that like to beat me down quite often. But apparently those battles didn't or I guess haven't yet realized that I wasn't born into the God of War a.k.a Ares' time of the year for no reason. I mean we do put up quite the battle skills all the way to the end....that's how we roll from start to finish. While I'm on my way out, I just had one more thing to share with you guys...this is a blog one of the most amazing and extraordinary visionaries that I'm proud to call a friend, twin and family; has been working on for I guess a year or 2 now. It's a graphic novel which I think has a lot of potential and scope. It has a very interesting story line and I think this is something very relevant in today's times; what with the very interesting political scenarios that we've seen come into play around the world. Here's the link, if my insufficient description piques your curiosity, definitely take a look though and if all is well they'll actually have a web comic up and running soon :D. Yeah I gotta make sure I get my autographs before superstar visionary status is achieved lol.

http://qwixotic.wordpress.com/

I hope you enjoy checkin' the above mentioned link out, 'cuz I know I'm a regular when it comes to reading updates, still working on being a regular commentor on there though. Can't wait for the next update :D. A'ite kids you take care, have yourself an awesome week and an even awesomer weekend. Woohoo!!! Go Smallville!!! Episode #200 I CANNOT freakin' wait...the ONLY silver lining to my accumulation of storm clouds, and one of the only things pulling me through the week. Take care people and good luck with anything and everything you have coming your way this week or the upcoming week, I for a fact know you might actually have a poem headed your way...that's right head for the hills duck under your table before the visual onslaught gets you :P.

Song(s) of the Day:

Song: Save Me From Myself
Artist/Band: Parker Theory
Album: A Reason To Believe
Release Date: April 28, Circa 2009

Song: Pehli Nazar Mein
OST: Race
Release Date: Circa, 2008

Public Privacy? Yeah that dun' make sense to me either

2010-10-08T14:08:00.000-07:00
Well whaddaya know, its been a while since I posted on here. Though, to be honest I was gonna post on the 30th of September and then on the 1st but everytime I opened up the tab to write up a new Post, something came up and I got side-tracked. Now for those of you who know me, well u guys know how easily side-tracked I can get, and for those of you who don't know me then I guess you learned something new about me. Well, as those thinkers used to say/still do say or at least are quoted most of the time, its always good to learn something new everyday...in my opinion it needn't just be a skill or talent it can extend to learning sum'n new about people as well. You're able to peel back yet another layer of the metaphorical onion, minus the eye stinging, tear evoking sensations. And referring to the first few lines of this post, well I started it a few days ago, but things and other aspects of life came in the way, let's just say it's been a work in progress :P.

I hope things have been going well with everybody, be it akademian nuts or work or the quest for either 2 or quests for completely different reasons. So very recently, as in last week, I came across this news article on my google page, it was a teen suicide report actually. It was one of the saddest and infuriating things I remember reading. Well forgive me for skipping or adding details, but I'm just running with what I remember. Apparently this young man was a freshman at the University of Rutgers and his suicide was prompted by something his room mate posted online, and yeah a few of the major social networking sites, namely twitter, was involved with all of this as well. None the less, so this 18 year old was apparently a very quiet and to him self kinda guy who was a budding if not a brilliant violinist with quite a bright future and he was gay. Well what does him having to be gay have to do with anything? Well this kid's roomie decided it would be cool to post videos of him making out with some guy online. The kid asked his roomie if he could have the room between certain hours of the day and his roomie agreed, but, the bugger went to his friend/neighbour's place and accessed his webcam from his friend's room. 3 words is all I got for ya, WHAT THE HELL?!?! Whatever happened to the concept of respecting people's privacy? I mean forget the fact that the kid was gay, this isn't about being straight or gay, this is about not meddling into other people's lives and affairs. It's pretty simple and straightforward ya know? Do your own thing and mind your own business, I mean who died and gave you the power to go forth and pry yourself into everyone's business? Nobody should have to ever feel compelled to end their lives because of someone's brown nosing abilities, NOBODY should ever be able to have that much control or influence over one's thoughts, decisions and actions. Granted that the world we live in is a crazy and fast paced one, but that does not entitle one to decide to play the G-man and interfere heck intervene where one is not required.

And to top all of that off, the kid if not his friends wound up saying that he didn't do it because his roomie was gay but that he'd probably still do it if it was a girl that his roomie was spending some QT with. Seriously, WTF? How does that justify anything? And that's your stand on trying to claim your friend's innocence and support his apparently stupid sense of humour? Do these people not know where to draw the line between humour, pranks and reality? Well before I keep going on with my opinion out here, let me get the entire story out to you. So the young man found out about the incident 'cuz I assume everybody and their uncle checked out the social networking posts by the roomie and going by the herd mentality, rumours and bad news travels much faster than optimism these days. The kid found out and went and spoke to his RA or the dude/dudette in charge of that floor of the dorm the kid was at. He asked to be switched outta his current accomodations, though I'm unsure and unclear whether he did that after the first incident or the 2nd one. Yeah you'd think the roomie would shut up after the first incident right? Well, apparently he had the audacity to post up on the social network site that it was going down again, and that his roomie was having someone over between certain hours, and his comment/status said "I dare you to check this link out" during the hours that his roomie had company. I mean seriously? Come on!!! Life as a freshman has definitely gotta be more interesting, and why is it such a big deal as to what the person living next door does?

I'm not here for the whole Be Gay Screw Straight or Be Straight Ban Gay argument here, that's not even something I have the time, hustle nor energy to ponder, wonder, contemplate and argue about. It is what it is, people have the right to do whatever they choose to and don't need to justify their choices and actions once they've been made and taken. The need to justify should only exist if not arise while debating and weighing the pros and cons of said actions and choices. I mean once you've done what you've done you can't really go back in time and alter it, there's a no refund and no exchange policy as far as choices are concerned. What should matter most is the impact of your actions and choices, because each of these things affects people that we know, and we may not realize it but it sets about a ripple effect. At the end of all of this nonsense, there was more loss than gain for everybody involved...I mean forget the civil groups intervening, forget the justice system...look at the core of the matter. The world lost 2 budding souls, 2 thriving individuals who were about to embark on that journey to leave everlasting impressions and foot prints in the world they lived/live in. Now what do we have? 2 lost souls, one lost forever to his family and friends and the other losing out on the opportunity to realize his dreams, but the ultimate losers are the families of both these individuals. Imagine the loss, hurt, anger and pain these families are going through? Judging by how the news reports are going I'm assuming that they aren't even getting the chance to grieve the loss of a piece of their hearts and souls. It is truly heartbreaking as to what the world is capable of, and it saddens me to see the capacities and capabilities of mankind being misused for such idiotic things. It shakes me to my bones to know that we take such pleasure in breaking people and making them feel so trapped and imprisoned in this world that they live in. What do you guys think? How do you feel about all of this?

Well, on that note, I'm gonna finally end this post, as it's been in the making for an entire week, due to my inability to multi-task....and yes the akademian nuts took more prevalence than the mind flow. But, I do hope all is going well with you guys and good luck fer all your upcoming endeavours, I know you guys will kick some major arse in the days and tasks ahead. Take care and stay tuned for more drabbles as and when they come :).

Stoic Stillness

2010-09-26T09:34:00.000-07:00
I would like to kick-start this post with a saying from the great Khalil Gibran, he was a man of great wisdom and every word of his is not without deep meaning and they are treasures worth sharing with the world.

"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars."

The last few days have been something along the lines of refractive more than reflective, I was trying to see the 'light' with the lights off, all I learned from that enlightening experience was that I could only get blinder :P. So, I turned on the light and voila gained my simple wisdom with the flick of a switch. That bit of enlightenment isn't something you sit around waiting for expectantly, but at the same time sitting and waiting for it to come on isn't gonna do much good either 'cuz you can keep waiting and you might wait a lifetime before it comes on. So what does my neither here neither there theory with an inconclusive observation have to do with my diffraction and pretty much anything? Well, for one it helped or rather I guess is still helping me through my phase, it's been something that I've been dealing with for a while actually, I just never realized how long my mind was actually at the diffractive dilemma. I guess it got tired and decided to snag my conscious into the scenario in an attempt to stem the flow of darkness and destructive capabilities that I tend to carry with me. As a response to any potential thoughts and opinions contrary to above statements, let me just say that I've witnessed, experienced and seen the trail I've left behind, not a very pretty sight, but I guess thank you for thinking otherwise...I guess one has to witness what they are capable of in order to keep themselves in check, and in order to minimize destruction. Believe that when things go outta control and outta hand and you're left there thinking, what the fuck? how, why and when? and you shake your head in disbelief, there ain't gonna be no 'Yoda' to come pull you out of your conundrums and confusion.

It's easy to say leave the past where the past is at and learn from the past to progress into the future, but honestly, how many of us leave the past behind like the past tense? I'm gonna be bold and assume hardly too many of us. I mean hell, look at the world we're living in currently people. If anything history has shown us the darkest side of ourselves ever imaginable where we've lost all form and sense of our consciences and proceeded to slaughter so many because we as people focussed more on our differences rather than the strands, threads and links that bind us together. The world is still being further divided today, and what the fuck are we all doing 'bout it? That's right, Jack Shit, I'm just as guilty as the rest of the world; the world we live in is so caught up with it's own pace and speed and need to outclass, outdo and outshine that somewhere along that line of overdoing things and ourselves we've forgotten to look at what our initial goals, dreams and targets ever were. We forget the very spark of motivation that once made us believe that life was something worth living for. Anyway, I do digress, but if we haven't learned shit from history then how do we learn from our pasts? I think I may have just contradicted myself with the history issue, 'cuz clearly in this case we HAVE forgotten our pasts and just marched on into the future making the same oopsies and whoopsies that we did before. A few years ago I decided I'd adopt the whole neither forgive nor forget routine of things, the first part of course was the hardest for me, I mean hey mi madre's analogy of the kinda person I am is that I'm the equivalent of a door-mat so I guess you can take a stab at how sorta kinda hard it was for me to not do the forgiving. So, I scrapped that plan and decided I just wouldn't give a damn about things or people anymore, I mean hey that way there's less chances of heart pieces and soul pieces of yourself being ripped to shreds, bits and pieces. You know that way, you stop yourself from being played around with, and being the universe's biggest joke, well okay universe is kinda big but hey everyone's life is their own universe....we're all galaxies and solar systems in motion. So, the genius mind of mine came up with the simplest plan just don't care and nothing can break you more than yourself. So, like the way I've been for most of my current orbitting existence, I became a shadow which wasn't too hard for me to do, 'cuz drifting along unnoticed isn't something I'm new to. What a fool I was, I hadn't realized then that either way it didn't matter 'cuz the world still kept dancing and frolicking away to it's own beat, rhythm and tune. I'm the kinda person who will find every alternative to fix something if it's broken, sadly the only thing I can't seem to fix is myself, you know they have that whole series of how to fix yourself schnazz that those self improv gurus totally profit out of? Maybe one day, some day I might write one of those books, and I'm pretty sure mine will be the non profitable one :P. I spent a few years trying to fix things so they'd go back to being what they were, never realizing I should've bid my adieu's a long time ago 'cuz those moments were never coming back. Instead I spent more time, trying harder, thinking harder, reflecting harder, banishing myself to a self imposed exile, when instead I could've used that time to build more beautiful, blossoming bridges. But oh well, what's done is done 'en it? No regrets either way though. So then why the hell am I going into such long drawn thoughts about what might be nothing to most you...well 'cuz they are my thoughts lol, that you're being subjected to read, so yeah apologies. Recently, I felt I had a chance to atone for some damage and destruction I contributed to at a time and age that feels and seems like a lifetime ago. But, the word atonement is something far easier to say and type out, than it is to process, experience and undergo. Like a happy little puppy, I grabbed onto my chance and didn't see the right hook coming, and *BAM!* knocked me off my ride and was a good reminder of that harsh light of reality that is pretty damn good at picking out the shadows.

Funny, twisted thing about life though is that it gives you that choice of either being suppressed, repressed and restricted by the weight of your sins OR to pick yourself back up with all those chains tying you down and to plow forward and break them chains one at a time until you're as free as the free-est spirit. Of where this journey will take me I'm not sure, but what I do know is that I'm probably one of the luckier shadow travellers who has a lotta love, faith and support coming from some amazing people. I've never understood why and I guess I probably never will, must be one of those cosmic mysteries that none of them astronauts and cosmonauts can solve.

Well folks, this is all I got time for at the moment, I kinda have some pending things to take care of, like the Season Premiere of Smallville :D, woohoo, Season 10 is here, which makes me both happy and sad, seeing as how this is the final season :(. You were well worth the 10 years Smallville and you will be greatly missed, at least by me...perhaps a spin-off might make me happy, but I dunno it's too early to draw any conclusions. Knowing something so amazing is coming to an end makes me sad but hey all good things must come to an end, and I hope it goes out with a fantastic bang :). Until then there's the whole season to enjoy and relish :D. Take care people, and good luck too all of ya'll for tests, exams, work issues, job hunts, hitting dead ends and rutts in life...there is a light, know it don't sit there waiting for it. Work keeps us honest to ourselves and to what and where we see ourselves, so work on seeing the light, must be a fuse problem or the wrong bulb :), but that light will shine it's way down to ya, it's a matter of the right place and the right time. Cheers.

Song(s) of the Day:

Song: One More Day
Singer/Band: VAST
Album: April
Release Date: October 16, Circa 2007

Song: Nature Boy
Singer/Band: Kerli
Album: Smallville Season 10, as featured on the Season 10 promo
Release Date: Well in all it's epic-ness, September 2010